It looks as though you, or whoever drew the plan, mostly followed/paralleled the track of the Comcast, and maybe phone lines, (are the electric wires in front, or is it also in the back? If in front, does it run along the driveway into the garage?) as you decided where your SW bed was going to go - very clever. It would seem as though the planned spot for the oak (which I assume is replacing the HL next to the patio, since you didn't say) will be far enough from the lines not to have a problem. One thing you might definitely do, ASAP, is call both the power, phone and Comcast people and have someone come and mark where the lines run, unless the marks are still visible. That way, your memory maybe being off by a foot or three, there will be no nasty surprises. They'll do it for free - it's usually a "call-before-you-dig program", or some such name - since it saves mightily on their repair time! Digging the holes ahead of delivery is not a bad idea, although the crew coming to plant may have to do more work on them. YOu don't have to do it, esp. if you are paying for the job and not for the hour. If all they are doing is delivering, then having the holes, and having them deliver the trees next to the holes would be good. It wouldn't hurt, if the man (or woman) power is available, to place the plants in their planned spots, and take a few minutes to look at them from several angles, including inside and upstairs. You may see some minor tweaking that you can do, even at that stage. It's a LOT easier to re-dig a hole than to try to move a tree, or to kick yourself for the next umpty-ump years about how that tree would have been better over there, just a bit. A future tree near the play area/structure is an excellent idea. I am not sure a Sycamore is the best bet, as they can get very large, can be messy, and, if a friend's experience is common, can cause allergies in some people. If you do decide you want to put a tree there, start another thread, as this one is covering enough topics, and confusing readers enough, already!

Dear ccbay, I can relate to the picture thing. My DH would never put up a picture of the ex who left him for another man. However SS would. Yes, shortly after DH and I purchased our home together SS who lived with us(who was 17 y.o. at the time)came with a large high school graduation picture of bio mom. This had just been given to him by bio mom. SS displayed the picture near the main door of his bedroom for everyone to see as they walked by. DH's Mom (SS grandmother) and family came to visit and questioned why it was up. I just shrugged and said SS brought it and left it at that. The next time DH's Mom (my dear mother-in-law) came to visit she gave me DH large graduation picture and baby picture, which I display near the main door in my bedroom for all to see. I guess it is better to say nothing and pray that if one turns the other check only good things can happen to that person and others will see the real truth. I would be hurt by what your DH is doing. I know I was hurt by my SS actions, but then realized that bio mom had something to do with it. Also, SS was having mix emotions as stepkids do. Hang it there and talk with your DH on what your needs our, realize he is have some emotional problems, and say many prays. That is what I do. Good luck, louisedawn

Ok so I agree it's a bit of an unclear story that is posted by OP. Just some things don't make sense. BM sounds like a piece of work, and I can relate to that because the BM in our situation is of a similar kind. You wonder why BM is so angry with you and if you are in danger. You probably think that she has no reason to be so angry with you, after all you look after these kids much better than she does and BM should be happy that you are a nice person etc etc. But that is not going to happen, EVER. It's how Iamom said it: "BM probably seriously resents the level of your involvement and it may be driving some of her behavior." The more you get involved, the worse it will get I reckon. It doesn't sound like BM is planning to actually physically harm you, even though her behaviour is erratic. As for not getting custody even though BM drinks, neglects kids, takes drugs etc.. I would like to just share something of our own situation. Of course I don't know the whole story by OP, but I do know this: sometimes the whole system just DOES NOT WORK. In our case BM is an alcoholic,not drunk out of her mind every night but on a regular basis let's say. On those nights she either promises the kids ponies and plasma tv's for their rooms, or she has a bad one and gets abusive. Mainly verbally abusive (screaming and carrying on into the early hours) but there have been incidents where she got physical, although that's usually with the partner, not the kids. When BM and FDH had just split up she attacked him in his sleep once. he went to the police the next day and filed a report. The after effects from drinking are that BM stays in bed all day next day and kids don't go to school. They have to look after themselves and in our book that is neglect; not feeding kids breakfast, lunch or tea. SD12 burned her hand two years ago when she was cooking dinner because BM was still in bed. Anyway, drifting... Back to the system; FDH has kept a diary for 3 years There are police reports on BM's outbursts FDH involved CPS, but they assessed kids as being not in danger after they gave BM a phonecall..?? School has been involved (but principal sticks head in the sand) So then FDH contacted the school inspectors, who said to have faith in the school and to leave it to the principal; passing the buck back.. and finally we did try to get shared care in the courts after BM kept breaching the court order (by keeping the kids away from FDH when it was his time to have them) No shared care for us and the stuffing around by BM is only getting worse now. So there we are, back to square one. And yes; it is strange to me too that the courts will not acknowledge BM's alcohol related problems. They just did not want to have a bar of it. Of course we did not have backup from CPS which could've helped the case. You might think that I'm not telling the whole story because it sounds ridiculous, but that is exactly what it is. RIDICULOUS. FDH and myself are in a long term relationship; we own our own home, FDH changed jobs to suit the school hours for the kids so he could look after them (no new girlfriend here pushing the FDH for custody, only a willig and loving dad trying to look after his girls himself) We did not even try to get full custody, we did not want to take drastic actions and take the kids away from their mum. A psychologist advised us to consider shared care, so the kids get the brake from the chaotic lifestyle at BM and have a bit more time with their dad. But noooo, no shared care for FDH, not going to happen!! The only thing we get out of this; is knowing that we have tried to help these girls, as much as we can, so now we focus on the time when they are with us. And that would be my advice to OP; don't take over the mum-role in your household it is not going to work. In a perfect step-world you could be that and it would be an extra for the girls; but in this emotional roller coaster you do better to back off. I mean also when it comes to the parent meetings etc at the school. I wanted to do all those things too when I got together with my FDH, and the girls liked my involvement and even asked for it. For them it was exciting to have a 'mother-figure' interested in their activities, but I tell you I still learned that it is better to back off a bit. Show an interest in the things they do when they are with you, spend time with them etc etc, but the parental responsibilities stay with the parents, not you. It's ahard thing to do, but it is better for your skids. If BM feels that threatened by you she will keep fighting like a lion and that is what hurts the kids. It might feel annoying that you have to back off while you want to do the right thing by the kids; but try it. The kids will see you for who you are anyway, as a loving and caring person who is there for them. They really will. And don't see it as a defeat, you are really taking control here, making this decision and hopefully affecting BM's behaviour in a positive way. The bigger picture!!

Nicole I can well imagine the anxiety that those parents are feeling.I will keep them in my prayers, but as was stated before, they perform miracles with medicine these days. That being said it would be so much better for the babies if they can just hold on for a week more. My daughter had twins just 2 years ago November a boy and a girl. She delivered two weeks before her due date. They are just the best !! Have you posted any new pics of your little one recently? We love baby pics. Merry Christmas to you and your beautiful family. June