I'll kick off by saying that yesterday we made a monetary donation in memory of Pip to a small, local cat rescue organization. It gave me a good deal of joy to be able to do that. DH and I are also talking about him - a lot - and I'm sure as time goes on we will continue to have our memories sparked and we will still speak of him. Remembering his countless funny little quirks will help keep him alive in our hearts.

I must say it's hard to come home and not have him there. Of course, as pets reach old age we realize that the inevitable will happen sooner rather than later, but there was something so very right about having my little "brood" all around, in the same room, day after day after day. And now that dynamic is no more.

I think it helps to have friends and colleagues who are like-minded when it comes to their pets. When I arrived at work yesterday morning, my colleagues had left a sweet sympathy card and a beautiful bouquet of flowers on my desk. Of course, it was such a touching gesture that I had to fight off the desire to ugly cry all over again.

We have had to cope with the loss of many cats over the years and I found that each time was different. I simply did what felt right for me at the time, whether that was to distract myself, give in to the sadness, talk or be silent. It isn't easy but it can be simple. Heartfelt condolences to you and DH. ((Idaclaire))

My heart goes out to all who have lost a pet. It's been years since we lost our dog, and then 5 years now since our last 2 cats. It is so hard and I still miss them immensely.

With our last cat who died, (and his littermate had died 3 months earlier, so he was already heartbroken) we had to make a decision about him because we were flying from WA to WI for Christmas to be with our daughter and her family. He was clearly going away from us, but I felt so awful because I felt the decision was rushed. It was an abrupt break in our routine to be gone, but being away for a week or so really did help.

I do realize everyone can't just leave their homes when a pet dies. And of course it was still very hard when we got home and I thought I caught a glimpse of one of them in their favorite places. One thing I did to help was to go through a bunch of pictures of both our cats and I made an album with those.

Ida, I'm so sorry about your kitty! It's always so hard.

Donna

I don't know that anything specific has helped me accept those losses except day-by-day moving through the sadness. I've seen cats and dogs confused by the sudden loss of one of their housemates and friends. When we had our Cajun put down, before we buried him we brought him into the house. Leo, our son's cat had been living with us for a year and a half at that point and we knew he'd feel the loss. So we placed Cajun on his bed and let Leo come to say goodbye. He sniffed, he circled, watched him for a few minutes then walked away. Animals may not have our concept of death but they certainly have their own understanding and Leo knew Cajun wasn't coming back.

I think about our Black Lab Kramer almost daily. Got a mini schnauzer immediately who is a delightful distraction but never to erase Kramer’s memory. Can’t be done. Not sure why this dog had such an effect on me. Grew up with dogs. Then no dogs during my professional days. Kramer was first after the no dog lapse. Maybe that’s why.

ETA: I found this mug when Kramer was a pup. He lived 11 years or so. He’s been gone 8 years, that’s how long I’ve had it.

In our case (the loss of our precious nearly-18-year-old kitty Kenzie 2 1/2 months ago), time has lessened the strength of the grief, which is to say, the impact of it on our daily lives. For whatever reason, I was absolutely consumed with grief for two weeks, reduced to blubbering and tears many times a day, crawling into bed to escape, suffering abdominal discomfort, etc. And all the while, embarrassed about my overarching response. But it is what it is, right? I am still not able to look at photos or videos of her. She was ill for a long time, and I purposefully took many pictures and videos specifically for the future comfort they might bring. But, as it turns out, a short, unintended glimpse of a picture or video causes me immediate terrible sadness.

I have found this song to bring me comfort. It doesn't make me less sad -it just brings me a tinge of comfort somehow. Van Morrison "Reminds Me of You".

Pets do feel loss for one another, at least that's what I have seen with our own pets. Gosh, our two cats who are still here, go looking for one another or sit and meow when they can't find the other.

Our cat Julius (the best cat ever) died 12 years ago and we still occasionally talk about him and still miss him. For us, it was a day to day thing of grieving. We were also dealing with our kids who were 17 and 15 at the time and Julius was 20 when he died. For them, it was almost like losing a sibling.

and the beginning, 4 1/2 years old, multiple liters, heartworm, now home.

Bestyears, when my Skyler kitty had to be put down many years ago, I too went into a 2-week depression. Just spiraled right down and could not seem to get back to a sense of normalcy, with crying jags, sleeping jags, and physical discomfort much as you describe. I really and truly felt like my heart was literally broken! Overarching for some, maybe - but obviously not for us. "It is what it is" is just a very true statement on a lot of things, grief being one of them.

Pip was the most special cat I've ever had, and I think perhaps I still haven't quite accepted that he's gone. Towards the very end when he'd lost a considerable amount of weight (it happened so quickly, damn cancer!), he looked very much like his mama Molly, whom we still have. I've caught a glimpse of her out of the corner of my eye a time or two these last couple of days and instantly thought it was him. It's unnerving, but I suppose it's something that will pass in time.

I appreciate the kind words and comfort shared here. I have friends who are dealing with very big things right now, and I don't want to burden them even more with my sadness over the loss of a cat. It's good to have this place.

I think everyone who loves an animal, loves. That's what counts, not that it's just a cat , or dog, whatever. We grieve because they are our family and everyone grieves differently. I understand bestyears pain and yours so much , it's awful.

When I was young, i had a pet mouse that I still remember and miss. She was tiny but filled with personality. I would stroke her with a small paint brush and she would arch her back and preen.

I'm so sorry, Ida...

It's difficult to adjust and I think we all have to go through grieving on our own time. We lost our beloved Great Pyrenees years ago and I still get teary eyed. When I see one when I'm out I always ask if I can give a hug (of course I tell them I lost mine, first)...It just feels good to me to do so. And I think that is, in a way, the answer. Be kind to yourself and allow yourself to feel whatever you feel without any self-criticism. Emotions are in charge, here, and it's okay to listen to them.

It totally sucks to have to go through this. But it's a payment I'm more than willing to make in order to have the time I did get to have. Other's don't feel the same way, and that's okay.

We had dear Sophie cremated and her ashes were given to us in a lovely cedar box with a tiny padlock (nope...never opened it) and her name engraved on a plate on the top. After so many years, this was the first year that I've been able to have it where it's visible. It doesn't mean as much to me any more and I wonder why I do have it out. I guess I can't fully let go yet.

Should this sound overly emotional and rather strange, I don't care. This is the first of many beloved pets' passing that I've behaved this way over.

I will say that getting to hug the same looking dog is both painful and lovely. So I think that indulging in this way must be right for me.

Bumblebeez, that reminds me of a couple -- no, actually, I think there are three -- Instagram accounts that I follow for pet squirrels! People have rescued baby squirrels and raised them as pets, and it's fascinating to see the photos and videos evidencing that the little creatures that I used to view as annoyances and -- forgive me -- somewhat "expendable" due to how many I see flat on the road daily -- are deeply attached to and engaged with their humans. They have such cute little personalities! I have a completely new appreciation for squirrels now, although the level of scratching and chewing destruction they bring into a house is definitely not for me. ;-)

Several years ago, after much anguish and wrestling with the decision, we had to put our beloved lab down. We were blessed to have had her since puppy-days and was a well loved member of our family for over 12 years.

We chose to bury her in the back yard. After we'd placed her in her final resting spot, and before we filled it, I went inside to bring the 2 mini-dachshunds out to "see" what was going on. At the side of the labs grave, one of the dachshunds (the younger one) wailed. I mean she wailed and howled. The older one, who'd been through loss before, just sat down by the grave and looked on. After a few minutes, she got up, turned around and walked very slowly back to the house.

Afterwards, we humans collected ourselves and went in the house. For days, the younger doxie would run through the house and make crying sounds looking for the lab. The older one would go curl up in the labs' bed, and eventually, the younger would join her. It was hard to observe. I wanted to crawl in the bed with them.

I believe that our animals "feel" loss and perhaps grieve. Whether it for their 4 legged siblings or their humans.

The older doxie, my nick-namesake, was MY dog and I was her person. She was my shadow, my comrade and my love. She's been gone for nearly 6 years, and I STILL look for her. We've had several dogs over the years, and have one now, all of whom I've loved dearly, but my Pudge, she is the one I am still grieving.

It's just heartbreaking to read about these poor, sweet, grieving animals. Just really one more thing that proves how they have unique personalities -- little spirits, I truly believe -- and they feel and process things, very much as we try to do.

Ida, I am so sorry for your loss. We lost our Maggie April of 2017. She was our first dog together as a couple and the first dog for the family. It was difficult. We went through old photo albums and marveled at the pictures of her with us. Seeing us all age together was beautiful but a bit depressing. That in conjunction with her visible decline helped us to accept that it was her time.

She is still running in the woods somewhere:)

I thought it might hurt to look at his photos (OMG, I have so many of him!), and I suppose there is a combination of sadness and longing for him. But mostly, I just marvel at what an amazingly handsome little sir he was, with expressive eyes like big green marbles. My sweet boy. He loved to talk. Talk and talk and TALK so much that sometimes we had to tell him to go upstairs and sort of chase him out of the room to achieve some peace and quiet. He had a lot on his mind, apparently. ;-)

An artist friend did a pencil sketch of him that captured well his inquisitive face.

What a beauty he was. Cats hold the mysteries of the universe in their eyes. I know you have sad times ahead and time is the only healer.

The best thing we found (quite by accident) is to have two. You still have a warm nose and a wiggly tail in the house. Not that it is easy but it's not so "empty". Since 2012, we've lost three -- the first was a 14 year old that we had since he was a pup and finally he got so ill, we had to put him down . . . the second was the dog that helped us get over his loss -- she had a tumor and we didn't have her all that long and the last one was her replacement. We came home from doc appts in the city to find that she had died in the garden while we were gone. Both of those were hard. We waited about a month and then got another dog. They don't "replace" the one we lost but make losing them easier.

This caught my eye...yesterday, my parakeet died. I loved that little guy! He was a lot of fun. I knew something was off with him, so it wasn't surprising. It's always hard to lose a pet, but time does heal and the happy memories remain.

I'm so sorry you lost your kitty Ida. I've found when we have lost one we go all out loving and obsessing over the remaining cats. We also reminisce about all our great memories and sometimes we do look at the old pictures but usually not for at least a few days. I've had three cats for a long time and I always think when one dies I will just have two (which is what I had originally with my first generation cats). However so far when I've been down to two I eventually get another one. It's not right away though as I always think I should stick with two. Once I decide to have three again then I started pondering what kind of poor, homeless orphan I should take in. And I tell myself my departed cat would be happy to know I'm giving a home to another poor soul.

The only thing that really helps is though is the passing of time.

I agree with so many of the comments about other pets. Kenzie was our last in a long line of kitties (up to five at one time), and not having the comfort of another pet in the house probably makes it more difficult. We're traveling quite a bit these days, so just don't know if we can take on another little animal companion right now. I do volunteer at a shelter once/week, and get a bit of a fix there.....

Beautiful kitty, IdaClaire. I’m so sorry, and yes, the sadness can affect us in many ways. Heck, I was a mess this afternoon after DH took our old lab to be boarded while we are on vacation. He is old, the individual dog condos are spacious, cool and wonderful and the people there will love on him and give him exercise. But we will still worry about him.

I know the sorrow you are experiencing. When we lost our 18 year old dog, Gus, I was inconsolable. I ended up writing a poem about him, and that was what helped me. Maybe you can think of some kind of tribute to do for your kitty.

It’s so hard to lose a beloved companion. I remember after putting down my 18-year-old cat I turned to my husband and I asked, why do people even have pets anyway, this sucks so much. We also just had to rehome a cat and that is the very first time I’ve ever given up an animal that way – she was just too scared of the dog and the baby to have a good quality of life, She eventually stopped coming out from the basement - and it caused me sleepless nights of sadness and guilt.

But of course there is so much good to counteract the bad. I don’t think anything really helps except time, and I always do seem to get another pet as well.

Sealavender, I am so sorry.

sealavender, I am sorry about your parakeet. When I was In Jr high I had an adorable parakeet who would fly over and give me kisses when I called him. Still miss that boy.

We lost our dog Lady at age 16. She was suffering from dementia, incontinence and hearing loss. It was probably past time, but I was a bit of a holdout. When the day came, I felt like we were doing the right thing. She just had a look in her eyes that said "I'm tired and I've had enough." The vet came to the house, and she passed with her head in DH's lap.

We buried her in the yard, and for quite a while, I talked to her when I was out there. I think knowing that the time was right, helped the grief. We also left town for a week, the next day. I think having something else to focus on was good, instead of sitting home staring at the wall.

September will be two years, and while I often think of her, I'm no longer sad. She had a good life, I think, and now she's with her friend and her aunts who went before her.

I read this thread expecting to see pix of Pip. When I did, tears. So beautiful. It was only after I adopted my first cat that I realized I would outlive her. When she got sick, wasn't eating, and lost so much weight, the vet taught me how to give her sub-q fluids, immediately after which I fainted. A friend took on that task. Until she was sick she never came out when I had company. In her last few months she sought any warm lap she could find. My favorite picture is of her laying on my DIL's lap.

After a long search, we finally found Riley at a shelter. We had been studiously avoiding those scary headline-making pit bulls and she was a "German Shepard mix." When we picked her up after spaying, the vet remarked that she was "such a beautiful pit!" We were utterly terrified and drove home with our hands wrapped protectively around our throats while Riley snoozed in the back seat. She was a terrible dog--people/dog aggressive, constant barking and trainers refused to work with her. But she was the dog-of-my-heart and she was always ready for our long 4 a.m. walks when I couldn't sleep. When I was hospitalized, she became very ill with unresectable cancer and DD had to put her down alone as the doctors wouldn't release me. It was so heartbreaking to come home to an empty backyard as the thought of our reunion really spurred me to recover faster. It's been almost 12 years and I still miss her. We've had other dogs but none have managed to fill her void.

I lost my Chilli-cat in November last year. I grieved for months. I have my Julietta cat still and my two lovely dogs but I miss him still. What switched the deep grieving off for me was the dream I had of Chilli being a cute new kitten again in March.

I had the same dream about my Jagger dog whom I lost in 1996. I dreamed a wonderful dream of his being a puppy and very happy again. He was beautiful.

Even if those dreams weren't real they helped me. Time helps too. We all find the balance between grieving and peace. I can have the good memories of all of my pets that I've had over the years and the tears aren't there immediately.

I have tears in my eyes, as I well know the love for and from a pet. Mine have all been dogs, and the last four (3 of which are still with me) are rescues. I have adored all my 'kids' and thought I woudn't be able to go on when lost my first dog. I will continue to adopt rescues, as they seem SO appreciative of love and a home, but wish that every single cat, dog or other animal always had a loving home. Pip was stunning, Jen, and I feel your pain.

IdaC, I too am very sorry for your loss. When I lose an animal friend, I like to write down the things they did that made them so special. The time you spend writing puts you back there with them, so that is a little solace. And it's good not to forget those special details when you review it later.

My elderly Julie the handsome black lab but with short legs aways dances for me at supper time. She really enjoys a meal. I love it each day and treasure it more because she is getting up there and one of these days she won't be dancing.

@My3dogs, us too!

Since I was little, we got our pet family through serendipity (showing up and not leaving after they size us up) or from shelters. When we lived in KC, puppy Riley was from a shelter in Ks. When he was 3 yo we sprung Lola, guessed at around 4 yo, from Animal Control in Mo. After we moved to Tx, we were hanging out in the yard with our grand niece and nephews, who are now our children, when Lola pulled a Lassie and brought me over to where the kitten, future Toni Two-toes, was lost and mewing for help. The little kitty bounded over to me like she knew she was being rescued. We put up signs and tried to talk our friends, who wanted to adopt a cat, into taking her when no one claimed her. She's the best cat, so their loss!

When we're ready for a pup we'll go to Animal Control or a shelter, again. Unless one shows up before that - lol!

Thank you all so very much for your kind words and the heartfelt, moving stories you have shared about the animals you have loved and lost. It's SO very hard, but I wouldn't trade one minute of time I've spent with Pip or the others I've had to say goodbye to, in order not to feel the pain of their departure. Loving them is worth it all.

Of course, we continue to grieve our Pip. I find myself tearing up at rather inopportune times, and DH - big, burly fellow that he is - has worn his emotions on his sleeve as well. It's good to share this together, though. We understand how this has affected us, and we've drawn close with support and kindness for one another. You really have to start finding the positive aspects of a loss, because they ARE there.

We would never in a million years be able to replace Pip. He was truly one of a kind; a unique little man in a fur suit. I did find, however, that it helped my heart a little bit to peruse the adoptable animals on Petfinder. Somehow, just knowing that there are still so many out there who need loving care has done my heart good. Well ... you can probably guess where I'm heading with this. DH and I have talked and talked about the loss of Pip, about how our house just doesn't feel like "us" without four cats in residence, and the other day, DH turned to me and said, "Do you want to go ahead and bring home another little tabby cat?"

Of course I do.

We are scheduled to pick up from her foster family a precious little 8-month old tabby girl that we will call Posy. I'm rather terrified at the thought of having such a young one in the house again, but also there's a joy bubbling up inside of me that is helping to wash away the tears. I know we've got our job cut out for us in introducing Posy to her new home and her new companions, but we are both quite eager to get on with it.

I like to think that this honors our sweet, sweet Pip. He was such a loving little soul, and if a cat could want such a thing, I do believe he would want us to open our arms and our hearts to another.

NOW I have happy tears in my eyes! I'm so glad for you!

I got my 3rd rescue, Rooney, two weeks after I lost my mother. I saw him on Petfinder, and he was being fostered about 3 miles from Mum's house, which I was readying for sale. I met him, and it was instant love, and is to this day, 4 years later. What amazes me, is that he got along beautifully from the minute he arrived here with the 3 dogs I had at the time, and the same is true of Ginger, my 4th rescue!

Do you have a pic of Posy that you can share with us? This is Ginger and big brother Rooney.

My3dogs, Rooney and Ginger are gorgeous babies, and how wonderful that they both settled in so quickly. I do believe that some things are just meant to be. Finding these babies may seem like happenstance to some, but I don't believe it for a minute. I think the universe orchestrates these seemingly random meetings.

This is Posy. Her little face makes me melt.

All THREE of my 'kids' are clustered around my monitor right now! They think that Posy is just beautiful, as do I.

I have also wondered if getting another pet soon after losing one is somehow wrong, but to me, it shows that you loved the one that has passed so much, that you need to share that love with another who needs a wonderful home. I know that Pip would be thrilled that his family is sharing the love that they gave him with another baby who needs it.

Posy! You sweet thing!

Posy is home and has decided that next to or behind the toilet is a super place to live for now. Bless her. She has had an eventful day, with the transfer from her foster family's home to mine. She will let me pick her up and cuddle her some, and that's wonderful.

Look at those ears!

She does have great ears!