Golddust- I understand the point you are making regarding my sister's responsibilities vs. mine. My sister did live in the same town as my mother and I live across country. This is always difficult. I had the burden of not being close and I lived with that guilt. I did a lot for my mother. I bought all of her clothes and sent them to her as I like fashion and it was something that I could do to help out. I worked in the medical profession for 20 plus years so I handled all of her medical affairs including insurance, prescriptions, etc. I also brought my mother to my home at least 4 times a year for a period of 2 wks. So I wasn't an absentee daughter. My sister lived in the same town as my parents all of her life and had five children. When the children were young she always had a built in babysitter and I am talking for weeks at a time when my sister and hubby would travel. So there were perks in the younger years of living close. Also, things just always magically disappeared from my mother's home and made their way into my sister's home after my mother went into assisted living. Even the diamond earrings and such that I gave to my mother as gifts from me magically disappeared. I have a picture of my mother in the diamond earrings that was taken the day before she passed and yet when I arrived home 2 days later, the diamonds were gone and nobody knows what happened to them. Hmmmm. I guess I am saying that she felt a sense of entitlement and I am now beginning to wonder when that sense of entitlement ends. I guess if I let this ride the entitlement will end now. There is nothing left. Thankfully I will never have to go through this again. Such a shame.

She will also have the opportunity to choose a successor... You should exercise caution on comments like this since this like so many of the other comments made will vary from state to state, right down to the name of the position. Here, there is no successor appointment power unless specifically provided for in the Will and the position is called a "Personal Representative". Also a relative, especially children of the decedents are often appointed without a question since it's often the norm here. The number of co-executors (which can be male or female unless you want to specify exectrix, or executrices), co-personal representatives, administrator and other terms for the same position is a personal choice. It sounds like the major responsibilities will be to pay for final illness, file taxes, dispose of real and personal property and the like. You may want one or want more than one. One thing you need to keep in mind. YOU do not appoint the executor of your estate, you nominate someone or more than one and the Court is the one who approves it and appoints them. They have NO power until that court appointment. If you nominate someone and your relatives don't like it and have reasonable reason, they can go to court and challenge it. Also, you need to give the executor powers in your Will or the Court will have more involvement. Former Chief Justice Warren Burger made a mess out of his estate by giving his executors no power. You should also decide whether you wish them to be bonded and/or supervised. I assume she has a Will currently and is considering changing the nomination which will require something in writing and it's probably best to do a new Will if it's a simple one or at least a codicil. A notarized letter may be sufficient depending on your location, to convince a judge of desire and intent as long as others don't claim duress. There's advantages and disadvantages of having one or more than one. Depending on the amount of work involved, it's often nice to have someone share the work. Normally there's not a ton of decisions that an executor makes, but there can be, depending on the estate. There is no one right answer whether to have one or more than one. In my Will, I'm nominating two people, if they agree to serve, and giving the option that if one does not want to or doesn't qualify (or meet the requirements I lay out for them) the other has the option to serve individually or have another co-personal representative and I am nominating in order of preference a number of other people whom I trust to be cooperative enough to make it easier on the person. There's a lot of ways to avoid hassles. Name beneficiaries on bank accounts, certain properties can be as a trustee or in joint tenancy, living trusts, and more. Properties can be given away or sold, however that can be tricky in places two, because here, you can't give away large sums right before you die or the Courts will yank it back under the theory that you knew you were dying and tried to give it away to avoid taxes or the like. Another thought: You could have her put a power for you to appoint a co-exector to assist. But nothing stops you from having someone assist you with certain things. Just keep in mind that as an executor (or whatever name it's given) YOU are responsible to do it right and if someone wants to make trouble, they could so it's something to be cautioned about. How much squabbling would you honestly expect? Greed does different things to people. I've sure seen a lot of it in my own family. Good luck.

I'm bringing this back up because I heard about it on Len Tillem's radio show. He calls it the list of 11, and I think it's on his website.. The List of Eleven One of the most tedious and difficult tasks in administering a trust or an estate is finding the decedent's estate planning documents and asset information. Frequently, children have no idea where their parents kept these important documents. After you pass away, the last thing you should want is for your children to have to search through your belongings in a tragic scavenger hunt to find your will, stock certificates, and other important papers. To avoid these difficulties, you should organize your personal and financial data. This is where the list comes in. Collect the information described in this list and give a copy to your relatives, or put the list where you know they can find it. In case something happens to you, the List of Eleven is one of the best ways to ensure that your relatives can find all your vital records. The name of the bank where you have your safety deposit box, its number, and the location of your key. The numbers for all of your insurance policies, health, life, auto, home, burial, etc., and the names and addresses of the agents for each policy. Itemization of your stocks, bonds, mutual funds, and the numbers of each, and the name and address of your broker. The names of the banks or savings and loans for each of your accounts, and the account numbers. The location of your cemetery plot or mausoleum niche. The location of your Will and the name of your attorney. Your credit card numbers. Your Social Security number. The name and address of your mortgage holder, account number, and the amount of the outstanding debt. The name and address of your accountant, and where your past income tax returns are located. The type of memorial or funeral service you want.

No, rae, I think that's an example of how a gold-digger with serious intent to take advantage of a vulnerable oldster can be enabled to be successful when an attorney is inept. The lawyer's job wasn't done until whatever transfers or title changes necessary had been made. Suing to reverse such actions that take advantage of an oldster when not of sound mind, when earlier executed but not completed documents are available, are often successful (though often ugly too). A common provision in these documents, at least in my state, is a list of all assets and a statement to the effect of "This list of assets that I/we own as of this date are hereby transferred to the trust and shall be regarded as owned by the trust and not us NO MATTER WHAT TITLE OR NAMES ARE USED FOR THESE ASSETS (I added the caps). It is further my/our intent that any future assets I/we acquire, no matter how titled nor in whose names they appear, shall be deemed contributed to this trust immediately and without exception, unless an amendment to this agreement for a particular asset states otherwise. " Either way, the individual's wishes are insured and are not changeable unless the older document is revoked in writing and a new one entered into