OMG, I have so been there. The child who carries around completed assignments, not turning them in, until they are lost. He'd lose his own head if it weren't attached, I tell ya... And he's only in 6th grade. I'm fearful of high school. First, I told him that he had two choices - I can go to school with him and make SURE he turns things in, or we could figure out a system that would work for him. Of course he chose the second option, lol. He's required to have one big binder for all of his classes and as a result, the thing is like the black hole. Things go in and go into the abyss. I assume he looks for things in class but just gets frustrated and decides he doesn't have it. So, we went and got a sturdy thin folder with pockets on the inside. This is the HOMEWORK FOLDER. The left side is labeled for assignments TO DO. The right side is assignments TO TURN IN. This is kept totally separate from the black hole. Nothing else is allowed in that folder but assignments that are done at home. We've had a bit of an issue with him putting things into the homework folder while he's at school (they sometimes get shoved into the binder), but at least at home I can make sure that all of the assignments he did that evening get put into the homework folder TO TURN IN pocket. And there they are supposed to stay until they are turned in. That way when he's in class he doesn't have to fish through the black hole, just pull out that folder and there it is. It's not foolproof, but it's definitely helped.

We have no bus service in our entire district!! Luckily the elementary and middle schools are less than a mile from our home. And they have adult crossing guards posted at every intersection along the path to the schools. But most of the time we walk with, or drive our kids to school. As far as costs for school....it is ridiculous! We pay VERY high property taxes. School supply kits for next year came out and they want $50 or so dollars per supply kit!! No thanks, for 4 kids I think I will go on my yearly scavenger hunt through the dollar store and Walmart and save money. Field trips are ridiculous priced, probably partially because we have no regular bus company. Every other week I feel like I am getting dollared to death! Last week was state testing, this week each kid brought home money requests for class parties to celebrate the end of testing. I would not give it to them, but then they do not get to eat the treats that the money is buying. And how am I going to let them be left out? Our school is doing that book creating thing too. Kids required to make a book for reading class. $20 for each book if you buy it (and of course you have to buy it or your kids are asking you why you don't want the book they made!) Then there is the constant book fairs that the kids walk through during the day and come home and want to buy books from-which we say no! WAnt to read the book that bad, then we will go to the library and check it out! Then there is also spirit wear (overpriced sweatshirts and t-shirts with the school logo) they try to sell and reward kids for wearing on school spirit days! We do not buy those. We tell them to wear school colors on spirit days. And last year they had candy bar sales at their old school. (we moved into our new home during the year so they transfered schools-thank goodness) They tried to say each family HAD to sell 1 box or donate $25!!! How in the heck can a public school try to require that! Then they sent home a box with my son and both sd's. When I called about the error they said that since my sd's were at different schools they both have to sell-one per school. And my son had to sell because he was not "really related" to sd so it was not considered same family! I sent all 3 boxes back to school and told kids to return to office saying we are not participating in candy sales. They sent home a note about the money we "owed" as part of our contribution!! That went into the recycling bin!! My contribution was school fees at the beginning of the year and all the other fundraisers we participated in.

Trust me on this--this is a 'bat your head against the wall' situation. You CANNOT change your parents. You CANNOT change your brother. All you can do right now is step back, see the situation for what it is and realize that your parents are going to give this deadbeat whatever he wants, for the rest of his life, and there will be nothing for you, ever. If you speak to professionals in the field, they'll tell you it's common for parents to over and over again put the 'needs' of a deadbeat child over the good of their other children and even ahead of what's good for them (the parents). Parents will often let one child bleed them dry. And oh yes, they will from time to time go to one of their other children, complaining about the drain on their finances--BUT they rarely really want any help. And if you do attmept to push them to do the right thing--guess who will be wrong and will be on the outs with the family? You. Not only have I seen many other families go through this same scenario, but let me tell you about DH's family. His one sister has always been a taker. She's got all sorts of explanations as to why she needs money--mind you, her husband has a very high position with the government and has made 6 figures for years. Anyway, this deadbeat, over the years, has gotten her parents to pay for: her kids' braces, her cars, her appliances, new roof for her house, and dozens of other stuff. FIL and MIL used to go to DH, complaining about the drain on their finances. DH would get all upset, worried for them, and make good suggestions. They didn't want to hear anything reasonable. Eventually, that SIL finagled and got control over their finances. the stress she put FIL under killed him way too early. Then she STOLE over a quarter of a million $$$ from MIL (who by that time had Alzheimer's). Cost us $20,000 so far in forensic accounting and legal fees to stop the hemmorage of $$$$. It's been 7 years, and the case still hasn't been completely resolved. And honestly? There's no money left in the estate for the rest of the children to inherit. I don't care if I NEVER get any money from someone else's death--that's not really how I choose to make $$$, but darn it, it's grossly unfair for one child to steal the estate from the others. If I knew in my eary 20's what I understand now about these family relationships, we would NOT have allowed ourselves to be victimized the way we were. We would have walked away years ago. I know that sounds cold, but we batted our heads against the wall for 35 years, always doing the right thing, never taking a penny from anyone that wasn't ours, and none of it was appreciated. ever. I know this isn't the advice you want to hear, but truly, the best thing you can do for yourself, is to handle your own fiances responsibly. To protect them from others, and to make up your mind that if your parents choose to give away their money now, to a child who should be able to pay his own way, they ARE NOT your responsibility in the future, when they are down and out because of it. Do not feel guilty if they come to you for help later in life and you feel you need to turn them down. They made their choices, it's not up to you to pay the consequences for others mistakes, truly.

When we 4 kids were quite little, we had our Christmas tree presents on Christmas morning. Our father would have been up helping assemble toys and liked to sleep in, so the routine in our house was that Santa stopped with gifts on Christmas eve, and then a 2nd time. Santa would stop by again on his way back to the North Pole and leave the larger gifts that were not wrapped. Dad had to have his coffee first, and then he would announce that he could hear Santa arriving from his last rounds, so we had better go upstairs so Santa could stop by with his gifts. We had to stand at the top of the stairs, and we could not see anything downstairs with the way they were enclosed. On this last visit of his route, Santa entered our front door. Dad would answer the door, and we could hear Santa jingling around the living room as Dad had a one way conversation. "Yes, Ellen has been a good girl this year and knew her addition table well. Brian was working hard to remember to clean up his room. Sheila was a good girl too, but she needed to eat her vegetables at dinner without complaining. Maureen was being very good taking a nap every afternoon like Mommy says." Then Dad would wish Santa a safe return trip, and slam the front door. That was the signal that we could dash downstairs. Under the tree were wonders to behold, large, bulky and unwrapped. Years later as teens assigned to decorate the tree, we came upon the jingle bells, still wired to the store display card. Our Dad was quite the one for telling stories and keeping things lively.