Yellowthumb, this is kind of a long post but take from it what you will. I hope at least one suggestion below can help you, your wife, and son. I understand why you "walk" your son, it makes sense. But yeah, two hours per day is a lot. That's a very good compromise to replace the 2nd walk with indoor (rough house) activities you can do with mom around. Take advantage of the days when he is not real active (or when your late on your schedule and it's near bedtime) and do more quiet time things with the three of you. Like reading a book, practicing ABCs, numbers, etc. Have your son help mom sort laundry (going in and coming out). If he doesn't enjoy it right away with mom, you should alternate it with your wife so you/Richard can do it together and make it more fun (like a game). Maybe watching you do it will give mom some tips on how to be more creative/exciting for a 2 year old. Even if not fun, kids like to "help mom/dad" -- it also teaches good work ethic and gives mom a break from that chore. He will also pick up you are "helping mommy" when giving her a break from laundry. All-in-all, remember children love routine. The more your son can do with mom, as a routine event daily, the more he will enjoy it. I agree your son should be sleeping in his own bed, I struggled with this, too. Also, you shouldn't "run" to his room every time he calls. Even if it wakes your wife, she has to realize that if she wants him to sleep on his own and develop individualized self-esteem, you may need to loudly call back to your son "it's OK, mom and dad are here, it's time to sleep now" when he calls you. So far, he has learned that you will "appear" when he calls. Replace that with the sound of your voice. Later, don't answer every time he calls, he will probably go back to sleep the times you don't answer. Soon he won't need either. You might also try some quiet sleepy music. Are you *sure* your wife can't go back to sleep if woken up twice? I suspect there is a "fit" being thrown by mommy there... but I don't know her. In any case, she should be willing to not be upset at YOU during the transition period. Another suggestion: buy (used) a rear carry/pack for you to carry him. Mine looks like a hiking backpack. My daughter (two years in July) loved it initially, but likes being independent now when we're outside. However, she likes it when she's tired and wants to be held (which I WON'T do excessively) so I go outside and garden with her on my back! It's good exercise if you are physically able to do it. And I am constantly talking to her when she's in there. It soothes her to listens to my voice and learns the names of things in the garden (or the sky, the ground, inside the neighbors house by peeking over the fence, whatever). I agree with Calistoga Al and feel lucky your wife is communicating with you. You stated you realize women need to talk, share their day, communicate, to feel loved and make that "connection" with their mate. Men need sex for that same reason. It's how (most) humans are wired. Take care of her and you'll realize how (eventually) she will want you to be happy and cared for. Another suggestion: Be OK with the fact your son likes to spend time with you more. Those things can CHANGE! I have three kids and each of them went through that. Infants are usually closer to mommy (but typically look like daddy) when born. As toddlers many will then attach to the "fun" parent. It will likely reverse (or even out) later when in grade school as they detach from parents and become more social as well as independent. As they age, both boys and girls develop different needs they can get from either parent, AKA "special bonds", but in different ways. Your son "goes to mommy" for bedtime, just like my daughter does after spending all day with me. She can't run to mom fast enough some days. Other days, she won't go to mom or me at all. Everyone just needs to be OK when they act that way (as long as they aren't being disrespectful to parents). But it's also OK (and normal) for first time parents to be hurt by that; and you should share that in private with each other. One of the best examples you can set for your son is being a good husband. Show affection (kisses) and care for your wife (fetching her things, massaging her feet, whatever) in front of him. Some day he will be a husband, too. But you also reap what you sow.

Thanks for the suggestions and appreciated the input. Agreed that one should inform his family if it's emergency. Possibility he might be suffering from early stages of dementia and I have no idea if he is seeking medical profession for that. Why, he's got symptoms like short term memory loss (cannot remember recent events), anxiety, depression, changes in his behaviour and personality. He said he has been having a gradual short term memory loss over a number of years. I know of another elderly friend and this friend too is suffering from gradual short term memory loss and the effect is gradually debilitating. It's difficult to suggest to him to go check his short term memory loss out with a doctor, as he is not one that would take advise well. So all I can do is give him a phone number of helplines here and let him sort it out himself. I will add that he is finding it hard like confused and lost with even managing his own life. He also suffers from bowel issues and must go to the toilet straight away. It's not funny because wait till you and I reached an elderly age we too would suffer from incontinence and bowel problems, therefore have some compassion and empathy. Many years ago I know of a friend's Mum she suffered from dementia for many years and no one knew about it, not even my friend and my friend's Mum's relatives. It was only a year before she passed away something was done about it. My friend after living in another country for a decade, had to make decision to come back after making the decision to live in another country for good, then returned to sort the situation out. I can inform you that my friend's Mum's condition by the time it was sorted out it was very sad, because my friend's Mum did not seek medical profession to get assistance and help years before, therefore no one knew my friend's Mum was suffering from dementia to intervene earlier.

There has been a few comments since last time I had a chance to log on. First, as for time, I am not looking for my daughter to solve the relationship problems. I just want to keep things moving long enough for her to have a say in what happens. If things fall apart right now, there is a good chance she would end up leaving the country with my wife. In addition, I will have finished my education in a couple of years. That may help our relationship as well. As for treating my wife good. I TRY to give her a kiss every day...try to hug her. Make sure I thank her when she does things around the house. I know showing appreciating and gratitude is important. We go out for dinner every now and then. I try to good on all the important holidays (Birthday, Anniversary, Valentines Day, Christmas). I have gotten her flowers...but that has slowed a bit. It is tough to do without the least bit of affection back. I tell her that I love her regularly (daily or more) but get "No you don't," in response. She does work some extremely long hours. She had a chance to get a job with less hours but wanted to keep her current job. She likes what she is doing but does not like the long hours. She is angry at me for the career decisions I made, I try to support her in the decisions she makes. I am not going to make them for her. I do a lot of the housework....cook the bulk of the meals, clean up dishes, do laundry, keep the yard good, try to keep the house clean. She does help out around the house some...it is not like she does not do anything. I know she is working hard. Now that I am retired, she does need to work but not as much as she does. It would really be rough to make it on just the retirement check. I make enough money to cover a place to stay. We don't need a whole lot more. She works where she does because she likes that job. It is in her field and does seem like a good job other than the hours. While she enjoys the job, it seems like there is a lot of drama there. I always ask her how her day was...and get about an hour or two of all the excitement. It seems like there are a couple of groups of women that can't get along...she is in the middle of one of the two groups. I have worked shift work myself and know there is alway conflict there...she can not let things slide. We will see how things go.

I don't really have a "relationship" with my in-laws. My MIL is frankly not the kind of person I'd choose to be friendly with in real-life; she's (like yabber's) passive-aggressive, gossipy, talking behind one's back type. They didn't like his ex; MIL and she would get into arguments into which they'd try to drag friends and relatives to be on "their side". But they've always been completely distant with me; I'd try to reach out and I'd just be disregarded. My mother tried to reach out during wedding planning and was ignored. So I've given up and don't really much care what they think of me. When we've visited them or they've been here (not often), I don't apologize, don't change things, I just remain perfectly civil and disengaged. Since they've rebuffed any effort to know me, their opinion is a matter of indifference to me, since they know almost nothing about me. DH has had his own problems with them in the past. He was, and is, the one in the family who is blamed for anything and everything that goes wrong - yet he is also the one who is expected to drop everything and run up to save the day at their convenience. I leave it all up to him; if he feels that we should visit, I go - if he wants to invite them here, I do my best to plan a nice event and ignore the fact that they will be unhappy and find fault with it. It's not often that we do see them because of their behavior towards all of us. That's right, all of us. MIL had done a lot of babysitting of SS18 when he was young, and blatantly favors him over SS8. When SS8 sees them, he is first told how they miss him and he should see them more often (maybe he should drive himself?), then treated to a dissertation on his grandmother's health issues, then questioned about and compared to his brother. And then he's just ignored - given one of his brother's old toys to play with and set in a corner. And now, since SS18 is on-and-off living with BM, the two of them (BM and MIL) are back playing some twisted game. BM will invite herself over and promise to bring SS18, SS18 will refuse to go, and BM will show up with SS8 whereupon MIL and BM go right back into their bickering, while SS sits, ignored by both of them. It's fascinating in a horrible way to watch it all as an outside observer (like watching a train wreck). I'd often wondered why DH had married BM at all (aside from the shotgun part) since they seem so different. I realized a few months ago that MIL's behavior (self-centered, back-stabbing, playing favorites and pitting people against each other, the drama queen behavior, the disagreements in which everyone is expected to pick a side) is so very similar to BM's that it's no wonder that he didn't see anything unusual with it. Additionally, DH already knew that anything and everything that went wrong was his fault and his responsibility to fix - he'd been brought up that way! Poor DH and SS; they both deserve so much better. I don't understand it, maybe they were very badly behaved in a past life or something. I'd always thought my family was kind of out there, but DH and SS love them. We may be weird and quirky but everyone is well-meaning and unfortunately there are too few like that in DH's family.