My mom moved furniture around too. Not easy in a small house, but she made it work. In the 37 years we've been in this house I've hardly moved a thing. Only when we acquired something new did I find a reason.

For many years we lived with makeshift night "tables". Mine was an old foot locker and dh's was a folding TV tray-type table inlaid with Mexican tiles that we picked up in Mexico. I'm still using a rattan floor shelf from Mexico in the bathroom. It's almost 40 years old and probably only cost a few dollars. It'll finally move on when we, hopefully, finish redoing the bath next year.

"get it right"

I think this is a big part of their insecurity. People decorate sometimes not to have a comfortable home that looks nice to them, but to impress others. And these days with visitors taking pictures permission or no and posting them, they may fear very real ridicule. I've seen some snark fests that make me wonder whether it was a decorating forum or a pit bull ring.

My advice for anyone that doesn't have the thick skin and the fight back capability of a tyrannosaurus would be to stay out of those forums with decorating questions, and instead develop a sense of your own taste and your own worth.

People watch HGTV waaaay too much.

Well, I was just hearing how the latest trend is to take off the "everything is perfect" filters when posting on Instagram and let the acne and fat rolls be seen. So maybe things will shift back on home decorating, too.

I'm sure there are people out there who just want to impress others but I like to get it done and right (to my eye) and move on so I'm not redoing and redoing and wasting money. I'm not saying never redo but want to leave it be for x many years. Then I think there's knowing there's a 'correct' way to do something and wanting to know what that is. I know when something looks off to my eye but may not know how to fix it. For those who say hire a decorator we know that's not always cut and dry either. My surroundings are a big deal to me though clean and tidy go a long way. The times when I get discontent with my house is when things are more sloppy and out of order - beyond my tolerable lived in look.

My mom grew up in a house where the kids got to help move around furniture and even carpet (not kidding) when my grandma wanted to. My mom has changed nothing for years and still likes the same stuff. :)

I find the same thing on the kitchen and appliance forums (which is what I frequent most). It seems to me that everyone wants a fast answer and nobody wants to do any research. Having said that, we are redoing our living room in our 90 year old home and I am at a total loss (Who makes a living room that is 12' x 26'???). My designer friend thinks it sounds exciting, I think I'd rather do my tax return.

I'm not sure that people have changed all that much. The sources of information have changed but not the message. Look at ads from the 50s, 60s, 70s. There was an ideal. Most people ignored that "ideal" or did what they could to achieve it but didn't stress about it. A few strived for it. I think it's the same now. Most of the people seeking advice here are striving. The rest of the population is thinking "whatever".

You read my mind. I've been mulling over expressing this in a post these past few days. Sometimes, I just want to comment: it's not that important. Because it isn't.

I personally don't have a good eye for decorating. Before I dropped a lot of money on new furniture, I would love to run it by someone who does have that talent. My SIL is great at this stuff, but she has no eye for landscaping. I'm pretty good at landscaping. I'm sure she inwardly cringes at my house the same way I cringe at her yard. We both have strong personalities which show in our surroundings, but our strengths definitely help each other.

Long story short, if you don't have someone like that in your life, posting here asking for help seems like a good idea to me. :)

Think the difference is...we used to have neighbors who came over, or we went shopping with, who could offer opinions....my DM was a decorator by trade, and as children, we never knew what the furniture arrangement was going to be when we came home from school. One of the sofas may have been sent to the upholsterer because she found THE fabric for it!! Furniture lasted a LONG time in our house. It was recovered, and refurbished many times. Nothing was disposable.

I think many people now like to analyze all the options before making a purchase. We didn't do this pre-internet because we couldn't, but we would have if we could have. People raised with the internet just approach collecting information differently than old farts. :)

This is just part of the research.

"Does everything need to be perfect the first time?" That's the impression I get in many posts. Along with a sense of urgency. A picture perfect home a week after moving in. Where does that pressure come from?

I think internet itself played huge role in this sense of urgency. And it's increasing

I was taught to answer a letter that same very day I receive it, within couple days max if I have a good reason not to answer that very day. Out of respect to a sender.

Together with this-the sender wouldn't expect the letter to arrive immediately. It'd be weeks sometimes-between my letter and him getting it in mail.

And vise versa.

So we wrote long letters, and tried to do it right away, and then we waited..and then it was the excitement of finally getting the letter out from your mailbox.

The waiting had little to do with our intention, carrying it out, and consideration, so to say.

Now things get sent -and it's expected to be answered right away, but also received right away:)

More than that..as I'm a dinosaur who doesn't own a smartphone, folks are a tad (or a lot) upset with me because it's easier for them to use whatsup or whatver application, to make all communications as short and immediate as humanly possible. I've no doubt it can come as very useful under certain occasions, and it does, but in most occasions-one can wait..and communication might be longer and deeper and more meaningful too. Even just because the format of texting is not really sufficient for certain things. It's for fast things. Not for the things that are ok and even better to take slowly.

(I need to clarify-my not having a smartphone has nothing to do with wanting to upset my friends/family, or some ideology on my part..they drilled such hole in my head it's already easier to get it than to explain why not. I have very good reasons of my own to keep to my old phone..when it dies, I'd have to get a smartphone I guess, and I fear that day)

So, back to the topic..now seems like consideration signals minimal waiting as well.

The mental connection was made, that wasn't necessarily there before.

It was of course-with stuff that really mattered. Somebody's ill. Somebody's in danger. Somebody's waiting for you physically, in certain place in certain time. You're not late-because then it's disrespectful.

But other things -waiting was a normal part of it. It didn't signal of some personal incompetence, or lack of respect from the other part, or I don't know what else.

And maybe now it does, because of this conveniency of constant immediate contact.

Back to add quick that I think some of this comes down to personality. Think of the types of people you know and how they view and approach decorating. They're usually different. Some people don't enjoy the process and want it done for now so it's satisfying to them to look at and they move on. I don't think it helps living in such a fast paced world. When people come home, many want it to feel like their (finished) home as it helps them relax and unwind.

Ha! tartanmeup "A picture perfect home a week after moving in. Where does that pressure come from?" Certainly not my M/O.!

We are a year and a half+ in our home and it's far from picture perfect. Would I like my home t be more 'finished'? You betcha! And not the least of the reasons is because at my stage of life I want things more 'finished' so I can just enjoy it. But OTOH we have a house full of visiting family at the moment and none of the stuff I consider unfinished is having a negative impact. There's finished and then there's 'done' which a home never is, at least none that I've ever lived in. The sense if urgency and immediacy is part of our culture from every direction and so of course it filters into this as well. Hopefully these posters will never know a situation that is truly dire and worthy of the ALL CAPS AND !!!!!

I think the "picture perfect home a week after moving in" comes from all those HGTV shows. Many of them take a house from practically falling down to Southern LIving ready in what seems a ridiculously short time line. And where do all these 20 year olds, fresh out of college with four kids, buying their first home, get a $1 million budget?

Donna

DLM, you bring up a good point about the timing of these posts and their urgency: visiting family! It's the holidays. Perhaps this is what is adding to people's sense of urgency. Occurred to me as I was grocery shopping this morning. Duh. :-)

The $1M reno budgets intrigue me immensely too, Donna.

I wonder if it comes from having so much readily available product/colour choice these days and people get frozen by the very thought of making a decision.

I wonder how this fast pacedness influence people too

they're not busier than they were before, no

they have more stimuli..very overwhelming

I guess one also feels very exposed. Because he's constanly under somebody's eye. So on one hand, he becomes a bit desentisized to it, and to stilmuli as well, because how much a brain can handle, right?

But on the other hand, maybe he gets more anxious too. There's this vague sense of danger, whether real or not

one's used to this being watched thing, if it's not there it already seems off, somehow

but when it's there it's not so great either

so maybe it gets to be like in this favorite song of mine,

"When I'm all alone the dreaming stops and I just can't stand"

It's not that I never feel like that myself, I do sometimes, or else that wouldn't be one of my favorite songs

But decorating wouldn't send me into this mode. The last thing, actually, to send me into this mode would be decoratng. I'm the strongest when I decorate. Lol. Decorating is self soothing, to me. If I get into this mode-it means decorating is really on back burner, and nothing is good to calm down

So..as I'm far from being unique I suppose..maybe this feeling, is not about decorating at all..it's a reflection of something else, like a moonlight on a lake's surface, you know?

As DLM said, it kinda filters from other things

Gargamel wrote I wonder if it comes from having so much readily available product/colour choice these days and people get frozen by the very thought of making a decision.

I totally agree with this as a big factor. Thinking back to growing up in my parents' house, (actually co-op apartment), even living in the big city, my mom was limited to the stores she physically got to, to see what was available. Maybe a magazine or two, or a decorator friend might add to the pot of what was an option, but it was finite there. Now, the choices are indeed overwhelming and seeing all the lovely homes yes on tv, on the internet etc it seems like everyone should be able to enjoy their own.

I also can relate to NOT having the neighbor, friend, whoever it is in my life to bounce ideas around.

Yes I also agree that there is some urgency and lack of willingness to do any research as in what is the best something available .

I agree that this time of year is a factor in the urgency of requests for help.

And I think that crowd sourcing is certainly a thing now. These days, many more folks seem to feel comfortable getting advice from as many people as they can, before making a choice.

Somebody up there mentioned magazines. Haven't you noticed there aren't as many of those around any more? I used to get Martha Stewart Living, House Beautiful, Better Homes and Gardens, etc., but no more. Everything has moved online now, it seems...

Very true, carolb. I miss magazines (Home & Garden!!). I could pore over images without the anxiety-provoking endlessness of the Internet (there's always another image a click away....)

The magazines are there. I became very picky with them-because there's a lot of ads, and I became pickier myself too, I guess..and some of them, they're pretty expensive, if one's into particular style or something.

Some of them became worse-like "Domino"..I know folks loved it but now when they're back I don't want to spend that much money on them. Even though of course they would have something nice shown here and there.

I still enjoy "House beautiful" (not subscribed at the moment, but I was..now buy it from time to time, I've a tradition to buy a decor magazine in an airport to take with me on a plane).."House and Home" (Canada) can be fine.."Living Etc" (UK..but it costs more being from UK)

I'm less into "Elle Decor" and "AD"(american version) because there's less to read..and somehow it's less impressive overall than it was several years ago

Online versions are always worse than printed ones though..so I still prefer printed

I wanted to subscribe to "Cabana"..and price was outrageous..luckily now they printed Anthology, so I bought Anthology..it's huge, like, you can kill someone with the book

It's waiting for me to read it, because I'm reading "One man's Folly" and another book on architectural styles (which I'm reading for months already. It has lots of tiny pics and tiny print, and words I never heard before. I'm past Victorian there..which means I just got to 20 th century.)

One can choose what to read, to a degree..I'm definitely into something I can physically touch..

of course I read some blogs too, and I pin from whoever I like, and all.

But mostly-I prefer books..

I didn't read all the replies, but did anyone mention money and age? When we built our house my mom gave us some furniture and one of my hobbies was going to garage sales where I really scored some good furniture.

I was only in my 20's when we built and we were first starting out and having kids at the same time. The only decorating magazine I read faithfully was Country Living. There were no message boards for decorating back then.

My mom was a gifted decorator but I had no idea if her friends loved to decorate either. I'll never forget mom beating the top of an antique dining room table with a big chain. lol

FF to now and shortly before, decorating is hot. Most new decorators have limited income and want to do it right the first time, while someday they can add better furnishings.

If someone has a lot of disposable income they can afford to not get it right the first time and have a do-over.

I cannot recall if there was ever such a glut of decor retailers as now. I don't remember there being as much available 20-30 years ago. I think there are at least 6 or more big retailers within a 10 minute radius of our suburban home, not to mention specialty shops and the multitude of online sources just a click away.

I was going to start a topic, but I'm glad I don't have to as this is along the same vein, maybe...

I have lost patience with people who refuse to do even the simplest of legwork when looking for something in particular. We all know how to google. Maybe they think we just sit around waiting to be asked where such and such can be found??

I don't know. Maybe i'm too old or too grouchy for this today...

As to your query, sushi, I DO think we have too much choice, now, online...I know that it can make me panic, sometimes.

ETA:...YEP...def, too grouchy.

As an aside, I was so so happy to use what was on hand...sheets as windowcoverings, check. Cinderblocks as "table" legs, check. Now that I might have a decent sofa, well, it doesn't bring me so much happiness. I don't know what that says about me, really (or anyone who feels the same way). Any insight greatly appreciated :)

FWIW, I do not assume that everyone knows how to search successfully on the internet. Some folks do not even seem to know how to change settings on their computers, tablets or smartphones.

Pennydesign ...maybe it's about dreaming about having something and all the fun that entails, rather than actually having it.

yes, I suppose dreaming is a big part of it..being in the process, you know?

that's one of the reasons they end so many fairy tales with "and then they lived happily ever after" (sometimes adding "and died in one day")

surely something did happen, right? especially if it was going for ever after..)))

I need to think some more..

We do have too much choice..that's why I try to keep to sites that are more or less contained, have less choice..:)

Unless it's something incredibly interesting..

I want to add that perhaps people feeling overwhelmed and inadequate to the task of decorating in our present day glut of messaging/marketing/ products is a symptom of current culture, not a personal failing.

I thought the title was in reference to how undecorated a lot of posted rooms look. I like monochromatic, though I don't have the personality to stick with it, but its success is in texture variances. I don't see much of that here. I don't see color. I don't see individuality very often and some of the commenters advise like they're staunchly against that! There's a lot of sameness populating Home Dec., these days.

I agree with many of the above responses. Unending options, marketing trends from the various media sources, and fear of spending $$$ on something that doesn't translate to home/life/vision are some big ones.

I grew up with professional and hobby decorators. Our gatherings usually involve moving art/accents, furniture, or shopping for an item on someone's list. We may have kept the big items but our homes were never "done" because our tastes and needs evolved. We got bored with the same vignette after a few months so moved things around. Seasonal changes brought the desire to cozy up or declutter. That is my normal.

For good or ill, I have the task of refurnishing our home. I've spent an inordinate amount of time looking for an extendable dining table. There are so many choices. None have felt right and, while I don't feel "desperate", I've reached a frustration level that I didn't have when I brought family pieces home to use. Hahaha, Need Help ASAP for Modest Contemporary Old-Euro Austin-esque Chinoiserie Hand-Me-Down style ;) I can only imagine the responses!

Who knows, Alex, maybe it'd turn out to be a great thread..with helpful responses.

(I myself need help, frankly, because I need to reupholster and can't find fabric that will fit, -I'd just repeat what I have, but they discontinued it of course...and I've been looking for ages everywhere I know..but I feel bad, because well, if I can't find anything I'm sure about-what are the chances that others will, putting all this time into sourcing something specific-but-maybe-not-so-specific, etc

Maybe tables are easier..I'm saying it with doubt in my voice..mine is extendable-but I spent 2 months on Craigslist before I found it..and it was an hour drive from us..and one leaf was lost so it's less extendable than it was meant to be)

Along with the typical furniture stores, I've been hunting CL for a few months, too. I saw one that might have been perfect but we had nowhere to store it until move-in. The listing "expired" and I look often to see if it will reappear. We're nearing the end and I can jump on something I love, but I love nothing now that it's convenient to buy!

I had smth similar happenning with my hutch

The seller kindly agreed to store it..

The remodel went on and on..

I'll make it short..no, actually I can't make it short lol..but that's what's called "a piece with a story"

PS check Nextdoor if you haven't yet...ours became very popular lately, in terms of second hand. sometimes I'm really impressed..probably people are afraid of it less than CL, in term of meeting strangers and all. And started posting there more.

I actually wish there weren’t as many choices.

Not decorating but regarding choices, I bought a crock pot yesterday off the shelf, for us, with no researching. It was so nice. Hope it works! :)