I think $10 is perfect. They will be thrilled. For anyone else looking for ideas, I have given holding crosses, as well as bracelet and pocket rosaries. They come in all price ranges and designs.

https://www.etsy.com/listing/486295173/natural-black-hematite-healing-gemstone?ga_order=most_relevant&ga_search_type=all&ga_view_type=gallery&ga_search_query=bracelet%20rosary&ref=sc_gallery-1-6&plkey=6f60cd34071d3b41d4f985fe02b2963ba8246623:486295173

https://www.etsy.com/listing/490663272/teen-pocket-rosary-womans-rosary-pocket?ga_order=most_relevant&ga_search_type=all&ga_view_type=gallery&ga_search_query=pocket%20rosary&ref=sr_gallery-1-8

https://www.etsy.com/listing/179181107/vintage-hand-crafted-olive-wood-cross?ga_order=most_relevant&ga_search_type=all&ga_view_type=gallery&ga_search_query=holding%20cross&ref=sc_gallery-1-2&plkey=06d34181ea703c9b08e6f4173477186cc046ab9b:179181107

I used to keep a supply of $10 Apple Gift cards on hand. I used them for things such as this and the child always appreciated it. I think $10 is plenty.

I think a simple gift card... and NOT an Apple gift card, unless you know it is an Apple family for sure... might be good. Or maybe just a check for (or a bill of) $10 so they don't have to go the phone path du jour... and assuming these children already have phones. (And their families want them to.)

Bluebell, that jewelry is really lovely. The FC is at our church with a 1 hr party following at home.

The format “send gift now” is tacky to me and not something I’d do but I am sure they’re not money/gift hungry. Family recently hosted a party with steak & lobster for 30-35 people, so they give as much as they take, maybe give more than take.

anyway, the times are such that everything is a social event. Even funerals, which are slowly becoming celebrations of life. I like that.

Bossy, I think you are in the right path giving the girls a small amount of money. My husband suggests 2 crisp $10 bills, one to spend, one to save. Families I know save the cards received, so selecting a nice card and writing a personal note to each girl expressing your feelings is appropriate. I have to say that now and when I was a kid, the money was saved. I would not give the girls a piece of religious jewelry. Their family will take care of that. I gave my grands medals or crosses when they made their communion. Perhaps a book of the lives of the saints for each girl's age/reading level would be nice if they do not attend parochial school. You could enclose $10 with the book.

My grandson is making his first communion in May. He already has medals, religious objects, pictures and attends parochial school. I have a little cross to put on his lapel, but one may come in the communion packet that all the communicants get.

Whatever you decide will be the right thing as long as you are comfortable with it. I also think that the gift message on evite is not a call/demad for gifts. There will probably be a place to put the gifts at the house after the ceremony at church.

Omg what a great idea! There are saints with the girls’ names. Where could I find a postcard that shows a pic and a short summary of each saint. I know they’d love that!

This place has all sorts of religious items. They are across the street from my optometrist, so I stop in there once every two - three years when I get my eyes checked. https://shop.catholicsupply.com/

I still have my first communion money.

Brushworks, you beat me to it. When I shared the thread with my husband, he reminded me that I should have said some of us have their first communion money. I was coming back on to post just that.

Seriously? Is there a significance to that? Tradition?

bossyvossy. Saying that someone still has their first communion money is an old joke. It means that the person is cheap. Same as saying if someone would open their wallet moths would fly out.

Bossy, you spurred me to search for saints prayer cards or holy cards on Google. I started at the site matthias posted. Plenty of sites have them @ $3 each and the shipping is not astronomical. I am buying a saint's namesake prayer card for my first communion boy plus seceral others just because. And BTW he is one of those who will have his first communion money. He is not cheap but he does like to see his money add up and carefully considers what he buys for himself.

Please please guys help me find a holy card for saint Natalia. I found a couple of icons but I think the holy or prayer cards would be perfect.

Since you are asking about this, do I assume that you are not only not family, but not Catholic? I would not expect to be asked to endorse or participate in an event that is (at best) meaningless to me.

Lutherans also have first communion.

I am catholic and while I take no offense, I find it an odd and irrelevant question. Aren’t buddhists, Jewish, etc friends invited to catholic weddings and vice-versa?

I am Catholic and have been invited to many bar/bat mitzvahs and Lutheran confirmations as well as weddings and a couple of briss. I think your thought of a card with some cash is appropriate. I still remember my own First Communion and my fancy shoes more than my dress :)

I am pretty sure there is no Saint Natalia. Sorry. I just checked my Dictionary of Saints.

There does appear to be one: http://catholicism.org/saint-natalie-311.html

Oh my goodness! Whether it means anything to me or not is not the issue as far as I’m concerned. If it means something to someone I care about, then I will be there to help them celebrate. It’s not always about “me“. Wow.

I have no personal religious beliefs/practices but I've been to events of a religious theme or nature for very, very many sects and different religions. I've never considered attendance to be anything other than attendance. I'm silent during audience participation, if any, I don't lift prayer books, and would never think of participating in communion at the end of a service that the adherents do.

I go when invited to support the event for the principals who are putting it on. Doing so is not in any way an agreement, endorsement or acceptance on my part of what others want to believe in. I don't think that's ever assumed or expected.

@Bookwoman, I sent that organization an email.

@scott, i’d be thrilled to get a holy card or prayer card for this one.

https://www.catholic.org/saints/saint.php?saint_id=309

If you cannot find a holy card for St. Natalia, how about a holy card for her middle name?

bossyvossy, you might have more luck on an Orthodox site, like this one: https://www.easterngiftshop.com/Item/IcSNatalia. There are all kinds of inexpensive options below.

Bookman, I got a BEAUTIFUL st Natalia pendant with a fancy embroidered card for one girl and the gift for second girl at the st Jude shop. I am thankful for your suggestions. Can mark this DONE. Now to go paint my patio benches....

In the Roman Catholic calendar there is no Saint Natalia. There is a Natalia who was the wife of a Saint Adrian, an early Christian martyr. But my source does not mention that she was canonized as well.

The Pope recognizes Saints from western Catholics churches and eastern Catholic Churches. The girls will be thrilled that they share names with saints and hopefully will further inspire them to follow a righteous path. I’ll let Mom explain church differences.

I could point out, too, that the name Natalia refers to the Nativity, the birth of the Lord, which opens up tons of options.

I do not see (most) weddings in the same light as rituals where a very young person pledges a loyalty to a dogma he or she is too young to comprehend. I do not want to appear to support and bear witness to such a no choice performance.

Comments here from those who performed this ritual support my feelings. They are remembrances of the parties, gifts, and what was worn. I feel the same resistance to witnessing weddings that are entirely about 'the performance', with no or only token recognition of the import. (Some here may recall my discomfort over knowingly attending such a wedding a couple of years ago.)

I’m searching for an opportunity to spend time with an individual(s) and the event is secondary. If it means a lot to them, fine, if it doesn’t or don’t comprehend just yet, That’s fine too. I am excited about the little gifts and hoping they like them as much as I think they might.

Chisue those are interesting thoughts. I think it is probably universal, for human children to be offered participation in rituals that they do not understand as an adult would. Heck, even kindergartners and first-graders in the US are taught the Pledge of Allegiance and asked to recite it in unison five days a week at school. They do not understand what they are saying and pledging as an adult would. Initiations into the cultures we live in have always been part of life. At very least, children know that it is a marker that they are growing up and being admitted by steps and bits into the grown up world.

I happen to have participated in the ritual of first communion myself. I don't remember parties because there were none. I don't remember gifts, because there were none. I don't remember cards, because there were none. I remember learning the prayers, practicing the mechanics of being an individual in a large group where the focus will come back down to individuals, being quizzed on catechism by my parents, my teacher, and the parish priest over two months time. I remember wearing a hand-me down suit from my out of town cousin, mailed to us by my aunt whom I rarely saw. I remember having a group photo made, with all the boys and girls holding their hands in that formal palms together, fingers pointing upward position. The boys had shiny black shoes, the girls shiny white ones. The best dressed boys had a vest under their suit jacket. I remember my two years older sister told me I had waddled down the aisle, and I felt insulted.

I remember puzzling about three philosophical/theological ideals my FC teacher told us. I'll skip explaining those, but I'll tell you that I still think about them to this day, and one of them gave me a way to evaluate my motivation in relationship to other people from that day on. Oh, heck, I'll tell that ideal: My teacher said that "In the eyes of God, all people are equal." Boy, did that get me to thinking....Equal? How so? Clearly, not equal as in "the same." Maybe there is some give and take in this equality business. So, I see Tim is really smart and also plays piano and is a good looking kid and can run really well. Maybe others are equal not by having those same talents, but by having others in a degree that stacks up to Tim's obvious talents. At the time I took comfort in the idea that maybe I had undiscovered talents that made me the equal of Tim, but that was far from the end of my thinking about my teacher's statement. And I liked thinking that this other kid Chris, who seemed depressed and angry and despised by teachers and kids alike, was really just as much a star as Tim, just no one could see it.... It was later, of course that I heard the ideal that "before the law all people are equal," but hearing that made me try to rethink what would be the difference between "before the law" and "in the eyes of God." What was the significance?

My thinking as a child about just that one thing I heard from my teacher in preparation for FC, went further than that. It seemed to have plenty of offshoots, applications, and questions to stir up. "Fairness," for example. I had figured that, to my parents, this ideal of equality meant something when it came to fairness. So I felt like I was in league with my parents in wishing to be fair. That was a bond I felt to them, this common understanding.

Then there were the other two things my teacher said. They were biggies for me, too. These three were not even part of the formal teaching, the catechism. But I think it is an example of how childhood rituals really do feed into a child growing up, beginning to find meaning and application in pieces of shared wisdom. I don't think there is reason to assume that childhood rituals are useless, too profound, or abusively imposing on a child. I give children more credit than that.

Matthias_lang- it's funny that you brought up the pledge of allegiance. One of my kids had a program at school this evening. One of my other kids asked why we say the pledge of allegiance before each school program and I honestly couldn't give them a good reason and neither could my husband.

As far as religious indoctrination, I am hesitant to celebrate that for any child. I myself was indoctrinated into a religion and belief system that I didn't fully comprehend as a young child and then when I became an adult, I discovered far too many discrepancies to consider it valid which threw my entire core belief structure into chaos.

My own father has pushed for my children's indoctrination with the argument that "people exposed as adults (to our belief system) rarely choose to follow the path, they must be brought up to follow the path"

All that does is solidify my stance. If a grown, logical adult can't be swayed to your beliefs, of which you have ZERO proof of, and your only (or at least main) recruitment effort is naive children then maybe your belief system isn't that solid to begin with!

I, too, eventually rejected some notions that ‘didn’t gel’ as a became an adult. But what I appreciate as good parenting is my mother’s relentless efforts to show me a beacon to guide my life, rituals and all.

I like what you had to say, Matthias.

That was nicely stated, Matthias, but...learning empathy and morals are not exclusive to any religion, and I don't like to see them used to support dogma.

Texas_Gem -- Exactly! If an adult wouldn't go along with the tenets, there's something wrong here. How does this differ from what we term indoctrination in other circumstances?

Reminder: I just wanted gift ideas. Thanks.

"I appreciate as good parenting is my mother’s relentless efforts to show me a beacon to guide my life, rituals and all."

The contrary argument, bossy, is as others have described, well stated by TG and chisue. To me, good parenting means parents setting good examples with their own conduct and passing along good values and attitudes that make an impression and STICK. Doing so needn't involve religion and, in my opinion, that approach can backfire and can often be a pretty unsolid base to rely on for a foundation. For those (hopefully) trying to raise independent individuals who think for themselves, directing beliefs by prescribing blind obedience to dogma isn't very likely to be successful.

You can’t be blabbing 10 commandments and reciting rosaries while at same time stealing from boss and cheating on spouse. But I still hold my position of being thankful that mom wanted a spiritual lighthouse to guide me. Was it the best choice? Maybe, maybe not. Is it better that parents let children decide for themselves? Maybe, maybe not. I’m not really interested in making a judgement call on that. I just wanted a little gift for my little neighbor girls.

Our DGD is seven. She still believes in Santa and the Tooth Fairy. Her older brother believed until after he was nine. This 'magical thinking' is normal for children. They are easily gulled. What kind of adult encourages this?

(Chisue, I was going to reply but thought well, Bossyvossy's thread has run long enough. Would you be open to starting a new thread for Santa etc?)

The event was yesterday. Only a few invitees attended church and about 30 people attended the after party.

The gift opening was almost a non-event but I was watching. Some people went the religious way (like me) and gave the girls necklaces, rosaries. The girls wore them around their necks and who knows where they will be a month from now. Most of the gifts were clothes and other fashion trinkets, with which they seemed more excited. Mom distributed bookmarks w/the girls’ communion picture.

A good time was had by all.

the only other thing worth mentioning was that at church, the priest invited the kids to ask questions. One girl asked how long he’d been a priest and a pint of a boy asked how much money he made. A few gasps and nervous laughs followed. After mass I asked the priest if that was planned and he said no, still surprised by the question. I was also surprised such a little kid would be interested in $ matters. Sign of the times.....

my gifts were prayer card and necklace of their namesake saint, crisp $10 bill and a card, about $20 per girl. It seemed average gift value was $20

I think it's lovely you've been invited. I think any gift of cash is okay, ten each is enough.

So, eh, what was the answer to the boy's question?

Ha !!!!

it occurred to me after I posted, that the kid was truly considering priesthood as a possible career but learning from his parents, asking what the returns were was a must ask question. The priest stuttered and I’m not sure he even answered. Kid was probably disappointed priests don’t make fund managers type $.

I had a good time, but need to post that at moments I felt like a square peg in a round hole. While the beautiful little kids paraded to their FC, observers were going crazy w/ their phones capturing every moment, not unlike you’d see at a rock concert. Lots of clapping at the most inane statements. Absolutely nothing spiritual about this, nothing.

I respect Mom for seeing all five girls thru these sacraments, but it seemed no different than any birthday party. In short, I was more thrilled to have learned there was a St Natalia, than the girl was. If I overthink it, I could feel old and dinosaurish.

I searched thru my memory bank and all I could find was my dress, prayer book and playing. So no different than these girls.

Little kids will probably think any number with the word "thousand" in it is a huge number. I tried to look up quickly what diocesan priests here are paid, but only came up with a number for 2010 newly ordained-- $22,848. Of course the vast majority probably get free housing (including utilities? I don't know) which can be a substantial help.

My son is 30 now, but even in his young days I was astonished at how many parents, grandparents, aunts and uncles would get up to make still photos and videos at school events. Now, people walk around every day with cameras at the ready because of their smart phones. That's a lot of photographers.

It's a party masquerading as a religious milestone. A christening is more meaningful, without the pretense that a child is making a conscious choice.

Our family has always respected the religious significance of the children's First Holy Communion and in no way shape or form are they simply a party masquerading as a religious milestone. Our Catholic grandchildren (not all of them are Catholic) attend Catholic schools and our experiences have been quite different from what Chisue has experienced. Not everybody is just into the glitz and gifts. I still remember the seriousness of my own First Communion and since I am 69, that was a long time ago. Of course the nuns were pretty tough back then and everything was very serious!