Well, it seems there is something larger and more ominous at work here. The trees in our yard, almost all of the oaks, are dead or dying. There must be something like 8 or 9 totally dead and that many more now in various stages of disease. They all seem infested with galls once they finally keel over, but I have read that galls don't kill a tree and assume then that this is a consequence of the disease and not a cause. We procrastinated about having the service come in and take the hazard trees out and now I am glad we did because it's going to be an ongoing thing. I guess the only recourse is to call someone from the agricultural extension office about coming out to check for blight or oak wilt or something, and from what I have read about these diseases there is really not much that can be done. Like I have mentioned before, our yard is not like a tree here and a tree there interspersed with grass---it's nothing BUT trees. 20 acres of them to be exact. But that's getting ready to change because regardless of the cause, when these dying ones are down the canopy is sure going to be different. I've become a shade-loving creature and that will certainly be a big change. I wonder what is happening here. And if it's oak wilt,any diseased tree can pass the pathogen on to the next through the roots, so we could possibly be looking at a huge loss of trees here.

You wrote...The only thing I could think off was how good I felt when I was with him in those little "sneaky" moments we get. Are you sure that's not just a rush of "excitement" rather than "love"? No judgement, I've been there. I was married with a small child, very unhappily married, no sex with my husband in a long time, and he had a co-worker stay with us for two weeks. In my house. And girl, was he the most handsome man ever!!! And, to top it off, I was expected to tour him around and entertain him (he was intern from out of state). There sure was chemistry. It was really hard. But I didn't break my vows, and I'm so glad I didn't. He ended up dating another girl with a husband, getting beat up and leaving the area. Then it ended up the IRS and police were looking for him for check forgery. All this from a nice, good looking, seemingly responsible man. Moral of the story? You can't help who you fall in love with. But you can help what you do about it. I'm now divorced for several years, and have met a man much much much more a "man" than that temptation ever will be. Is this my reward? Think of what yours would be if you stayed in this briar patch. Now get out into the sun and live your life. Best wishes, we all know it's hard. But no one ever said it would be easy.

Lonepiper, Although I had a very difficult experience with my skids and DH, I have seen enough blended and second family situations to know that not only can they work, the players can actually be happy with each other and love one another. One of the keys (in my opinion) is not to force a family bonding. This was one of my big mistakes. I have a cousin with two kids, now grown but around 5-6 when she married a man with two kids around 7-9 at the time. They never, ever all lived together. This was a deliberate, strategic decision on the part of my cousin and her 2nd husband. Her kids lived with her, his kids lived with his ex-wife out of state. Not far, but still not in the same town. He saw his kids often since the out-of-state location was right down I-95 and not far. They merged the families slowly, trips to Disneyworld and so on, never trying to be parent to the other's kids and not forcing the clan together. 20 years later the kids refer to each other as brother and sister and the parents, really step parents, stay in more of a friendship mode with their respective stepkids vs parent. I know others with similar situations, just not on this board! Yes, I do envision a life with a better partner some day, why not? That doesn't mean that I haven't learned the hard way to not try to force some new "dad" down my son's throat if that ever comes to pass. Or to try to be someone else's "2nd" mom. Uggg. The walls will be pretty thick between any new person and my son for a long while. That's what I've seen works with divorced people and their kids. But going it alone, and of course, who knows if there is a 2nd act for me, is not what I want at all. I hope I can learn from my mistakes as well as what I have read and learned on this board.

If I had to pick one parent it would be Brad. Of course we do not know the real story and I refuse to listen to any of the garbage on TV about the breakup - that I can avoid - it seems to be everywhere. I feel sorry for the French actress being accused of having an affair with Brad, particularly if she did not. She has a long-time partner and I am certain this is causing her all sorts of grief. Brad at least is not airing dirty laundry, just as he did not with Jennifer Anniston who seems to have made a career out of being the ex Mrs. Brad Pitt. We know he wanted children and she apparently did not. Whatever the cause of the breakup, he at least kept the details to himself. No matter what anyone wants to say, Brad hung in there all those years. I hope that he is given joint custody. I also do not believe that the FBI is speaking to the press if in fact there is an investigation of child abuse. I know people who are wonderful parents who have had Children's Services at their doors because their kids fell playing sports.