I think it is a matter of personal preference. I do like them to match ... one of the things I liked about doing a whole house reno and addition at once was the continuity of palette and finishes. So it was an important detail for me, in fact I put in all antique white ceramic hardware. That said, we have a pre-existing pseudo-indoor-outdoor space with something like 10 sets of french doors and a few solid doors. They had lovely brass hinges and levers, and I didnt think the antique hardware would look right (ye olde poolhouse?) so I kept them as is.

I think there are pictures in the forum representing almost every combination imaginable and there isn't any one combination that pops out in my memory as not having worked. Our interior doors and trim all match and are softer white. On the exterior, is the same. White trim, white door, hunter green shutters (which we're planning on changing eventually). I like it that way because the white is a nice contrast and to me it provides a more cohesive look. I think you should do what is most appealing to you.

"Are you suggesting I paint the fireplace mantel, staircase, etc a totally different color like blue or green? " Yes,as appossed to re-staining because (A) re-staining is so difficult to do a lastng job,and (B) paint offer's unlimited shades and tones to work with. Matching colors is far easier than coordinating them,stain make's it even more difficult. Frankly I'm not certain what I'd do after seeing the home in person. I suggested blue and/or green based on your discription(which I believe is accurate) of red floors and orange elsewhere. Call major paint distributors to see if they have a consultant in your area. If not,consider asking a paid consultant to have a look or taking actual samples of wall paint,floor and other woodwork to their office. Alternatly,use a camera with higher color resolution. After hearing you are already pleased with blue gray in another area I'm confident you can hit a double or triple useing it again. A color pro might turn it to a home run or grand slam. In the interest of full disclosure,this is not my field of expertise,it's just something I injoy messing around with. I may also be underestimating your eye for color and your desire to accomplish decorating without consulting decorators. I do it all the time simply because I like the satisfaction of "making it my own" rather than doing it "according to the book".

You’ve got some structural design issues here. Time to drop back to the initial plan and fix a few things. You have to work with your material selection. This is trying to work outside those limitations, and doesn’t account for engineering for counter support or a few other things already noted. Post your plan.