I'm so sorry you're having to do this. I would write what's in your heart, but stress your relationship....how you've always appreciated him as your brother, the things you've shared as siblings. Maybe some humor about how you always experienced your crazy uncle Joe's antics or some such together and it makes you smile to remember that (whatever it is). If he has family, I'd assure him they will be loved and cared for, etc.

Hard since I don't know the relationship you had with your brother.

Perhaps something about appreciating having him for a brother...something about what he accomplished in life, good memories that you share or funny moments.

But I think the card would be only for saying things you might not be able to in person. The fact that you are going to be there with him speaks volumes more than your words.

x post, olychick!

I'm so sorry that you find yourself facing this difficult task and I'm sorry that your brother is so ill.

While I think we could help you with wording, we don't have any way to know what you would like to say to your brother. Only you know what is in your heart. Could you tell us what you'd like to say in general and then maybe people could give you some ideas on how to say it.

I would think you want to let him know how much you love him; are there any special memories you would like to include, apologies for something you regret, promises you want to make? While I can't speak for anyone else, I think knowing that sort of thing would help us to help you.

I'm very sorry for all involved.

If I were in this situation, I think this is a time when the right words to express are what would be most meaningful FOR THE RECIPIENT to receive, not what would be most meaningful FOR YOU to express.

If these are truly (and sadly) his last days, what you say out loud in conversation might have more impact (and be more likely to be received) than what you might write.

Best wishes for everyone dealing with such a sad circumstance.

I am so sorry. Keeping you and all who love him in a prayer for comfort.

Not knowing the details, I would first ask....has he accepted that this is

final? There are lots of feelings that cancer patients go through, and disbelief,

believing, but determined to beat it, etc., etc. Some...like my DH...never completely gave up, and needed some beliefs to hang on to. Even though,

he knew in his heart, he needed to be upbeat for us. He needed that. Let him

have any of these that he needs and/or wants. Follow his lead, if you can.

If, he has passed this line...then you have some excellent advice here. Mostly,

just love him and let him know. If he is aware, he will most likely let you

know.

This is a tough one. I tried thinking about what I would write to any of my brothers and just ended up in tears! I am so sorry for your sorrow, enjoyingspring.

I'm so sorry. I had to say goodbye to my mom when she was dying of cancer and it was the hardest thing I've ever done. She was already unconscious at that point and passed overnight.

I guess it depends on your brother. Some people might be comforted by memories and others might be sad at the reminder. I think reassurances that their family will be watched over would be helpful, but it also might be a stark reminder that they won't be there to do it themselves.

I just don't know. I wish you all the best in finding the right words, and peace in this painful time.

I appreciate your wanting to put your feelings in writing, but since this is difficult for you maybe you shouldn't do it.

Be there. Let your brother take the lead. You know him, we don't.

Side story. Not the same but.....I went to visit a good friend who was operated on for ovarian cancer, I walked in saying, "what a place to meet for lunch!"

We meet for lunch often and my friend has the same sense of humor as I so it brought levity into the situation.

When you get there, you will know in your heart what to do and say,

I'm so sorry. My sincere hopes you have a good visit with him tomorrow.

The card will be a tangible thing you will leave with him. If it were me, I'd keep it short, and sweet: "You are a wonderful brother. I love you forever."

In an old BBC cop drama the cop's partner was dying.

The cop asks the vicar "What should I say?"

The vicar says "Don't say anything. Just be there.

✔ ✔

One thing that I would have to say to my brothers would be, "Mom always liked you the best!" That was a running joke in the family.

I can add nothing, except that you are in my prayers.

If it's easier for you to write your feelings and what your brother means to you than to speak it - then do so

Or the card can be a conversation starter for you and your brother. If your brother has any family they may read the card so use heartfelt meaningful words that will make them realize what he meant to his family.

You're saying goodbye to your brother, say what's in your heart and what you will miss the most.

You're lucky, my brother died suddenly and I never got this chance. My brother had mental health issues and I would have loved to be able to tell him that I admired his strength in knocking down those roadblocks that people insisted on putting up in front of him. He was the strongest person I've ever known in facing adversity.

I think it would be nice for him to have a letter from you. I went to visit my dad in February and also saw an old friend who has stage IV breast cancer. We had lunch together and as we sat waiting on our food she started recollecting times when we were kids and she had stayed at my house. Some things I hadn't remembered, but she did. I never spent any time at her house, she never invited me. I found out later that she was embarrassed that their house wasn't kept up very well. The discussion made me wonder if she thought that was the last time we would see each other. The cancer has spread to her bones but isn't growing for now. I don't know what you should say to your brother, but maybe remind him of the good times you had growing up together? I think that's what my friend was doing.

My thoughts are with you, sorry you have to face this reality. As for what to write, that really will depend on your individual personalities and what he needs to read.

When my younger brother was at the end, I just sat with him and held his hand. He told me that he was tired of fighting and wanted to go, but mother wasn't ready to let him go. I simply told him to let go if that is what he wanted.

Thank you for all your support

I agree with others. Say what's in your heart sounds right. I think there's a good thing about writing it down whether he completely appreciates it or not. Other people will most likely read the notes and will have some of their feelings expressed in your words which might make it easier for them to discuss how they are feeling. They might feel comforted by someone else feeling what they feel. In my view there is nothing wrong with writing down how you feel. I would also be sure to say those words as well. Hugs to you your brother and your family.