I am in the middle of planning my kitchen. I will have both soapstone and an endgrain butcher block on one the the smaller separate counters. I did this because I know my family and they will not be able to resist the temptation to cut on the counter. Doing the butcher block will give them an area to make sandwiches and snacks .

I'm almost finished with a kitchen remodel due to a water leak. I got new cabinets and appliances, the granite was reused. I didn't care whether or not I kept the same backsplash but the insurance said it wasn't necessary to have it replaced. So when they installed my new cabinets, to make them level, they were running higher (above the bottom of the lowest tile) so they took off the lowest row of tile. They explained that once the granite was reinstalled, it wouldn't look right to put something back in that area because you'd see how it runs uphill (or downhill) so we tore off the entire backsplash. I just had the cheap white 3"x6" subway tile from lowes, and I like it so that's what I'm having done again. But I'm soooooo glad that we tore it all out and re-tiling the backsplash. It will look so much better. It's getting done tomorrow. I personally would rather have the backsplash redone than to go with the 3" piece. JMHO BTW the insurance paid for a new backsplash since the granite couldn't be installed exactly where it was before and I got $1100.00 for a $300 backsplash :)

Can I just say this post scares the crap out of me? I am scared I will be you in 3 years and that while now I'm craving authenticity/patina for our 1913 house it will just look, as you say, "banged up." (We've got barocca slabs on hold-also soft-and I keep wavering whether this is the right decision...) What concerns me is what macybaby alluded to--that there are different parts of the soapstone (veins/deposits/inclusions) that are not of uniform strength. I can scratch the bulk of our soapstone with my fingernail, but the veins are much harder cannot be scratched with a fingernail. It seems to me that me just sanding away at them would leave the veins standing proud of the rest of the material. What kaseki referenced above-that it is hard to sand the hard soapstones-makes sense. I'd think only those with the soft stones are the ones feeling they need to sand out the big dents/scratches, cause folks with the harder soapstones are getting them as much or at all (depending on the variety)

Thanks for all the replies to my post! Sorry that I was rude and didn't post any follow-up as the thread continued to grow! We went to Teixeira in San Francisco and chose some gorgeous slabs of Barocca soapstone. This is a softer soapstone than I have in my current house, but even when wet or oiled, it will go to a medium grey, not a black. On top of that, the representative said they sell a dry wax product that can maintain it in any state of grey between the raw unoiled look toward the oiled look. He didn't show me the product, and I don't know how it's applied, but he showed us some stone in a countertop display that supposedly had been treated with it (still grey color after years). We will be finished with the new home remodel soon, and I can't wait. I'm sure the barocca will be softer and more easily dinged, but my dark soapstone really has nearly no marks on it after 6 years of use. I'm not afraid of a patina in the new kitchen- it will work fine. Regarding Pietra- great to hear that it is not necessarily as tricky as I have heard. I think it is gorgeous stone- and yes, it's "cleaner" looking- than soapstone. It's sort of a step toward granite that way. I prefer the veins I've seen in soapstones. I like the patterning I've seen in pietra, but it seems to me that it mostly is swirls of inclusions, almost as if it represents settling patterns in rock formation. It gives a more uniform and homogeneous look than the veins I've seen in soapstone. Not sure if all Pietra has this type of patterning and lack of veins. A final note on marks in soapstone: I have almost no marks in mine as I said above. The new house has mirror-finish Caesar stone counters in dark brown (that will be replaced). When unpacking groceries, my husband dropped a bottle of beer on the counter. Caught it just as it fell right side up. The bottle did not break, but there is a mark on the counter that matches the little stripes from the bottom edge of the bottle. It is really noticeable and will always be there (until we rip it out!!). On soapstone, it would fade in right away and would not be noticed at all. Just saying.