Why is this bothering me so much?
7 years ago
Featured Answer
Sort by:Oldest
Comments (59)
Related Discussions
How do you stay motivated
Comments (9)How do you stay motivated? Well lizzardly, first, you've got to get your priorities straight...See, husbands come and husbands go, but how often do you see a free bathtub you could make that pond out of you've always wanted?!!! Think about it..... Just kidding, of course. I know how you feel. My DH and I are opposite in the same way y'all are. Have you ever read Men are from Mars, Women are from Venus"? It can help you understand what he really means. It can help you communicate with him better too. It's hard to give advice without knowing both of you, and it makes a difference the way he says it too, but the thing that helped me is- don't take it personally. Think of it as if a friend or neighbor had said the same thing. That way you get all the other issues out of the way and fast foreward to the problem at hand. Keep believing in yourself. Don't let him squish your ideas or convince you it's a waste of time. You were working, plus you did all that work around the house, you earned the right to play with a little junk and discover the creative side of yourself without a big hassle, now that you have a little time, before you die. Guys do like to think they're being helpful, maybe you could find some project for him to work on. And sometimes they are right. There may actually be too many tree roots in the yard to sink a bathtub in. Maybe he could help you figure out how to build a raised platform or partially bury your pond or put planted pots or rocks around the bathtub or make a pond out of something else. Keep an open mind. Sometimes you just have to ignore the nay-sayers and forge ahead. I like to make my own mistakes, too. Otherwise I'll always be thinking something could have been different. But he didn't help when you were working on the house, why does he feel like you need his advice now that you want to enjoy your self a little. Does he have a hobby/interest? You may have to do some things when he's busy with something else. Now, what actually motivates me is- wanting to see what something will look like. Also, I want to use the things I've collected and carried around all these years, and clear out the rest. I find as I get older, it's better to get up and get interested in sometning rather then sit in a chair and think about how bad I feel, and be thankful I still can, quite a motivation. It is very comforting in more ways than one, to have something to work on. I like happy endings. Hope you get that pond and I hope you learn to play nice together. Hang in there. Donna...See MoreFull time Step Mom
Comments (7)Except for the fact the child exist, I must have missed the parts where the child is really doing anything 'wrong' or anything to upset your world so much. Are you sure it is not just your hormones going a bit crazy? Or that you rushed into this marriage too quickly without thinking it through and got pregs on top of it? My DH raised his son by himself (with Gma assisting from afar during work hours) for the first 9ish years. Not all fathers spoil nor play into the mommy abandoned kid routine. You've been married a year, been in counseling with DH a year...was there ever a time in this relationship that you accepted and loved the father and child or was to change and fix everything always your goal? Sorry, not trying to judge or second guess, but to me, that's how you are coming across. You sound as if you were handed this man and his son of which you must shape up to suit your ideas and preferences. Love of a stepson does not come instantly, but is there anything at all you like about this child? How did you interact with the child during your dating his father time? You knew when you signed on that the child was going to be around 24/7, right? Sounds like you need room in our home for yourself. TV, bed and computer all in same room...in a short time add a new baby to that mix and you'll really be pulling your hair out. Most ten year olds don't go off to friends all day, day after day. DH and you jointly need to find things and ways to see the child has things to do that don't cost a lot. Kid needs his own space with his own things that he can go off into that you a bit of 'down time'. He's 10, you don't have to entertain him all day. But I get the feeling it all has much more to do than with just SS. You're broke, you don't get alone time with hubby (gonna be broker and tied up with an infant soon)...what sleep is dad going to get with a crying infant? I think you really need to step back and look at everything (not just the SS) as it does not sound as the child is really the problem for you. Cramped quarters, boring diet selection, no money, no time alone, a child demanding of your time and attention (the baby) would still be all there confronting you even if this child were not. Are you sure the child is your issue in this relationship/family....See MoreFashion repeats don't bother me, but movie remakes do, why?
Comments (15)Three examples where I felt that a remake was better than the original are: "The Fly" 1986 vs "The Fly" 1958 "The Thing" 1982 vs "The Thing from Another World" 1951 "Invasion of the Body Snatchers" 1978 vs "Invasion of the Body Snatchers" 1956 Often however it seems the remake in its attempt to put a new spin on the story or add fancy new special effects, misses the point that the original was trying to make: "The Day the Earth Stood Still" 2008 vs "The Day the Earth Stood Still" 1951 "Planet of the Apes" 2001 vs "Planet of the Apes" 1968 Other times when an American remake of a hit foreign film changes the characters and setting to be more American, the story suffers for the translation: "No Reservations", 2007 vs "Mostly Martha", 2001 "Dinner for Schmucks", 2010 vs "Dinner Game" 1986 I'm sure there are many more examples....See Morenew build concrete patio on a slight slope
Comments (2)To have the forum be most useful, you need to corroborate whatever issues you bring up, with pictures. We need to SEE whatever problems you mention, such as "...where it's about 6' below the slab ..." in order to be able to evaluate what you're asking about. (The picture above does not show this.) When you have an idea, such as "retaining wall/planter box," you need to sketch out a VERY SIMPLE plan that shows us what you're thinking about, in order for us to know if you're on the right trail, or the wrong path. (The plan needs to include only the relevant areas ... not the whole back yard.) The plan and pictures should corroborate each other....See More- 7 years agolast modified: 7 years ago
- 7 years ago
- 7 years ago
- 7 years ago
- 7 years ago
- 7 years ago
Related Stories

PETSSo You're Thinking About Getting a Dog
Prepare yourself for the realities of training, cost and the impact that lovable pooch might have on your house
Full Story
COFFEE WITH AN ARCHITECTMike Brady Lied to Me
Why "The Brady Bunch" is a terrible guide for the architectural profession
Full Story
COFFEE WITH AN ARCHITECTWhat My Kids Have Taught Me About Working From Home
Candy and Legos aren't the only things certain small people have brought to my architecture business
Full Story
CAPE COD DESIGNSo Your Coastal Style Is: Cape Cod and the Islands
Whaling history, namesake architecture and nautical Yankee decor mark this beach-cottage look
Full Story
TILESo Many Reasons to Love Cement Tiles
You’ll notice their beautiful patterns right away, but cement tiles have less obvious advantages too
Full Story
COLORYou Said It: ‘Adding Color Is About So Much More Than Shock’ and More
Highlights from the week include color advice, Houzzers helping Houzzers and architecture students building community housing
Full Story
GARDENING AND LANDSCAPINGLandscape Detail: Do Fence Me In
For security and privacy or just a sweet backdrop to the begonias, a fence in your garden or yard is the finishing touch
Full Story
THE ART OF ARCHITECTUREOutside In: You, Me and Nature, Cozy Together
From reclaimed tree trunks to soaring coastal views, designers and homeowners are finding ways to bring the inspiring outdoors inside
Full Story
LIFEYou Said It: ‘Or Is It Just Me?’ and Other Houzz Quotables
Design advice, inspiration and observations that struck a chord this week
Full StorySponsored
Columbus Design-Build, Kitchen & Bath Remodeling, Historic Renovations








Bluebell66