Make that a big resounding NO!

I spent 35 years talking on the phone when I was working; I think I put in my phone time. Fortunately, most of my friends feel the same way. We all screen our calls, and if it's a number we don't recognize, we don't answer the phone. When we do talk, we keep it short and to the point.

I too spent most of my work life on the phone. Although I do answer the phone when it rings after a friend died and the person notifying people did not want to leave a message. You can always tell someone to stop with the stuff this person is telling you. If you are just their sounding board you have not lost a friend.

I think you need to show your friend how to use Facebook. It's full of people who want to post about the minutiae of their life. She could connect with lots of friends and take some of the pressure from your friendship.

I do like talking on the phone.....but every day? There must be a kind way of telling her. She obviously doesn't get the message by not answering the phone. Maybe something like "I realize I am spending entirely too much time chatting with folks and need to free up some of my time." DH's nose gets out of joint when I give more attention to friends than to him. Blame it on him, but be sure to tell him! LOL

I am not big on phone calls. I rarely call anyone. But if I get calls from family and friends I usually enjoy the conversation. I used to have more calls before texting became so popular. I hate all of the robo calls!

I try to limit calls to ~15 minutes or even less because beyond that any conversation will encounter diminishing returns - more quantity means less quality. I enjoy the people I speak with regularly, friends and family. but regularly for family is a short call with each a few times a week and with friends, less frequently. Email is a good substitute too.

I don't "screen" my calls, I have technology to do that. I answer what I answer and even numbers I don't recognize are usually calls I want to take. Friends and family know to not leave me voicemail messages, I'm too impatient to listen to a 60 second message that ends with - please call me. Just a hangup tells me who to call back.

Males, who aside from my relatives are who I get calls from, aren't as commonly afflicted with what I'll call "incessant talking syndrome" as other genders are. I wouldn't allow anyone to suck up my time as janey's friend seems to like to do to her and I'd find a way to tell her politely that her calls are welcome but for shorter lengths and not every day.

When I was a teenager, I loved yakking on the phone. So if your friend was a teenager it would make sense to me why she wanted to go over the minutia of her day.

However as adults, most people I know at least don't want to be tied up on the phone talking about insignificant stuff.

I can't imagine being held captive like that by someone who is so inconsiderate of your time. If you can't just tell her that you don't enjoy talking on the phone every day, then I'd stop answering calls. When she emails you reply (via email)..."can't talk today, will try to call you tomorrow or the next day." Then slowly increase the # of days needed to call her back. She'll get the picture and you'll get your life back.

Another thing you could try when she calls is saying that you have 15 minutes to spare and then you will have to end the call because you have other things you need to do. Set a timer and when 15 minutes is up say something like "nice talking with you; I have to go now. Bye." and hang up the phone. I think if you want this to stop, you're going to have to take control of the situation.

NO!!!! I hate talking on the phone. I will never call anyone if it isn't absolutely necessary. I usually answer every call....most of which are stupid scam sort of calls. I hate idle chit chat. If you need to say something, say it. It shouldn't take very long to do that.

Yes, go ahead and call me. I enjoy phone calls! and I have no problem with longer calls either... unless there is something burning on the stove. ;)

Long calls are almost as good as hugs.

Moni

Wow, did not expect so many replies so soon. I have set the timer, oh before you hang up just one more thing-really. I point a finger to my head & my husband will call my name-oh need to go & she still continues on . Once when I was driving my husband picked up my phone to say I was driving. Ten minutes later he finally hung up, she relentlessly asked him questions. He will never answer again.

No, not unless it’s family and even then sometimes it’s still no.. When she emails you, there is nothing wrong with saying that you have a lot going on and don’t have the time right now. Do it enough times and maybe she’ll tone it down a bit.

If she keeps talking after you say you have to go, just hang up the phone while she's in mid-sentence. It sounds like a rude thing to do, but she's the one being rude by monopolizing your time.

Her: "Blah, blah, blah."

You: "I have to go now."

Her: "One more thing - blah, blah, blah."

You: "Bye, now." Click

Her: "Blah, blah, bl..."

I have long conversations with those I don't see on a regular basis.

I don't have anyone who Either calls or I call daily .

She doesn't get the point because she thinks that one, you enjoy the conversation and two, what she is saying is interesting, important etc.

My DH's sister likes to talk and add every minutia. Whether in person or on the phone I will sometimes rein her in. I will ask her to get back to the original topic.

DH will stop her and say. "Do you really think I'm interested in....... fill in the blank. Get to the point!!" But, that's his sister who he helps out in many ways do he can get away with it.

The fact that you are posting makes me believe that you have now had it.

You need to come up with a way to nicely tell her that you don't want to spend hours on the phone. Then limit but to what is reasonable for you.

Yes to not answering and to just ignoring the emails.

ETA: you could say, "Sorry to keep you on the phone, I'll let you go now. Bye. Then hang up. I heard someone don this once and I thought it was brilliant.

No, I'm not a phone person. I don't mind informational or to the point friendship type calls, but don't expect me to give you an hour if you are my friend. One friend, and my sister are my biggest trials. I see who is calling and have to decide if I'm going to answer, if I have time for a lengthy call because all from both are just that. Don't get me wrong, I love and appreciate my sister, but her calls turn to several other directions and one point leads to a new subject long after she's done with the reason for her call.

DH is a phone person. He talks to his brothers, his friends, sometimes every day. (and two of his brothers call here at least once a day minimum). I don't have a problem with his habits, he's the people person in this house, not me.

How about telling her about online chat rooms because she obviously is lonely and needs contact.

https://www.7cups.com/bored-lonely-chat-room/

Just to chit chat? no, never have liked talking on the phone.

No, I don't like idle chit-chat on the phone. I have technology too, like Elmer, that screens out spam-type calls. And those that do get through, if I don't recognize the number, I just don't answer. I don't want my time monopolized from someone trying to sell me something. I don't even want to take the time to say "no." I then block the number so they can't call back. And this is why I love texting. I often hear from a couple of friends, sometimes daily. Usually a quick check-in, "how's things today?" And I get a quick reply. We then decide if we have something important to talk about rather than text. I like to hear from people, but I just don't want to chat endlessly about trivial things.

No. I would rather text or talk in person. Everyone that would need to talk to me knows this about me, so I get a lot of texts. If i get a call, i know its important and not a chit chat situation. I group text with my mom and 2 sisters or just with my 2 sisters almost daily. Just to chit chat. By text. Way better than talking. I have 3 brothers as well, but really only talk to them via text if it's a group text started by either my mom or another sibling. Same thing with those various siblings spouses. Hardly ever talk and if we do,text please unless it's too important or hard to explain by text.

I get so many scam calls and spoofed numbers that the "do not disturb" feature on my phone is always on. I have 2 custom settings. One for days I am working, I only have emergency contacts able to get through so no one wakes me up. On my off days, all people in my contacts, but only the people in my contacts can get through. I don't care if they wake me up on those days. Everything else can call, but the phone wont ring. I wake up to around 4 or 5 voicemails from scammers daily. Ugh.

Oh, and I used to hate (and probably still do) when I am on the phone with someone and it goes silent for a few minutes, and then when I try to get off the phone they start in again just to keep me on the phone. Why try to force a conversation like that?

not very much

I have a friend like that who calls daily to chit chat for a long time. I dislike it and have noticed the conversation is all about her. Recently I have started to talk about my stuff too. Guess what? When I put the focus on me, she abruptly has to go. Hmmmm....

I have a cousin like that.

No, I dread it when my sister calls which she does often because we have a sister with many health problems. She repeats herself over and over and when starts talking about other things giving minor details I care nothing about. I have started to say I dont really care about that. She says I know I know but does the same thing next phone call.

I used to have someone in my life like that, janey, and I ended up having to be absolutely honest. I don't mind talking on the phone, but my conversations are mostly extremely short and sweet, with a mission in mind. This person needed to drone on and on.

I have no way of texting....my little phone is old and not equipped for that and I am glad of that. I have two friends that call me and although I love them both dearly, they go on and on and on until I say...."Gotta go pee, can't hold it any longer. Love ya! Bye!" and hang up the phone.

Why not be truthful with them instead? Be a dear friend and help them understand you prefer shorter calls.

I had a friend like that in high school. I'd put the phone down and do something else, coming back every few minutes to comment. She never knew.

I had no idea a smartphone could be used for voice calls. :)

I have friends that I don't get to often see, I love catching up with them over the phone. There's just so much more that can be communicated by phone than through e-mails or text. I have to laugh when we get ready to hang up and realize we've been talking for 3-4 hours and still have something one wants to tell the other.

You can also install the video chat app if you want to. Either to your phone or to your pc. Two weeks ago I received a call from someone I knew a long time ago and my phone stated I had not installed "Video Chat". Not something I want to have but some would like it.

I used to have a friend like that. She'd call and talk for hours about...how pretty her hair is. How she donated her hair to be made into a wig and was told how perfect it was. They don't accept dyed hair or wavy hair, I couldn't donate my hair. How great she looks in a bikini, hanging out at her pool. How great she looked in that little black dress. Every phone call....same information.

I once said, in person, with her mother looking on....Ya know it takes 3 heads of hair to make a wig & they dye the hair to make them match? Her mother pointed out to her that I did not respect her "perfect" hair and I countered ALL her explanations. She stopped calling....after 25 years. :0) It's been 7 years since I've received one of THOSE phone calls....can't say I miss 'em. :0)

I have very good, longtime friends all over the country and talking to them on the phone is a lovely way to keep up. Email and texts will never take the place of a conversation by phone. Of course, face-to-face is best, but that's just not doable anymore - at least not very often.

I would only want to talk to someone on a daily basis if they were a very close friend or family and unwell or very elderly. But those would not be long conversations. My mother and I talked weekly, not daily, unless she was in the hospital.

People like your friend are egotistical, selfish, disrespectful and rude. I've had people who would call every day and proceed to talk non stop for a minimum of 30 minutes about THEMSELVES. I was never so glad as the day caller ID was invented.

And, to answer your question, I hate talking on the phone. I will put off making a necessary phone call as long as I possibly can.

A professional career throughout which time was always short and efficiency and planning were essential taught me to appreciate adequate but succinct oral communications for phone calls and meetings. And to dislike spending more time than needed.

If you have time to kill or can tolerate a conversation that goes on and on, fine. I don't and can't. Any call that willingly (for both parties) goes on for more than 20 or 30 minutes does so because you want it to, not because there's more to talk about.

These are eye opening. What is the purpose of a phone? For many here it is a not grand reminder of work as it was a tool used for employment. For other's it is an instrument of relationship building. All I can say is before social media, it was a lifesaver for stay at home moms during nap time!!! The dislike of getting roped into a conversation with someone you don't particularly care for or about is not a phone phenom. In person they are also NO FUN.

It depends who is calling, I guess. There are a few people I have long enjoyable conversations with and lose track of time. Some folks I keep it fairly short and sometimes I look at the CallerID and think....nope, not happening.

I will talk to my husband, my mom and my bff who lives out of state and that's pretty much it. Even my kids (adults) will text first and then if we need to talk we will. I hate talking on the phone any more and back in the day I used to love it.

I also had a friend who would call and talk all about herself. One time I said something personal about me and there was silence... and then she said something totally unrelated and I knew she hadn't even listened to what I said. Our friendship pretty much ended that day. We're FB friends now years later but that's it.

Life's too short to be stuck on the phone with someone wasting your time.

I have a circle of girlfriends that I have known for many years. The oldest relationships are 23 years. My girlfriend Maria and I have had marathon conversations for years, but not daily, maybe once or twice a week. But half the time is us laughing hysterically about stupid stuff. Another “newer” friend(10 years) is similar, we talk a couple of times a week. I ended up introducing them to each other and they have since become friends. We ended up starting a group text a year or 2 ago that is just a long thread of hilarious.

I will say though, we all have an understanding that when we don’t have time to chat it’s no big deal. If one of us says, gotta go, there is no quibbling it’s just ok, love you, bye. No harm, no foul.

I don’t talk to many people at length on the phone. The exception to that is our kids, especially my DD. We talk every day or two even if it’s just for a few minutes, but sometimes longer. Obviously we are very close. Our boys will call occasionally and we enjoy chatting and catching up with them. My good friends and I usually text or email but sometimes will call.

It would drive me nuts to have someone calling me daily.

When the kids were small and my friends and I were all stay at home moms, we talked on the phone all day. All. Day. But now that we've all grown apart and have jobs and our lives have gotten busier, talking on the phone is no longer something we do. If anything, we text now and then, or send private messages through Facebook messenger. I really rarely even see anyone anymore. I need to fix that....

But I hate talking on phone now. I used to love it. But not so much anymore.

janey alabama,

Do you and the yakkety friend occasionally/(ever?) get together for a face to face chat?

Could you bring up the subject of your concern and share that concern diplomatically?

OTOH ... how about keeping track of the subject and approximate length of her "discussion"/(monologue) of her issues for three or four days, during which time you attempt to share some of your engaging doings, with the approximate length of time that you two spent on them, until she detoured the truck over to following her roadmap again ... then telling her something of your concern about the inequity.

Dad used to say that it was a poor train that didn't run both ways on the same track ... and I don't remember him dealing with the possibilities of there maybe being another train on that track. Knowing my interest in considering alternative possibilities, I wouldn't be at all surprised to hear that I may have brought that possibilty into the picture/discussion.

ole joyful

Of course I like to talk on the phone, if I am not busy. My children most of them call me every day and more than once. I have a childhood friend that calls me and a sister in law that calls me. I seldom make the calls at all. If I am busy I don't answer but call them back when I can. I don't really like texting, too slow. I like emails too.

Sue

My sisters and I can talk for hours. But not daily! They are the only 2 people I would care to chat with for that length of time!

My friends and I can talk on the phone for more than an hour if we haven't seen each other in a while. It doesn't seem that long until I hang up the phone and see the timer. My best friends don't use FB or any social media platforms so we talk to each other on the phone. Both my sisters have passed away in the last 6 years and I really miss their daily phone calls. My older sister would call and talk to my cat and everytime the phone rang Lucy would run to the phone waiting to hear my sister's. It was sad to see her do this after Marjorie passed away.

My sister and a Sister-in-law were the only 2 that I talked to often and for an hour or so at a time. Unfortunately they are both gone. My sister this past January and SIL just a month ago. I miss our phone chats terribly. I could always count on them to lift my spirits when I was down and I believe they felt that I did the same for them. I have no one now that can replace what they did for me.

That's sad, that being unable to enjoy conversations with special loved ones and friends as you used to enjoy doing serves as a reminder of their deaths.