Thanks to everyone for this discussion! I really have enjoyed reading all your news for better or for worse. I forgot a major piece of news: my husband "retires" on Friday to become a stay at home dad with little E. It's mostly for us - reducing the daily grind. But also Emmett has fallen harder than most into the daycare illness trap and has spent 1/4 of the time since he started daycare on antibiotics. Hoping we can pull back from that a bit. It's a little scary for me - not sure how my husband will like it - but he loved being on paternity leave with little Em and he's a great dad so we'll keep trying it out!

Running, he started working part time (3 days/week) two years ago so at least we have sort of transitioned into it to some extent. And he has a photography hobby that keeps him fairly busy on his off days. I have some concerns that would take a separate thread but let's just say I hope to transfer some of my everyday carp type household stuff over to him. He has already done that a bit -- the dogs are pretty much his full responsibility now in terms of feeding, walking, and meds. He also cooks dinner one night a week when I volunteer at the library although he still needs a lot of direction there. It's hard to teach an old dogs new tricks! I keep saying I'm not going to cook anything for a full year after DD leaves for college...

I am partly (irrationally) resentful that after being almost totally unavailable for raising kids for 26 years, he is finally going to be available right before the nest empties! Not fair!

My son got engaged last fall and the wedding is planned for June 2020.

@robo - My son's fiance makes twice what he does so he figures when they have kids (long way down the road) he'll be an at-home-dad and already has great plans for the time. I think this is tongue in cheek - I think

As far as DH and I are concerned - DH is spending a lot of time taking care of his mom who thinks she's living independently. We're retired and all our plans have been put on hold and it's causing a lot of stress for him. I hate to see it but what can you do.

What a handsome little guy!

My niece and her husband had their first baby on Sunday. A baby girl, Eden.

We are in the middle of a bathroom reno, also a total house refresh. All rooms are getting painted and of course that means new ceiling fixtures and door hardware.

I’ll be looking at new window coverings and sofa next :)

Old cooktop died and the parts are no longer made, so I got a new cooktop. Since the oven was the same age as the cooktop, I also got a new oven. Now I'm learning one again how to cook, since the new equipment doesn't react the same as the old stuff. Ah, the wonders of modern technology.

Runninginplace - I think you described that male female retirement thing perfectly. At least it perfectly describes my situation.

Emmett is so cute, Robo. Thanks for encouraging Beagles to jump on the parenting train too.

I had debated posting this but this thread is perfect. In February I had a routine mammogram which found an abnormal area in my right breast. Short of the story is that I now have a port and had my first chemo session last Tuesday. It is only in my breast and the outlook is very good due to early detection. Moral of the story ladies--get your mammograms!!

Oh RN, so sorry to hear that. Glad you caught it early and the prognosis sounds good. Yes to mammograms!

How are you feeling RNmom? Understood if you prefer not to answer.. :)

I am also sorry to hear about of your diagnoses RN. I hope the rest of the treatment goes smoothly and without event.

RN, good for you for catching it early. Sorry to hear about your diagnosis, but your prognosis sounds good. Yes to mammograms and early detection!

Hope things go smoothly with your treatment, RN.

Robo - this is such a great topic. Thanks for creating it. I am thoroughly enjoying reading about all the weddings, remodeling, vacation and retirement plans and I hope those with family or health issues have a positive outcome.

We will become grandparents when our eldest son and his wife have their first child. After 5 years and 8 failed IUI's the first IVF worked and their daughter should arrive at the end of April. I'm thrilled for them and since they moved out of the Philadelphia they're now only 9 miles from our home. DS gets 4 months of paternity leave so he'll have ample opportunity to help his wife and share the joys of baby tending. Unlike my husband who was the senior Oncology fellow and wasn't able to take any time off. He helped my OB deliver our son, made sure I was OK and then went off to make rounds. Same story for the other 2 children.

DH has been fully retired now for 5 years and I still tell people that he's in transition. When we moved into our current home we remodeled the kitchen and installed a wonderful BlueStar range - what a joy it is, especially since it has re-invigorated his love of cooking. Now he's started baking breads too.

I'm traveling to France with a friend in July. We were supposed to go in the fall but she hurt her back so we postponed it. I wish we could stay longer but this will work out.

maire

Well, my 9 month old Honda CRV "Collision Mitigation System" suddenly and for no reason activated. This caused the car to slow very quickly from 65 mph to 30 mph in the left lane of the Long Island Expressway ( translation: extremely busy highway) while taking a family member to the emergency room for a heart issue. If he didn't have an issue before this he sure would after that. lol. So I am currently fighting with Honda to find the cause. Honda actually told me to test the car and try to have a friend video the road so they could see what might be causing the issue. NO way!!! I am turning off the system every single time I get in the car. Twice I forgot and the system started making noise saying I was too close and I needed to brake. I wasn't .

Good news, tomorrow I go to opening day at Yankee Stadium to cheer my nephew who is now a Yankee. Yeah!!!!!!!

edited:For typos.

Emmet has the sweetest face! He's growing up way too quickly!

We were blessed 2.5 weeks ago with a new grandson! Our DD had her 1st. He's just as sweet as he can be and a good baby! Already sleeping 4 -5 hours a night. The only down side is they live about 4 hours away. We will be spending a lot of time on the road on the weekends. ;-)

I have an appointment on Friday to discuss a hip replacement. I'm quite perplexed as I am not even 60 yet. I had a knee replacement in July last year, however it seems that was not the complete solution to my pain & limping. Arthritis is a booger. If surgery is the answer (and I am pretty sure it is) it'll be in June. I took a new position at work where I'm off for 6 weeks in summer. Not exactly how I wanted to spend my 1st summer off. LOL

I've enjoyed reading through this thread and the life changes taking place with everyone. Especially now, because there isn't a corner of my world that isn't changing. A prominent one is my career. A year ago I was ready to step back and reduce my work hours to find something else but my company offered me benefits (I previously wasn't eligible but have since become eligible due to ACA). The healthcare coverage and ancillary perks are so much better than what we had through my husband's workplace, so I've switched gears and decided to stay. I don't love the work (I like it, but don't love it) but I do feel much more valued--by the company and by my family. I'm not sure I can quite describe it, but it's... well... empowering, I guess.

I do, though, have spare time to pursue other passions because this work is flexible and I'm extremely efficient in getting it done. I love to cook, but there's only so much of that I can do. And I'm on the verge of being tagged the crazy houseplant lady.

Robo, the photo of your son makes my heart ache for the days when my children were his age. I hope he gets to be a big brother. But life will play out as it's supposed to. Good wishes being sent your way!

Pudgeder, DH had hip replacement (right hip) in Nov at Vanderbilt. He had surgery on Friday and spent one night in the hospital. We had a walker and a cane. He used the walker around the house a little. Took a walk up the driveway on Saturday afternoon, then on Sunday went down our road which is about a quarter mile. Never used it again. He did use the cane a couple of times after that but not much. The incision was a bit uncomfortable but mostly in the car with the bucket type seats. He had a really easy time actually and was able to drive in 2 weeks.

Get yourself a sock puller and one of those grabber things to pick up stuff from the floor. Your doctor will likely have you go to a class to help with the preliminary things that will help you prepare. Message me for more if you want.

Re the hip replacement - a good friend had one in late January. She had OUT PATIENT SURGERY. She is a very young 60 and they did the procedure where they go in through the front of the hip. She did 2 weeks of physical therapy. She did great!! It's amazing really. . .

As for myself, I am retiring in June! My husband works from home (owns a business) and likes to say he is semi-retired. NOT. But what he is, is very flexible. It's been great. His mom had cataract surgery twice recently and he was able to go with her both times. He's able to occasionally take my dad for appointments if my sister or I can't. He can go to the rental house if necessary, etc. Depending on what he's got going, he can adjust his hours, or he can work in the evening or on a weekend day if need be. Since I work part-time, we are already together a good bit and it's all good! We have alot of things we like to do together and we also have separate interests/friends, it works out well. Have some home projects going on this summer - looking forward to that!

Re: hip replacement—I was quite young when I had hip replacement (due to an injury). I had the posterior surgical approach, and my recovery was fairly long, and I had about 2 months of physical therapy. In the years since then, I've known several people who have had the anterior (front) approach, and the recovery is significantly easier and faster. Hip replacement is, as I understand it, much easier both as a surgery and for recovery than knee replacement.

One of my main side effects was to be diarrhea. and they were not kidding! Actually I normally have a somewhat sensitive stomach so this has just made my stomach spin in circles even more. We are getting the meds figured out to get things under control.

Had a mid cycle lab/MD visit today and told him that I felt like a whiner. I have had so few side effects and feel very fortunate for that fact.

RN so glad you caught it on time! Hopefully things will quickly be resolved. Prayers said. (((((((RN))))))).

I think you have every right to be a whiner right now. Side effects can be almost worse than the treatment.

Thank you for the tips on the hip replacement. I didn't have much trouble at all w/the knee replacement. I have a pretty high pain tolerance, did my PT like a good girl and haven't had any trouble with it. What I thought was problems w/that surgery has turned out to be hip related.

While I'm not looking forward to it, I know I will be better off.

After all, I need to be able to get up & down on the floor to play with the latest addition to our family! ;-)

Graywings, my sister in law has taken up pickleball and she LOVES it!

Fortunately, I have not had to have a hip replacement, although I do have a slight bit of arthritis in my right hip. I've been collecting canes (which I like anyway) and walking sticks for the future.

Today I had surgery to remove basal cell carcinoma by my dermatologist, and it turned out to be much more of an ordeal than I was led to believe. It was on my chest, and he had to remove four layers before he got it all. I'm just glad that I used my insurance to get me a Lyft ride to and from the clinic. The surgery was done at 8:45AM, but I am still in quite a bit of pain and have been taking various medications to help alleviate this, but I still think it is going to be difficult to sleep tonight. I have to go back in six months to see if he can find any more problems, and he told me that it would be likely that he would.

Lars, I hope you're feeling better this morning and somehow managed to get a few hours of sleep last night. It's good that it was removed and I'll keep my fingers crossed that nothing new is discovered when you return in 6 months.

What a wonderful thread for us to catch up with one another. Last fall DH and I purchased a beach house as a vacation rental. We had fun decorating it from scratch. We are very pleased with the favorable response the house has received from the vacation rental community.

The stars aligned, so my grandsons - 17, 13, 9 years old -have no sports this weekend. I seized the opportunity to invite them to the beach for the weekend. They are looking forward to playing football on the beach, hanging out, and snacking on beach goodies. I am hoping we can bike around town and on the beach trail. Kiddingly I told them to leave their electronics at home. Their response surprised me when they asked what they would do during the car ride.

We might actually finish our reno before Hurricane Harvey's 2nd anniversary. Corian Glacier White countertops & backsplash are going in right now and plumbing the sinks and dishwashers is next week. We're so excited! We moved in at the end of Jan. then had issues, with the fabricator our GC uses, with extra deep countertops. A fabricator Home Depot uses didn't have any problems getting the material, thank goodness. There was a lot of time wasted with the first company-grrrrr.

So happy to see lots of good news! Nothing has changed here, just juggling the parents' care, their house (needing repairs and maintenance, none of it inexpensive), and our son with his school issues. I WISH something would change lol.

bpath, I understand. O know it takes awhile and a lot of energy to help our parents as they age. Our kids are both a source of pride and worry. Hang tough.

Just catching up on the additional posts since Wednesday. I was busy having my gallbladder removed! Glad that’s over. I feel surprisingly good today although sore as heck. My torso looks like I was shot with a machine gun, and my navel is more of an innie than it was before. Still waiting to see how my digestive tract handles the changes. I sure have been gurgling a lot.

My friends have been great. One took me to the hospital and it was all I could do to convince her not to stay. I found out later that another friend went to the hospital and insisted someone go back to the surgical area to find out how I was. I’ve been getting calls and texts wishing me well along with gifts of food.

Bpath, my mom is driving me crazy. She calls to ask how I’m doing and then calls ten minutes later to ask the same thing. Elder care is a huge challenge.

So spring has sprung and I can’t wait to feel well enough for a trip to the nurseries and to get out in the yard.

I hope you start feeling better soon. My friend Maartje had her gall bladder removed, but I really don't know much about that operation. I assume it is something like an appendectomy. At least after the surgery I had yesterday, I am able to go outside and water some of the plants that are not on the sprinkler system, but I cannot do much in the way of lifting at the moment.

Dedtired, did they give you any diet restrictions? When my mom had hers taken out, she was given the all clear to eat anything....only to find out a couple months (and a huge amount of discomfort) later that yes, of course there are diet restrictions...

Hope all goes smoothly for you and you can get out into the garden soon :)

I am supposed to eat a low fat diet for at least two weeks, and no heavy lifting. I don’t feel like lifting anything, that’s for sure.

dedtired, wishing you a speedy recovery. I don't want to discourage you, but after my gallbladder was removed, my waist measurement went up an inch, and I haven't been able to reduce it.

Suero oh no. My waist cannot bear another inch. I’m still swollen and hoping to see things get back to normal in a few weeks.

i have to add that every time I open this thread and see Emmett’s darling face, I have to smile!

Hi, ded, I had mine out in August, and I could not wear pants with zippers for a couple of weeks. That bellybutton incision was the worst for having zippers lay on it. Every day was a little bit better. I don't seem to have any dietary after effects but I couldn't really eat fried foods for awhile anyways. Speedy recovery.

Nothing going on here. One more month of school, not like I am counting the days or anything!

Dedtired, hope you recover quickly from your surgery. You too Lars. Any surgery, even relatively minor, can be a setback to your system for several days. Don’t rush your recovery.

It is so nice to hear everyone’s happy news and fun things planned. Like catching up with old friends.

DGD made a surprise visit home from college for a night to surprise her mom, our DD for her birthday. I was in on it and made dinner reservations. She was sitting at the table when we arrived. It was tearful and fun and we had a great meal. Then us girls had brunch together yesterday before she drove back to school. Her sorority had a philanthropy event today so she had to go back.

Thanks, Robo for this great thread. Thinking of all of you facing health challenges. We have been dealing with elderly parents for several years and lost my FIL in January. He was 94. Now my mom is the only one left-we lost my dad and MIL in 2017. My husband is the executor of the estate and there is a huge house full of stuff, an airplane and a hangar full of stuff. Oh, did I mention it is a five hour drive from our house? However, my husband is retiring at the end of April, so he will have more time to deal with things. I am a little concerned about having him underfoot-he is only 57. I mostly work from home so we shall see how things go. I am hoping he will pitch in more with the cooking!

Our youngest DS has a mental illness and he (and his dog) moved back in with us. He is back on meds (thank you, Lord), and is doing as well as can be expected with his diagnosis. It is remarkable and beautiful to see glimmers of the child you knew and raised return to you once the psychosis is controlled. It is hard going from an empty nest to having one move back in, but such is life. Once we sell our house and move (sometime in the future), ideally we will have a separate apartment for him.

DD and I had a great visit to NYC and enjoyed having lunch with Mtnrdredux and her lovely DDs. We went to see Wicked and The Band's Visit (Mtn recommendation) and both were fantastic. We loved the Frida Kahlo exhibit at the Brooklyn Museum and also visited MOMA, The Whitney and The Met (twice).

We will be going to visit our oldest DS in July (he lives in CO), and a friend and I are going on a two-week Baltic cruise out of London in August.

So fun to catch up reading this thread! Can’t believe how quickly Emmet has grown!! He is adorable.

My DH also just stopped working to focus on our kids. This was always the plan, can’t believe it is actually happening! I took five years off when the kids were small, DH had a crazy job in the IT world that had him travelling 70 percent of the time while they were little. My career has taken off so I’m the crazy busy one now and he is home. His last work day was March 1. First thing he did was go to Vietnam for three weeks with our son Maksim (age 11). Amazing trip. They went with a girlfriend of mine who adopted a baby from Vietnam ten years ago. DH and DS accompanied her on her first trip back to her birth country. Pretty incredible.

DH Zoya is 14 now and an amazing violin player. I keep encouraging her to play more east coast fiddle music rather than classical but I haven’t converted her yet! ;)

Brutal long winter here, I’m looking forward to taking a month off this summer and spending it at the cottage. Hope to get plenty of exercise and lose some weight that snuck up on me.

HCBM, the thing with your CRV, is there a recall you don't know about? You can look it up through NHTSA at https://www.nhtsa.gov/recalls

I had a recall that dragged on for over a year because the dealer said the part was in high demand and hard to get. They wouldn't tell us when it was available, we just had to call regularly. Well, NHTSA doesn't go for that and asks you to notify them if repair isn't done within a reasonable period of time. A few days after we emailed, we were contacted by a different dealership to have the issue resolved. The manufacturer is ultimately responsible. If there isn't an active recall for your vehicle, notify NHTSA with what's happening.

My experience was with Dodge and the fob causing some kind of malfunction that never happened to me, thank goodness. I wanted it taken care of because of a past problem with my Honda Accord, that would SHUT OFF while driving down the road. No power steering is pretty frightening when you're trying to get off the road! My ignition switch was bad but the Honda dealer wouldn't replace it (or even listen to me when I brought it up) saying I'd already had it done under recall. They replaced the fuel pump and tried something else that didn't resolve it. A local mechanic knew what it was right away and took care of it. It was worth the money!

ALEX9179 No there is no recall. They are blaming the issue on a grill guard I got post purchase. I had them remove it yesterday. They expect me to test the car. I am truly terrified to test it. The young service agent told me that they have service bulletins that this is a known issue and has nothing to do with a grill guard. There is a bulletin that Jeeps' systems may be interfering with Honda's. He went on to tell me that several customers have reported issues with the Collision Mitigation System. The manager suggested that it is very safe because it is so sensitive a bird could set it off. I asked him what he would prefer hitting a bird or being rear ended by an 18 wheeler on an interstate going 70 MPH. I probably should start a new thread. I don't want to hijack this thread.

Your experience with the Honda refusing service is making me think I will sell this car immediately and buy a used Volvo. I have driven Volvos for 30 years till I bought a Subaru. At least I know exactly what breaks at what milage on the V70's.

Sochi just wanted to say I love love love your news. Your kids are very lucky to have you and your DH.

Robo, Emmett is just a doll! Such a fun age. Fingers crossed for #2! So sorry Emmett has been sick so much, but it’s a blessing DH can be a stay at home dad!

Neetsiepie, did you find a home for the rabbit? Glad DH was able to catch.

Faron, good luck with your surgery. You too, pudgeder.

Sueb20, DH is semi-retired and it is cutting into my quiet time! He will be fully retired in a few months at 62yo. He’s not 100% ready to retire mentally, but physically he is falling apart (degenerative disc disease, arthritis - neck, back, knees, hands). He can’t do much without getting hurt. His big thing has always been walking, swimming and working out. Now he’s able to walk (but not as fast or far), only tread water (no more laps) and working out with weights or doing CrossFit anymore is a no-no. His only hobby besides that is reading. He loves to travel, but we can’t travel all the time. :-/

Jojoco, love Longwood Gardens! Visited when my parents were living in Carlisle for Army War College. What a great place to be a tour guide!

LynnNM, where do you think you will retire to?

Congrats on the engagements, babies, Yankee nephew (how cool is that!?) and retirements!

Sorry to hear about your cancer diagnosis, RNmomof2. Glad it was caught early.

dedtired, my gallbladder was removed about 20yrs ago. My advice (and I know everyone is different) but know where ALL the bathrooms are when you are out and about. For months, it would hit me out of nowhere. I wasn’t eating fried foods or salads (a big trigger for awhile). A nurse told me a few months later that if they told people some of the side effects of having the surgery, many would not have it removed. It does get better though.

Sorry to hear about your skin cancer, Lars..

and the loss of your family members, texanjana. I feel for you on the executor/estate issues. My parents passed six weeks apart, and it took 2yrs to get Mom’s estate return blessed, and I am still waiting on Dad’s. You have a lot of on your plate the past few years, and your DS. Glad he is doing better. Enjoy your cruise. I am glad you’re taking some time for yourself.

Congratulations, Sochi, to you and your DH. His trip with DS will always be a special memory.

We moved a year ago, and I’m enjoying the new house. It’s great to be closer to town, our children and grandchildren. DD2 just celebrated their 1st anniversary. We love her DH, and he obviously loves both of them - a package deal with DGS. One of our dogs tore her ACL and Meniscus, and it nearing the end of the 6 weeks of being on a leash, which was after 6 weeks in the crate. I hope and pray her other one does not blow, but the odds are 50/50 within the first year. At least I have the crates and supplies, along with the experience, if it happens to her other rear leg. She is such a sweetie, it was heartbreaking. Oh, and she did it only 4 days after we had to put one of our 13yo dogs down. Our 12yo Lab has seizures, and had 2 in 3 days about a month ago. We thought he was going to be gone too, but he has not had another seizure since then. We have several short trips planned, mostly to concerts. DH would like to globetrot again, so if we can get him feeling well enough to go, I will force myself (I am such a homebody, I would rather stay at home!).

Good opportunity for an update! I'm 16 days from retirement and spring is finally here - buying some flowers for my front step tomorrow.

allison, it's so nice to have you back!

3katz4me, goodness, it must feel like the ultimate countdown to summer vacation.

3katz, congratulations! Retirement is just the best as far as I am concerned. It will be two years for me come the end of June. Hope you love it as much as I do!

That’s great, 3katz. It’s amazing that first morning when you can roll over and go back to sleep.

Glad to report my innards are recovered from my surgery and everything seems to be functioning fine.

Perfect, Ded as you have French cuisine in your future :)

3katz, I'm right behind you! I'm meeting with HR tomorrow to start the paperwork, retiring on June 30 and can't wait!

Over the weekend I had 2 dreams: Saturday night I dreamed I could fly and was soaring over the city loving the view and the rush of freedom. Sunday night I dreamed a guy at work who is a bit of an oddball suddenly was appointed as my boss and started giving me obnoxious orders. Subtle right?!?! I'll take flying thankyouverymuch LOLOL

We are plowing ahead with landscaping around this new house. Did the front last year, moving around the non-meadow side currently, hoping to begin the back in the fall but that's a huge and expensive project so we'll see. Messed up my back doing some planting so the last week has not been fun - this getting older stuff sinks! Had a wonderful 9 day visit from both our sons, DIL and DGD . There is nothing better than having all my chickens under the same roof. The day after they all got home our DIL sent this pic of DGD. Needles to say, I swoon <3

She is just precious! I know you enjoyed the visit. Good luck on your landscape project. I posted photos for you on my thread. Our landscape contractor is coming over this afternoon to discuss the last side (the no pool side - DGS is so disappointed :( ). I just want to get it over with!