Check out Rent the Runway too. Most of their things are more body conscious but you might luck out.

You may not "be into weddings", but this is your son's wedding and I'm sure he wants his mother there. So put on a smile, and at least pretend like you are having a good time. This will be a day to celebrate and share in their joy! If the MOB is wearing a long dress, that is what I would go with also. I think something in a shade of plum, or deep pink, etc. would go well with the wedding colors and would be flattering to you.

I differ in that I think long palazzo pants and a snazzy jacket and blouse would be dressy enough if you really can't bring yourself to wear a skirt or gown. But probably needs some glitz.

Navy

https://www.dillards.com/p/r--m-richards-3-piece-lace-flyaway-pant-set/508591853?di=05608691_zi_navy

https://www.dillards.com/p/emma-street-3-piece-sequin-lace-pant-set/508389680?di=05534340_zi_navy

Plum

https://www.dillards.com/p/r--m-richards-beaded-neck-poncho-pant-set/508664281?di=05623341_zi_plum

https://www.dillards.com/p/le-bos-evening-3-piece-chiffon-pant-set/505696477?di=04603901_zi_artic_blue

If you see some stuff you like online, why not order it to your local Dillards to try on? Easy!

Far be it from me to offer fashion advice (and I mean far). I think, though, the occasion as described warrants a full-length dress. The photos will be viewed for generations... you don't want your grandkids asking, "Why's Grandma wearing pants?" To simply find pants that go with this or that top is guest-level decision making. You're much more than a guest at this event.

You have a lovely figure. And as others have noted, there are many choices out there. Shopping either in store or online will take some time but I suspect it won't take much for you to find something really special that looks wonderful on you. And you'll be glad you had made the effort.

I wore this dress in navy to my daughters wedding. It was very comfortable and flattering. I think this color would look stunning on you with your coloring and figure.

I machine washed it on gentle based on GW advice (long dress said dry clean, short length said MW?) and it came out great.

The color looks a little more saturated in the store listing and looks like it would coordinate with the others dresses.

.Ralph Lauren dress

ETA: Pic in preview , not in posting. GRRRR! Dilliard's has this on line at same $$.

Thanks robo. Love those options, I’m going to Dillard’s Friday so will look for those. I did find 2 gowns that I may like, they both come in navy and plum.

Found this one like mtn suggested on Light in the box, this is their navy option. Looks kind of grey?

Just spoke to DIL to be. She loves the idea of navy or plum so will stick with that.

I'm not as bothered by the idea of pants and may be there with you someday. I don't have a dress aversion -- just a practical matter. At my height, a formal full length dress is almost impossible to find. Even if the overall length is good, the waist and bust will be too high, etc. If you don't find something else, try adding a blush or even bright pink sash instead of the black one. Then you have something less harsh/more interesting and a tie in to the colors of the wedding party and a back up plan. That takes the pressure off and at least for me, makes it easier to shop. If you feel you have nothing and have to buy something, nothing is right.

Oh, wow....I feel your pain! Finding the right outfits for my kids' weddings was torture (dragging myself through department stores is the worst way I can imagine to spend my time) but I eventually found the absolute perfect clothes for both weddings, one a dressier affair and the other one more casual. I felt really good in both and you should, too. I think you won't be second guessing yourself when you find the right thing.

I'd place orders from stores that offer free return shipping such as Nordstrom and try on in the privacy of your own home.

(DD doesn't fall far from the tree and never stepped foot in a bridal shop. She found the most perfect...and I do mean PERFECT...dress online.. The icing on the cake was that it was less than $100...no one could believe it!)

I think your choices are BEAUTIFUL Annette...Does Light in the Box offer returns? If so, I would go ahead and order that one, now.

You can't go wrong with either of the Dillards dresses that you like. I like the first one, with the bolero jacket...especially since you're short waisted.

Personally love the plum, but that's based on nothing but my preference.

If you can order from Dillards, I would just do that with all of them and return what doesn't work...Show us. We'll tell it like it is...

FWIW, I detest weddings. The thought of going to my kids weddings (I have four), sends my anxiety through the roof. But I'll put on my big girl panties and plaster a smile on my face and nobody will know--fake it all for the kids, you know?

Besides, if you look amazing, you'll feel amazing.

You have a really nice shape!

How about something like this to show off your curves? You are still covered and the ruching will hide bits you don’t like. The only jewelry you would need is some little earring studs.

I think this dress would take a good picture and not look boring or too flash.

https://www.davidsbridal.com/Product_long-a-line-sweetheart-neckline-dress-132833

Those navy and plum options are quite lovely both the pants and the gown. I'm glad you're considering a gown. I probably wouldn't want too much bling - a little but not too much. Above gown is very nice.

I too think this is an occasion that warrants Something dressier. you have several very elegant but non-fussy options suggested above. I particularly love the one justyerrilynn posted. And the plum option you posted. And the purple silk jacket in the third pic mtn posted.

You won’t regret going a little out of your comfort zone to find something elegant and dressy that still feels like you. (I get your hesitation to go fancy. I really do. DH and I went to a court house with no friends or family. Just the judge and her staff that we paid witness fees to signas witnesses. And I feel fake having to dress up, other than for work.)

I clicked on the Ralph Lauren link that RNmom posted and saw another beautiful RL dress in plum.

https://www.macys.com/shop/product/lauren-ralph-lauren-ruffled-jersey-gown?ID=6510476&tdp=cm_app~zMCOM-MMEW~xcm_zone~zPDP_ZONE_A~xcm_choiceId~zcidM11MAS-efe7becd-c57c-474d-a7bd-b9a4d7e17106%40H5%40you%2Bmight%2Balso%2Blike...%245449%246510476~xcm_pos~zPos2~xcm_srcCatID~z5449

There are so many GW's here with excellent taste and are great shoppers too, so you came to the right place for help. Online shopping would make it easier, even though a hassle to return, because you can try on in your own home, in front of your mirror and lighting. I'd stay away from anything close to white/cream. If you really want pants, a monochromatic look as suggested would give the look of a long dress. If you find something you feel good in and are comfortable in, it will relieve much of the stress (says one who's not been in your shoes!).

Glad you provided more detail on the wedding, Annette. You are wise to look for something more dressy when you go shopping on Friday. It is a plus that your future DIL gave you a thumbs up on your color choices.

I love the one Robo posted in navy with the bling around the neck. Spot on, Robo!

Annette, not sure if you know how much the women on this fabulous board love helping one another. Helping you find the perfect outfit makes all of us so happy. Believe me, I should know. This board is directly responsible for helping me find my own wedding dress, my rehearsal dinner dress, and a dress to wear to my own daughter's wedding. Heck, they also helped with my flowers, cake and who could forget my make up consults.

We really do love doing this. Thanks for asking and congrats on the upcoming nuptials .

So Light in the Box is non returnable unless it’s an in stock item. Which isn’t likely in the styles and colors I’m looking at. Too bad as they have so many options. Good to know for the future though.

Rent the Runway is a great idea but I think you need to have used it previously in order to establish your size. I would get my outfit the Thursday before the wedding so no recourse is it doesn’t fit.

I’m doing a Dillard’s run Friday morning. Even if I don’t find anything I will at least be able to figure out my size within their clothing lines. So that will make ordering online much easier.

So one poster above basically dressed me down for my post, I quote

To be (bruatally) honest, if my mother had told me she couldn't find the time or drum up the motivation to even shop for an outfit for my wedding, it would have been very hurtful and would have made me angry. I know shopping isn't for everyone for a variety of reasons, but surely online shopping is an option to consider.

I have never told my son or his fiancé I couldn’t find the time or wouldn’t drum up the motivation. As a matter of fact I’ve been pretty involved and as helpful and supportive as I can be all while trying to not overstep. Considering...

They got engaged in late October. At which time people started querying them about the wedding date. They told me they were going to enjoy being engaged for a few weeks and would pick a date over the Thanksgiving holiday. At which point I’m thinking ok, probably the next fall at the earliest. Meanwhile my husband and I close our 21+ year business, list our 12 acre family property to sell to downsize and relocate an hour and a half north. (I won’t even get into my chronic hives in my mouth and all over my face that I’m trying to figure out, oh and having to unexpectedly put 2 dogs to sleep in a 10 day period). So now Thanksgiving is over and they tell me their date, first weekend in April! I say yay and we toast and celebrate with all sincerity. They are holding the wedding and reception at my son’s grandparents family ranch, so they don’t have to wait forever for a venue. Meanwhile I’m thinking rehearsal dinner. I don’t have the family property to use for the rehearsal as the wedding planner has stated their people will need full acces to the place that Friday so the rehearsal needs to be somewhere else. So I’m now frantically searching for a venue in a very small town (the closest to the wedding) that I know nothing about and now I’m 2+ hours away from there and can’t make constant trips to work it out, plus no one wants to talk to me until after New Years. To top it off I find out that the weekend in question is a huge weekend in said small town for their once a year big social event so we can’t get hotel space much less a caterer or spot for the rehearsal. Through a bit of luck I get a great spot due to a cancellation and I find a caterer via begging. Amongst this my dearest friends want to host a shower (in my old home town) so I’m going back and forth working on that, which is this Saturday. So I’m driving down Friday morning, drop stuff off and head to look at dresses. Then go shopping for the stuff I need to make the punch and desserts for the shower. Leaving me maybe 2-3 hours to dress shop.

Needless to say, my son and I are very close as I was a single mother for the first 5 years of his life. He joked to his fiancée that I would be really happy if I could just wear jeans to the wedding and his fiancée said that would be perfectly fine with her. Of course I would never do that and enjoy joking about it, I just want to make my son proud and see him off in his new life! But damn, I hate trying on clothes (I also hate getting my hair cut and a manicure is an absolute no-go, there is just too much to do in life to waste time in a salon!)

sorry, vent over!

No apologies necessary. Venting is good.

So is asking for help..or saying "no, I can't do that"....

Annette ((((HUGS)))). If it makes you feel any better I feel very stressed out just reading your post. There, I took some away.

(Carrying a bit off the pile)

I hope in the midst of all of this you have fun! You will look great no matter what, you have good raw material to work with!

My advise is to schedule an appointment with a personal shopper at Nordstrom (or Dillard’s, if they have one). Explain what you like and are looking for and they will pull stuff for you. This way you can find the most appropriate outfit that looks great with the least amount of stress.

Echoing Spanish's advice. The shoppers at Nordstrom know their inventory better than we do, so they can pluck all the possibilities out for you in a flash. I have never failed to be amazed at how well they have done for me regardless of all the constraints I might throw at them, from size and budget to color and cut. Call ahead, give them your parameters and see what happens. It costs you very little time.

PS I figure Dillard's is similar.

This is sooo bizarre. I am STUCK in the same place as you. I considered palazzo pants too but knew I would be outvoted. I have two daughters in their brothers wedding so I have them to please too. We recently had many weddings in my family. My sisters wore what I consider prom dresses for the old generation. Sorry I think that is waaaay over the top for MOB or MOG. My son will not be wearing a coat. Just pants maybe a vest and tie. The brides dress is VERY understated. It is impossible to hit the right tone, dressy but not over dressed compared to the wedding party. I will wear a shorter skirt. The color is a HUGE issue. I can't wear what my son is--navy as that is what the MOB is wearing. I can't wear what my daughters are or I look like an ancient brides maid. All the advise about dark bottom--no matter what we wear we will be DIFFERENT thus stick out IMHO. I hate that. All I need is ONE DRESS and it is impossible to find. I considered STRONGLY the dress posted by eldy--the champagne lace top tulip skirt-- but then found out THANKFULLY we are doing with short. My son's venue is a River boat so this is very casual. The palazzo pants seem PERFECT for my needs only in July--100 degrees probably a skirt would be cooler.

Good luck I will be thinking of you as I shop. I too hate shopping!!

Arcy, I would sub-contract it to someone who is more interested. Your daughters or, if she is so inclined, the bride. The bride is the one who really cares most of anyone, so let her guide you as to color, length, etc and have her or your DDs suggest a few things.

I am totally with you on the prom dresses for the old generation. IMHO there are a LOT of awful dresses for such occasions, many of which remind me of Halloween costumes. OTT and very poor quality.

I always suggest looking at BHLDN for inspiration for MOB/MOG dresses or low-key bridal gowns. I was helping a friend who needed a fairly casual MOB dress and saw this one that is rather plain but has sleeves, pockets, bow detail in the back and could be accessorized to dress it up. Downside is that it only comes in pink.

Pink Dress

PS - Annette, we want to hear how your shopping trip went yesterday!

mtnrdredux, I HAVE I assure you. It is not that I am not interested it is that there is no CLEAR guidance or resolve. Daughters say so what I want, bride and MOB say do what I want. Then I say "what about this one" and get a list of why nots. I have decided it is too soon to shop for SUMMER. I am going to look again after Easter see what appears. The upside of a more casual wedding is freedom. The down side is getting it right!!!

Nordstrom.com. Free shipping both ways! Order lots of choices and styles. Try them on in the comfort of your own home. Send back what doesn’t work. UPS loves you.

Maybe I should encourage my sons to elope. ;) . If not, I know I will be in the same boat eventually.

My son is getting married June of 2020 so I have a long time to be stressed out about this very thing. The first time I met the MOB was shortly after my son and his fiance got engaged and the two sets of parents and the newly engaged couple got together for brunch. During brunch I just up and asked - what can I wear or not wear as the MOG. The bride said don't go formal and you can wear whatever colour or style you want and the MOB said the same thing. Knowing the bride, I suspect she would prefer to wear jeans, as would her mom as would I. My son has nixed that idea.

I will probably wear short and something floral and fitted - that seems to be my go to.

Hopping on the bandwagon. My son is getting married in October. I suppose I should start now so that I have enough time to exhaust the possibilities. The bride has not decided on the color for the bridesmaids yet...her sister (MOH) is being a bit difficult and it is hard for them to shop as sister is a college student. She is home on spring break this week and I hope there is progress!

My daughter was married in May 2017. I actually got my dress from the same online vendor where we ordered the bridesmaids dresses www.azazie.com . You can order 'sample' dresses to try on sizes and styles, then order your specific dress - which is exactly what I did. Here is my dress:

https://www.azazie.com/products/azazie-iliana-bridesmaid-dress?color=stormy

Though listed as a bridesmaid's dress, I thought it didn't scream bridesmaid nor MOB/aging promster.

This company requires a bit of lead time (maybe 6 weeks from order to delivery), so it won't help with Annette's search, but it might help some of you with future events. I was very pleased with the quality, price (only $109!) and service from the company.

Best wishes to all on the upcoming nuptials!

Not a MOB, but last year when I was looking for some dressier clothes for a work-related cocktail party, I went to Belk's flagship store, and just tried on everything I could. Again, if you can go to the stores and work with a salesperson, that might be the best use of your time.

BTW, I bought pants which were quite awesome, and then I did also buy a long skirt as well, which I still haven't had the opportunity to wear. Maybe if they have one this year, LOL, but I've also bought some other dresses onsale to have on hand. Learned that lesson. Also, I've lost 15 lbs, so I look a lot better and feel more confident. If I can lose another 10 by the time of the next conference, that is my goal. I'd really feel great. that also will help with buying clothes.

Good for you Gscience!

So my weekend of craziness is over. I did my shopping and hosted the shower. So I ended up buying the dress d_gw posted. I bought it in navy and plum.

I will try both and decide when I go shoe shopping. Silver, gold, black, grey?

Ooh, I love the plum. Maybe silver or grey?

Hurray!

Love the plum but either will look great. Try pewter (gray) leather shoes/sandals. The are so versatile, even after the wedding. A bronze leather would be too.

Gorgeous!

What a pretty dress - The colour is stunning and the lines are beautiful.

I'm going to have to remember this line of dresses- They're available in Canada at The Bay and the one that Annette Holbrook chose is also available in tea length

I was reading some of the comments and one I found said that apparently the dress notes that it is machine washable (which didn't work out well for someone who made a comment) but the Canadian Bay site said that it is dry cleaning only. Just an FYI.

Love the plum, but I always like navy too. The plum is just different and a little unexpected. I like metallic leathers, but I usually like the ones like bronze or champagne better than straight gold, though those two colors will probably work with just about any metallic.

Beautiful dress.

That is perfect!! I’d definitely do gold with navy...plum could go with either. Probably silver, but if you’d be able to get more use out of gold with your other clothes I think it would work great too! You must be so happy to have that finished and perfect. :)

The plum would look super with silver shoes

Very pretty! I agree about a metallic shoe/sandal in a champagne, pewter or "gilver" tone.

Nude shoes. Or thin strappy silver. Make sure they are comfortable. Pretty dresses.

Next time you try it on please take a pic. I'd love to see you modeling it! Also, my fashion consulting bill is in the mail! Just kidding, I love virtually shopping for others :)

Yes, a picture, please!

There's also the champagne gold option...I think it would look pretty with plum and with the blush the other gals are wearing. Lovely dress!!!!