Me too! And even survived a look at death square in the eyes. I have bravado. Most of the time ;)

I think it's just my nature to be a fighter. I was born rebellious. I survived some pretty harrowing experiences in my youth and I really believe that what doesn't kill you really does make you stronger. Of course the caveat is that one has to make the choice to be a survivor and not a victim when things go wrong.

I think it's more difficult for people who are emotional thinkers than more pragmatic people. I do have emotional episodes, even meltdowns since I am human, but when they are over they are over and I tell myself it's time to take action if that is appropriate and not simply rely on reaction.

My current username is watchme for a reason. When I am challenged with you can't, shouldn't, wouldn't do that my reply is watch me. It doesn't mean I am fearless. It means that I believe courage is doing the things that scare you most or are difficult, not simply sticking to doing the things that come easy.

For me, it's not fear. I don't really find anything doable frightening. Yes, I guess I could be afraid of fires, car crashes, crime etc.

I am curious what you find frightening and yet you can jump in or chip away at it?

For me, I have to work on "worry." I worry way too much. I have to stop myself and talk myself down. My worries around my two DD's, my Dh and other family members.

Part of fear is being afraid which gives the fear more power and become more frightening. So feel the fear, accept it, and it will dissipate. As you try to resist the fear, it only becomes more powerful.

Think about what the worst that could happen, and if it's not so bad, then your fears are unfounded.

Someone in these threads...sorry I don't remember the author...posted this and I just loved it: I am confident because I know success is not guaranteed and failure is not fatal.

And I wanted to share something that happened at my house in 2014:

This morning a poor little nuthatch got caught between the snow and the glass railing on our deck. He wasn't really trapped, but he'd try to fly out and the glass would stop him and he'd quit trying and just sit there. So I went out to help...my presence scared him enough that he tried to fly even higher. I reached out and put my fingers under him and lifted him up as he flew. He finally cleared the railing and was free.

Sometimes being frightened is a good thing...sometimes our fears can save us and set us free.

watch me, anyone telling me I can't... just puts me in the prove it mode... and I prove, that I can. ;)

Could not agree more with watchme.

Here's another piece about fear I wrote in 2013:

Fear is not fact.

Reading an article about a young woman who has a rare and untreatable cancer and what she's learned about life by coping with her illness. One of her points is that fear is not fact. We can create monsters in our mind that can paralyze us from taking action we should or force us into taking actions we shouldn't, all out of fear. But fear is not reality. Instead by facing into our fears and peeling them away to get to the actual facts, we can whittle them down to size and make appropriate decisions, take appropriate action, and reduce our stress and anxiety levels.

Fear is not fact.

Great question. The older I get, the less fear I have because much of the fear I had when I was younger was attributable to what I believed other people would think of me. And I realize that people really don't think as much of me as I think they do, so what am I afraid of?

I've always been rather risk-averse but having children who go out into the world, who I want to be brave and try new things and not be hesitant to experience life... I have to walk the walk.

I do have a fear of riding horses and ferris wheels, and don't have a need to overcome those fears. I think my life will be fine if I don't.

Funny, feathers, as I've gotten older, I've become more fearful as my imagination of what can go wrong seems far more active. I guess it's because I've experienced so much of what can go wrong that it's all more real for me.

I think some comments are mixing up different feelings/emotions. A dictionary definition of fear is to be afraid of something that may be dangerous, threatening, or cause pain. Unease about a very risky obstacle or challenge, often new and often in circumstances that are out of the person's control

Being able to muster personal motivation, anxiety-free focus, or developing a "no failure" attitude about something that's never been done before, necessary or unavoidable or unpleasant, difficult, new, or risky, I think are mind states that are very different from fear. There can be a fear of failure or fear of consequences from these kind of things but still, I think these are different.

ok. now that you've corrected us all, what's your contribution?

I tend to overthink things. It's like I talk myself into being afraid. I find the less I think about something - the braver I am.

Too bad you always seem to need to be belligerent. That was my contribution.

If you're looking for personal reflection, I'll share this. I'm confident and I don't fear things. I'm not fearless, but using fear in the proper sense (my first paragraph), I don't dwell or agonize over anything. If there's something that has to be done, unavoidable, with adverse consequences in a true fear sense if not done and/or risky in any event, I use the Nike philosophy of suck it up and Just Do It. These are "no choice" matters for me. When something is optional and I sense a high likelihood of discomfort or risk (imminent physical danger usually), I'll take a pass. No, I don't want to go up to the roof of the two story building, let's hire someone to do it. Etc.

Other challenges that are unpleasant in other ways or put off, risky, embarrassing, new, awkward, upsetting - same approach. I'm stoic. If it needs to be done, it needs to be done. I do it, get it over with, move on. If it doesn't need to be done, fine, that's a resolution, it's off the list and I move on.

I analyze possibilities in a finite way but I don't dwell or agonize over "what ifs". It's on the list or off the list. If it's on the list, it needs to get done. Do it, move on.

I don't prefer your first sentence.

Thank you for sharing the rest!

Re: Elmer's definition - Now it depends on your definition or how you view "something that may be dangerous, threatening, or cause pain. Unease about a very risky obstacle or challenge," and we all view those dangerous and threatening situations differently.

I do a lot of trail running and although I run downhill through rocks and roots on single track trails fairly quickly, for me I view it as dangerous and it scares the he!! out of me. My partners fly down them without blinking an eye as I bring up the rear. In this case, I do take comfort in knowing that there are parts of trail running that I can do better.

And perhaps that's where you can get strength from - is remembering what can you do well, what hurdles have you gotten over in the past as many have mentioned.

My parents had four daughters and our dad was our biggest champion (our mom not so much) and he never hinted that just because we're girls that there are certain things we can't or shouldn't do and perhaps that helped.

However my biggest fear is something happening to my boys. I realize that their adventurous sports are out of my control and I can only hope that we have taught them the value of safety and making smart decisions,

As blfenton describes so well, fear is very personal. What captures too much individual mindshare or is distressing/worrisome varies considerably from person to person.

For me fear is the bridge between the known and the unknown. I don't know it so therefore I fear it in general.

I've made myself know about heights it doesn't mean that I still don't have the fear of heights reaction but I know I will get through it and I will get used to the fear of heights reaction. I figure in another 20 years I'll be able to walk across that bridge without going deathly pale and having a million people stop me and ask me if I am okay :-). I've been challenging myself on this fear since my early twenties. . it does get better but extremely slowly.

I'll climb a 30' ladder and work from it but I can't drive across the Ambassador Bridge to Canada without having a panic attack. I use the tunnel below millions of gallons of water and it doesn't affect my emotions.

There's also a bridge in Toledo, Ohio that I can't even drive near without feeling faint and sick. The Skyway bridge spans 8,000' and is 400' high. No way!

One thing I admire about my daughter is that she is pretty fearless, I don't know where she got that from, certainly not me.

Greetings Michael,

Think of the million cars that have gone over those bridges without incident ... and why should your experience be different?

Which ... I'm sure you've told yourself ... a million(?) times.

ole joyful

"I'll climb a 30' ladder and work from it but I can't drive across the Ambassador Bridge to Canada without having a panic attack."

That's what I'd call a debilitating fear of Canadians! Panic attack inducing, indeed!

I pray. : )

Good one. I like it share!

I grew up as a very fearful child, due to my older parents (father was almost 42 when I was born) and being an "only". I was VERY precious to them and they would have preferred to have put me under a glass bell on the mantle. It did not serve me well. I still have a degree of fear of the water to this day.

In the end, my "fight" personality won out and when I fear something, I sort of take the old "pull the band off all at once really fast" method. I just do it. It does work.

Some fears (snakes) are non-negotiable, but usually I do the "what's the worst that can happen" route and just go for it after thinking it through.

I used to take Librium when I experienced anxiety, but I don't need it so much any more, and I've been told that there are better medications for anxiety and panic attacks now.

When we took a horse ride in Costa Rica, my horse got spooked by a buzzard (or some large black bird than flew down at it) and the horse reared up so high that I fell off of the back of the horse, despite holding onto the saddle at tightly as I could. I landed in muddy grass and so I did not get hurt that badly, but I did get bruised. We also went zip-lining, and that did not scare me at all.

I have fears of going through dangerous city neighborhoods (especially on public transportation), and so I take a book to read while I'm doing it - or at least when I used to do it. The subway in Mexico City could be very scary, and certain city buses in San Francisco were not that safe. I've been mugged in SF three times (twice on buses).

I love the suspension bridges in North Vancouver, especially the one at Lynn Canyon.

That is so beautiful Lars. See I don't like ( truly fear) open heights but I could do that bridge because there is the chain fencing. It is absolutely gorgeous. I also want to zip line. I have no fear of the zip line part since I know you are securely harnessed. The part that troubles me is standing at the edge of the tall platform before launching.

I can walk over any bridge, even the New River Gorge bridge in WV. Crossing on foot is easy for me and being a car passenger is okay, but not entirely free of anxiety.

I'm comfortable on a cruise ship or river boat, but when kayaking I navigate streams less than 5' deep. I verify depth on the map and use a depth indicator while cruising.

I've explained this to my doctor and according to him many of his same age patients have the same complaint. No medical concern or cure.

Thanks for the video Lars. That is the bridge that I cross every year to face my fears.