"Would it be wrong to ask this Dr. if he would suggest any other surgeons..."

Not exactly wrong, but a question the doc would likely find insulting. Docs who do these procedures (a nose job, right?) tend to have big egos and to suggest you want to speak to someone else and/or you don't find him/her as the world's best wouldn't be taken well.

Better to be more discrete. They don't need to know that or if you're also speaking to others.

Is the procedure for health or cosmetic reasons?

Ask to see before and after pictures of other patients for sure. Dont ask about other doctors. Its rude,kinda. Just do your research and schedule a consult with any other doctor you are interested in. A lot of plastic surgeons can do a before and after simulation on their computers with your daughters picture. Ask about that and how realistic it is.

I must say I'm a little jealous. I hate my nose and always have. SO says he is ok with any type of cosmetic work I want done except no foreign bodies implanted and nothing on my face. He scared I'll end up looking like Michael jackson....

Absolutely request names to get a second opinion for any surgery! Run, run, run from any physician that has an issue referring, they are covering up something if they get offended. (I've worked and had direct contact with lots of surgeons in my years of working in several hospitals.)

Find our about restrictions pre- and post- surgical.

Expected recovery times.

What meds will be given, any possible interactions.

Ask how many & how often this physician has performed this particular procedure.

Take something with you to take notes and request clarification for anything you don't understand.

Good Luck with your appointment

Cosmetic. 100% I'm letting the dr. know we'll be having other consults. That would be irresponsible of me not to have DD see more than 1 surgeon. When she needed braces we went to 3 different orthodontists for a consult...much less plastic surgery.

A few months back, I had gone on to pinterest on my laptop and it was logged in under DD and I noticed nose jobs...so I knew she checking it out. I never said anything to her, she is super modest/private so I kept my big trap shut. A fews weeks ago we were watching something on tv and nose job came up and DD pipes up and say's "I'm getting one"...that opened the conversation up...now here we are.

Wise parent! A good plastic will also make sure that she is old enough for the surgery.

My gf had nose surgery ... she needed it for a number of reasons beyond cosmetic. Her mother wanted to ask the dr. if she'd be able to choose what style nose she ended up with, but unfortunately asked, "Will she be able to pick her nose?"

Oops!!

You are being responsible. I think I would go to get three opinions.

I think it's great that you are supportive. This will greatly effect your daughter's self esteem.

A friend of mine has a granddaughter who had the surgery over Christmas break. She was being called the hook at school and hated her nose. Kids can be so terribly cruel. She saw three specialists before she made her choice. She loves her nose now and has had many compliments at school and feels so much better about herself. The only problem they had was finding a doctor that would do the surgery on a 14 year old. Apparently they recommend you be 18. I’m curious how old is your daughter?

DD is 18. She got her nose from her dads side of the family unfortunately. She's never made me aware if she's ever been teased about her nose...but it wouldn't surprise me...kids can be so mean. It's funny, my son never realized he had big ears till "someone" or in other words, some dumb kid said something. I had always been conscious of keeping his hair a little longer around his ears, still do ;-)

natesg, a responsible plastic surgeon wants a patient to have adult features, not those of a fourteen year old. I shouldn't wonder it was difficult to find someone who would perform cosmetic surgery on a child.

We had our older daughter’s ears done when she was five. Seems crazy, but she started dance at age three, so she had to often have her hair in a bun. Kids can be really mean. And they started teasing her when she was 4. We wanted to get it over with before she started Elementary school. I doubt she would have grown into such a happy, confident woman otherwise. It was so bad, the insurance didn’t blink an eye to pay for it.

Teenage and younger daughters are tricky. I think popular culture (that many but not all follow) and the trendsetters for the subculture put far too much emphasis on appearance and trivial aspects of life that are really not that important at that stage of life. An example of that besides outward looks and dress is the focus on relationships with the opposite sex. Another challenge is dealing with peer pressure, girls can be simply brutal with one another.

Your daughter will have more success, confidence in herself, strength of character, and tools for a lifetime of success and happiness by developing what's inside, not what's outside. Hard work, goal achievement and self-reliance all come from accomplishments, not from what she sees in the mirror or what people who really are nothing in the greater scheme of things may say to her or call her. Teach her to keep a good balance and learn to separate what's important from what's not important. To be secure standing on her own two feet. Good luck.

She's awfully young Always, I don't suppose you could encourage her to wait a bit longer.

Prepare her that it will take a while to see several surgeons because you want to make sure that she gets just the right surgery. That will give her time to think about what the procedure will entail, although it sounds to me that she has been considering this for a while. Ask her how much research she has done, she may already be well prepared. Like I said, they will take into account not only her physical age but also her maturity level.

Thought I’d weigh in on this. I had my nose done when I was 25. I was really bothered by it, but didn’t grow up in a family that engaged in plastic surgery. I had it done in Los Angeles in 1990, so things have changed.

My advice is to be very clear about the look you’re trying to achieve. For me, it was a time where doctors were known for their nose style and people had some pretty radical stuff done. I was very clear that I wanted a bump removed and my goal was for it not to be very noticeable. My doctor made one recommendation to balance the look, but we were very much in agreement about what he would do before I signed on.

I went on a recommendation and did one additional consult. Fortunately I had some internal work done for a deviated septum at the same time.

Regarding the look you want, I’m not entirely sure a younger person is equipped to make that decision for the rest of their life. There was an Asian guy in the office when I went. He was very young and requesting a Roman nose with a tear sheet from a Calvin Klein advertisement. Just didn’t make sense, even at the time. Make sure you inject a mature expectation.

I was so happy to have it done. I call it the nose I was supposed to have. People said I looked rested but couldn’t tell what was different. Of course, I told them because I believe you should “own your work” if you’re going to do any. I’m also really glad I waited for it to be matter-of-fact and not life-changing or emotional.

Elmer, I understand where you are. coming from. My parents tried that argument with me too and it's a nice thought. However, while accomplishments and self reliance can indeed bring self confidence, the fact is that appearance is important. Even if only to oneself. I was never picked on for my nose by my peers. But I hate it. It is different than anyone in my family. It has a huge hump in the middle from a break and looks deformed. To me anyway. It really doesn't matter what anyone else says about it. I dislike it. I encourage people to change what they dont like if they can. If you are overweight and dont like it, try to lose it. If you have a giant mole that you hate, have it removed. If you dont like your nose, there is nothing wrong with having it "fixed" as long as you have healthy expectations of the results. While I dont understand some "beauty" procedures and practices, I firmly believe that when someone(especially a woman) is insecure or unhappy with her outer appearance, it hinders her confidence and potential for other accomplishments in life. Just my opinion.

Since SO has effectively vetoed my plan to fix my own nose, I have learned not to think about it. The only time I think about it really is if someone sneaks a picture of me from the side and it's impossible not to think about it. Ugh.

As for her age, I wanted it done when I was 10. I still want it done at 34. So, sometimes you just know what you want.

I would like to nominate you for the super mom of teenage daughters who do not like their noses. You handled the situation superbly and interviewing for the best surgeon is not only prudent medically but a great example for your daughter.

I really do agree with Elmer. It’s really sad. That said, I do not regret getting my daughter’s ears fixed. She did get glasses in fifth grade (Harry Potter style no less) and dealt when the pimples popped up. She always worked hard and is very smart, so having it done didn’t change that. Just made it easier to concentrate on it. I don’t know how much the nose in question is impacting the life, but it certainly doesn’t seem like a spur of the moment decision. I found an old fuzzy picture. Edited to not show the whole face. She grew up into a beautiful young women.

I just ask my 22 year old daughter if she could change anything about her appearance what would it be....immediately she said **my hair** she said it's too long (past her waist) and too thick....I was flabbergasted...but it's simple to change your hair I told her...only takes an appointment at the salon. She said I'll think about it and changed the subject.

A few minutes later it hit me....I'm the one that loves her beautiful long hair..she won't change it because** I ** love it. I marched into her room and told her I'm calling the salon in the morning for a hair appointment and your getting your hair cut...I seen the look of joy in her eyes but quickly gone. So I said....*Amiee I love your beautiful hair but frankly I'm sick of it falling out on the furniture...please consider at least cutting some off. She opened her phone and showed me a picture of Annie Hathaway in The Devil Wears Prada and said this is what I want. So she did want a cut.

Now some of you did see pictures of my daughter and the vascular anomalies in her legs and feet, yet she didn't even mention changing them, than again she never has. I'm very proud of her.

Thanks, Amylou and Iris.

I had a plan to develop confidence and accomplishment with my daughter that started in late elementary years. "Respect yourself if you want others to". "Get into demanding sports - try harder, do better, it's more fun, but it will end after high school". That develops self-esteem and she had a lot of fun with it. "Take the hardest classes you can, it's more interesting" - it was. "Take even harder classes, progress with sports, work during the summer - no pain, no gain". It worked. No idle time to spend with undesirable pursuits or the "wrong crowd" - that worked too. We emphasized things that were substantive, not superficial (like appearance). Maybe she could use some light cosmetic surgery, i don't know, but I know she could care less.

She got into every college and then later, professional school she applied to. She's a 30-something confident adult, has the profession of her dreams and is very happy. When she brings it up, I tell her - "you did it on your own. I just helped you clarify your own wishes and goals". She's attractive but never vain, and has always had an active (and age-appropriate) social life with a lot of friends, because her positive attitude make her a good friend and someone people want to spend time with.

It does work.

I must say that your approach is better than my parents. If I mentioned anything that was bothering me about my appearance(certainly my nose) their reaction was more of a brush off. Basically telling me that looks dont matter at all. There was nothing wrong. Get over it. I got a lot of sarcastic " poor wittle amy doesn't like her nose" And their favorite,"God made you that way." Once I got so frustrated I screamed that God did NOT break my nose!!! Their response? " He made it heal that way." Grrrrrrrrrrrr.

So when I became an adult,my mother gently mentioned my weight to me. I told her that God made me fat. She was outraged."God wouldn't do that to you!" Well, i said, he made the men who invented oreos, fried cheese, and gravy fries,so yes he did. Same way he deformed my nose. I was being a jerk, true enough. But it was still quite satisfying to leave both of them speechless.

Dont get me wrong, my parents did their best for sure. But the whole "your feelings are trivial" stance they seemed to take on everything was defeating at times. They doubtless think that the fact I haven't gotten it fixed is a testament to their parental love. Ugh

Especially during the preteen through high school years, kids are trusting until you give them reasons to distrust or disbelieve you. We tried to empower them to make good (and the better) choices and decisions on their own, with guidance, of course. No absolutes or unknown forces.

The only thing I can think of is a friend's daughter had a nose job when she was quite young and the one thing that she was telling me that went wrong with the surgery is the nose is too small on the bridge and she said that her glasses don't fit her right because it's(the bridge of her nose) too small for them to sit on. I saw her daughter and did not notice that her nose was too small, had I not known, I would not have realized she had a nose job. It did look natural.

Be sure that she isn't trying to look like some movie star by picking the nose that they have. She needs the nose that fits HER FACE! That may not be a real small nose...know what I mean? I have noticed a few actresses that had largish noses that had a nose job and to be quite frank, they looked better before the nose job and the new nose just looked fake.

I have this niece that is by far the most beautiful woman that I know in real life. For as long as I can remember, she has moaned and groaned about wanting a nose job...to this day I have no idea what is wrong with her nose that looks perfect as far as I can see!

Always, I agree, you are doing the right thing. Your daughter seems mature, and I am happy you support this decision now to have this done. I also had mine done in my late 20’s. I had mine broken a couple of times in high school due to basketball injuries and I too inherited my Dad’s nose which wasn’t all that attractive. I also had a deviated septum repaired. Best thing I ever did.

Amylou, I would recommend you do this for yourself. You don’t need anyone’s permission to do this but your own.

Mamapinky, I hope Aimee will be happy with her hair. Maybe she can donate her hair if she has it cut? That should make her feel good about it too. Some organizations take fewer ‘inches’ than others. I can’t remember the details, but my DGD was able to donate 6” of hair when she was quite young and small.

I think it is wonderful that you are supporting your daughter in her decision. Something I think is important besides the skill of the surgeon is one that is realistic about the patient's expectations. Having a "flaw" fixed really doesn't change the person and their life won't magically be different without an effort on their part.

You are taking your daughter's feelings about her nose seriously and doing what you can to find her a skilled surgeon which is an important step. It is a big decision and doesn't compare to a new hairdo or different shade of lipstick which can be easily changed or reversed.

Well the consultation went fine. Dr. comes in and asks what were there for...then he asks if we have any questions even before he gave us any info which I thought was odd. Me and my DD had discussed on the way down whether the Dr. asks what "you want" or tells you what he thinks you need. So that was DD's question. Basically he likes to show you on the computer what he would do to correct or enhance your nose/appearance rather than put someone elses nose on your face. Which makes complete sense to me. My worry is a nose over done, too small, too thin etc.

Apparently DD has a deviated septum which I had never noticed. This Dr. does only the face which is a good thing so he does a lot of noses. He was our first stop, we'll check out a couple other surgeons.

I think DD was ok with what the dr. showed her on the computer and not thinking I want the nose in the picture. I agree, you see these famous people with too small/over done noses that look ridiculous.

One question I didn't ask, was about age and how much her face would change/mature in the new few years. I'll remember to ask the next dr. I'd be ok with DD waiting a couple years.

I wonder if a doctor would ever turn away a potential patient for being too young?

Eld6161, I would run from a doctor who didn't consider the age and maturity of a patient.

"I wonder if a doctor would ever turn away a potential patient for being too young?" I would hope so. They asked for DD's ID at check in. She had to run back to the car to get it. I think she needed to prove that she was at least 18 even though I was there with her.

I just remembered that I have some post surgery pictures. I’ll find and post them tonight so she knows what she’s in for. ps....hurts like helz

" She had to run back to the car to get it. "

Really? She should know by now it's not a good idea to leave anything of importance or value in a parked car.

Iris, you are a good and loving mom. How wonderful that you understood the teasing your daughter might endure and addressed the situation right away.

Always, you too! Can't wait to see the before and afters if you decide to share.

I wouldn’t dismiss the surgeon just because he didn’t outright ask her age. Since you, her mother, were there with her, and she had entered her age on her forms, he probably read what he needed to read. If she had appeared too young, he would have taken her growth in the next few years into consideration. Most facial growth has taken place by age 18. Things can and do change as we age, but her facial growth has likely stopped.

Dedtired, sadly there was no might have. Older kids already found it funny to warn her on windy days that she might fly off and things like that. I am glad she was able to start elementary school out fresh.

Spanish, thanks for sharing those pics. I was expecting to see more bruising and swelling along with more bandages. I can see why you are pleased with that profile.

I don’t even think they use big bandages anymore like that. Just internal packing for the deviated septum, which is usual for that procedure anyway. It probably depends on the amount and type of surgery. Looks great Spanish!

Spanish, I agree - wonderful results.

Outside - I tried to put the packing out of my mind but I will remember that forever. When they take it out, it feels like they are removing parts of your brain from your nose.

The swelling went way down after the last photo, particularly at the top.