We had the same problem for years. We have a group of seven couples (all close in age). We would take trips together once every year or so but during the year we would take turns hosting a monthly dinner. Of course this always necessitated a hostess gift. All of us are comfortably off and at our age have everything (material) that we want or need. It drove me crazy because I was constantly being gifted with craft type items. I am just not into cutesy things and I had a difficult time coming up with items that I thought the other ladies would enjoy or use. I failingly ended up giving food items or fresh flowers. We all finally came to a consensus that we should stop doing hostess gifts and at Christmas put funds together to donate to a charity. Thank goodness! The pressure every month is off and we can give to those in need. It's a win/win.

Hi Kids, Thanks for starting this thread, saramynn. We also have a graduation in May, and have been trying to come up with somthing as a gift. When I think of a graduation gift I like to think of something that will have meaning to the graduate throught the years and remind them of their accomplishments each time they see it. That being said, I'm not crazy about a gift of technology just because of it's short life span. Money is always a safe bet but does not have that personal touch. I think I like sherrmanns idea of the Waterford crystal. Even if it was a smaller piece and then give an additional gift of cash. Thanks Kids, now I have a direction to go in. Good luck to everyone involved in there own quest for the perfect gift! sooey

When our two went to Univ., my ex-, their Mom (head of food service at a substantial hosp.) paid about a third, they paid about a third, and I paid about a third. That remained in place, without a big deal being made about grades. I think that daughter did better in Univ. than son - she was taken on after grad. as outreach person from the school to contact head people in the industry, to fine tune the univ. courses to the needs of the market. She proposed to her husband (of about 5 years) and put more into buying their home than he ... and they lost money on selling it, I think. She recently bought another ... and kept her name throughout her years. She's been more productive during her working years, it seems to me. Son had some rather big ideas, earlier, but found that champagne tastes didn't jibe too well with beer pocketbook, so has reduced his wants some. He returned to his Mom's home to live for a period - a year or two? a few years ago, but has had his own apt. for several years, since. He's an entertainer, and works mainly in summer, but earlier scraped through during winter. When their Mom suffered from cancer for most of a year, she chose daughter (resident in Canada at the time) as executor of her estate. His Mom chose to leave him some assets directly following her death ... but set up a trust fund for him ... that'll run out, I think, about the time that he might normally retire ... and he has next to no pension credits being built up. I (and I think others, apart from his Mom) have suggested that he find other work to supplement the rather insubstantial and seasonal income which he has ... but he has, let's say, resisted those suggestions. He's developed some great plans for some self-employed systems ... but short on the implementation. He hasn't had a car for years, nor a licence for some time (related to a physical limitation, I think, but he's working on getting that retreaded). I have enabled him by driving him to various distant entertainment projects, for which he has paid compensation ... but a carnie friend that he's developed does that, as well, and he pays better ... but son figures that "he's not family" ... and I have made it clear to son that he should compensate fairly, to give him an idea of actual costs related to carrying on one's life/business: can't expect anything like a free ride (when he finished Univ,. over 20 years ago). There has been some discussion of "picking up one's own marbles" on occasion. He hasn't shown much interest in girls (guys, either, as far as I know), but ... ... has recently found a widow with about three kids in whom he has shown some interest. Her daughter and friend, with child, recently returned to Mom's home ... and daughter lets friend care for child, while she goes out. Son has been finding this rather frustrating ... as it bugs Mom ... and her frustration bugs him ... and daughter figures it's none of his business ... but Mom says it is, as when she gets antsy, it carries over into her (recently established) relationship with son. Join the real world, son! That's about enough I think. ole joyful

That's a sweet keepsake, Justretired, but as I said I've done lots for her as a new mother. I have not marked her graduation from college. It is important to me that in addition to all that i/we have done for her as a new mother (and new adult, for that matter), that I mark her personal achievements in graduating college (and in fact, finishing early). Fun2B, I may end up taking her shopping but I will also try to think of a keepsake as well. I remember only a few gifts when I graduated -- but then I was going right on to grad school so most of the gifts were money. I did check with my sister, thanks for noting that a commitment often comes with logo gifts, Allison! Sister told me a note was perfect and there was no need to gift her-- "but in case you don't listen to me, she has x, y and z" lol Still working on gift ideas for the other grad-- but that will be relatively easy when I can focus. Thank you all for your ideas and thoughts!