When I was 11, I occasionally sat for brief periods for my 4 year old brother, when Mom ran a few errands. It was better than having to be trundled along! At night time if they went out to dinner, we'd have an adult sitter, but about my age of 13, they stopped hiring one.

A sad story, indeed.

My life was similar in California during the early 60's. By the time I was 12 I was sitting three kids. I started out sitting for just an hour or so a few years before. I was also allowed to walk them to the theater across and down a busy street almost 2 miles away, leave them for the kiddie matinee and pick them up after. It was a different time for sure.

DS started watching neighbor's kids for an hour or two at age nine. Of course I was at home too but still he was responsible enough to trust.

I may be wrong but I think leaving related kids at the younger age spectrum in charge could be worse than an unrelated child who wants the job. The sibling or cousin may be taken for granted and not see their role as important enough to be as responsible as a kid who wants to babysit.

DD and I have this conversation often. We want free range, independent kids but unfortunately we find too many people ruin it for the good ones. The homeless drug addicts, the severely mentally ill allowed to be free on the streets and the fact so called decent people fear to get involved have made it near impossible for us to feel our children and grandchildren are safe. Our once safe suburbs are being overtaken by the above and the cities merely want to build more multi use housing. It's become less about families and all about the mighty dollar.

Actually, I felt just as responsible for my brother as I did for unrelated kids I started sitting for at about age 13 when I started earning $ doing that. I remember my brother being about 2 and me being 9, when he was pushed under water at a crowded pool. There was a lifeguard, but I have no idea if the guy even noticed. I yelled, "that's my brother!" and pulled him out (I was already in the water). I can still see him there, sitting in the water, thumb in his mouth, not yet having yet taken a breath. Thankfully, since I certainly didn't know CPR then.

I was 6, when I started watching my little sister, and 9 when my brother was thrown in to the mix. My parents went to the field/orchard to pick cherries with the other two, to make extra income during the cherry season. The money was VERY needed. This was in Germany, and yes, it was a totally different time.

Depends on the child; some can't be alone ever, some could at eight. To me, it's about their level of logic and the amount of responsibility they exhibit. But I totally agree with what chi said.

My parents left us alone after school when we were that age, we were all responsible and not prone to doing crazy stuff. We would come home, have a snack, do our homework.

One day a man rang the doorbell, said he was a TV repair man and that my father asked him to pick up the TV and look at it in his shop.

We let him in, he took the TV, and my father knew nothing about this when he got home, the man was a thief.

I was left home alone at age 12 and did the same with my children. I did not allow them to babysit at that age. It does depend on the child though.

It depends on the 11 year old. When I got a babysitter after my last child, I was constantly telling them if you have any problems or any questions, just ask my older child. She was 11. After awhile, I began to wonder why I was getting a babysitter when I was relying on her so much. In the beginning, I only left her in charge when I was in the neighborhood. I would not have done that with daughter #2. She was not as mature at 11.

When our DD was 8 she was home alone after school. She was quiet and responsible. Now she tells me if I did that I could be arrested for child neglect!

I walked to school when I was in 1st grade, 5/6 years old, it was a block away, also went home for lunch most days. My problem wasn't with people, we had a German Shepherd dog that would eat my food/steal it and growl/snap at me. If someone wasn't around.....I was in danger. My parents gave her away when I was 8 yo. The neighbors had a pitbull looking dog w/ no fenced yard. It would knock me down then stand over me and growl, not let me up, I'd play dead, then it would go away.

I think 14 years old is when I'd start "trusting" a child to be alone for a few hours.

It should be a progression:

- Allow a 10-11 year old to stay at home alone for an hour while you go to the grocery store during daylight hours.

- Allow a 13-14 year old to stay alone a couple hours AND after dark ... OR to care for younger children for a couple hours.

- And you lecture the kids on what they can /can't do: Microwave popcorn -- yes ... Cooking something real with the stove -- no ... Going out in the back yard to play -- yes ... Walking to the neighborhood park two blocks away -- no.

- And it all depends upon the safety net; for example, when I was 14 and babysat, my own mother was only a phone call /a couple miles away.

I would never have let my kids as 1st graders walk home alone or with their friends.

I grew up in a very safe rural town, but walking home -- or even riding a bike -- was never a choice. The school was about three miles away ... no sidewalks ... rural roads, but busy.

Your location makes a big difference in these choices.

We let him in, he took the TV, and my father knew nothing about this when he got home, the man was a thief.

Yeah, you can't prepare kids for all the things that can happen.

I remember one time I'd let my kids stay home alone for the first half of a teacher workday ... and I came home at lunch /took them to school with me for the afternoon. They'd been given a list of rules, and one of them was "no one else in the house". My oldest -- who was in middle school -- called me and asked if Nathan from down the street could come over. I said NO, but he can come over for lunch, and he can come back to school with us this afternoon. I heard her saying, "I told you not to come over! Get out!" I never let on that I knew the score: He showed up uninvited, but she wouldn't let him come in until she'd asked permission.

I think 14 years old is when I'd start "trusting" a child to be alone for a few hours.

General rule of thumb, yeah, 14 sounds reasonable. That's high school.

I too think it depends on the child and the circumstances. We had a large family and us 3 older girls often watched our younger siblings when Mom quickly ran to the store or next door to the neighbors, but she was never gone long, 15 minutes max. We were all responsible well behaved kids but I was still 12 before I could babysit and even then it was only at a neighbors house and my parents were close by. As a Mom, my daughter was never into babysitting, she didn’t have siblings and wasn’t comfortable.

My experience was back in the late 60’s, early 70’s; today it’s a different world and I’m glad I was not faced with having to make that decision with my own daughter.

I'm the oldest. I started babysitting by the time I was 12. My parents had hired babysitters, but I ended up doing the diaper changing. My parents decided if I was doing the work, I should get the title. They didn't always pay me.

Considering that there was a point when I was about 2-3 years old, out playing on the front grass while my mom worked in the flower beds - and some guy in a van parked across the street but not directly in front of the house...mom heard the phone ring and in the time it took her to go in and tell whoever that she'd call them back, the guy had gotten out of his van and was proceeding towards me like he intended to snatch me up and drive off...before she started yelling at him and he ran back to his vehicle then sped away...I get that parents need to be watchful when it comes to who, what, when and where their children are. It's not like I'm advocating for 6 year old kids to freely roam their street or walk 3 blocks to and from school by themselves (if the bus drops them off at the stop sign on the corner 5 houses down, depending on the neighborhood and the child, it probably isn't a big deal if you wait for them in your front yard instead of insisting on being physically and exactly there at the drop point when they get off the bus or get on the bus until they're starting high school...or maybe not before they're leaving for college - presuming they're going to be allowed to go to college that is far enough away that they will be living in a dorm - if one is a *bit* of a helicopter type.)

The problem is, everyone imagines that the worst is only possible if there's a stranger lurking around to cause such things. We don't like to think of the uncomfortable truth that children are most often victimized by someone they know (sometimes it's someone living in the home, sometimes it's a neighbor, a church group leader, people the parents know and believe they can trust, even spouses and their other children...I'm not trying to scare people here, but our society currently struggles to understand that some of the problem is...we teach children to unquestioningly respect adults and do as they're told, we believe that a child molester or a rapist must somehow look the depraved, obviously evil, criminal-minded look in their eyes 'after school special depicted' part while they lurk in darkened alleys or loiter on the edges of the emptying playground as the sun begins to set, lying in wait for the 'ideal victim' - one who acts/dresses/associates with 'good' people only/never goes places where bad things could happen - and we raise girls to keep their voices down, to go along to get along, and let a guy down gently no matter how persistent he might be - but continue to teach boys that they must take charge and aggressively pursue what they want, that they won't succeed as men if they don't swagger in and take what they believe is their due, all of these things set children up for problems with self esteem, difficulty in how to proceed w/regard to their right to their bodily autonomy and the boundaries they set with others about such matters to be respected, self-doubt and issues with how to go about being an independent adult when their entire lives up until they finish college or begin working for more than just some 'pocket money' have been overseen/dictated/helicoptered by their parent(s).

Basically, I think that it's not about when they can be left alone for a while, the real need is for parents to teach their kids the things that they absolutely must know for the time when they are no longer children but adults on their own - and this has to gradually happen from the very earliest point in their lives, give them the chance to take risks and potentially fail when the consequences aren't the kind that lands them in prison. If parents must work multiple jobs to keep the lights on and a roof over the family's heads then the community needs to find ways to be empowered - the proverbial village - that can help guide children and provide structure, purpose - rather than simply complain that there are too many who seek a 'family' of the sort that a street gang offers them, or looking at the issue as "not your kids not your problem" kind of thing.

I recall back in the 1950's in my gentle sweet small town, there was a man 3 doors away from us that I was told to stay away from. He was " not a nice man". What did we know, we were kids? My friends and I all crossed the street before we got to his house because we thought that meant he might yell at us. Or the worst thing, he might hit us. Decades later, he and his adult son were both convicted child molesters.

Personally, I would not leave a 3 yr alone with another child to babysit, unless for a very short period of time. (Actually I wouldn't do it at all....but I only had one child and I took her with me everywhere.) I was left alone when I was 11. My mother didn't work but a few times she went to visit relatives and left me to cook for my dad, who did work and was gone all day, but home at night. Like some said....I grew up in a different place in time....a very safe little town. I rode my bike, and later my horse, everywhere. Walked to school from first grade on...and was close enough that I came home for lunch or ate at a little corner restaurant.

I started babysitting when I was 11. I had many a 12 yr old babysitter when I had children of my own. I walked 2 blocks to Kindergarten at age 5 - with a group of children from our apt complex. My DD walked to and from Kindergarten (less than a mile away) - with others in the AM, alone at noon. Her children started walking to school with two other children in 1st grade - they are now 15 and 18.

It depends on the child and it depends on the neighborhood. Statistically, the world today is no more at risk for child abductions/molestations than it ever was, but it's hard to get parents to believe this.

In a college psych class, I learned about child development. It starts when the baby crawls away and can't see his mother. Then he later leaves the room to a nearby room. Over time, he is all over the entire house. Then his own yard, then the nearby neighborhood and then the world. It's a natural sequence. Today, there are children leaving for college who have rarely been outside without adult supervision and believe me, they struggle when they get to college (assuming they'll even leave home to go!).

As a parent, I believed my job was to put myself OUT OF A JOB by rearing independent children. Of course, the downside of this is that as adults, they are quite self-suffienct and don't need us anymore and we see/hear less from them due to this. But it's still the right thing to do as we will not be with them forever.

A child gains self-esteem and confidence by "conquering" his world, one step at a time. Let it happen.

Now the original question: in many states, it is against the law to leave a child less than 14 at home alone or with other children.

Mrs Pete... depends on the child. Some children you don't want to leave home alone at age 14, and no I am not printing that story here (it wasn't me). Others are totally fine years younger.

At age 6 or 7, I earned a quarter every time I walked the neighbor's little dog. A tiny little thing not up to protecting anyone. It didn't even bark much. No, I would not allow a child of mine (I have no children) to do this today. Will note: that was in upper Manhattan NYC. I don't recall if my folks ever asked where I walked that dog. I took it into the woods of the area that eventually became the Hudson River Parkway. NO> I'd never let a child do that these days, or even back in THOSE days! As noted, I think the parents simply assumed I just walked that dog around a relatively busy block...

(I'd been told: Don't talk to strangers. I had no inclination ever to do so. Of course, that's not always good enough.)

Most kids back in my day free-ranged. When we moved out of the city, the rule was to Be Home By Dinner, Or Else. I think I had a time limit on that dog walking venture IN the city.

I am actually not sure that it is a DIFFERENT world... but that we hear about things so much more readily now.

I was a latchkey kid back in the 80s. Mom and Dad went to work and didn't worry about it. It was the standard for the neighborhood. All us kids there all day without adult supervision, in the summer. Started around age 9 or 10. It was a small town, but dangers still exist.

My tween kid now- no way! Not where we live, but mostly because she is a very quiet kid and not yet up to the challenge of standing up for herself if something happens. She's smart and could probably handle an emergency, but I don't think she's quite ready for the test.

Please don't leave ME alone with a three-year-old for more than a few minutes! I'm too old, and they move at the speed of light.

When my neighbor and I walked or rode our bikes to our grammar school a mile from home, it was a different time. Most homes had someone *at home* all along our route. We went home over the lunch hour *because* someone was home for us. There was a patrol boy on each walkway across our single busy intersection, and people didn't drive like maniacs. I think it was a big loss -- for students and teachers -- when the lunch hour stress reliever disappeared.

I waited in the car while DH went into our library one morning recently. The Story Hour for the smallest children had just ended. I saw about a dozen beautifully groomed little ones coming out of the library. Each one was packed into a car seat in an expensive vehicle. (I live in a affluent town.) There were no mothers or fathers present.

Anglo is not correct in her statement: "Now the original question: in many states, it is against the law to leave a child less than 14 at home alone or with other children."

One state, Illinois, has the age limit of 14 years. Two other states have much lower limits, while all of the others have no legal limits.

When I lived in Los Angeles in the early 1980's, that was the law at that time.

We left our 10 year old at home alone while we ran short errands. Usually only gone for about 15 minutes at a time, but we brought the two younger kids with us. Once I knew he wouldn't get into anything or answer the door (put a Nintendo in front of his face and the rest of the world didn't exist), we started letting one of the kids stay home with him. The older one would have been 5, the younger 4. We never let him watch his brother or sister awake together as it was just too much for another child to do. We did let him watch them both when we went out for drinks, but not until I knew both younger kids were sleeping. We would call home every hour. He had the name of the place we were at, my next door neighbours phone number, my mother in laws number and my sisters number all written next to the phone in case of emergency. I think he was 11 before we let him watch them. I started babysitting at 12. But I did watch my younger sister way before that.