Well slept on the couch last night ( what a joy) after yet another arguement about S.D. with my wife. This last week has been filled with the same crap different day. So heres the scenerio. My wife and I work differing shifts most of the time, so I end up spending most of the time with my S.d. After school and evenings, my wife works mainly 4 - midnight shifts. Last week was more of just the same, my s.d talking to me anyway she feels like it ( totally no respect ) and a week of mainly all out battles between us. Yesterday, i argued with her for 4 hours trying to get her to clean her room, when i can't see the floor and there are dirty dishes in there, its time for her to clean it, finally i just gave up told her to do whatever she wants, live like a pig, i'm beyond caring, and i stopped talking to her for the day. Now over the week she had lost her computer time, phone time and tv time for lying to us about her school homework ( telling us it was all done, after parent teacher confrence we found out she had not been doing any of it ) she ended up grounded. Anyways, wife comes home, s.d comes out of room, talking as sweet as ever, Oh hi daddy blah blah blah, i just said uh huh. after an hour, i went in the computer room, there my wife on her computer and my s.d on my computer. I said um excuse me your not allowed on the computer and after a day like we had, dont' expect to be on there for a long time. Well that was a mistake, wife turns around says she's doing her homework, and I just laughed, shook my head and walked out. next thing i know my wife is yelling at me cause i'm not allowing s.d. to do her homework, and i told her what kind of day we had and it didn't matter. I told her once again that she has NO idea wht i put up with on a daily basis, my son 16 years old pipes up, ummm ( wifes name ) she talks to dad with totally no respect when your not here, wife tells son to shut up that he treats s.d with no respect either, to which i replied, well when she learns to talk to people with respect, maybe she'd get some back. Suddenly wife yells she has had enough and her and the s.d are leaving ( moving out ) So i decided to sleep on the couch. So now what??? Been thinking about it most of the night, personally i think it might be a relief to all concerend it it happened. Much as I love my wife, and I know she loves me, we can't continue like this. I know i will never accept anyone talking to me like my s.d does, and if my son was talking to my wife that way, well lets just say son would be very bored for the next two months. My wife says, well your the adult, my s.d says you can't do anything to me cause mom will just move out. HELPPPPPPPPPPPP. I'm so tired of being stressed, i think everyone is, is there any solutuiont o this, or am I just wasting my time in something that is never going to change.

You're not failing as a parent because you aren't a parent. That responsibility belongs to his father & to his mother, absentee though she may be. This little boy sounds like a very angry person, & there's a reason, there's always a reason. Your family might benefit from professional help (although I hate to say that-it seems like "counselling" is always the recommendation for everything from screaming hysteria to broken fingernails). People don't just make up new behaviors; they learn them; is this boy mimicking the way he sees you treated at home? How does your boyfriend interact with you? Do your views matter? Does he repeat what you've said or contradict that you've said? So often, we women think we're married or "as good as", & in fact our partners have no such illusions; many times I've heard girls & women talk about their partners, & in the conversation it becomes obvious to everyone except the woman involved that she's a live-in, a babysitter, a resource that comes in handy. I'm not criticizing; I've been there, done that, & paid for everybody else's tee shirt. You've taken a great deal of responsibility off the boyfriend's shoulders, & unless you have his respect & his wholehearted support, this will get much much worse. The two of you already have a child together, you're taking care of his son, & yet you aren't protected by marriage. How much does that sound like a committed, loving partnership between equals? If your boyfriend walks in front of a bus, what happens to you & your daughter? What happens to this little boy? You've got an awful lot on your plate, & you absolutely need back-up at home & the security of a committed partner. I wish you the very best.

Thank you all so much! Son and DIL live about 3 hours away, and he works two jobs--one as paramedic, and the other as a firefighter, so he sometimes calls between runs. They have no children yet but he is very good with my grandson, his nephew. My son was in the military for 7 years and didn't get home much, but my grandson has always been very comfortable with him--never any 'stranger anxiety.' My younger daughter was visiting this week-end and helped me stack brush today, and elder daughter and SIL painted one of the bathrooms. All great kids! (Grandson's favorite JT song is Mockingbird, so it has become a tradition. :)

This is really a decorating question so I suggest you ask in the Home Decorating forum. There are a lot of color experts there. I did make you a few mockups of affinity colors. Sorry, I do not know how to make them smallerCALIENTE CROQUETPEAU DE SOIETRUFFLE