Lots of things bring me happiness. Of course seeing our kids and grandkids thriving and happy brings me great joy. And being with them does too.

My own well being makes me so happy, especially when I see that others my age aren’t so lucky. DH and I have taken care of ourselves as far as our health and fitness is concerned, and I do think genetics plays a part, but just to know we have worked hard, worked smart, invested wisely, and now have a secure retirement makes us enjoy life.

I am happy in retirement that I can enjoy my friends, both old and new, do volunteer things as I had planned, spend more time in my gardens at home, and spend more good times with DH, both at home and traveling. I just enjoy some mornings having a cup of coffee and reading a book while we do nothing for a couple of hours.

My work in recovery brings me happiness. Getting outside of myself and offering reassuring words and interventions redeems my life. By saving others, I'm also saving myself.

Sue, I understand, having gone/going through similar. I have an adult son who has his own set of problems and issues. I pray that he will be able to live a fulfilling life in the future. Right now, we struggle with him living with us. But away, he may not be living at all, so our lives are different to most :)

Joy from others is indeed contagious....especially when we're related to them! I miss my daughters in California greatly...but I know they're happy there.

Dogs...yes dogs bring me happiness. It's the unconditional love they give. And the dependency, I guess... if I'm to be honest.

Nannygoat, yes. Doing for others is necessary for me, too. Although you're going above where a lot of us are able to go. Bless you.

First and foremost, my family. My kids, my grandbaby and my DH.

I love my animals, but they don't always make me happy-lately they've been making me pretty upset (the cats antagonize Tux, who thinks they're playing and Aurora is just a grump and is jealous of Tux so she barks alot).

I think the things that make me happy are a good conversation with someone who can offer different perspectives. Trying new food (especially when it's good!). Teaching something to someone is also something that makes me very happy. Picking up litter. Yep. I hate litter so picking it up and properly disposing of it brings me joy! I'm such a weirdo!

Seeing someone's pet when out for a walk and stopping to visit with it is another thing that makes me happy.

A good ice soy latte. A seldom heard song by a favorite band. A kiss on the forehead. Those are some of my little pleasures of happiness too.

My "people" meaning my hubby and furbaby, who is very much a part of the family. Then my extended family (sibs and my dad). My dad is 88 years old, has had some health issues this past year but his outlook is remarkable. He rarely, and I mean rarely, complains. He brightens my day and I hope I follow in his shoes. Our home is my happy place. Being outdoors. Water, be it the lake, ocean, a mountain stream, whatever. It brings such peace. Music. Spending time with good friends. Makes me realize I have much to be thankful for. (My3Dogs, I love your response! I work part-time, but will be retiring within the year also. Yippee!!)

Family of course! And my pets!

That most of the times these days I can pay my bills and even on time! That brings a smile to my face right away.

A beautiful sunny warm slightly breezy day. Particularly where I can see all the sailboats on the ocean and feel the cooling ocean breezes. I love Vancouver!

My daughter and my cats. My faith. The gift of a new day, esp. the morning. DIY projects that turn out okay. Baroque and early music.

To me, happiness isn't of the same depth as contentment or joy. I find that even at times when I'm not particularly happy, I'm still aware that I'm deeply contented. I tend to think of happiness as that fleeting emotion that ebbs and flows, while contentment and real joy of the soul are deeply rooted and a much more integral part of my being.

Ida, I totally agree with you re happiness vs contentment. I'm happy when my daughter tells me of something good that's happened in her life, or when I get that piece of art hung in *exactly* the right place. But contentment is solid and abiding. I can feel it in the core of my being, a feeling of being right with the world.

Yeah ... it's like the old hymn says, It is well with my soul.

:-)

But contentment is solid and abiding. I can feel it in the core of my being, a feeling of being right with the world.

And that grounding lasts beyond the happiness. When things have gone very wrong, the core contentment has allowed me to face the difficulties with a sense of peace and calm. Of course I have not been tested in every possible way. But trust me, there have been some pretty serious and long tests.

What brings that feeling, how to cultivate it, these are questions I have grappled with so much since becoming a parent.

It’s simple right now. I expect that to change in the future.

One place that I think my life balance is out of whack is actually in generosity. I feel like I’ve been very self focussed for the past year and I would like to change that.

Also my husband told me recently that I have been very negative about our house, which we both honestly like very much, but I can always see room for improvement. So I am trying to be much more grateful for my great house and the comfort in which we live. Honestly in the seven years since we moved in, nothing has come up in my price range that would make us move.

robo, no, that picture of happiness will not change in the future.

This is such an excellent question and any query that helps one to reflect on the positives, joy and happiness in life can help turn around our perspective (if needed). It is easy to get caught up in negativity.

My family also comes in first, especially my younger son who struggled a lot through school (and who was a challenge from day one!). He has turned into the most delightful, helpful, hard working, caring adult. My older son has Down syndrome and so although he is an adult, he is very childlike in many ways...good ways. Right now he is beyond excited for his birthday on Saturday. My husband also makes me laugh all the time (I'm always quoting Jessica Rabbit).

My dogs of course! Including the grand dog there are 3.

My home and garden, and puttering around in them.

Good books...love the monthly book thread.

I had to leave my job teaching preschool in January due to health reasons. That was REALLY hard as I loved the job and my colleagues. But I have enjoyed having more time to myself and I think it makes me much kinder and more patient. So currently I'm happily unemployed, however that feeling changes by the week.

As an introvert, I don't have a wide circle of friends, but I cherish the close relationships with the few I have.

Also as an introvert, this forum has been an interesting outlet for me socially. I don't post much (almost never!), but I read it almost every day and feel like I know and trust the people here. I have learned so much from everyone on so many topics. I am trying to dip my toe in to posting more but generally feel like I don't have a whole lot more to offer...so many wise people here.

Thank you all and especially pennydesign for this thread!

I'm sure I'm not alone in hoping that you do post more often, jmck. I have to say that this is the kinder side of the forum and I'm comfortable posting here, too (also an introvert and totally agree with you on so much...I'm currently not working--HATE to say that I'm retired, for many reasons mostly my own issues.)..anyway I'm kind of stuck, so posting and reading here is good for me, too. Plus I figure that if I post enough, then folks here will understand me and take what I say as simply a personality quirk, rather than a stranger saying dumb stuff!

I think you do have a lot to offer...

A lot of things make me happy but the first thing that came to me is a small one. Sometime in the evening my DH folds down my side of the bed. After many years of marriage it still brings a big smile every night.

Quiet Sunday mornings with my husband, good coffee, he makes breakfast, some light jazz playing, and something good to read.

Eandhi, mine does that, too. It's so sweet. Also I get a kiss and a cup of tea in bed every weekend to wake up to.. I just adore that man.

Oh Em11, mine does that, too! On weekend mornings, he loves to make us breakfast. I'll set the table, make the coffee, and act as sous chef if he needs me to chop anything. He turns on some music (Vivaldi, mellow jazz or whatever) and we'll chat and read the paper while we eat. During the warmer months, we may take trays out onto our front portal or to our walled garden if the weather is good. I love our weekend breakfasts together! Happy times!

Wow, the list is long. I think I will divide it into 4 broad categories.

The love and companionship of family, friends and pets.

Nature. Snowstorms, thunderstorms, starry skies. Peonies and hydrangea. Big old trees. The ocean, babbling brooks. The impossibly green grass after a summer rain. Birds nests. Moss gardens. The views from my windows.

Achievement. Doing a good job at something. Making pretty cookies. Cooking a fine meal for a dinner party. Contributing at work. Learning something new. Designing our homes and gardens. Teaching my kids. Tackling something I could not do before.

Hedonism. Sleeping in when it rains. Sleeping in when it does not rain. Warm baths, Really good gourmet food. Massages. Toast with butter. Reading a good book.

I've actually been thinking long and hard about this for awhile now. Turning sixty is turning me into a bit of a philosopher. I've decided that I need to things in my life right now, to ensure happiness. One is Connection. The other is Adventure. Connection to not only the people and animals with whom I share love and/or intense affection, but the things I connect to, like books, music, quilting, and the outdoors. Adventure means taking the occasional trip, eating in a new restaurant, cooking new recipes, going to a concert, etc. I've always had a restless spirit, I think, though not in ways that would look obvious to anyone. We've lived in this house twenty+ years, I've been married for thirty years, I have lifelong friends.... but restless in a way that leaves me always questioning, "Should there be more? What else should I be doing?" I envy people who seem more happily settled than I am able to be.

Ha! Bestyears, I know what you mean about milestone birthdays making you more intentional, sharpening the focus. I'll be 50 next month and have been pondering a lot.

..penny I just wanted to thank you for this thread

I'm having some hard time lately and it gets progressively worse..in terms of mood

my reactions to everything written here(and not only here. and not only now. but this hit me hard) were inappropriate, inexplicable sadness.

it made me realize, for the first time in weeks, that it's out of my control, it's past anything I can rationalize, past my fighting it. Past some point de suture.

I had it happen before, several times, as a reaction to different medications. One was absolutely horrid. I'll never forget it. It took me less time to figure it out then, or, I tell you, I'd be dead within a week, It was hell. I knew quite a bit about clinical depression-I didn't know for real until I was having one. You're ready to jump out of the window of burning building-not because you want to die but because burning alive is scarier. It's lucky that I got this precious first-hand experience-and still got to live and to tell the story and to understand so much better what happens to others. To understand why they say "I'm so scared, I'm so scared, I'm so scared"

Because it was pills. 1% of patients react this way to the medicine. I fell into unfortunate 1%...

But it meant- I could stop taking them . which I did, and then was another 2 or 3 weeks until they left my body, but I had my explanation and my hope.

I was given some new pills that I take for maybe 6 weeks now. They're important ones. Nothing to do with anything remotely neurological or psychiatrical.

They probably have more release time and more of this building up effect.

I put two and two together, finally, while I was reading here and crying.

all that I think, how bad am I, whether I do something or don't do it, all the traumas of the past, all the struggles as of now, all the things I'm not proud of or torn about-it all might be true. But it's not the reason for this growing darkness. No rhyme no reason to it.

The new freaking pills are.

It's strange that the thread about happiness was eventually the one that helped me to connect the dots.

I'll stop taking them as of tomorrow. It'll take me time probably, but I'll snap out of this. They'll figure out something else, pharmaceutially speaking, I don't care.

So it's not like I'm happy, this brain chemistry is complicated thing-but I'm a bit happier now, because I have hope.

you opened the thread for your own reasons, and everyone answered for theirs. But you -and everybody who wrote here-you saved me, in a way.

Just by happening to be here, at a certain time in a certain place.

We don't always know when we harm people. We don't always know when we save them. Maybe we know even less about the latter one.

But it's important to know. Sometimes.

That's why I wrote this. So you'd know.

Thank you

April, I don't know what to say except that I have been affected by people who have no idea. Something said, a kind word...It would be embarrassing for both of us to point it out as it wouldn't have made sense to them, I think. One was a stranger...

Anyway. Yes. Medication can do strange things and I think that, very very frequently, we only think that a medication for a physical ailment would affect us physically (as far as side effects go...) But it's not just physical side effects, is it? It's neurological. Neurological side effects go unnoticed a lot, I think. Nobody can put two and two together because, well, we can't.

You need to be in certain place in order to take care of yourself.....If you're not at that place, you won't care. This bit, I speak from experience.

It's so very important to have a loved one be caretaker (as far as watching us for unusual behavior or moods) for us, temporarily. Someone needs to know. I get that we don't want to bother anyone--or we think it's unimportant--or we think we're adults and we know what we're doing! But if anything affects your moods or thinking, we may not be aware.

I do hope that (please don't think this too forward) you research the heck out of what you need to take before taking it. And I would be lost without my journal!! All things go into it. So that someone else can know, no matter what happens to me.

Don't disappear from here, April, in any degree. You're a ray of sunshine in this place.

April, please don't stop your medication without consulting your physician as some need to be tapered off.

You never know what's coming around the corner, wishing you better times ahead.

Thank you very much for your kindness..I'm grateful more than I can currently express.

April, you are a breath of fresh air here. I hope your complicated medical issues can be managed so you, too, will be able to write about your happiness, or at least finding your peace.

April, I hope you start feeling better soon. I very much understand where you are coming from. I am glad this thread helped you.

We all love you! You are such a sweet woman. Hang in there. The darkness won't last forever.

..you're too kind

now I'm horrified I hijacked the thread

I love you too

Don't be. We're good... :)

So, I think happiness is a sum of parts. I get joy in certain things, but to be a happy person, I need all of the parts to be there (not totally complete, but at least in progress or possible).

Can we be totally alone and happy? I'm thinking no...

I'm a pretty happy person. I think it's because I've lived through a lot of adversity including life threatening illness so I'm just happy to wake up to another fine day. Today I'm happy because it's a beautiful sunny day and I have the day off. Just looking out the window, having the windows open and leisurely enjoying a cup of coffee is wonderful.

It makes me happy when DH is thoroughly enjoying something - hard to describe but he's very easy to read and sometimes he's just in "hog heaven" about something and it makes me happy.

It also makes me happy to do something that makes someone else's day a better day. Sometimes it's a specific gesture but sometimes it's just being a friendly, happy upbeat person with others I encounter. I always enjoy it when I cross paths with someone who is genuinely nice, friendly and happy and I like to be one of those people myself.

My cats do cute, sweet things nearly every day and it always brings me joy and a smile to my face.

Any kind of natural beauty makes me happy - from a sunset across the lake or a beautiful snowy day to an egret or heron in the pond behind our house.

I'm another person who has no immediate family other than DH. I also am the kind of person who has a few close friends vs. a circle of many people I get together with regularly. I've always been someone who can be quite happy by myself though I do enjoy socializing with others. Maybe it comes from growing up in the country with no sisters, brothers who were 6 & 12 years older than me and no other kids anywhere nearby.

April ((((((((((((((( hugs )))))))))))))))))).

April - Thank you for your honesty. I know you think that this thread was sort of an unforeseen blessing to you, but the fact that you spoke your truth was also very likely an unforeseen blessing to someone else. I hope it won't be long at all before you're feeling on even ground again.

((April))

Normal days. Not long ago, my DH has very serious health issues and we nearly lost him twice. Normal days are a gift.

Nature. A quiet morning working in my backyard. Buying a fat healthy new perennial and planting it in the dirt. Cutting some of my flowers to make an arrangement for my dining room table.

Semiretirement. I’ve been semi retired for 3 years after working 45 years and still can’t believe the riches of spare time. Time to NOT rush thru chores, to go out to a leisurely lunch or a long walk.

It makes me happy when DH goes to church with me. I love hearing him recite the Lords Prayer beside me.

Two sons who are FINALLY mature adults and self sufficient. Both married with children now with the possibilities of more.

Stability. I have lived in this community for 45 years. I know people at the grocery store and the bank and on the street, and when someone says, remember when such -and- such happened, I do. Quite a change from my childhood (I attended 13 different schools before graduating from high school.) I used to yearn for a place to belong.

I'm finding that more and more I'm clashing with people...(even on the "other" side of this website)...I could avoid or I could make my voice heard. What's better to do? Where's the line that separates MY happiness and someone else's?

Penny, ask yourself these 3 questions: does something need to be said? Does it need to be said right now? And does it need to be said by me?

I feel ya, Penny. And to be perfectly honest, at times when I'm feeling at my most insecure and vulnerable is often when I feel I want to "argue" more with others. It's like there's this driving need to make my voice heard ... to prove my point ... to show someone else that I exist and matter. And I'm flippin right, dammit. It seems pretty silly to actually write down such a thought, but there you have it. I still struggle with this, but am getting better about taking a deep breath and realizing that this desire to engage will pass. And when it passes and I've kept my cool, not fired back, not written churlish things or responded with a sarcastic word, not attempted something stupidly punitive in traffic when that self-centered jerk cut me off ... well, I'm all the better for it. My dignity is preserved, and my sense of self-worth is actually heightened -- I am happier -- which would not have been the case, had I opted to engage. Choosing my battles is of vital importance to me, and even though I still fail too often to get it right, thank heaven above I'm making strides. I'm also realizing more and more that what feel like battles at the time are nothing more than insignificant little blips of annoyance that quickly fade into nothingness.

Hope this makes sense.

We in the United States have the right to pursue happiness; but I believe our personal right should not impede the personal rights of others to pursue THEIR happiness.

Kind of like smoking, I guess. Sure, you can smoke to your heart’s content, but not if your smoke impedes on MY right to clean air.

It’s an ethical question, I think. Do people have the right to pursue their own happiness at the expense of others? I don’t feel like I do.

I hear all of you...

The problem is that not everyone feels the same, so, ethical is right.

This thread, for example :) To take this whole thing to the extreme..this thread makes me happy. However, there will be people who see it popping back up to the top and will be rolling their eyes...

(Please..this is a blown up example and not to be taken literally....)

Drawing the line--heck, figuring out WHERE to draw the line is a part of happiness...

FWIW I fail at this constantly. I've probably said "I'm sorry", and blamed myself more than anyone else on the planet.

April, I have been where you are now. It's an awful place. Do what you need to do to make yourself safe and well.

My response to this kind of query is usually "my life has been interesting". And it has. Always interesting, some great, some good and some pretty terrible. Threads I guess to the overall tapestry that ends up being my life.

My children are my joy. They came from different places, different mothers and at different times and ages. Their history, their own tapestries, include this mama and for that I am eternally grateful. For each other, their bond is remarkable and profound. And that is joy. Even through the divorce, they were there for each other. Divorce is never easy.

my one and only grandbaby Parker Noelle, envelopes my entire heart. I wish I could see her every day. What is also remarkable is watching her mama do the mothering. My oldest child is a wonderful mother, today is her birthday, she is 32.

Recovery is an ongoing endeavor and one I am thankful for. My own physical and mental health issues are...a challenge. I have convinced myself that my own understanding of those issues can only be a good thing. And I am so very glad that I am not where I was at in October '14, 51/50ed in a lockdown psychiatric facility. I am alive. And I think that's a good thing.

And there is Leo. My little 10lb Bichon. I could not have made this move across the country without him. He gets me up every morning, knows what to do if a panic attack comes on and loves me unconditionally. For Leo, life is pretty simple. Food, sleep and his human. I am glad to be his human.

my huge extended family. Most especially my parents. Both still living. Both still married. To each other, lol. Next year will be 60years. I wish I could see them more often but flights to Ireland aren't cheap. Maybe later this year I will get back there.

Life has been...colorful, joyous, invigorating. And interesting.

Lots of things bring me happiness. I love animals, meeting new people, projects, family...but, right now I'm enjoying being outdoors in Maine. Lovely state! It was meant to rain yesterday but ended up being beautiful. Today looks a little cloudy so might go for a little drive around Desert Island. Suggestions welcome!

A really good farm to table type restaurant for lunch that's outside this tourist hot spot (Bar Harbor) would make me Very happy.

There are a lot of things, but I was surprised at how attached I became to the cat.

Some of the other things that make me happy like flawless execution of design projects and cleanliness are kinda problematic :-/

The things $ can't buy. Being with people you love. Peace of mind. Making memories. Catching special moments and holding on tight. Making a difference in someone's life. Not being afraid. Seeing the beauty in everything. All while knowing you have to feel the sadness in order to feel the joy and happiness of life.

Someone said it above: routine. I like a structured environment with "space" built in, and the years when my kids were in school and DH worked outside the house made me very happy. (Not that I was glad to be rid of them! Well, maybe...But the routine of coming and going and running the household around that, made me happy.)

The last few years have been, on the other hand, chaotic in time and in events (right down to the changes in GardenWeb) and I have not been happy. My son heads back to college in a month, and while I should be happy that he seems to be back on track, "seems to be" is the important phrase there. I will continue to worry and be keeping tabs. And, there will be the loss of the routines that arose the past couple of months. I need to establish new routines, which is not easy for a lot of reasons.

Something that makes me happy in the moment is sitting by a lake. And I love my town. As I go about my day I feel the connection people have for one another, for the communities around us, for the greater world, and for the integration of life and design. When we moved here, DH and I said we were spoiling our children! that they would think every town would, or should, be like this.

Happiness: Friends. That's most important. The outdoors, even though I have knee surgery issues that make really enjoying walking and hiking through the woods here more problematic. Good books. Oh, again, outdoors: I am raising chickens. This is also a part of my happiness. They talk to me, and I talk back. I am glad to have them here. I am glad to have my friends nearby.

Artemis, when do you expect eggs?

I never thought a chicken could make me smile, but when my daughter got hers, I found excuses to go to her house...

I think pets are so important...When I don't have any, I forget how important they are...We rarely have none, though :)

I have heard, and I have even said "Do (find) that which makes you happy"...I'm thinking more and more, that I have to focus on the verbs in that sentence. It is work, in a way. Searching and finding and keeping "that"...It is work that should be pleasurable, but work nonetheless.

Pets. We have two cats. I love cats, I'm the reason these two are in our house. Are they grateful? No, they are cats. One decided he is my DH's dog, the other cat has given herself to our son, sprawling on his desk, computer, bed, squeezing beside him on his desk chair, napping on the legs of the chair while he sits above, and when it's too hot she's sprawled on the nightstand at night. Maybe I'll get a chicken.

My marriage makes me very happy these days. We've been together 35 years, married 32 and although I never got to the teetering edge of leaving, I've long had a lot of strain accepting my husband's quirks--and he mine. Somehow though, the past few years seem to have brought our marital canoe out of the rapids of life and into a clear free easy flowing stream ;).

I suppose part of it is that life is so much *easier* now that our kids are grown and leading happily independent, but emotionally connected to us, lives. Everything from the logistics of running a household to having so much more time and energy to focus on us as a couple-it's all quite wonderful.

We unexpectedly but joyously bought the vacation/retirement home of our dreams a little over a year ago and it's given us such a wonderful shared happiness! It really kick started the concrete plan to retire, and we share a delight and quiet satisfaction in being there that has brought us closer together. It's got some features we never had in our primary home that are definitely upgrades and it's clean, calm sunny space soothes my heart as soon as I walk in the door. And I get to have that feeling, along with a secret jolt of joy that I'm on 'vacation', every single Friday when we go there.

And aside from the house itself, of course the location is also a huge source of happiness; the weather has been perfect for diving the past few weeks although we loved the cool fall and winter months too. I love, love, love the ocean and now we are on an island, 2 minutes by boat away from being in the ocean ourselves.

The other night we were talking about plans and he said, in a wondering/marveling tone "we have everything don't we". I have to agree, we do.

My children bring me such happiness, it's a daily pleasure to know they have grown up to be good, happy, self supporting people. I love that they connect just to talk, and that I can still give advice but now I can ask it too--and get thoughtful and helpful responses in return.

And like many others, routine makes me happy. I love the feeling every night of settling into my cozy bed, with the perfectly placed lamp, to read until I feel myself settle into drowsiness, then turn out the light and drift off to sleep.

Here's a weird one. Alexa makes me happy. I know some do not like the idea that she is "listening in", but I'm not saying anything she can't hear. I love that I can tell her goodnight and she turns off all the living room lights and turns on my bedroom. I love that I can tell her to turn off the bedroom lamp without reaching out and disrupting my calm, relaxed feeling. I love telling her what to put on my shopping list for a variety of stores I frequent. I love having her set a timer for me when I am cooking or if I'm catching a few minutes to read but don't want to realize I've lost a whole afternoon to a good book. I love asking her to play a song I'm obsessed with. She is a handy little gadget and I am NOT a gadget person.

God, Children, Husband and my Cat make me so happy. I love sitting and looking at my scrapbooks. I love eating a nice meal with my family even when we’re debating. I love traveling and seeing new places. I love seeing my relatives and sending them nice cards.

I also love to bbq...it makes me happy to paddle board and then bbq and watch a good movie.