Yes, but it was a bag of potato chips instead of a can of corn :-) Everyone else would go to the effort to make something to share at the potlucks (although some did purchase desserts to share) but this one guy - a big man and an eager and enthusiastic eater - always brought just a bag of chips.

My husband thought until I stopped him after we were married that the idea that it was fine for an unmarried guy to simply bring chips or pop to a potluck. While I know chips can be expensive when he took pop it was always the cheapest kind in the big bottles. Someone had told him that it was fine since "unmarried men" did not cook. Which was strange because he cooked every day. Did not know how to use herbs and spices but at least he cooked.

I knew that bag of chips guy.

Thing is not that they bring some mingy little thing but they are always the ones who load up their plates with all the best offerings and stuff themselves. Always first in line. I don't mind the poor young things of course.

Some people are cheap. Others are socially clueless. Some don't see or care that their conduct is obviously out of step with what others are doing. Some have all three problems.

We had someone who brought an opened bag of chips. Yuck.

Yep, we had that guy only he was the show up empty handed, first one in line, went back for seconds and packed up four plates of food to take home to his family for dinner that night guy.

The answer to the chips guy was my wife's older (and fairly well off I was always told) aunt who would always bring one of the small tins of Frito's Bean Dip to family gatherings and potlucks. No chips mind you, just the one little bitty can of bean dip put down in the midst of other's offerings, the usual tub(s) of fried chicken from the non cookers, various veggie dishes and desserts, etc. It got to be a family joke where someone would always ask "wonder what (aunt) is bringing" and everyone else would break out in smiles and laughter.

How is it that no stops these people. "Hey, this food is for those who are here now to enjoy!"

Or "Everyone needs to start with one portion first so there is enough to go around."

I think a lot of people are just clueless and think their minor contributions are appropriate. I imagine the thought process is that there's always tons of food so they figure even more isn't needed. Though bringing a can of corn and no way to open it is beyond clueless.

The money contribution is a great idea! I know quite a few people who would be relieved to contribute $5 over bringing something. It puts more pressure on the cooks but then there's people like me who always bring enough for tons of people so getting some money back would be appreciated.

We had people from other departments come by, make a plate for themselves and bring back 3 or 4 plates for their department. One time I brought a jar of those "huge/over sized" stuffed green olives(as part of my relish plate)....one guy ate them ALL!

I admit, I have been too busy to cook and brought a can of pickled jalapenos for a taco bar.....about .69cents.....but I brought home made choc-chip cookies ALL the time during the week when there was no pot luck. People understood.

There was one single guy in our department and his contribution was always an assortment from a French bakery. He had to go way out of his way to get there--- I always think of him and his classy move when I pass that particular store.

Some people have just never learned - or been taught - the appropriate behavior for various social occasions. If invited to or part of a potluck gathering, you bring a dish that is intended to feed the masses....or at least a good portion of the masses :-) And you don't fill your plate like you haven't eaten for a week - just a normal portion size or somewhat smaller, as there is typically so many dishes to choose from. And you never eat all of anything, no matter how much you like it.....you are not the only one being fed!!

I'm not sure that any adult that has these cheap and greedy tendencies can be retrained easily. Usually even very blunt comments about their behavior falls on deaf ears. And you can't not invite another co-worker just because they have these issues. However, folks coming in from another department that was not involved in the potluck should be told in no uncertain terms that unless they contributed to the meal, they were not entitiled to partake of it!! That is just wrong on so many levels!!

Ours was the "plain bowl of red jello girl" .An in law that was young and clueless, but still it never changed.

Yes, I have met the can of corn and the bag of chips guy. They come in both sexes by the way ;0)

My family dinner or potluck problem is a woman who has obviously stopped at a store on her way to the event, shows up with grocery bags of unwashed greens and vegetables, dressing ingredients and announces, 'I'll make the salad'. In the middle of a crowded busy kitchen, asking for cutting boards, knives, a wisk - right as we are trying to get hot things and food displayed for plating to begin. Sigh. Please bring a dish ready, or bring at least the ingredients ready and your dressing already made to quickly toss together. In your own bowl that you've thoughtfully packed too.

SushiPup, I used to work with a guy who was worse than your open-bag-of-chips coworker.

One group with whom I worked used to love having potlucks, and we had them often. They always had a theme to them, and foods brought to the potluck were to somehow go with the theme. There was always a sign-up sheet where folks would indicate what they were going to bring. If people didn't want to participate (neither bringing food nor eating the assembled potluck), it was ok. One of the single male coworkers was notorious for never bringing anything, yet always loading up a huge plate of food. Then one time the potluck theme was "sandwiches." This guy signed up to bring condiments. Okay, it's a start.

Well, the day of the potluck, he showed up with a jar of mayonnaise and a squeeze jar of French's mustard. BOTH obviously were pulled out of his fridge that morning as both were opened and about half used. Needless to say, there was only one person who used his condiments.

I've got one that somewhat related. It's not a potluck situation though. We have a fridge in our office that is shared by 5 people. All of us put stuff in it. There is one coworker who helps himself to it,and reasons that once its in there its community property. I dont mind people using my condiments or grabbing one of my string cheese or something. That's no big deal. But he takes it too far. Especially with drinks. He never brings his own and acts like he is incapable of stepping outside to the Pepsi machine to buy his own. The machine is literally right outside, like 2 steps from the door. He used to drink our last bosses diet pepsis. Just go in there and drink em, and he knew he didnt buy them. Thing is, she was a saint and told him, " Hey,at least take some out of the case I bring and put them in the fridge so that I will have cold ones when I get here in the morning."He wouldn't even do that!

This guy has some nerve. I had some of the new feisty cherry diet cokes in the fridge. He called me on my off day at 1 am to say to me, "Hey, those cherry things are nasty" and here's the kicker, he said, "WHY DID YOU BUY THOSE?!?!?" Well, that was it, I told him that he was the TACKIEST SOB that I have ever encountered, and that if he so much as looked at any of my drinks or food again i was gonna kick his @$$. He acted like he NEVER took anyone elses stuff, and that he just wanted to TRY them,yadda yadda yadda. Then he tried to place blame for missing food on our newest coworker. Poor thing has an eating issue, to the point that her weight loss surgery is failing. That was despicable to me. I told him that unless she had some sort if invisibility cloak and had been sneaking into our fridge for the 8 years or so before she was hired,that was bs. Then I repeated my threat, and hung up on him.

Next day,I get an email from our new boss. It was basically a copy of the email the drink weasel had sent him complaining about my threat and his reply to it. Drink weasel whined that he was an old man and that he doesn't always remember whether or not HE brought something or not,so he didnt KNOW that he was stealing(BS). He also said that as he was old enough to be my granddaddy, i was suppossed to respect him no matter what. (More BS). I guess that means letting him steal my stuff????It made me giggle. My boss had told him that at least i gave him a warning and a choice. He told him to grow up, stop pilfering and bring his own stuff. Then he sent an email to all of us declaring that no one was to take anyone elses stuff, and we were all to mark our stuff with out initials so that there would be no confusion. It was ridiculous. We are ADULTS. This should not be a thing that needs to be declared!!!!! This man is in his 70s. Old enough to know better, and still young enough to know that what he is pilfering is something he did not bring especially as he called me to complain about the selection......wth??????

P.S. The pilfering hasn't stopped. He just stopped taking MY stuff....

There's something fundamentally "off" in the psyches of people who do this. Narcissism, entitlement, something... Even if they're just clueless, there is something missing in the thought process of someone who takes without giving. I know a few people like this in my life, and they're generally not pleasant to be around anyway.

Eld, I think there are various reasons these people get away with their boorish behavior. Speaking strictly of a work environment, sometimes they are the higher ups, or even the boss. You know, the ones who make ten times more than the staffers, contribute nothing, yet feel they are entitled to be at the head of the line when its time to eat. Who is going to tell the boss that they aren't allowed to eat?

In other cases, they have been told, but they don't care and do it anyway. Others are freeloaders who will wait until no one is around before sneaking food out to take home. At my my past work places, we used to wait until everyone was done eating and immediately pack our food just to prevent the mooches from mooching. A bit petty? Perhaps, but it solved the problem of freeloaders taking our food home for dinner.

Seen it all. Now that I'm retired, I'm glad I don't usually have to deal with this any longer. And then I did (last week). It was usually the 'bag of ice' guy, the 'can of whatever' guy, the 'I picked up the deli potato salad' (that no one will eat) gal, or any of those that never brought or contributed anything, monetary or otherwise. We understood if someone had been on travel or whatever and couldn't. Just come and eat. Most of the time everyone did bring a homemade dish except for those too cheap, lazy, or clueless (or all of the above) to do the right thing. We have also had people who couldn't/didn't want to bring food contribute to the main meat dish. That worked best of all.

We were a small group that worked in a closed area, so it pretty much kept outsiders out but sometimes word would get out and we would have a 'visitor' who would just invite themselves in at just the right time. Never failed.

Last week at our major fundraiser, which is a plant sale that goes on for several days, food was provided for the volunteers. There was a donation box. Several of us contributed ahead of time to the food fund. We had pizzas done day (donated), barbecue another (also donated) with sides made by the folks that put this on, casseroles and salads another (homemade) another, something different every day. I found out later a few people were taking to-go plates to their 'home sick' spouses! Our chair put a stop to that when she found out they were running out of food too early. She told the ladies to tell them no carry-out until 2:30 after everyone had a chance to eat. If there were any leftovers at that time, they could fix a plate.

Not exactly the same but I remember being at a brunch after my niece’s wedding when I was slicing some cake to put in a platter for the guests. Some cousin stood there as I sliced and ate each slice as I put it out! I finally had to say it was meant to feed everyone and there wasnt going to be enough to go around. Guy was such a boor, really a dimwit — from the other side of the family, of course! This is the same side of the family that when my BIL takes them out for dinner once a year, they ordered TWO dinners each and took one home. This was probably ten people. After that that, my BIL said he would pay half the bill and the rest of the family could divvy up the rest. No one ordered extra after that. I really wonder where that branch of his family came from.

" This is the same side of the family that when my BIL takes them out for dinner once a year, they ordered TWO dinners each and took one home. This was probably ten people. "

That's a "one strike and you're out" offense. Had I encountered that, that would have been the last dinner invitation. No ifs, ands or buts.

There are moochers and there are clueless people and their antics aren't limited to these specific situations.

This might surprise some of you who think of me as a cuddly, Teddy Bear-like pushover but when someone's behavior is blatantly out of step, I speak up about it. To their face. I may have been a tad more patient and tolerant when I was younger but I don't think so. I'm generous and it's satisfying to me to see other people acting in the same way. I don't necessarily expect everyone to be generous but I don't tolerate anyone being selfish.

We bring food for a "party" to my pulmonary rehab several times a year. Thursday was our "Easter Party". Everyone brings something - some is homemade, some is store-bought. This was the first time I stopped at a local, much beloved bakery, and bought a coffee cake to bring. In the past, I always backed something. I just wasn't up to it this time.

But there are always a few people who bring nothing, eat like they haven't been fed in a month, and then take home a big plate of food as well. We just let it go - it's too small a group to have "disagreements" in and we all have our physical limitations due to our pulmonary problems. It's hard to know if they can't afford to buy something to bring, but at least one drives a lovely old Jaguar so I think he could have managed a $9 coffee cake.

There are socially inept folks that don't carry their weight. There are also a surprising number of people who don't have enough to eat. I read an article in the NYT about a year back, hunger exists in more socioeconomic levels that one would think, and sometimes the homeless and hungry cannot be identified just by looking at them. Perhaps one should not be so quick to shame those who eat a lot at gatherings if one does not know when that person's last meal was.

This thread reminds me of a long ago happening. I belonged to a women's group which met once a month. The hostess served dessert and coffee.

One woman told us we were to have a choice of three kinds of pie. When she served them I realized they were on sale at a local store at 3 for $1. They weren't very tasty.

Odd thing was that she seemingly was better off financially than the rest of us young wives.

Seniorgal, I have noticed that how better off the person is seems to have nothing to do with cheapness.

I assume that these people were very poor growing up. What I don't understand is how they think it s okay to so cheap with others. The aunt I mentioned above would give gifts that were obviously very old and some were used. My "favorite" was when she gave a half finished statue (you know the ones from those pottery classes) as a home warming gift. She wold give rusty jewelry to my DD's! I often wondered if it was her warped sense that these were adequate and appropriate or that she thought we were too stupid to know better.

I think it was Grainlady (remember her?) who said that there was a difference in being frugal and cheap. Frugal is keeping the heat low in your house and wearing a sweater, but cheap is making a guest come to your house and have to wear one.

I was reading some of these stories to DH because it reminded both of us of people at work. We had a go9d laugh.

I had forgotten about a guy in a previous job we used to call ‘Hungry Henry’. Often someone would bring in a cake for someone’s birthday or a box of pastries or doughnuts. Once our senior engineer, a female, brought in a lovely cake with a separate whipped cream frosting to add when she got to work and fresh strawberries to put on top. Well she put the cake down and got busy getting things together to begin her day and prepare to frost the cake. In those days we didn’t have a ‘kitchen’ at work but we had a small conference room where she had put the cake and things for the birthday celebration. When she came back in about 10 minutes later, Henry had cut himself a piece of the plain cake and she found him eating it in his office. She let him have it. Someone else caught him once with 4 doughnuts on a paper plate a few minutes after the box had been set down. He never had any shame.

You can't shame the shameless.

One of my best friends does not like to cook. She is not cheap, but she is lazy. Whenever she and her husband attend picnics or potlucks she typically takes either a watermelon ( that has not been cut up), purchased pies, or grocery store potato salad. But, what really irritates me is that she then complains that there were not any good homemade items....which she loves!

Hello.....maybe there are too many attendees like her!

Three pies for a buck, senior gal ... that was a LONG time ago, I figger!

ole joyful ... who loves, and supports, potlucks ... and takes stuff home only when invited to

Early on, when young, my sister would always jump quickly to volunteer to bring a bag of chips! My husband might be the can of corn guy at his office...but he and another always always chip in together for BBQ weenies or he tries to give money for the paper products. He can't let me know about these things before they are happening so no planning or cooking time is available. For awhile people where I work got fed up and put on the invites "no contributing no eating" as we had a few men who just appeared and didn't even bother with the can of corn offering. I am glad that passed as in the end there is always more than enough for everyone.

We have close friends who are the can of corn guy. She doesn't like to cook and almost seems to pride herself on doing the absolute bare minimum. For a BBQ potluck she'll bring a bag of Hershey's Miniatures for the dessert table. Or pride herself on dumping a large can of corn in the crock pot. These people are very well off, but at the same time they can be really cheap.

Several years ago my brother-in-law was having financial issues, and they would come to family dinners with a bowl of coleslaw. There were six in their family, including two teenage boys who ate like there was no tomorrow. So basically they brought six people with no contribution. I sort of understood but it was still annoying.

I would have thought that those who were more fortunate would have been glad to share. And if I knew there were financial issues and hungry teens, they would have gone home with all the leftovers.

I worked at one company with my daughter who worked there for a few years before I did. We had the Ritz Cracker guy. lol

Where I work now, we do potlucks. There is no "canned corn" or "ritz cracker" person. We have a list available a few days prior to the potluck so everyone know what everyone is bringing. Whether you cook, or buy a ready made tray from the grocery store, we don't care. But everyone pays something like $5 on top of the food (money goes to our stores charity of choice which is commonly a womens charity).

I am constantly amazed at just how cheap some people can be!!

Then there is the flipside to the potluck cluelessness. I was once approached by the host of a potluck event who phrased her request to me this way, "I don't know if you realize this, but the parties I throw are always very nice. I've signed you up to bring a cheese plate. If you could purchase it from - insert name of exceedingly expensive specialty cheese shop-, that would be great." So rude on so many levels. One of my co-workers suggested I show up in my pjs carrying a jar of Cheese Whiz and Ritz crackers.

I used to be in charge of organizing dinners at work, a higher education institution. At first I assigned by employee type (faculty, administration, support staff, etc) a specific food group - breads, veggies, dessert, casseroles, etc. This was always a problem because invariably many of our faculty members turned out to be too busy to fix something themselves and instead stopped at the local grocery to pick up a pint of store-made pea salad. Didn’t matter if it was a male or female faculty member.

(An editorial comment: the professor with grown children who might only teach 3 days a week is more busy than a single mother staffer with 3 kids in gradeschool who works 5 days a week? Really?)

I changed the food assignments to “those in a specific building” rather than “employee type.”

Oddly, my best food providers were always the lower-paid clerical staff members.

worker Helps himself at potluck dinners. Ok he is baching Until his family joins him. He then moves up to Gen Mgr and still doesn’t contribute to potluck dinner. Comes Xmas and store employees bring out GMs 3 honeybaked ham. Honey baked ham for potluck dinner.

We had a similar thing happen when entertaining in our home. It wasn't about people not bringing food, as we never have pot luck dinners, so don't expect anything. But when we first started hosting dinners, we noticed that one of our guests took a double portion, not just of the side dishes, but of the entree as well!

Frankly, taking more than one's 'share' of a side dish, isn't an exact science, and is no big deal to us. We serve a variety of side dishes, and 'Bill' never emptied any one dish. But when he actually took two portions of the entree at our dinner for eight, (8 distinct servings on the platter) we knew he couldn't count. This happened at our first 2 dinners, so DH had no entree, as he always makes sure he's the last one to serve himself. Since there were several accompanying dishes, salad and breads, it appeared to go unnoticed by our other guests, that DH had no entree on his plate. In order to avoid embarrassing Bill in front of everyone, DH decided he'd just broach the matter with our new friend, at our next gathering, which would be outdoors.

So just before DH and I called our guests to the patio table, DH asked Bill if he could help him bring a few last things outside. One was the platter of our entrees, which were ribs, cut into 8 portions of 6 ribs. DH handed the platter to Bill to carry, and laughed as he said something like "Man, I could eat that whole platter, but Sue would kill me if I ate anyone else's serving!" Bill just laughed as well, and didn't say anything. But although he was the third guest to take some ribs, he only took his own serving, and never again took more than one entry! So perhaps Bill's just one of those who aren't intentionally boorish, but just needed a polite etiquette lesson.

Reading about these people made my jaw drop .............

Elmer J Fudd

This might surprise some of you who think of me as a cuddly, Teddy Bear

What Elmer?? You mean you're not a cuddly Teddy Bear? I'm shocked.

:)

Someone above mentioned watermelon. Whole unsliced ones. Yes, that's another category. They come in and dump it on the nearest picnic table and walk away. They expect someone else to go rifling through utensil drawers looking for the biggest knife and slice it up and then that person becomes the watermelon serving station master as children are screaming for it.

Truth be told, I am a Teddy Bear, Mrs M, but I'm a modest and self-effacing guy too.

Don't forget witty, Elmer!

Amicus - this is maybe OT, but your comments reminded me of the Mary Tyler Moore episode where Sue Ann Nivens prepared a meal at Mary's house and Lou Grant, being one of the guests, took two entree helpings instead of one. Mary took him aside and explained the situation and, back at the table, Lou put one of the entrees back onto the platter saying, "Well, I'm not as hungry as I thought I was!"

Stacey, I thought of that episode as well.

So funny, I thought of that show as well.

I don't notice stuff like the can of corn guy. Maybe it's because I only do potlucks out of obligation??? I've heard about it from others running the potluck. I guess I'm not that invested. I usually bring a lot of extra food that is fresh and appealing and not too exotic .

We have shown up to one of dh's extended family potlucks without food. I'm not close with them and haven't figured out their traditions. We got there for a family reunion and found out it was a potluck. They talked to dh, not me. I guess they did not relay the info. We could have given money, but they did not want that. I shrugged my shoulders. We weren't there for a free meal.

stacey, patriciae and eld, I used to love watching MTM, so it's funny that I don't recall that episode, but yes, people like that exist in real life too, lol!