take a picture(s) that show the complete area where this patio would be placed. Include enough surroundings so we can see the setting. So as not to get too far away, you might need to take a series of overlapping photos that pan the scene -- all from a fixed, unmoving, camera position. (The camera would merely pivot to capture the left and right extents.) Since the patio is much more than a simple patio, it's likely there are things you can eliminate.

I'd say your number one problem in too high of cost is building a patio instead of a deck. There are reasons people build one or the other and this house is screaming DECK! If you absolutely MUST have a patio, it's likely that you'd want a smaller deck that transitions down to a larger patio. But you could make things easier on yourself by just having a nice deck like anyone else would do, if they owned this house. Retaining walls, masonry steps and stone columns are expensive. A deck would/could eliminate all those things. That's the short and sweet of it. And do your really need 1,000 S.F.? Determine what you NEED to actually solve your problems, and maybe it can be less expensive on that account, too.

If you did a deck, the fire pit area would be separate and some distance farther from the house. It could come at a later date. It could be simpler and less expensive, too.

Start thinking about large shrubs for privacy in a deep (20ft) bed with layers of shrubs and small trees. They'll fill in a lot faster than you think.

Lots of trees and shrubs and those typically used for hedges, grow fairly fast with good care (supplemental water & some fertilizer.) A deck would be much more convenient to you, and therefore much usable, whereas a patio at the base of a set of steps would require another level of psychological commitment to use it -- every time.

Remove the 2 sided Coventry wall around the firepit. Also, the closer to your current grade the patio is, the less it will cost.

I'm not sure how a raised patio that looks like it's only a step or two down from the house is going to offer much more privacy than a deck. Raising that patio is what's killing you. You're talking several truckloads of gravel and days just moving and compacting fill.

The three doors are the design challenge as far as getting you down to grade faster. Along the lines of Doug's concept, it may be worth considering a smaller deck that connects the two doors and offers some outdoor living space, and then a larger patio at grade. That could also be done in phases if budget requires.

I think the revised plan has negative features .... starting with 20' of steps. That seems overdone to an extreme. And you must go all the way down to yard in order to use outside at all. The hedged-in walk and looping bed line seem like mistakes to me. While these features may suit current owners, they will likely be re-sale concerns to any prospective future owner, if that time ever comes.

I like the original plan. Arborvitae trees are very good for privacy. Not sure how much they charge in your area but we did last summer DIY 550 sq ft raised patio , we bought some tools but the cost at the end was 8k. If we do what was offered to you it was going to be easily 15k DIY for us. The pavers we used were $3 per sq ft.

Wanted to add, once we did it , I realized 550 is not that much once you place some furniture....If you can make it work at the original plan - it is very very nice. What is the cost of firepit? Cut this one but don’t cut sq ft. Sometimes Costco has very very nice ones for 400-600 in store with real granit top.

Do you have the cost of the plants separated? You can do it smaller cheaper plants and wait couple years until they mature, the difference in our area is times x5

I'm not sure if EP Henry Coventry wall block or EP Henry veneer stone is cheaper. My experience with Coventry wall block is that it lacks stability above approx. 24" in height.

One of the things I think about when designing a patio is what the homeowners will see when they're sitting on the patio. A massive expanse of steps ending right below eye height isn't on my list of awesome. Unless there's a reason why you'd walk out one door, make a hard turn, and immediately walk back in the other, I think you have an opportunity for cost savings and visual improvement. Cut the amphitheater down to two landings and connect them with a planter so they're tied together. Then it won't look chopped up, it'll look better, and it'll save you a few bucks.