I think deadlines (at least deadlines we BELIEVE in) help us to focus on completing a task. With no deadlines, it is easy to postpone work on that task and spend our time on other things that seem more urgent or more immediately interesting. As a deadline approaches however, most of us experience an adrenalin rush that not only makes us more alert and able to focus on the job at hand but gives us the energy to keep working at it even if we have to forego sleep... just to meet the deadline. The biggest problem in your situation is that the deadlines you're talking about are YOUR deadlines but apparently not your builder's! And, since you're not in control of meeting the deadlines, all they are doing is increasing your level of stress with no payoff. All you get is a sense of disappointment when your builder fails to meet the deadlines. I think you need to find a way of making your builder internalize a deadline to finish your house so that HE feels the adrenalin. I did a search on your name to find your previous posts and get a sense of why it might be taking so long for your home to be finished. The first post I found from you was in September 2010 where you mentioned that the foundation had been poured in December 2009! Wow! I thought, that is TWO FULL YEARS. At that point, I was tempted to chime in to agree wholeheartedly with Worthy and even to suggest that it was long post time for you to get a new builder. But then, looking at some more of your posts, I realized that you are building at a fairly high elevation where winter sets in early and lingers late and you probably have a rather limited number of daylight hours in the winter plus days when roads are closed due to ice and snow. ( You mentioned in your Sept 2010 post that you'd already had a couple of snowfalls in August of that year. BRRRR! But your views are delicious!) Obviously, cold snowy or cold rainy weather is going to slow things down until a house is fully dried in. And, if roads are impassible to large trucks for much of the year, that could slow your build considerably even after you're dried in and most of the remaining work is "inside". I'm a southerner so see very little snow but I can imagine that small vehicles might be able to get up mountain roads that have only had narrow lanes plowed while larger trucks can't get up. So, if the truck delivering your cabinets can't get up the mountain, then your cabinets can't be installed. Since you mentioned "Christmas eve in the new house" tho, I'm assuming you're not building at such a high elevation that they close the roads for months at a time. But, just looking at your portapotty picture tells me that there are no doubt days when roads are totally impassible. When workmen can't make the trip nothing gets done even if all materials are on site. So, it seems like weather in your area may account for SOME of the slow-going that you've experienced so I won't go so far as to say that your builder is totally taking advantage of your relationship and is "blowing you off." And, he does seem to be doing some beautiful work. But, I do think you need to somehow get HIM to internalize some deadlines with regard to finishing your home. Now that it looks like the only things left to be done on your home are all "interior work," work ought to be going forward EVERY single day until the job is completely done unless the road are closed to all traffic so that workmen can't get there. If roads regularly become impassible to large trucks in the winter, that just means that your builder should plan ahead and get all materials on-site when the weather is good and roads are clear even if that means having them delivered to a storage facility at a lower altitude and them putting everything on a truck and moving it all up the mountain the next very time that roads are clear for a large truck. It looks like your garage is "finished" and there is no reason why various materials can't be stored in the garage until he's ready to install them. Not sure what all still needs to be done on the interior of your home but even buckets of paint can be kept on-site as long as you have heat so that it doesn't freeze. Wood flooring should also be stored in the house with the HVAC on so that it can acclimatize before installation. But, pretty much everything else (tile, cabinets, trim, electrical and plumbing fixtures won't be harmed at all by spending time in an unheated garage even in below freezing weather. I will tell you that I fired my GC when our home was at the dried-in stage. I took over as GC and it took me 11 months to finish it so we could move in. The house is 3200 sq ft heated/cooled plus a 900 sq ft semi-attached garage. It is a neo-Victorian with 3 full baths and two half baths, hardwood and tile floors throughout and lots of wood trim. About 3 months of the 11 was spent fighting with my banker to get him to agree to let us take down the rest of our approved loan without having to hire another builder so that we could get started so you can't really count that. So, 7 months to go from dried-in to move-in which is no land speed record but, having never built a home, I had to figure out what needed to be done and in what order various jobs should be done, then find and vet subcontractors to do each task and learn enough about each job to make sure it was done right before I paid for it. Plus, in order to save money, DH and I did many of the smaller tasks ourselves (i.e., painting walls, staining woodwork, hanging interior doors, installing mirrors and towel racks and cabinets knobs, plus all the CLEANING).... all the while continuing to work full-time at our real jobs. Based on the photos you posted in October, I would have estimated that you were less than month out from being finished, so Christmas should certainly have been especially if you had a builder that was really trying to meet that deadlines and making your home a priority. That you're STILL not ready to move in tells me that your builder isn't making finishing your home a top priority. So, while I can understand that you don't want to ruin the good relationship you have with your builder, it might be time for you to throw just a little bit of a hissy-fit. Just enough to let your builder know that underneath that nice, laid-back exterior you've shown thus far, there lurks a monster that he would really rather NOT have to deal with. Then, calm down and talk about setting some REAL DEADLINES. But keep your voice just strained enough that he realizes you've been pushed as far as you will go and that you're holding yourself back from ripping into him. And, once he gives you a new deadline, insist that he break it down into smaller steps for you with individual deadlines to prove that the overall deadline is realistic. And, once you have those, insist that he call or email you every single evening (Mon-Fri) with a quick update on exactly what got done that day so that you can see he is staying on track. You don't have to be harsh and totally unyielding but it is time to be a little bit less laid back! Or, maybe you and your spouse could pull a variation of the good cop/bad cop routine. Stage a "major fight" between the two of you that you allow your builder to overhear wherein spouse screams hysterically at you that she (he?) is sick and tired of this long drawn-out building crap and that if this house is NOT finished so that you can move in by such-and-such a date, she is "out of here" and you're going to have hell-to-pay getting the loan to close (or whatever) so that builder can be paid IF she walks out and files for divorce. If your builder is a half-way decent guy, he is not going to want to be responsible for causing a divorce. And he is not going to like the idea that your spouse filing for a divorce could cause a delay in him getting his final payments once he does finish the house. Maybe the combination will cause him to give finishing your home a higher priority. Good luck and I definitely don't want to see that decorated porta-potty again NEXT year.

I've always noticed that Chic-fil-a always has polite efficient staff. Other places not so much. And I agree these places are not meant to be careers. I know there are people with families on fixed incomes, but they are the ones qualifying for free schooling. So take advantage and make a change. When I went to school (trade) I was one of 2 people that did not get any assistance. I had to take out two loans. My single mom made too much. The kids that got their school for free didn't always take it seriously and some even just stopped showing up. So I don't know. More and more people want something for nothing. And the more you give them the less they want to earn it. Ok the cost of living has gone up but pay has stayed the same. But if they start increasing everyone things will go up even more. And how is it fair for fast food workers to get the same pay or maybe even more as say an EMS worker? How do you compare making a burger to helping save someone's life?

Cran, I am sorry to hear you have lupus. I hope yours is in remission. Mine presently is and it makes such a difference! I had a very long remission, 27 years until my stroke. For years I needed only survalance after initially, at 23, needing prednisone for kidney issues. Insoluble fiber acts just like resistance starch. So, I saw Dr. Kreigel' team at Yale but he recently left to work with Roche to develop possible treatment or vaccine for lupus so now I see a colleague of his. It is very hard to alter our flora but studies of high fiber diets and lower sugar were proven to work for matabolic syndrome, i.e. Type 2 diabetes, so it was suggested I beef up my fiber intake to atleast 20 grams a day. I eat two cups of all bran with unsweetened rice milk every day and have a bowl of steel cut oats for an afternoon snack to hit almost 30 grams of fiber. The rest of my diet is normal fruit, fish, veggies, yogurt, some treats, potatoes and pasta so the bran and oats are the change I made. Resistance starch is in pasta and potatoes and many other foods. Pasta and potatoes cooled after cooking are supposedly higher in resistance starch than heated is. Yams are a good source. I like to use food sources more than supplements. High fiber, low fat and sugar diets are proven to help maintain health and diverse gut bacteria. Fiber, (resistance starches) are considered prebiotics which feed the good bacteria while sugar and fat feed the unhealthier ones. Also have your vitamin d regularly checked. Insufficiency is linked to higher lupus and Antiphospholipid antibodies and thus flares. I now supplement for mine was low. xo

I never read the original thread in September. Maybe I was banned in that period. We've been watching a lot of Netflix in the last few weeks since TV programming is all reruns. We watched both seasons of The Crown which we loved and both seasons of the Kominsky Method. Also loved it, but tonight we were looking for an hour-long show before bed. So I remembered the recent mention of this here and we watched it. I liked it a lot and can't wait to watch all eight episodes. Great acting. I'll have to google this and find out details.