Did you ever put yourself in a scary position?
7 years ago
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- 7 years agolast modified: 7 years ago
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Do you ever beat yourself up?
Comments (14)Yes, of course. We have all made mistakes and regretted them, and spent some time beating ourselves up and feeling awful about it. Thank heavens most of our mistakes don't result in horrible consequences, and it doesn't sound like yours did. Golddust gave you good advice in that there are mourning periods for everything. The amount of time we mourn loss, or feel angry with ourselves is really determined by us. So figure what is a reasonable time, get into it and do a great job, and then knock it off and go on with life. Prolonged beating ourselves up generally results in our making more errors. If we're to do better in the future, we are helped by having confidence in ourselves. The pushy guy should be pretty easy to handle. Behavior that is reinforced tends to increase. When he is saying things you like and behaving as you want, hang on his every word as if he's the most fascinating person you ever met. Lean forward and look in his eyes when he's talking. Laugh at his jokes, smile a lot, wave off anyone who tries to interrupt him, do considerate things for him, offer him a homemade cookie, offer to get him a coffee when you get yours, etc. This is the most important part. Behavior that is neither rewarded nor punished tends to extinguish. When he is saying things or behaving in ways you don't like, pick lint off your clothes, yawn, sneeze, blow your nose, look at your watch, drop things and pick up things off the floor, polish your shoes, file your nails, stare out the window, daydream, pick at your cuticles, interrupt him mid-sentence to go to the can, remember suddenly that you have to talk to someone down the hall or upstairs, say you need to make a phone call and you'll get back with him -- in short, withdraw all your attention from him immeciately. If it's on the phone, say you have to hang up and you'll phone him back later. Boom, he loses your attention any time he's a butthead. Be subtle about this, not obvious. Vary how you do it. Don't confront him. Don't insist on anything. Don't "have a talk with him." Just be nice when he's nice and be "drifty" or disappear when he's not nice. If he points out you're not listening, say "Huh? Oh. Sorry. What were you saying?" Then as he launches into his garbage, you get drifty again. I promise you that if you do this consistently, it will just be a matter of days before you'll notice he's treating you better and better and acting like a jerk far less often, and eventually maybe never. Do the same thing with everyone you know. Works like a charm. My mom used to nag me on the phone all the time about just garbage. I mean, no I wasn't going to cut my hair because she said I should when I'm in my 50's, ok? So I started doing this to her. Mostly I'd say I had a pot boiling over, or an appointment I had to rush off to, or someone at the door and could I call her back? And boom, I was gone. When she was being nice I treated her like a goddess. Well ya know what? It took a few phone calls spread over a few weeks, but she stopped nagging me and we started having much more fun on the phone together. Forever. I've seen a lot of people improve a lot of relationships this way -- with their employers, their kids, their parents, spouses, exes, friends and relatives. Let me know how it works for you, please....See MoreCurb shoppers...what did you kick yourself for NOT picking up?
Comments (12)A neighbors REAL brass floor lamp...the heavy kind. I walked pass it twice on my morning jaunt. Even discussed it with my walking partner who said I should take it. That afternoon, I took the car back to pick it up, and it was gone. ;( We bought a house, did some renovations, included installing some very nice, brand new, sage green carpeting in the upstairs bedrooms. The next year, we decided to sell. A few days after moving, I drove by our old house and there was all that new carpeting on the street curb! I was so shocked, it didn't occur to me to try to pick it up. What I have rescued: A white picket fence. Yes, you read that correctly. I picked up a pile of white pickets that someone had taken down from their yard. Took it back home and reassembles in my yard. I even made a matching gate. A very large painted Santa Claus Gourd. Really cute, too! Moving boxes. Found a china tea kettle in one, but took it back to the neighbor. In another box, I found my neighbor and friends decoupage wedding plaque....See MoreDo you ever just let yourself off the hook?
Comments (19)WOW thanks so much! I must say something you all may laugh at but here goes. I have not been feeling well (with a bad cough) this past Sunday my daughter found 5 black swallowtails in their first instar stage. At that time we still had 2 crysalis in the aquarium to be hatched or whatever you call it you can till I am a newbie. Having to have to clean out the aquarium after only 3 caterpillars I told her I wasn't bringing in any more cats. The next morning I looked at the fennel that the 5 cats were on and only saw 2 after feeling a little better and one of the butterflys flew away I decided to clean the aquarium and bring in the lonely 2. Now I am sorry I didn't save all 5 of them. I can't image bringing in hundreds. I can't believe my daughter saw the 5 little itty bitty swallowtails; it was such a pleasure. I don't think I will ever see those tiny eggs. I think you have to have xray vision to spot them! You people are amazing and it has been a great time watching the few that we have had this year. Your all great at what you do! Just a reminder ......keep up the great work .......but yes give yourself a break and don't feel bad at all! GREAT JOB!...See MoreHave you ever told yourself.. "I'm not buying any more Adeniums."
Comments (18)Rick, The last 4 are Tracy's trees. The others I got from a collector in Florida. The pool just has regular screen around it but it blocks out about 50% of the sun. Which is a good thing in Florida. You can tell the difference as soon as you walk outside the screen on the concrete pad. Todd, The babies are in leftover gritty (poultry grit, Turface, Pine Bark Fines) mix that I already had made up with pea gravel on the top. The last 4 are in a mix of GS2, Course Perlite or Pumice, Fir Bark or Coco Chips. I think the BigF is my favorite....See More- 7 years ago
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