A local Kitchen Designer will be able to measure the space and offer input on your project when you share your budget and dreams with them.

I spoke with one of the two available to me. They double as the owners/sales personnel of the kitchen/flooring/bath/home stores. She was lovely but continued to try and move me to a higher price point. I know she will help me but I was hoping for ideas and suggestions/guides from other points of view. Then when I go back to her I have a better idea of things so I don't get bullied. We don't have actual designers here or locally.

hmmm, maybe you should move on to another designer that will listen and meet your needs. You should not be bullied by anyone as you are the one paying her to design your space for you to live in, not paying her to realize a vision in her mind that is over your budget and does not meet your needs.

Whew! I'm sorry, I confess I didn't read everything. From what I can surmise:

• inexpensive (relatively)
• durable
• forgiving

IKEA is the answer. It will look good, stand up to your growing family (and if not, can be fairly easily replaced even if it is an almost-match), is the best value for money imo and is readily available with great help available for planning. The organizational systems are fantastic, I love my drawer-in-drawer.

We DIY'd our counters using pre-formed bamboo counters from Lowe's. They definitely show some wear and tear but I chose to only oil them. One could use Waterlox and greatly reduce both the amount of wear/staining and the amount of necessary maintenance. Currently I lightly sand and oil mine 1-2 times per year. Not terribly onerous. But I do have staining that would not occur with a harder finish. If you love soapstone and butcher block (as I do) it's a good option that fits that "feel" much, much more inexpensively. So inexpensively, that if you save for a few years and take it out to replace it with your dream, you will have lost nothing.

Start by itemizing every single thing that will go in the kitchen, grouped by use or type. Then figure out where it will be stored, how it will be stored (drawers, shelves, etc) and how much space you need to allot to it.

Next lock down your layout with help from a pro, especially if you have no aptitude for it. Again, IKEA is great for this and worth the trip even if you have to go a couple of hours away.

Then choose your finishes like counter, backsplash, floor.

Last comes paint colour.

You might encourage your husband to make a pinterest board and houzz ideabook of his own. Then you will know what he likes rather than only knowing that he hates what you like, and you might find some common ground :)

Best of luck!

PS: If you change your mind often, let his style be the determining factor. It is likely you will be able to live with it, and it is also likely that you will soon tire of *anything* you choose even if it your favourite thing in the wide world today. So bring in your style with easily-replaced accents and decor.

PS2: Your home life sounds remarkably like mine. :-D

Yes I agree. Unfortunately I don't have many options with who I can work with. Small town problems.

Lindsey I completely agree. That is why all of my ideas I basically threw out because he hated it. There are some non negotiable because I am the one that uses the kitchen, not him. But style wise, that's why I posted the link above. That is pretty much the only one we can agree on. Some things he likes and Its a hell no from me LOL. If I am on the fence then I can slide over to his side. I'm pretty lenient that way. He hates my accents and decor but on that front, I really don't care. I change them often so he can grumble all he wants. The accents are my rebellion muahahaha.

For example: He likes the two tier island and I am meh on it. I like a big flat surface to work on with my dough and cake decorating, processing meat, canning, preserving, etc. I'm a sprawler. BUT because I am indifferent, this is an area I can give in on. 2 tier it is. Plus it allows for another counter top space to add something different.... like the wood I want and he hates lol. Its warm and soft and when a kid bangs their head on it, it wont hurt as much or cause as much damage as stone. And it would dent instead of break or chip so its more forgiving. And leaves a memory lol. It would also be much less maintenance because it is an area that wont be used for much of anything other than display and maybe mail or resting a glass on top or something. No pots, pans, baking, etc.

You need an Interior designer, kitchen designer, and a huge budget to do everything on your list.

Start with one room, and narrow down a very scattered focus. What are you realistically prepared to spend spend on a kitchen remodel?

Is there someone else in the family who might be more focused and concise who could take over as the point of contact for the remodels? Are you prepared to first go through relationship counseling so that you can be on the same page?

Once you have a budget (including a contigency for unexpected overages), I'd recommend making a list and prioritizing all of the things you dislike about your current kitchen. A lot of your focus seems to be on design and materials, but the largest cost is going to be the cabinets. I would start by looking at the storage you want/need (e.g. drawer basis, super susan etc.) and getting a price for that. I'd also include electrical at this stage (e.g. under cabinet lighting, plug molds). Once you know how much is left over for materials, that will likely heavily influence your choices for flooring, counters, fixtures, hardware, and appliances. With respect to appliances, while I am also a fan of the slate color and wanted to avoid ss for fear of fingerprints, I ended up going with black stainless steel because GE is the only brand that makes the color slate, and I didn't want to forced to buy GE products just for the color if it wasn't the best maker of the appliance. Last thing, I'd really think carefully about the two-tiered island; while it seems like your husband's preference might be stronger, it definitely seems like you do have a preference and are the primary cook :)

LOL we don't need counseling, we banter but its nothing that hurts our feelings and its nothing negative. Its a give and take relationship, we are an opposites attract couple and I wouldn't have it any other way. It makes life interesting. Our budget for everything will be in the 150 000 range. But even before refinancing for that amount we will be taking on the pantry and laundry and bathroom ourselves. The only issue we are having is the kitchen, living and dining room. Its more putting it all together to make it cohesive. That is the real issue. Money of course but so far we have a lot broken down.

Lindsay I saw your new reply as I was typing this thing out. You are awesome to spend the time and type out all of that. It really does seem like we have very similar tastes. Ikea is an 18 hour drive away from me. Not ideally an option. I wish it was closer. I have been inside once and I thought it was great. I know my husband is against ikea cabinets. He already told me. Anything ikea he does not like. Although we sleep with an ikea duvet cover and I have another one different pattern in the guest room :D And he loves the feel of that one. So do I.

Lowes is apparently closing in Canada. The nearest Lowes is 8 hours away. We have been there before and I will keep my eye open for the upcoming inevitable sales. We do have Home Depot, again 8 hours away. Its where we get most of our tile and household things but I have to carry it all back here. And IF there is a problem (like 3 boxes of broken tiles.... true story), we cant just take it back to the store. Its 8 hours away, we both work. We have to take time off to go. Its not feasible. Well, it could be done, but with little kids, and work,... its very very difficult. Not impossible, but extraordinarily difficult.

But I like your ideas. I am going to look into them.

I have made a layout with the ikea kitchen planner. I like the look, but the selection of cabinet functions is not what I wanted. I will definitely need to go pro and that would be this lady or the guy from the other place that screwed up a lot of peoples homes... which is why I went to the bossy lady at the other store. I just need to stand my ground with her, but I still need her help with layout and choosing cabinet functions. I have been purging through my house like crazy. All part of my "simplify" life resolution from 2 years ago. It takes some getting used to but its getting easier. And now, I am ruthless. So LOTS is going. I have empty cabinets now :D YAY!!!

Laundry room is easy. We already have the new machines and the laundry tub purchased. We only need a new floor and paint. The floor will be an off cut of fiber floor laminate or something like that. I know they are fairly inexpensive. Its a small room, but large for a laundry room. We are also going to build a linen closet in the space to store off season things like boots, and jackets as well as towels, blankets, etc. I already have the decor for that room as well. Vintage wash boards I have been collecting over the years, vintage irons that people heated the iron before putting the handle on it, vintage tins that I keep my soaps inside, etc The wall colour will be a shade of white and it will be the same in the pantry room. This room budget is $1500.

Pantry room: This space is unfinished from the last homeowners. We will be puttying it and sanding putty on the drywall. We will prime and paint it the same colour as the laundry room. If we can get mis tint paint then that's even more savings. The floor again will be an off cut or remnant at the flooring store. We will need free standing shelving which we already chose at Costco. Its sturdy and will hold a lot of weight. Some shelves will be made with wood we already have. Layout is already planned. Lighting will be either the same as what we have or we will re-use one of the shop lights from the kitchen. Its a pantry, it does'nt need to be fancy, just bright and usable. Budget: $2000.

2 Piece bathroom: We already have the money for this. This is entirely my husbands choice and design. I'm not helping him at all. This is his baby. But it will be a new toilet, vanity, sink and mirror. New floors (he wants fiberfloor because its so soft), possible storage beside the vanity that he will build as well as a box to hide the hot water tank. It also needs a new light and paint. He is as cheap as cheap can get so I don't think this will be much but who knows. Money for this will be less than $5000.

Workshop outside: We were already quoted for $40,000 but I am going to say it will be more like $50,000. (digging, pouring foundation, workshop kit, digging and gravel for RV driving path and pad storage, and drainage around the area)

Front Porch with garden: We are taking care of this, this summer. Porch will be cedar because its easier maintenance than composite here. Composite decking gets very slippery and cracks and gets very slimy. Its beautiful but gross. Its meant for dry areas. We live in the boreal rainforest of Northern Canada lol. Cedar it is. Garden will be simple. I have most of the plants already. I am moving away from fussy. I love taking care of my gardens but since I had kids, I just don't have the time. And the weeds piss me off. I used to be out their daily, for hours just loving my leafy friends. Not anymore. Not unless its food lol. Budget here will be about $5000-7000.

Kitchen, Living, Dining and Hallway: Ok, so taking into consideration the things that we already have the money for (saved up), that leaves me with about $50-60 000 for everything else. We will have more, but I don't want to use it if I can help it.

We priced out the appliances at less than $10,000 but I will put the number at 10 anyway just in case.

We have not picked a flooring, cabinets, counter top, paint, or anything else yet.

A pellet stove will be expensive. We are about to install one in my husbands man cave downstairs. That is $4000 not including supplies like the vent, piping or base. So we figure in the 5-6000 range. We ASSUME about the same for the pellet stove insert upstairs. It will be an insert.

Then we need everything else. I will be keeping my cherry wood dining room set and living room tables. The couch and love seat "may" be staying for now. Depending on the costs of things. A lot of it is in the air which is why I asked here for some design guides. I did get some, thank you.

I want to keep things neutral. My husband agrees. All big purchases will be traditional timeless and the life will come from accessories.

The woman at the shop recommends Vancouver Cabinets. They have a very limited selection. My husband likes the Shaker Grey cabinets. I think its too dark in colour. I would like a lighter grey. https://vancouvercabinets.com/kitchen-gallery/ He is okay with going lighter too. She didnt tell me the name of the other company and just said they are custom and much more expensive. But I saw a beautiful light grey from them that I adore.

Kirsten that is an amazing response. Reading it to hubby now.

Also tell him two-level islands are also hopelessly out of date and will lower your house's value if you ever sell ;)

Also they are worse for kids especially if your kids like to climb on things to reach what they want...

When my Belovedest tried to insert his opinion on our kitchen layout I nicely informed him "I do 90% of kitchen work, and 75% of my household work is done here. This room will be 100% MY WAY." **note, that's not the *style* of the room. Just the functionality.

I think you should put your husband in charge of the entire project. You're, by your own admission, "all over the place" with what you want/like/need. And he needs to hire a designer for the entire thing. Otherwise, this is a train wreck about to happen.

Where on earth do you live that 8 hrs from a Home Depot? We lived in rural Maine from 1993-2003 and even there we had a Lowes about 2 hrs away. You must really be in the "boonies"!

HAHAHA yes, we are in the boonies. The nearest big city is Prince George and we are 8 hours from them. The next biggest is Vancouver and that is 18 hours from us. Our home is in Kitimat, BC Canada.

We are in Chilliwack :-)

Do you have local cab makers/woodworking shops in your area? Look at Barker Cabinets (West Coast company) for ready to assemble cabs that can be shipped to your door...they get some love here along with Ikea cabs for budget friendly remodels.

The best piece of advice I got here was “one’star’ to a kitchen.” When you decide what that is...floor, counters, backsplash, cabs....then everything has to harmonize with that “star” instead of fighting each other for visual “limelight.” The worse thing you can do is pick things you like that do not play nice with each other. Your insp. photo is an example of all elements playing nice with each other. My DH really responded to and took to heart that shared advice, it helped quell his tendency to want to push for all the strong-patterned floors, cabs, counters that he liked as isolated elements. He even quoted it back to me a few times...lol!

Look at LVT planks/tiles for a good-looking durable floor.

Do not give in on the one level island for all the reasons others have cited and the fact that they are not user-friendly/comfortable.

Spend a lot of time sharing pictures of kitchens with your husband....a lot of men love strong patterns, dark stains, and thus wood like oak; but if I could change my DH’s vision of “kitchen,” there is hope for other women! My DH hates change because he cannot envision what he cannot see. It took 6 months of strategically sharing light, bright kitchens that I found with comments about what I liked, sharing before and after kitchen posts from this site, and also occasionally sharing dark, heavy looking oak kitchens with comments about how heavy looking they were to accomplish my goal. He probably got really tired of looking at kitchen photos, but I accomplished my goal....didn’t have to fight about replacing my oranged-oak cabs with new oranged-oak cabs. He came around and embraced painted cabs. Good luck!

Finally, ask your questions here....the answers can be ammo....worked for me!

No, no one local. I will look up Barker Cabinets. And yes, the kitchen will be the star and everything else will flow from that. Thats why I have started looking and planning so early.... months ago, but now I am stepping in. :) Time to start putting pen to paper.

I honestly do not want to read a book in order to help Get a real KD not a cabinet salesperson and you will also need an architect and an interior designer or you will go crazy. This is a huge undertaking and you need all the help you can getASAP

Its true rantontoo Its my only option. I do have Home Hardware available to me as well but again, they are sales people that can help with cabinet choosing/design measurements stuff but not "design". We don't have anyone like that. Its a small community with premium prices. Everything costs more here and its annoying. We have had people from big cities come to visit (Vancouver), even some places in the USA and they cant believe the costs of things here. They always wondered why we were always complaining about never being able to afford stuff.... well that's because an 800 counter in Vancouver cost my mom 5000 up here. Same one. Not kidding. Not even slightly joking. Its ridiculous. My cousin (lives in Victoria, BC) got her driveway done with concrete and paid 3000. Mine which is the same size, used same materials, cost 15,000. She was flabbergasted at the price difference. And frankly, it makes me angry. But those are our options here. Its pay or go without.

You really need to look into Barker cabs to see what the shipping costs to you would be. It is free to continental U.S. but shipping costs to you might be worth it if you have to contend with the kind of local costs you cite.

Post your layout in another posting asking for layout design help and link to this one in that post. Tell us what walls are load bearing and cannot be changed along with your measured to-scale diagram.

You are starting an exciting journey...most people here will help you as best they can to eliminate as much of the potential frustration and disappointment as we can if you ask for opinions and advice.

There must be people from your community who make trips to the lower mainland. If you could work out a great Ikea design and order the cabs online, is there someone who could bring them back for you?

That is definitely an option. I can always ask around. :)