Executor accountability
bossyvossy
6 years ago
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Estate Executor Information
Comments (5)If you're the executor, you'll get all the information you'll need when you file the will with the surrogate's office. I was executrix for my mother's estate. It's really very simple. You basically have to: get a tax ID # from SS, track down all the assets, put them in an estate account, pay off all debts, file the appropriate taxes, and divide the remaining assets among the heirs. When you make the distribution, you will provide the heirs with an accounting of all the money while it was in your care and you'll ask them to sign a legal document regarding the final distribution (basically stating that if any further debts surface, all heirs will give back money, in equal shares, to pay them). You can get the form from your lawyer. Then you'll notify SS that the tax ID number is no longer in use. The surrogate's office gave me all the info I really needed. I did run everything by my lawyer (I was seeing him about something else at the time), but it really wasn't necessary. The best place to start, if you have questions, would be your county store--they will have all the forms and info you need for your jurisdiction. Ours even arranged for the surrogate to come out and meet me there, so I didn't have to go into the city to file the will....See MoreResponsibilities of an executor of a will?
Comments (12)I think you have gotten some very good advice here from everyone. I don't have much to add in terms of that kind of advice as I have not been through all of this. However, it sounds as if you are truly wanting to make sure the estate is handled fairly for your remaining siblings who you DO care about. I know you said your dad is manipulative, but can you possibly set some personal boundaries and do this because it needs to be done, and done right for the future of your siblings, especially for your brother's sake? Think of it as a business transaction, your goals are to learn A, B, C, ask for D, E, F on your brother's behalf and see if he is willing to make those changes? Get in, get out, and don't look back until the time comes for you to be the executor if that is how it must be for you. It may not be easy or pain-free, but if you feel that strongly about the distribution of the estate, you may need to endure some of that pain for the comfort you would have in the end knowing it was handled fairly and your siblings are taken care of. I don't envy your position, it is difficult, but sometimes what is right isn't what's easiest. I wish you strength during this difficult time....See MoreExecutor Commission Amount?
Comments (21)Golddust- I understand the point you are making regarding my sister's responsibilities vs. mine. My sister did live in the same town as my mother and I live across country. This is always difficult. I had the burden of not being close and I lived with that guilt. I did a lot for my mother. I bought all of her clothes and sent them to her as I like fashion and it was something that I could do to help out. I worked in the medical profession for 20 plus years so I handled all of her medical affairs including insurance, prescriptions, etc. I also brought my mother to my home at least 4 times a year for a period of 2 wks. So I wasn't an absentee daughter. My sister lived in the same town as my parents all of her life and had five children. When the children were young she always had a built in babysitter and I am talking for weeks at a time when my sister and hubby would travel. So there were perks in the younger years of living close. Also, things just always magically disappeared from my mother's home and made their way into my sister's home after my mother went into assisted living. Even the diamond earrings and such that I gave to my mother as gifts from me magically disappeared. I have a picture of my mother in the diamond earrings that was taken the day before she passed and yet when I arrived home 2 days later, the diamonds were gone and nobody knows what happened to them. Hmmmm. I guess I am saying that she felt a sense of entitlement and I am now beginning to wonder when that sense of entitlement ends. I guess if I let this ride the entitlement will end now. There is nothing left. Thankfully I will never have to go through this again. Such a shame....See MoreAny other Executors?
Comments (17)I'm so lucky--no one's hassled me, nor been too over-the-top greedy. But yes, mammie--the one who did the least, who never had time to visit mom more than twice a year, was the one who had the time to run up here several times the week after mom died to load up her truck with stuff. And she was pretty perturbed when others took stuff she wanted for her 'daughter' (not a blood relative, more of a foster child, with no real ties to mom). Oh, and that sister was the one who had to take off TWO weeks from work, because she was so distraught and couldn't go in. ? ? ? (Mind you, mom was in her late 80's and had been in poor health for a number of years--her death wasn't a real shock) The rest of us managed to go on with our lives. You also find out how the deceased felt about people. Mom had her will written so that if one of us died, our children would get their share. BUT she specifically had a provision that if something happened to the above sister, her share would go NOT to her adopted foster kids, but to the rest of us. That said a lot. She had 15 years to change that, and never did. Note that one of the other grandchildren who WAS named in the will WAS adopted. Thank goodness, it didn't come to me having to deal with any of that--but I'd have had no choice but to follow the will's provisions....See Morebossyvossy
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