Lessons From Dad About Making a Home
From ‘every home must have a grill’ to ‘choose the right spouse,’ Houzz readers share their fathers’ wisdom
Dads have a lot of influence in the home. Some cook the family dinner, others cut the lawn, and many pass along their skills to their children. Recently, we asked Houzz readers to share what they learned from their dads about making a happy, well-running home. In honor of fathers everywhere (and for that matter, everyone who was once a kid), here are some of their answers, from the heart-warming to the humorous. Which one can you relate to?
Photo from Lynette
Houzz reader Lynette’s father built his own home and taught his children homebuilding skills in the process. “Dad made sure that all his kids were involved in projects, whether they be staining baseboards [or] installing insulation,” Lynette says. “He lovingly and patiently showed us how to work on a task and to do it to the best of our ability.” Now 80, her father also made the barn wood buffet cabinet pictured here as a gift for Lynette’s birthday in 2016.
Michelle Sinkovitz says her dad taught her “to be creative and to be willing to try anything.” Now, as a homeowner, she has built her own furniture, made her own lighting, installed floors and done all the remodeling in her home. “The last time I saw him, in May 2010, he sat in his shop with me, smoked his pipe and started teaching me about his routers,” Sinkovitz says. “When he passed in November 2010, I went into my garage and got to work, because it made me feel like he was with me.”
Houzz reader Lynette’s father built his own home and taught his children homebuilding skills in the process. “Dad made sure that all his kids were involved in projects, whether they be staining baseboards [or] installing insulation,” Lynette says. “He lovingly and patiently showed us how to work on a task and to do it to the best of our ability.” Now 80, her father also made the barn wood buffet cabinet pictured here as a gift for Lynette’s birthday in 2016.
Michelle Sinkovitz says her dad taught her “to be creative and to be willing to try anything.” Now, as a homeowner, she has built her own furniture, made her own lighting, installed floors and done all the remodeling in her home. “The last time I saw him, in May 2010, he sat in his shop with me, smoked his pipe and started teaching me about his routers,” Sinkovitz says. “When he passed in November 2010, I went into my garage and got to work, because it made me feel like he was with me.”
Photo from Elisabeth Ogden
Elisabeth Ogden, pictured here at age 5 setting up a tent with her father on a family camping trip, learned from her father basic construction skills, woodworking and how to paint. “I loved helping him with everything and anything—and still do when I’m home!” she says.
Houzz reader Susie has great memories of building a playhouse with her father at age 5, and by age 10, working on a barn with him. “He taught me many skills, but most importantly, do it right the first time, even if it means ripping it out and doing it a second time,” she says.
Other readers didn’t get handyperson skills from their dads growing up but were lucky to glean them later in life. “My dad is incredibly handy, but there were very traditional gender roles in our home, so I didn’t get involved in repair and didn’t care to,” says Kendrah, who now owns a 160-year-old house. Her husband is not the handy type, but she calls her dad all the time. “Now he is proud to have a daughter learning the ropes of home repair,” she says.
Jeni B, who was adopted, met her biological dad for the first time in her 20s. “When we finally met, we agreed there was a lot of catching up to do,” she writes. “The first thing he taught me was also the best piece of advice from his years of experience as a contractor, which I still use today: ‘Water is a home’s worst enemy.’” Jeni B says that little pearl has helped her make good decisions as she restores vintage homes herself today. She also owes a big debt to the father she grew up with. While her biological dad “taught me everything I know about construction, my adoptive dad taught me so much about life and how relationships work,” she says. “Best of both worlds, eh?”
Houzz reader bholness’ dad taught this: “Always have a tool box. No matter what. Even if you live in a tent.”
Elisabeth Ogden, pictured here at age 5 setting up a tent with her father on a family camping trip, learned from her father basic construction skills, woodworking and how to paint. “I loved helping him with everything and anything—and still do when I’m home!” she says.
Houzz reader Susie has great memories of building a playhouse with her father at age 5, and by age 10, working on a barn with him. “He taught me many skills, but most importantly, do it right the first time, even if it means ripping it out and doing it a second time,” she says.
Other readers didn’t get handyperson skills from their dads growing up but were lucky to glean them later in life. “My dad is incredibly handy, but there were very traditional gender roles in our home, so I didn’t get involved in repair and didn’t care to,” says Kendrah, who now owns a 160-year-old house. Her husband is not the handy type, but she calls her dad all the time. “Now he is proud to have a daughter learning the ropes of home repair,” she says.
Jeni B, who was adopted, met her biological dad for the first time in her 20s. “When we finally met, we agreed there was a lot of catching up to do,” she writes. “The first thing he taught me was also the best piece of advice from his years of experience as a contractor, which I still use today: ‘Water is a home’s worst enemy.’” Jeni B says that little pearl has helped her make good decisions as she restores vintage homes herself today. She also owes a big debt to the father she grew up with. While her biological dad “taught me everything I know about construction, my adoptive dad taught me so much about life and how relationships work,” she says. “Best of both worlds, eh?”
Houzz reader bholness’ dad taught this: “Always have a tool box. No matter what. Even if you live in a tent.”
Houzz reader sidneyisle says this: “My dad taught me to pick up the phone and contribute to the economy by calling in someone who knows what they’re doing!” Other dads taught their children the same lesson, sometimes indirectly. At age 5, Houzzer gghess climbed up behind her dad on a ladder as he was painting their house. “The paint can fell on me and all over me. I had to have my hair cut off,” she says. “My dad taught me a lot, but little to nothing about home care.”
Houzz reader annpossis says her father taught her “essential skills”: how to play poker, gin rummy and pool.
Houzz reader annpossis says her father taught her “essential skills”: how to play poker, gin rummy and pool.
Life Lessons
Houzzer clemenza2’s father was a Marine who earned a Purple Heart in Okinawa, Japan. When he was injured, one of his soldiers wrote to clemenza’s father’s girlfriend, asking her to visit the injured lieutenant. “Three weeks later they were engaged — war did things to people, I guess,” clemenza2 says. Her parents were married for more than 50 years. “My Dad only taught me one thing about homes: choose the right spouse to share it with.”
Houzzer clemenza2’s father was a Marine who earned a Purple Heart in Okinawa, Japan. When he was injured, one of his soldiers wrote to clemenza’s father’s girlfriend, asking her to visit the injured lieutenant. “Three weeks later they were engaged — war did things to people, I guess,” clemenza2 says. Her parents were married for more than 50 years. “My Dad only taught me one thing about homes: choose the right spouse to share it with.”
Others learned important lessons about themselves from their dads. Houzz reader sandiocd, whose father turns 90 this month, still recalls this incident: “When I was 12 years old, my dad took me aside and said, ‘You are so smart and capable! I know you probably know this, but I want to say it to you: You can do and be anything that you want to be. You’re going to be a great grown-up woman, because you’re a great kid!’” sandiocd says.
Reader tw017155’s dad had a motto: “Things can’t be perfect because people have to live here.” He often used this motto in response to his wife, who liked to keep things clean and tidy. But tw017155 has seen her dad change over time. “Now that he has his own home, he lives by my mom’s motto and will not let anyone get anything out of order. LOL!” tw017155 says. “However, I try to remind myself that home is for living and things will not always be perfect, which used to be his motto.”
Reader tw017155’s dad had a motto: “Things can’t be perfect because people have to live here.” He often used this motto in response to his wife, who liked to keep things clean and tidy. But tw017155 has seen her dad change over time. “Now that he has his own home, he lives by my mom’s motto and will not let anyone get anything out of order. LOL!” tw017155 says. “However, I try to remind myself that home is for living and things will not always be perfect, which used to be his motto.”
Photo from mascherin
Houzz reader mascherin’s dad was “a practical man with a rough exterior yet tendencies toward nostalgia.” After he died, mascherin found this bike in her father’s workshop. The model is reminiscent of one he rode as a child; he had refurbished it. “This piece now greets all who enter our home. Its whimsy is a reminder that just because something is old does not mean it’s useless,” mascherin says.
Laurie Ackerman learned a valuable lesson about contentment from her father. “Do not be impressed with others’ homes, because most people’s homes are mortgaged to the hilt and their cars leased,” he taught her. “My late daddy taught me to always live within my means,” she says.
Houzz reader mascherin’s dad was “a practical man with a rough exterior yet tendencies toward nostalgia.” After he died, mascherin found this bike in her father’s workshop. The model is reminiscent of one he rode as a child; he had refurbished it. “This piece now greets all who enter our home. Its whimsy is a reminder that just because something is old does not mean it’s useless,” mascherin says.
Laurie Ackerman learned a valuable lesson about contentment from her father. “Do not be impressed with others’ homes, because most people’s homes are mortgaged to the hilt and their cars leased,” he taught her. “My late daddy taught me to always live within my means,” she says.
Houzz reader celestina89’s father, a podiatric surgeon, didn’t teach her much about caring for a home, but he did share lessons about how to treat people. “He didn’t care about where the person lived, what social level they were or where they were from. He cared about each one as an individual,” celestina89 says. He taught her to “accept each other for who each is, not what they could be.”
Photo from brooklynslyle
How to Love a Home
Houzz reader brooklynslyle learned gardening skills from her father. This photo shows the garden that her older sister planted in memory of their dad, including one of his favorite pieces of art and his favorite flowers. “We refer to his birthday as Plant a Red Geranium Day,” brooklynslyle says.
Houzzer croweco’s father was a full-time photojournalist who renovated houses during his downtime. “He taught me how important and money-saving preventive, regular maintenance can be,” croweco says. “I heard a lot about what not to do, like ignoring an issue when it first surfaces. How right he was. Problems never go away; they just become more costly to repair.” Today croweco’s 92-year-old father lives in a retirement community, where he often helps the maintenance people troubleshoot issues in the apartment he shares with croweco’s mother.
Houzz reader reich1’s dad used to say, “If you take care of something, it will last a long time.” The adage seems to be true, reich1 says, “because he built his house in 1969 and never replaced anything but the carpet, stove, refrigerator, and dishwasher once, and his house still looked new but dated — flocked wallpaper, avocado green laminate countertops and all!”
GELB’s father taught her this important lesson: “Every home must have a grill.”
How to Love a Home
Houzz reader brooklynslyle learned gardening skills from her father. This photo shows the garden that her older sister planted in memory of their dad, including one of his favorite pieces of art and his favorite flowers. “We refer to his birthday as Plant a Red Geranium Day,” brooklynslyle says.
Houzzer croweco’s father was a full-time photojournalist who renovated houses during his downtime. “He taught me how important and money-saving preventive, regular maintenance can be,” croweco says. “I heard a lot about what not to do, like ignoring an issue when it first surfaces. How right he was. Problems never go away; they just become more costly to repair.” Today croweco’s 92-year-old father lives in a retirement community, where he often helps the maintenance people troubleshoot issues in the apartment he shares with croweco’s mother.
Houzz reader reich1’s dad used to say, “If you take care of something, it will last a long time.” The adage seems to be true, reich1 says, “because he built his house in 1969 and never replaced anything but the carpet, stove, refrigerator, and dishwasher once, and his house still looked new but dated — flocked wallpaper, avocado green laminate countertops and all!”
GELB’s father taught her this important lesson: “Every home must have a grill.”
Your turn: What did your father teach you about making a house a happy, well-run home? Please share your stories in the Comments.
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Practical Skills
Some of our fathers taught us practical skills that we now use in our homes every day. Houzz reader Jan Good, pictured here in August 1961 with her father, learned to paint houses from her dad. She was 11 years old in this photo.