I'm not sure why you are so surprised by this, or look for a clinical diagnosis. Its an interesting case, that you describe, and a very very sad one for all concerned but it sounds perfectly normal, to me. Because as you describe it it is not, in fact, the case that the items in question had only a sentimental value for their rightful owner. They had a (negative) sentimental value for the thief, as well. Many, if not most, objects that an individual can collect have, at bottom, a sentimental or emotional value--and that is true even for such things that are easily replaced such as tvs or radios. One thing those things can symbolize is ownership itself, home, comfort, recreation, stability. Many years ago I read a book called "uncoupling" which was a (to my mind not very good) sociological study of divorcing couples. One thing the sociologist found was that people fought very hard over the disposition of even such massproduced, easily replacable, and often totally-worthless from a resale point of view mechanical objects like stereos. People routinely fight over particular copies of books that they could easily afford to replace just as they fight over the disposition of pets and children which can not be replaced or valued. The thief in your story valued something that is inherently non monetary--power and control (however illusory) over her friend/relative. She excercised that control secretly, like a wealthy collector who buys a stolen item that he can never show and gloats over it privately. To her it reset a social or emotional balance with the rightful owner. I've seen this kind of emotional theft and violence a million times in my life--its no different from someone reaching over and taking a bite of food off your plate without asking. Its as much a violation of your privacy and your personal space, its as much a hostile act, just using the medium of these "trivial" things--but no ring or signed book can ever be truly trivial. Don't we all save things for sentimental reasons that have no economic value? I saved a cheap alarm clock that my grandmother gave me because it was the last thing she gave me before she died. If someone had stolen it and held on to it to hurt me I wouldn't be surprised, but I'd have the last laugh because the theft of a cheap alarm clock doesn't alter my relationship with my grandmother at all. I don't mean to dismiss your concern, I just don't think this is a clinical case--its not kleptomania (it doesn't sound like) because its not random, impulsive, or compulsive. Its very targeted. It sounds like ordinary spite, taken to extra-ordinary levels. abfab

Susan: There is a lot of give and take with car pool, and I think it works best between good friends because it can be such a strain. It sounds like this car pool may not work out for you, in that case, don't take anything personally and just let it go. Car pools are wonderful and its fun to see your children interact with others (that can be enlightening, in fact). However, some down time alone in the car with your daughter could be a very good thing for your relationship with her. Another alternative is to ask your daughter if she has a close friend that she can car pool with, although it might be out of your way, it could work very well. Plus, it's a good idea to expand your group of friends who you can call upon to pick your daughter up in the event of an emergency or something else that prohibits you from getting her on any given afternoon. Maybe there is a third party you can include in your car pool? One successful car pool I know of requires (in a nice way) that the 5 moms get together once a month and discuss their daughters schedules together. If any girl needs to be to school early or stay late due to a test, they've agreed to send all of the girls early or keep them all late rather than disrupt the car pool. Our girls high school has laptops and wireless, so the girls are never at a loss for something to keep them busy. I also want to add that I am usually the one who is on the receiving end of car pools. I have a lot of children and am grateful that my friends don't count the driving they do for my children. I cannot possibly repay them by driving their children an equal amount. The key to car pool is recognizing that any party might need to change plans overnight and might not be able to notify you until it's time to leave the next morning. For example, in the case of the girl skipping her first class because it was a study hall, perhaps she was feeling sick, perhaps she needed to finish a project up in the morning, or maybe she just needed a good night sleep and her mom told her to sleep in. Not the most considerate way to tell you, but with teens you really need to go with the flow or you will go berserk. And I know that you know that, it just helps to remind myself of that fact. Driving these long distances to and from schools and other activities can make you crazy. Good luck, I hope the problem resolves itself quickly.

I love both of my MILs. My first DH died when he was 45. He was my best friend and a marvelous husband and father. My first MIL stopped talking to me when I remarried but I kept pursuing a relationship with her because of my children. After five years or so she came around and has been part of our lives since. I just visited with her today at the nursing home she is in to make arrangements for her getting her hair done and arranging with her care takers to have her ready to join us for Thanksgiving. She is no longer able to ambulate but my DSIL will be able to get her into their car and fit her wheelchair in and when they get to our house there will be enough young men there to get her in the house. My newest DMIL & DFIL, (18 years with my DH compared to 22 years with my first DH) will also be there as always. They all get along well and my DH knows I will do the same for his parents if they have to go into assisted or skilled nursing care. I count my blessings that I have had the honor of two sets of in laws. WTBS, my son can be a real stinker at the holidays but at least he still comes!

This happened to us a number of years ago. The buyers were cash poor, but had the income to qualify for a mortgage on our home. They ended up paying more for our home and we absorbed closing costs. This ended up netting us $2,000 less then we were asking on the home. We took it because the net was definitely inline with what we were hoping for. I think if I were you, I'd take it, you also are only netting 2k less then your asking. Yes you will pay the commission on the extra 9k. One thing I'd be careful about is the appraisal. Will the home appraise for 9k more then you were asking? If it doesn't then the buyer may come back at you wanting you to make more concessions.