I think you just gotta let him grieve. No need to hurry him along. These things take time. (((hugs to you all)))

I think you are doing all you can by giving him extra attention. I think pets are a lot like people when it comes to mourning and it is a process. I am sorry for your loss and I know seeing your kitty so sad, makes it even more painful.

Is getting another cat a possibility?

It just takes time. If you have a cat bed or blanket that they used, don't wash it for awhile. Your are doing what you can. Sorry for your loss.

So heart breaking to see them mourn. When I lost my lab, I let her best buddy, my little terrier mix sniff her in my car. He sniffed and then walked away. He mourned for months. We had another dog but the 2 of them were never close. I ended up getting another dog as a hopeful companion for him but it wasn't the same. He did finally come out of his depression though. We gave him lots of extra attention and I think that helped. Not sure what else you can do. Sorry for your loss for both you and your other cat. : (

Rob, I know you are right. It just makes it worse to see him like this, wish there was something we could do to help.

Terry, we still have our sad kitty boy plus 3 female cats. But the 18 year old girl is not bonded to any of the others, she just does her own thing. And the two young girls pick on our boy, which does not help. He pretty much lost his only friend and ally. He is a dominant personality and the only reason they eventually became friends was because our orange guy was such a non-confrontational, live and let live laid-back cat. Introducing another male would have to be done very carefully, he would pretty much have to have the same personality as our orange sweetie.

Sherry, he sleeps on the blanket on the couch where his friend slept at night, haven't washed that yet. Hopefully that does bring him some comfort.

Share_oh, thank you. It sure is hard, seeing them sad makes it even worse.

I'm so sorry that you lost your orange tabby and that his buddy is lost without him. It's so sad, but you are doing well by letting him grieve and giving him comfort. A few years back, I saw a show about animals grieving and if memory serves, it is very common for them to seem depressed and not play for 6 weeks. Could be more or less, but in our house, it held very true.

I had an orange boy too. They are so very special. We had a similar situation with his litter mate sister. We eventually got another cat, which she bonded to. Maybe in time he will bond to one of the other cats? It may be unlikely, but you also never know.

quasi, he was the first orange tabby boy we've ever had and I agree, they are very, very special. We miss him a lot.

I don't think he'll bond to any of the girls, the 18 year old is standoffish and does not interact much with the others. The 3 year old is an alpha female and they get into spats occasionally because they each want to be boss. We took her in almost 2 years ago and we thought they would never be able to live in the same household, but thankfully things have improved a lot.

The "baby" is almost 2, she is a doll but has decided she wants to boss everyone else around and now picks on him as well. So he is having a hard time in general and relied on his buddy a lot.

Just allow him to mourn in his own way without the extra attempts to have him play. Animals can mourn similar to humans and most humans when they have lost a friend and loved one have little desire to play. Giving him extra loving is good but perhaps playing is not what he needs at this time.

I had something very similar happen. I lost my orange tabby boy just before Thanksgiving. Not only was he the most remarkable cat I have ever had the pleasure to know, he was my dog's best bud! They were inseparable and Chewy had him in his life since I brought him home as a 10 week old puppy. He was devastated when the cat passed, listless, off his food and wandered round the house looking for him.

All you can do is love them and give them the attention they seek. They get over it eventually but it is sometimes a slow process and cannot be rushed.

I housesit my landlady's cat 3 weeks out of each month, so there is another cat present most of the time. But she did not grow up with the dog and really only tolerates him rather than doting on him like his buddy did :-) They play a bit but nothing like the games the two boys played and she doesn't sleep with him or groom him or show him any of the other little lovey attentions his buddy did. He is only now starting to come around to his normal spunky self.

I also had an Orange tab named Wesley. We got him as a companion for a foundling baby(found her at two weeks old) when they were both about seven weeks but she never did accept him we thought, until he passed suddenly at only seven yrs. She looked and looked for him and wandered the house wailing. I guess she enjoyed spitting at him. Fortunately another cat showed up, a dumpling who had had kittens at a shocking young age, no kittens found though. She was a starved rag and a bone but spunky and the two have become good confrontational friends. Mags has actually learned to act more like a cat. Her catly skills had suffered from a lack of a mom.

I wonder whether getting a male kitten might help?

I had an orange boy named Louie. He was very special...no one ever like him. The only cat grieving situation here was when Nellie, the mother of Annie, died in 2016 at age 20. Annie died a few months ago at 18 but she grieved for her mother since they were as close a glue. I will probably be taking my Henry in tomorrow for euthanasia and although he never got along with Bernie, the Maine coon, I think B will miss him. . I know I will. Dreading it.

Maifleur, that is true. We have not tried to get him to play since he didn't respond. We'll wait til he tries to get us to play with him.

Gardengal, I am so sorry. Glad to read your Chewy is starting to feel better. Seeing them like that makes it all the harder.

Patricia, our Punky was just 8. It's even harder when they pass at a fairly young age. Glad to read you were able to rescue another and that Mags is happier.

Lucille, if we encountered a needy kitten or a laid-back adult male I'd be all for it. We can never ever replace our Punky, but eventually I would love another orange tabby love bug.

Edited to add a photo of Punky. He had the sweetest face and the sweetest personality. We miss him a lot.

(((lily))) this is heartbreaking to hear. My thoughts and heart go out to you.

Lily, I am so sorry, I know how hard it is. Just remember you are taking Henry in to spare him suffering. It doesn't make it easier, but it helps a little.

I'm so sorry, Lily.

Personally, I would get the grieving cat a kitten. I have seen old cats really perk up when a kitten is introduced.

Hugs. I just lost a cat too, a part of the triad here. I do agree, you have to let your other feline grieve.

The first night there was a large amount of meowing when I least expected to hear it. I think Obi-Wan still misses his cousin. (It has only been a few days.) In fact, I only got his cousin back when they were juvenile kittens because Obi kept mooning about then. So, I went down and got Orion. Brought Orion home, and when I opened up the cat carrier, Obi's eyes went wide, and he just snuggled into the carrier to keep his buddy warm and reasonably happy in the new environment.

It may take time. I'm basically paying more attention to my remaining two cats, and allowing them their space to be sad. Like humans, pets have differing ways of processing. I noticed this when a cat a decade ago passed... some adapt easier than others, just be ready for this.

Marilyn, some older cats just don't want a kitten in their life. They miss THAT cat.

The grieving in this house is me now because I'm sure this will be Henry's last day. He's still eating but less and he spends his time sleeping on a chair. He still grooms himself and is still gorgeous. That's the sad part but I think I have to do what I think is best for him, not me.

Lily, has the vet checked him for diabetes? Five to seven years now and the new vet that has only seen him three times, found out he is diabetic.

7 Common Signs of Diabetes in Cats

• Increased Thirst and Urination. Due to glucose not being able to enter the cells, blood glucose levels (high blood sugar, or hyperglycemia) are raised. ...
• Inappropriate Elimination. ...
• Change in Appetite. ...
• Weight Loss. ...
• Decreased Activity or Weakness. ...
• Change in Gait. ...
• Vomiting.

Artemis, I just saw your thread and I am so sorry. Hugs back to you!! Orion was beautiful and so are your other two.

Marilyn, kittens cheer everyone, no doubt. If one shows up as many have before, the door will be open, as it usually is.

Lily, if you feel he is declining and not feeling well you are definitely doing the right thing. We've had a couple where I think we waited too long and it still haunts me thought it was years ago.

We went through the same thing a few years ago but our two were litter mates. When one died it was so traumatic for the sibling left behind, He literally ran and ran and ran around the house looking for his sibling. The vet suggested putting away the old toys for a while and get a couple of new ones. If they shared beds, which ours did, he also suggested getting a new bed but leaving the other one around as well. Basically the cat had to get used to being an "only".

But he still grieved for a very long time.

I'm so sorry.

Sherry and kadefol..Henry has a cancerous tumor on his leg and when the vet saw him in August he said we can euthanize him today or take him home for a week or two and bring him back. That was six months ago and he has been functioning well till yesterday and today when he's eating very little and sleeping a lot.

Lily, I am sorry. (((((Lily)))))

So sad. Grief is real for us and them. I have witnessed it many times. It's an individual process. Each is different and time frame is different. Our vet early on suggested if at all possible to allow the other animals to be around the animal after death because they understand that. They will still grieve but it may not be as bad because they are aware that the animal is not coming back. We had one of our Great Danes put down at the house, buried her under a tree in the back pasture. Our Afghan hound was allowed to be with her as the vet administered the medication. He smelled her from head to toe. Licked her face. Every day when I would let the Afghan out he would go directly to the grave and lay down on it. I could see him through my window. It was like they were having a conversation. It took a while before he was OK.

It's a process.

Raven, that must have been heartbreaking to watch. Would have done me in to see that every day. I am sorry.

Lily, you and Henry are in my prayers.

Mine too, Lily. ((hugs))

These stories are so heart wrenching. Mine is about a different kind of animal, a cockatiel named Homer. Homer came into my life when a very young bird, so bright and colorful that even her breeder thought she was a boy. Her first tiny egg came as a total shock!

I already had Georgia, a little rescued mutt, in my household and she was curious about the new member of our family. Homer, on the other hand, was totally head over heels in love with Georgia! When she was given free time out of her big cage, she would make her way over to Georgia, wanting to clamber all over her, pulling at hairs and toes.

In her cage, she amused the two of them by calling for her (the dog) then dropping little pieces of her breakfast over the edge. Georgia learned to scarf up bits of broccoli, egg, and other tidbits, always gifts from Homer.

When Georgia developed heart disease and died, Homer went into a deep period of grief and depression that was unmistakable. She wouldn't even let herself be comforted by me, her much loved human. No mutual grooming sessions, no sharing breakfast cereal and salads, no climbing up to nestle in the crook of my neck.

It wasn't until my future husband came to visit me for the first time that she came out of her months long depression. I opened the door to her cage and she flew out.....not to me but to him! In a blink of the eye, she turned into her old self.

We had two cats, an older laid back one- Motley, adopted as an adult stray- and a younger cat, Tessa, acquired as a kitten who was raised by her "aunt" Motley. They slept in a pile together in front of the fire in winter and were great friends.

When Tessa died suddenly at about 7, Motley grieved, went off her food, was clearly unhappy. After not too long we acquired another kitten- Mischief, but their relationship was never the same as Motley and Tessa's. Motley wanted to be friends but Missy was a very prickly cat and wanted to be the Alpha cat. I'd describe their relationship as more like an armed truce that occasionally broke out into brief warfare. I don't know if Missy was upset when Motley passed away due to old age at 21 as we were overseas at the time and when we returned Missy was pretty well normal as I recall. Possibly not, as Motley was being boarded at the vet's while we were away, as Missy would steal Motley's food if not watched and we couldn't expect the cat feeder to do that. So Missy was used to Motley being away. And she got to be the Alpha cat, as we didn't get another cat until she passed away some years later.

Rhizo, furry, feathered, finned, scaled, they all manage to steal our hearts. I hope Homer lived a really long time.

Colleen, some cats definitely do better as singletons. It sounds like Missy was one. Our youngest kitty was meek and non-confrontational when she was small, but as she gets older she displays more and more alpha tendencies.

I am so sorry. Sometimes all you do is be there to comfort them when they need it and leave them alone when they need it.

My pittie Sammy was heartbroken when another one of our pits, Katie died suddenly. They were raised together. He snuggled with her blanket the rest of his life,even though i washed it after a while.I think it helped him a lot.

amylou, thank you. It is sad to witness. I feel even more sorry for him because 2 of the girls gang up on him and he has no ally. So he is sad and picked on. Here are the two buddies hanging out.

I would "love" to adopt more cats......older ones....that get looked over. Our Humane Society has 3 cats, listed for FREE every week. I'd try getting another one....just to get his attention diverted...and rescue one more. But...that's just me.

I agree with Nicole. But I think sometimes a kitten is easier to ease into an established hierarchy than a full grown cat.

And right now, early spring, there are fixing to be tons of kittens born with no thought by the owner as to future homes, so a lot of them don't make it, they get abandoned or impounded or go on Craigslist for free for some creepy perv to pick up.

I think we might wait until our 18 year old leaves us and then take the plunge and adopt another. I agree about a kitten being easier to integrate, but I would really love an older cat who is a certified lap sitter and very non-aggressive so there are no clashes with our alpha male and 2 alpha females. Of course, you never know if and when a needy one will show up, in that case all bets are probably off.

Something strange to report, we had our kitty cremated. They also included a pottery disk with his paw print and name. As soon as we brought everything home, sad guy thoroughly examined the container and the disk and ran off to start playing with his toys?? This was last night and he is acting a lot happier. I don't understand it, could there be a lingering scent of his buddy he was able to detect? It was like his friend was home again and that made him feel better. Or maybe it was just a fluke and he was starting to feel better anyway?

Kadefol, maybe it is you who are feeling better? They feel our pain as well as their own.

So sad about Henry Lily. I always take comfort in that I can do something.

I don't want to jinx Henry's condition which is terminal but being the huge cat lover I am, I will definitely get another cat when he dies. His current condition hasn't changed...still eating, drinking, and sleeping. But when the time comes I'll know it. This will be the first time in over 40 years I've had just one cat. As I've said two and a half years ago, I had five. While I don't want that many again, I will not have just one. My decison might just happn like when I found Bernie in the alley 2 and 1/2 years ago. I don't think I want a kitten but maybe a young cat or older kitten. I can't deal with any more deaths and sicknesses. Bernie is laid back and gets along with everyone. Henry was the antagonist when he was well.

patriciae, they certainly do. It was just odd because husband and I were really depressed after going by the vet's and so it was not cheerfulness on our part that caused him to suddenly be happier. Whatever the cause, I hope he is over the hump and will be okay now.

Lily, that's what I lean toward as well, young(ish) cat or older kitten. The most recent cat who adopted us was around 2 or 3 and is now 3 or 4. She was likely left behind by one of the neighbors who moved. She was very thin with bones sticking out and showed up in the backyard, asking for food. And, according to the vet, probably abused. She has damaged ribs and a bad hip and had some teeth knocked out and has vision problems due to a possible head injury. But she is doing quite well and has gained several pounds and is a happy, playful cat.

One of my all-time favorites who I still miss so much was a pregnant stray who came in my yard many years ago. I tried to discourage her and tried to shoo her away because my cats act up when they look out the window and see another cat. And I feed a lot of birds. Then I saw she was pregnant so I quickly fed her and she left. She came back the next day and then not for a few days. Whe she reappeared , she was even skinnier so I knew she had her babies. I finally found them two weeks later under a neighbor's porch. I crawled under and grabbed the three kittens and husband put mom in a carrier and off they went to my house where I fostered them all. When it was time, I let the rescue group take the orange boys and I kept five year old Nellie and her look alike daughter, Annie who died a few months ago at 18. Nellie died two years ago at 20. She was so intelligent and savvy and ranked in my top two or three favorite cats.

I am glad to hear your kittie is better Kadefol.

My most recent rescue is on my lap as I type. She was dumped and showed obvious signs of having had kittens, but was starved to skin and bones with that rusty ratty fur that comes from extreme starvation but she would still not come to my husband. He had to call me to come and help and she came right to me. She was very afraid of men and it has taken a couple of years for her to not shy away from him. It is obvious she was abused by a male. She still flinches if he puts out his hand too quickly.

There is a special place in he!! for people that abuse animals.

patricia, our Bella flinched when either one of us would reach out to pet her. Apparently she had bad experiences with both genders. Sometimes she still flinches a bit but then remembers she is safe and headbutts instead. She is so stiff and walks like a much older kitty due to her injuries, it is sad.

Sherry, could not agree more. I sincerely hope animals abusers will get exactly what they deserve.