Every time I buy a new ornament I buy it in 3, so that someday each of our three children will have their own set. They are all adults, one still in college, and so far no one is married or has shown the slightest inclination to have his or her own tree. But the one year I didn't have a tree they acted as if the world were coming to an end! I'm going to start the giveaway this year though, giving the woodland animals made of wood and straw (that we used on an outdoor tree one year) to my DD. We have many boxes of Christmas but use most of it every year. I admire those who can successfully downsize their holiday. I sometimes have visions not of sugarplums, but of me at age 90, creakily hanging tiny German knitted sweaters and wooden nutcrackers on a tree.

Since there doesn't appear to be an abuse pattern, I wouldn't think your friend is yet suffering from the low self esteem or even the 'I must have started it' syndrome that many abused woman feel. That's a chronic problem and almost becomes inbreed in chronically abused woman. What it sounds like your friend is dealing with is more of a "crime of passion" type of abuse which can sometimes be even more dangerous than a chronic abuser. The violent outbursts can often act up for the first time during divorces proceedings too. Obviously, she probably did something wrong by carrying on with another man (and some could say she has even been emotionally abusing her husband by having this 'affair'), so she probably does feel some real guilt. Obviously nothing she could have done would ever give him the right to physically hurt her. But her guilt is real and NOT the same thing as a typical chronic abused woman who really doesn't do 'anything' wrong, but blames herself anyway. Your friend just has misplaced REAL guilt that needs to be directed and understood better. In other words, she needs to understand that two wrongs don't make a right.... Not think that her wrong caused his (which it probably did) so that his is jusitified. It doesn't make it justified no matter how wrong what she did was. And this isn't about your friend's case.. but I would like to point out one thing that I don't think some here may realize, but there are abuse cases where women themselves do start the physical abuse. I know a girl who got very violent when she got drunk and would go at boyfriend's with knives and such. The guys were always the one's that got in trouble. I do understand that women should never be hit for any reason, but please understand that women are not always the only victim in abuse cases. They are capable of starting physical fights too; I think that may be what some mean when they say you may not know the whole story, or that there are always two sides. Of course there's no reason to ever hit anyone... but have you ever had to get away from someone trying to kill you? Abuse can go both ways -- and sometimes there really is another side.

Actually in most states its considered abuse if a person restrains another unless they are being hit. So the charges are well deserved. You cannot be the only one to take ownership for your actions he needs to also or it will never go away! You really need to consider going to couples counseling having a third party help you guys work out your issues and anger. I must also say I have worked in counseling offices for years mostly anger management and domestic violence counseling. I am not a counselor I first will say but I sat in on the classes. For you to say the group you were in fed you well you had to be stretching the truth with them for them to believe that he truely abused you if he did not that or you are lieing on the boards! I don't mean to be rude but domestic violence is a serious issue not some ploy to use to get attention. I should know my kids dad tried to kill me and stalked me for several years. I find it kind of insulting that you blame it on a group though I was not there in most groups they don't just gang up on someone to convience them their spouse is abusive unless they have reason to. Not only that but you were not an offender and chose to go to a group for victims. It was not forced on you. If he is truly wrong in what happened making excuses and taking the blame upon yourself helps no one in the long run. If he has done it once and you take blame he will do it again. So you really need to be honest with yourself to figure out what the truth really is maybe counseling.

Our neighborhood doesn't have many signs, but the ones that are up are for Hillary. Though our town is largely made up of Democrats, it is interesting to see that the few people on our block that had Romney signs four years ago do not have Trump signs this time around.