Shouldnt I have cried

christine 5b

My x fiance passed away 2 weeks ago and I've only shed a couple of tears, I hadn't seen him in almost 20 years and never dated after him, I'm 67. The reason I broke up with him was because of his drug use, he loved drugs more than he loved me. He came into my life after I had a accident and took care of me for many years until his drug use got so bad, I never knew if he was going to come home at night. Is there something wrong with me, I feel he deserves a good cry from me at least?? Thanks for any replies

SaveComment7Like1
Comments (7)
Thank you for reporting this comment. Undo
sonni1

I've heard that Time heals all wounds - so perhaps you are well.

1 Like Save     Thanked by christine 5b
Thank you for reporting this comment. Undo
quasifish

Hi Christine. Grief is a weird thing, there's just no telling how it will manifest itself. Sometimes the tears come much later than we expect or maybe not at all- who knows why?

When my father passed away last year, I hadn't seen him in quite a while (long story), so I cried initially upon finding out, and then had no more tears for a few weeks. I don't think it registered fully with me at the time how gone he was. Now it's a few months out and sometimes the grief just catches me for whatever reason- it's hard to say why and when it comes. Let it be its own thing. Maybe you had already grieved this man after breaking up with him under such sad circumstances, and you were already all griefed out where he was concerned? No right or wrong here.

1 Like Save     Thanked by christine 5b
Thank you for reporting this comment. Undo
christine 5b

quasifish, my Mom passed 42 years ago and I miss her every day and I do cry for her when I least expect it, sorry about your Dad, it was a loss in more ways than one, I had a love hate relation with my Dad and I didnt cry over his passing, I grieved for him long before he died. Thanks for taking the time to respond to my question.

sonni1, your right, time heals

Save    
Thank you for reporting this comment. Undo
cacocobird

There are no rules -- everyone grieves different. There is nothing wrong with you.


2 Likes Save     Thanked by christine 5b
Thank you for reporting this comment. Undo
JoAnn_Fla

the tears may come one day or not.

2 Likes Save     Thanked by christine 5b
Thank you for reporting this comment. Undo
PRO
Joseph Corlett, LLC

I never cried when my mom or dad died and feel no guilt, however, when my cat was killed by a predator, that tore me up.

2 Likes Save     Thanked by christine 5b
Thank you for reporting this comment. Undo
pennydesign

Oh I wish I could give you a hug...

No...There's nothing wrong with you. Most likely, you did a lot of grieving the loss of him while he was still alive...

Save    
Browse Gardening and Landscaping Stories on Houzz See all Stories
Fun Houzz Everything I Need to Know About Decorating I Learned from Downton Abbey
Mind your manors with these 10 decorating tips from the PBS series, returning on January 5
Full Story
Laundry Rooms You Have Style — Shouldn’t Your Laundry Room?
Make folding clothes your favorite chore of the day with these 10 designer tips
Full Story
Life 10 Things You Shouldn’t Flush Down the Toilet
Heed this professional advice on what should not go down the toilet and how to unclog a toilet
Full Story