As a mandated reporter I can tell you the directive is no physical contact between adults who supervise students. It is safest for the adults and for students. Too much is misinterpreted--as the latest headlines bear out. I hear your concern and agree--but the world we live in no longer allows it. There are too many kids put in the care of non related adults and that is a problem. The biggest joy in my life is when I run into my graduates at the mall and we can greet with a hug. We have both wanted the affirmation of our relationship--but it wasn't allowed.

The recommendation is that girls not hug family members. This increases the isolation that is so pervasive with excessive social media. What will these children be when they grow up?

I'd like to return to the 'rules' I was taught. Only close family hugs. Other people do not hug and may acknowledge anyone with a smile and a nod. A gentleman offers his hand to *another gentleman* -- not to every man he encounters. A gentleman waits for a lady to offer her hand. Ladies do not shake hands with other ladies.

I do not want to hug non-family members. I do not want to shake hands with everyone under the sun unless *I* initiate it. Today, every man -- and I -- must shake the hands of anyone who offers a hand or be considered 'haughty'.

When I was a kid, I never liked hugging anyone that wasn't the immediate family. When I had a kid...she didn't like it either, but I was surprised when I became a volunteer at her kindergarten, at the kids who would try to hang on me. I felt reluctant to hug them back....just a quick hug or pat on the back...because I know how some might misinterpret that. Sad really. And it has gotten more so because of the "stranger danger" that I am very reluctant to speak to a kid if I see one in public. I would not invite kids here or spend time or attention on a kid now, although 40 years ago, kids used to come to my farm and I would take them around and show them the horses and visit with them. I wouldn't encourage this now.

Did I not hear somewhere that the majority of abuse comes from family/close friends and not strangers?

A child should never be made to hug another person.

No one should have to hug someone else unless they want to. I'm not a hugger unless it's close friends or family and I hate it when people I barely know hug me.

When I was working, I was a mandatory reporter. Our rule at school was no physical contact with the students. Many times students would hug staff members, but we would just give a quick pat on the back and gently end the hug. We certainly didn't encourage physical contact in any form.

The only time I ever initiated a touch was the time I grabbed a kid by the arm because she started to chase the school bus when she was late coming from class and it left without her, but that was a safety issue.

No hugging or other physical contact rules protect both the children and the adults who work with them. Hugs can't be avoided entirely, but it's a good policy to have in place.

Even with children of family members, I always ask permission and never just hug. It's their bodies and their level of comfort that counts, not mine.

I agree kids shouldn't be forced to hug. I worked in a preschool for a few years and the kids are very affectionate. They hung all over me every day. We did hug back a bit but we never initiated contact.

As childcare workers, it's sad how cautious we have to be with touching the kids. In college, I worked in an after school program and the kids liked to sit on our laps sometimes when watching movies. One irate parent got a male caregiver fired because a child wanted to sit on his lap, and I thought that was sad.

I think human touch is important and I feel bad that children have to worry about whether a hug is innocent or not. On the other hand, I'm sad that animals, children and adults have been powerless to escape or avoid abuse. I don't know where the line should be, but I guess I will not be hugging any more children in my lifetime.

I've found my happy medium. I will pat a person on the upper shoulder (back side) as I walk past instead of hugging. Some people I will hug, but I have to know they like to be hugged. Touching is important. It has to be nonthreatening though.

When we lived in the Netherlands (as adults) the normal greeting between people we knew was not a handshake or a hug but three air kisses - right cheek, left cheek, right cheek again. I was never comfortable with it.

When my grandchildren, and now my great grandchildren, were little I would ask them if I could have a hug and if they said no, we would just shake hands. Surprisingly, the one who never hugged as a child is now the first one to come and hug me.

Something happened in my childhood, I don't know what it was, that made me very wary of getting too close to people, and as a child and even a teenager I did not hug others. Now, I love hugs.

on other hand, for HS kids, thing to do seems to be long hugs whenever possible an in places where they can draw the most attention. like in middle of crowded hallway when classes are changing. and definitely have a great deal of INsincerity about them.

I am the lucky recipient of hugs! I get them from friends, both male and female, from my grand kids, and my kids. I know only one person that does not want to be touched... and I won't... but she is a really nice person anyway. ;)

Moni

It breaks my heart the way things have changed in our world. In my early years of teaching if one of my little ones got hurt and came running to me for comfort, I could hug them without any fear, but over the years, that all changed to "you can't touch/hug" a hurt student. Teachers were the "mother figures" to these little ones. We had them more of their waking hours than their mothers did.

I'm a hugger by nature.....don't extend a hand to me....give me a hug instead, stranger or not. I love people. I get and give hugs to my doctors. They aren't family....but I dearly love them all. I do understand the reasoning behind the way things are now, but it really saddens me, when the world needs more love and less fear.

I don't like hugs. When we were little and would argue my mom would force us to hug for 30 minutes at a time,chanting "I'm sorry I love you and I'll never do it again". She called it "getting busy." The threat that would would have to get busy was the worst. I would have rather taken a whooping.

Now I don't care to hug anyone but SO,who I love any kind of contact with,or my nieces and nephews,if they ask or run up and hug me. I'll give brief hugs if their initiatied by someone else to avoid making them feel awkward or rejected,but i dont like it. I will offer hugs for comfort in rare instances,such as someone losing a family member or pet but i dont like that either. But if the griever is a hugger,it's worth a little discomfort on my end if it brings comfort on the other end.

My parents and siblings know that i dont like it and don't try it.

As for the girl scouts,i say better safe than sorry. I wouldnt want to risk a little girl being forced to hug the wrong person, or some innocent person hugging the wrong girl and getting in trouble for nothing. It's sad that the world is like that now,but it is.

My wife and I visited a family that had an adult babysitter unbeknownst to us. She wasn't going to let us in, but the four-year-old flew past her and did a full arm and leg plant around me.

"Oh. I guess they know you." lol

I agree that times have changed and we have to change with them.

OTOH, I'm a bit sad.

When I was a shy and scared first-grader, I had a male teacher named Mr. Grossman. Traditionally, the first arrival would lead the rest to the classroom while holding hands. Every morning I would race to school to be first in line to claim his hand. I will never forget the comfort I derived from slipping my cold hand into his warm one nor inhaling the smell of his woolen suit as I pressed my nose into it. As we led the procession of children, I felt like an invincible Wonder Woman.

@anoriginal, I was going to comment on how I’ve notived that HS kids have the longest hugs ever amongst them. I’ve not been involved in school matters for a long time but going by what I’ve read here, the no touching/no hugging thing has been going on for a while. Confusing to me to imagine how a no touch child becomes a touchy/huggy teen. Oh well...

My grand kids 3 and 5 are natural huggers and very affection with friends and family. Probably because affection and love is what they know. When we recently reunited with relatives we hadn't seen in years the cousins. aunts, uncles etc. were all hugging each other.

Now if one of them stated they would not want to hug it would be respected. But maybe because my grands are respected and are being raised to have their opinions and thoughts respected they are secure in the hugging.

I do agree with not forcing kids to hug anyone. But I also think it is not the Girl Scouts business to be advising. They have become more and more a part of the social justice warrior crowd and that is why DD decided not to have DGD join this year. We even mentioned it tonight and she said she is so happy she pulled out at the last minute. Girl Scouts is losing their way. Too much feminism, service, and feelings. Life skills, adventure,sports, fitness and independent thought have taken a back seat.

Both kids are in schools where teachers hug and console. In DGD's public school I think it is because they have a great principal. I have noticed they get around certain district demands by doing activities outside of normal school hours. For example on Halloween they instead of dressing up for school they had an after school fair. The principal in full costume not only led the usual costumed kids march around the school but into the neighborhood bordering it.

My late husband was a secondary school math teacher, spending many years in independent girls-only schools. He was told by the more experienced teachers when he started his first job at age 22 (just a few years older than his senior students), to NEVER hug a student, even if she was in distress - just pass her a box of tissues. No pats on the back, no physical contact at all. He also leaned to never pay any attention to what they were wearing and to NEVER comment on it. And the girls loved to tease him - would sit with their VERY short uniform skirts pulled up and their legs open, hoping to rattle him. He never looked below their heads. He also never met a student in his office without the door open and someone directly outside. Today, most teachers insist on a 2nd person being in the room - too dangerous otherwise.

I cannot imagine why on earth the GS's have a policy on hugging. Strangers, no. Someone one feels uncomfortable, no. But family? Geeze... Of course so much sexual abuse is done by the "mother's boyfriend" so perhaps that was the reason. Child abuse as well - on the evening news, there is usually an abuse case of an infant and the abuser was the mother's boyfriend and mother was not at home.

Our world has become very complex with no one appearing to know what is okay between the opposite sex anymore.

"The recommendation is that girls not hug family members. " Where are you getting your information? I am hoping it is from a Brownie's interpretation of a lesson on boundaries/good touch~bad touch they had, and not from a leader. It is very true MOST abuse on children is from family or people they know..still to stand in a place of authority and dictate family/home behavior is unconscionable!! I am hoping there is a misunderstanding of what the lesson actually was.

arcy, I was curious, too. I had not seen anything about this announcement, and it seemed odd. I looked it up, here is the original GS post. In my interpretation, it doesn't say no hugging, it says to let the child choose, and don't force it. I'm fine with that, nobody wants to hug the creepy uncle.

Girl Scouts blog post

I was raised to only hug close family members. Back when I was a kid, hugging wasn't a thing. The other day I saw a friend at the grocery store and I had not seen her in ages...more of an acquaintance really, she took care of the elderly neighbor next door and we would talk all the time, she was a very nice lady. I really miss both of them, the elderly lady and her nurse. Without really thinking about it, I hugged her with a very loose social hug but then I questioned doing so and it felt awkward. I will not do that again!

Still puzzled here. I really wasn’t aware that there were so many specific rules for teachers, and yet...the news stories of teacher/student trysts have been on the rise. Guess rules go out the Window?

i hug certain kids in my neighborhood. Now that I’m aware of this whole no hug strangers thing, it’s going to be awkward for me when I see these lovely kids. I may chat w/their mothers about it to see how they feel about this.

Kids have so little control over their lives, let them decide who they want to hug. If a child doesn't initiate a hug, honor that decision. (I think all men should wait to see if a woman initiates a hug, too -- family included.)

If a toddler gives me the arms-straight-out-pick-me-up motion, that child's gonna be mine. For a few minutes, anyway.

I dont remember hugging ever being an issue til the GS thing.

1)Can somebody here actually post they were forced to hug when children?

2) if your parents live in another state or country and they come visit, would you not knudge your child to hug once yearly seen granny & gramps whether your child likes it or not? The Grands would be crushed otherwise, wouldn’t they?

3). How does no hugging if you don’t wanna morph into becoming promiscuity central? Media is littered w/free for all hugging (and much more) shows.

4). I don’t think this is about hugging per se but unsure what’s behind it.

As I said before, it's a very, very different world we live in today, and to me, it's a very strange one. The idea that a Kindergarten teacher cannot hug a child to comfort them is very sad.

Yes, it is a different world, and yet it's the same. Vulnerable people, less powerful people, have always been at risk from those who are stronger and more aggressive. And you cannot tell by looking. We all know the old stereotypes of scoutmasters, priests, Etc, people who put themselves into positions in which they will have access to large numbers of vulnerable children, victimize those children, and yet who have enjoyed absolute credibility and Trust. And a child in distress is a very vulnerable person. Hand them a box of tissues? Sure, but hand them a pillow or a teddy bear at the same time. I once spoke with a teacher who taught special needs and at-risk children. One of the clever and caring things that she did was to create a safe Corner in the back of the classroom. She had a giant Appliance box with all kinds of fabric with different textures, velvets, flannels, Etc. Also in the Box were very soft stuffed animals and a few pillows. Anyone who needed a break or a comforting environment could go play in what they call the fabric box.

After reading through a couple of threads here, I'd like some time with the fabric box, please.

I have no memory of ever being forced to hug anyone as a child; I think this is a case of creating an agenda to solve a problem that doesn't exist.

My childhood family was not physically affectionate, but my husband and I have been very different with our children -- even though mine are adults now, we'll cuddle up on the sofa together to watch TV, my girls'll hold my hand as we walk somewhere, etc.

Girl Scouts is losing their way. Too much feminism, service, and
feelings. Life skills, adventure,sports, fitness and independent thought
have taken a back seat.

Sadly, I agree. I was very involved in scouts and loved it. My girls were very involved in scouts, though the new programs are lackluster compared to what existed in the past. I totally agree that scouting has turned towards "girl power", etc. and is largely fluff these days. Scouting has also become too business-oriented. It's a long-time institution that's imploding.