I can tell that the piece was published as outrage bait and it is outrageous . She seems like a terrible person. I found her blog and she is also a terrible writer. Also the blog is called “outlaw mama”which seems like a terrible name for a very middle class, middle of the road parent.

I do think parents probably have a duty to stop writing about their kids in the preteen and teen years. Or at least to check in with their kids before they publish something. Even the way she writes about her daughter in the article is so belittling, almost contemptuous. Really disregarding her feelings. It occurs to me that published writing might be the least of their problems going into the teen years. And that there probably is a way to write respectfully about parenting that protects your children’s privacy, but that this woman couldn’t find that level of discernment with a 10 foot pole.

It’s just such a sensitive time for development and they have the potential to be extremely embarrassed by stuff that adults probably don’t care about at all. If you do write about your teens or pre-teens I think it’s important to maintain anonymity and to write about yourself, not your child.

It’s tough because I definitely think there is a place for memoir, and memoirs about parenthood. But I think it’s important to put that out there after your children are formed and can have an adult perspective on your writing.

On top of it all, I find it really embarrassing when bad artists are really pretentious about their art. She is so pretentious about her writing. It’s very cringe. She should’ve stuck with the law thing.

I do see that it is hypocritical to take that stance and then publish stuff about my own kid on social media. But I’ve never been bothered about baby stuff or pictures of myself online so I’m extrapolating that to my kid. I just try not to post embarrassing stuff like naked pictures. But when he’s old enough to care I will be asking him and vetting pictures through him. That’s what my friend does with my godchildren and it’s a nice relationship and very respectful.

My heart broke for that little girl, whose autonomy is being compromised by a self-serving, selfish mother. While it is likely she will post her own pictures and personal stories in a few years, that is her choice, not her mother’s. I think of the stories about me my mother could have told... My DIL set rules early on about posting pictures of my grandchildren, and, I think, in the 15 years (they are 15 and 13) they have been in the world, I’ve posted maybe 3 pictures, and that has been just in the past few years. But, to write an article about a social problem my child was having in school? Never.

I think it is expected, in this day and age, that parents will post pics online (in some form - social media, etc.) of their kids. What makes me question what this mother is doing is that she is both earning her living and doing some sort of self serving mommy therapy at her daughter's expense. In the process, she is sharing way more than mere pictures and milestone life events. Also, the fact that her daughter did ask her to stop and she refuses?! Not okay.

I agree w/ everyone. I think there's a big difference between posting pics on Facebook and sharing your kids problems in the Chicago Tribune. And I think it's very disrespectful that these kids will not have any privacy, ever, from birth if parents do this. That's why I kind of hate the whole Mommy-blogging trend.

I hope that child takes up writing and uses her mother the way she is being used. ( said with some sarcasm and some seriousness)

I also agree with everyone. I think that when a child is old enough to have an opinion about this - and 9 and 10 y/o's certainly would have one - then I think it is incumbent upon us as parents/grandparents/whatever to listen to them. In my opinion it's sort of an invasion of privacy for the child.

Frankly, I think she’s despicable in how she justifies continuing her writing about her daughter even though the daughter has asked her stop. While I think that many parents today bend over far too backwards for their kids, I don’t think her stopping would be coddling her child all - she would be respecting her.

Part of parenting is teaching your kids how to think for themselves and to develop their own compass about what’s right or good for them and what isn’t. This young girl is making a sound choice about her privacy and under no uncertain terms the mother should respect it. Her motivation for not doing so is purely selfish and self serving. Unfortunately, I suspect that this young girl will one day cut her mother out of her life so she can be sure her choice is respected and the mother will have no one but herself to thank for it.

ETA: I also hope that one day there will be laws regarding people’s privacy online (if there aren’t already) put into place so people in that position have some recourse. Who knows, maybe one day this this young girl to will sue her mother for damages.

I think this sentence from the article says it all:

Could I take the essays and pictures off the internet, she wanted to know. I told her that was not possible.

Is this mother reading what she is writing???

Whatever happens in the future between the mother and daughter is nothing compared to the harm the mother is doing to her ability to be an effective, respected parent. The child now loses trust and respect for the person who is supposed to be her advocate and guide growing up. Respect between parent and child is of paramount importance. If you can’t respect your children, they can’t respect you and you lose the ability to parent.

If I'm correct, she calls herself Outlaw Mama and her motto is "My rules. My transgressions. My stories." That alone says a great deal about her obvious selfishness, but the fact that she dares to compare herself favorably to David Sedaris tells me that she's probably a delusional egomaniac. I have nothing but pity and compassion for her daughter who, even as a child, recognizes her inherent right to privacy and respect.

It might be my age showing, but I care nothing for blogs. I have no interest in the life philosophy of some random stranger on the internet who seems to think they have a mission to share their world with other random strangers. I attempted blogging myself years ago, truth be told, and gave up when it became a tedious exercise in self indulgence.

That's a good point about respect. And also, is this daughter ever going to feel comfortable sharing ANYTHING with her mom again? I talked to my mom about all kinds of stuff growing up (crushes, boyfriends, friend problems, etc.) I sure wouldn't have done that if I thought there was a risk it'd end up in a major national newspaper.

Yes, IdaClaire: delusional egomaniac. She should spend some time on a couch with a good doctor.

Even in personal conversation, I try to ask my kids "is it okay to share this story?" when I'm thinking about telling someone an anecdote that involves them.

There are hundreds if not thousands of Moms out there who write about their kids in some way. We’ve all read the stories. And in the ones we like and enjoy, most of them never identify or have photos if the real kids do they? There are veiled references to the funny way kids in general behave or a funny story, likely a composite or somewhat embellished for effect, who knows.

I agree with what you all have said. This Mom has no respect for her daughter’s feelings. This coming to a middle ground? I call BS on that just like most of what she wrote. Take the higher ground where your kids are concerned, Mom.

It's wrong. This is not a parent posting about their toddler dumping a bowl of spaghetti on their head. This is divulging another person's story without the courtesy of a veil of anonymity. Next she will be sharing about her daughter's menarche. Won't that be a delight?

The parent should protect the child. I dont know if I would go so far as to call this abuse, but I am thinking about it.

Initial response: SELFISH B***H!

Yes, as a mom I do give up the last piece of pie to my kids. No question. No problem. My pleasure.

I can see if the kid is a toddler, and doesn't understand, go post about the kid. If the kid is older, ask permission.

If it's about awards or landmarks, most kids will say yes. My sister in law posts landmarks about her two children: gymnastics meets and her son's graduation from high school etc.

If the kid says no, no matter what it is the parent is blogging about, No means No.

I got as far as "gifted her" in the first sentence and could not read any further.

I am disgusted. Wrote a letter to the editor.

Further thoughts. I clicked over to the woman's blog.

She's getting paid by the Chicago Tribune to blog about being a mommy. I don't see that as her being trying to understand mommyhood, but rather as not wanting to see this source of income drying up.

Lucille, I'll be writing a letter on the morrow; I'm glad you did one today.

The child was old enough to understand that her mother blogs. She's old enough to have input and to understand what this means. The fact that Mommy Dearest never had the morality or ethics to say a THING to her daughter speaks unpleasant miles about Mommy Dearest.

Seems like there is universal consensus this is wrong -- wonder why this woman can't see that! Or her husband, if she has one.

Also wrote a scathing (for me) letter....and I, too, "tasted' a pinch of abuse, here (or at the very least, abuse of the power she has in this child's life)...

So sad.

I shared this with a friend and she said, “What she is showing her daughter is that she has a lack of power over her own life.’

This is a timely post for me. This morning, I came across a social media post by a local mom in my area. I don't know her and don't follow her but she wrote about being frustrated after spending a year trying to build her social media "brand" around self-care for young mothers, only to constantly find others writing about the same thing. That she thought she had cornered the market on self-care was telling enough. Her posts included the themes of most young mommy bloggers and she ended with sharing that she was getting over her insecurity about her fledgling business with the help of meds and self-acceptance. Ay yi yi. TMI, my dear.

The comments to her post were supportive though and seemed to be by other young mommy bloggers. Everyone can find a place to belong on the internet. But it takes a certain ...either comfort with vulnerability or disregard for what others think for some of these bloggers to share what they do.

This Christie Tate, though. I keep thinking of the moment when her daughter finally had a bit of Internet freedom only to discover herself all over it. I wonder if Tate really comprehends the degree of violation her 9-year-old may feel by her. I mean, an innate sense of violation and breach of trust by a parent. There's going to be some long-term impact in that.

Tate is getting a lot of backlash on social media right now. The general public does a good job of calling people out on their BS on social media. It will be interesting to see what happens. Either Tate will capitalize on being such a divisive, controversial writer, or the backlash will cause the Tribune, NYT and others to question publishing her further.

As a general rule when anyone asks another to cease pictures/stories about one it should be respected immediately. It is also ironic that this minor's privacy would be protected in other media.

I have a vindictive side that causes me to play imaginary scenarios in my head. To wit: Young girl becomes Snapchat sensation by documenting life with mommy-blogger with lots of photos of mommy, especially crisp shots of wrinkles, bad hair days, angles that are unflattering, etc.

At that age, parents have a level of access that kids can't protect against. Tate is setting the stage for knowing nothing about her teenage children. They won't just think that mommy doesn't understand and can't be trusted. They'll be able to retrieve proof by what she published on the internet.

It's despicable. It was despicable before the daughter got access to the internet and found out about it. It's not a totally new internet thing: some authors in the pre-internet era wrote about their children. In many (most?) cases the kids were not amused. The number of kids affected has risen because of the internet. Ego. Sorry moms/dads, you don't "need" to blog or otherwise expose your kids to worldwide scrutiny for the rest of their lives. Find another job.

Writing a letter, what a great idea Lucille! So many thoughts/opinions with basically the same resulting message....it’s wrong, it’s disrespectful, it’s selfish. I’m going to put a letter together as well.

The mother's actions are shameful and totally self-serving, which will undermine any relationship she might hope to have with her daughter. I just wrote a scathing email to the Chicago Tribune.

Mommy bloggers need to take a step back and look carefully at the subjects of their posts/writings. As an attorney, Tate may have to explore other avenues for her creative writing.

This was also posted on the Washington Post website a few days ago; there seem to be hundreds of comments, all universally horrified by the piece & the author. Tons of criticism on Twitter too. I wonder if she'll respond or at least rethink her position? I really can't imagine how she thought this was a remotely defensible argument.

I literally don’t understand putting pictures of children on such a public platform as it sounds like she has. It just seems dangerous to me. If she is using her real name and her child’s real name and her child’s image...there are enough sickos out there that it would make me extraordinarily nervous and uncomfortable. I have never put pictures of my children on the internet. Something like FB is ok, I suppose, as long as you keep a close eye on your friend list, and posting pics on here is ok bc there are no names attached...but would never do what she does.

My children are teens. I would never violate their privacy by writing about their experiences. Such hubris for the author to think her “need” to explore her motherhood trumps their privacy. If she had used a pseudonym it would be fine. I think privacy is going to become a very valuable commodity as we move deeper aNd deeper into this technological world.

Jeez. The Washington Post version is even worse because she actually LINKS TO THE STORY that she thinks her daughter would be embarrassed about!

I call BS on the story she linked to, by the way. She starts off by saying her daughter's best friend in second grade wrote her a note that said "Please forgive me, but we need to move on from each other"

Unless second graders have changed a lot since I was a kid, I don't remember kids writing notes that sound like bad dialogue from Lifetime movies.

Makes me mad and sad. I‘m so thankful that lady isn’t my mom.

The lady had to have known she was going to get backlash for this. I don’t get it. More traffic even if it’s bad traffic?

At the beginning of every school year we always got some forms to fill out and one of them was always the one asking for permission to use photos of my child for school materials, etc. I always checked the NO box. When they got to be older teens, they got to choose.

I don't even share cute photos of our dogs with my DH (I take better photos!) ... he might post them on facebook! I have no interest in sharing anything on FB.

With the current Me Too movement, I'm surprised someone hasn't stepped up to represent the daughter in some type of harassment lawsuit ...

When I see photos of children on websites, I always think of the poor woman who posted a picture of her dining room on the decorating site of gardenweb several years ago. Her little girl was barely in the photo at the edge. Some jerk reposted a photoshopped version with the child hanging from the chandelier. Aside from the shock, the woman was afraid of stalking. The IP address was nowhere near her, so stalking was unlikely. Gardenweb removed the image and closed the offending account. But still ... why risk it? Just imagine what could be done with if one had actual information about a child.

My mother was an over-sharer with her (very wide) circle of friends, and my sibs and I were discussed (and likely dissected) from childhood through adulthood, and I can assure you, it's not pleasant, but at least these were conversations, this woman is writing about them to the general public, I can't imagine how difficult that must be and will be in the future for those kids. I am too lazy to look up her previous posts (plus I don't want to validate her ignorance by getting her more "hits"), but if her writing is as average and self-centered as it is in the one shared by beagles, I would not enjoy it anyway.

Further thoughts... I still think this "mom" is more worried about losing her source of income writing for the Chicago Tribune than about her kid's safety, or her kid's feeling for her own privacy. I did read the ONE article linked to, but absolutely will not or ever read anything else this sorry excuse for a human writes.

The fact that she didn't even TELL her kid she was doing this, and the child had to discover it on her own... that speaks volumes about the woman's parenting smarts. (LACK THEREOF.)

Those I know who talk about their children on FB do have privacy enabled, and they only talk about... hey, my kid graduated, hey, my kid won such and such... and at a certain age, they were consulted before they were posted about. These children didn't become "parenting issues we want to yack about in order to earn a few dollars, or sympathy, or whatever".

I don't even HAVE a (human) child, and this peeves me beyond belief.

Chispa, I do share chicken and cat photos on FB. Actually, here on GW, too.

When I've shared photos out in the general public for some web involvement or another I've done in the past, (ie, I've done this when posting photos from Scottish festivals I've attended, and so forth), I've always blurred any child's face that may be otherwise visible.

It sounds pretty bad.

I don't think much of anything personal should be posted openly online, especially kids. If you're publicly posting about kids, don't use their real names and don't show their faces. I do think it's okay to post baby pictures because--no offense--babies all look alike. :)

It would be pretty interesting to see how this writer mom would respond if her daughter started blogging about her home life, complete with her version of her mom's social life, her parent's relationship issues, etc.