We swap gifts with one of our neighbors, she is my best friend and we are usually together for the holidays. She is now moving to a new house in a new neighborhood. We both cry about. How our lives are going to be so difficult and different than we planned. As long as we are near each other we will continue to do things together.

We had similar changes with our mail carriers and I no longer leave gifts.

I think you should buy equally priced gifts for your neighbors.

I don't mind watching their house, The neighbors on the other side gave me a key a couple of days after they moved in 17 years ago to watch their cats. Don't mind that either. I don't expect anything in return. It's just kind of a weird relationship. Friendly enough,but they have never been in our house (they don't like dogs) and I have never been in theirs. She always calls when they get back to meet her outside to get her mail. I would go the plate of cookies Road ( my mother in law expects to see at least 6 different kinds when she visits, so there are plenty), but I have no idea if they like cookies. Especially since I do the German ones like Vanille Kipferl.

Get your neighbors a basket of snacks and call it even. You can do that relatively inexpensively. A basket, some raffia stuff in the bottom, a couple bags of microwave popcorn, some snack crackers & maybe a DVD from the cheap bin at WalMart. $15 -20 bucks tops.

I wouldn't give the new mail carriers anything.

My mail carriers are pretty bad, but one seems to be okay. The problem is I don't know their schedule so I have no way to reward the semi-good one. I think I may skip the mail carrier gifts this year. Any mail carriers or mail carrier spouses posting here that could give us an opinion?

In general, I don't trade gifts with my neighbors, but one neighbor keeps an eye on our house when we travel. I stop the mail, but she picks up any unexpected package deliveries and clears away any driveway promo litter. I buy her one of the big poinsettias from Costco and give her a card.

If she likes cooking then a penzey's spice gift would be a good one and some are fairly inexpensive. Something like coffee mugs with pretty cloth napkins in the handles would be nice...or fill them with cookies or a couple of nice teas if they like tea. I've given my neighbors a pretty ornament as a gift for the house.

It's the thought that counts. Gift giving should be a pleasure, not a source of stress.

I personally think you are going overboard on both the mail carrier and the neighbor. Scale back - lots of good ideas offered here.

Iris - I don't give gifts just because it's Christmas, if my heart's not in it. Your health is important, and if this causes so much stress, is it really worth it?

On the other hand, I'd love to receive Vanille Kipferl. Haven't had those in a while.

I always gave cookies and got a thank you card from my former mailman. Last year I had a new one and gave cookies and never heard a word of thanks. I think I can give nothing this year? He does bring packages to the back door but does not carry treats for my dog like the old one did. Where I live you cannot give money to them. It is against the law.

As to neighbors, I have something on hand, like a crocheted something for the one next door, and am friends with one down the street so I have stuff for her.

But my pet peeve is that the morning or two mornings after the holiday I get a knock from neighbor down the street with a cranberry-nut loaf and I am not dressed properly, have nothing for them and don't want it. We only say hello a couple times a year while walking dogs. I don't get up early enough and am just thinking I should set my alarm, have something ready, like a doily and cookies? What a pain! I don't want anything from them and would prefer to sleep in.

I now have multiple mail carriers too. This might sound mean, but I’m not getting them anything.

I have no complaints with them or their work, nothing damaged, I just don’t.

I agree with summer. If your hearts not in it & you just feel obligated, I would try to scale back or just give a nice card.

If it were me, I’d prefer a nice card & everything you do all year long.

I have never given my mailman a Xmas gift. He's just doing his job the same as the guys who pick up my garbage. I have never given neighbors a gift either other than maybe a plate of cookies years ago.

I would go with the plate of cookies for the neighbor who gets you snack mix and call it good. You don’t need to worry one little bit about scaling back. Do it with no apologies or regrets.

i have the same issue with multiple mail carriers, so no gift from us.

as far as the neighbor giving GV snacks, i would just give them a bottle of wine which u can easily spend $10-15 and call it a day. they can easily re-gift wine. or a gift card from your local store.

many people have food issues, so i wouldn't do the cookie plate.

I'm with Littlebug,

I personally think you are going overboard on both the mail carrier and
the neighbor. Scale back - lots of good ideas offered here.

Stop and consider that this merry-go-round of gift-giving is out of hand (I'm talking to everyone here....). It creates a daisy chain of guilt, worry, frenzy, overspending. You create a burden for the people you give to, and create unnecessary work for yourself. Lighten it up!

I have never in my life left a gift for: garbage collector, mail person, neighbour, hair dresser, etc.. And I have never in my life received a gift from the above people. Christmas is not about "OMG! I need to buy them something they did something nice for me!" Besides I would go broke if I bought a gift for everyone because THEY DO THEIR JOB THEY GET PAID TO DO. Maybe a card. But a gift? No way.

We live in a small rural community and we pretty much ‘know’ our mail carriers (usually there are 2 that rotate). We had a mail carrier change a couple of years ago, for the better. Not that the old ones were bad, but the old guy wasn’t too friendly sometimes. We had been in the habit of giving a small gift card to HD or a restaurant. Last year we gave Starbucks cards to the 2 ladies. And we received a pretty card from one to say thanks for ‘feeding my addiction’. I guess we will do the same this year.

It was different a generation or two ago. My mother would make cookies for our friendly garbage men, our daily mail man, the milk man. That relationship doesn't exist today. We had the same people in these essential roles for years!

Gifts, other than baked goods, seem more appropriate for real friends, not neighbors whom one barely knows. I still like to bake mini loaves of banana, ginger, or pumpkin bread for neighbors, or a sample of cookies for my elderly neighbor who so enjoys how pretty they are.

We are very close with our next door neighbor, the grandfather and custodian of my little sprites. We give him gift cards to a couple of really interesting restaurants for him to take his occasional dates to; he has no imagination as far as dating goes, lol. He sends us a much appreciated monthly fruit subscription and we look forward to the delivery all year.

Thank you all! I think I am going to skip the mail carrier this year. Maybe start getting smaller with the neighbors each year.

I have never met my mail carrier or garbage collectors in person. Why would I buy them gifts?

From USPS:

Under these federal regulations, carriers are permitted to accept a gift worth $20 or less from a customer per occasion, such as Christmas. However, cash and cash equivalents, such as checks or gift cards that can be exchanged for cash, must never be accepted in any amount.

We typically give her a gift of a piece of paper which just happens to have a president's picture on it. ;)

Elizabeth, some mail carriers over the years have done a really good job. Like leaving packages on the covered porch, minding the "do not bend" and so on, so I like to show them I appreciate it.

That is very nice of you Iris and so in keeping with the Christmas spirit. My mail carrier, unfortunately, does the job of someone who hates their job :(

. . . or gift cards that can be exchanged for cash

So that would make gift cards OK with the USPS, right? You can't cash in a gift card under normal circumstances, can you?

I always give cookies/candy to neighbors and the mail carrier -- whoever happens to come by on cookie/candy hand out day. We mostly have just the one carrier except for Saturdays and vacation

Home made cookies are great gifts! That would be a nice gesture for everyones, neighbors ...mail carriers.

My mail carrier delivers LARGE sinks, light fixtures by the dozen...he & I have had a LOT of talks about my remodels. My neighbor across the street suggested her friend adopt my COPD friends dog. Shiloh found a great home! Another neighbor house sits my cat, grows tomato starts for me every year.

None of us exchange X-mas gifts. We give each other things when we have extra. ie: Walmart had grill covers for $1, I purchased extra & gave them out.....middle of Summer.

Andreap, I'd fix that problem with the early-morning visit from your neighbor bearing gifts you don't want: I simply wouldn't answer the door. That's what I do all the time anyway, when the doorbell rings and I'm not expecting anybody (or even if I am). I keep my house closed up and no one knows if I'm home or not. And even if they DO know, so what? It's my door. If I don't feel like answering, I don't.

Timely post as I was just thinking about this not a half hour ago as I followed the Post guy’s truck up the road, one house at a time...for what seemed like miles. I’m not glad to see that we are the only one’s that have been frustrated with the USPS services but I am relieved to know it’s not just me and my expectations for a door delivery are not too high.

Most all packages we get are crammed in the box at any expense, but when they’re just too big for the box, I find them on the other side of our porch which means they’re literally tossed over the railing (out of eyesight) and no where near the door. It also seems to be a different person every day, so no, I’m not leaving anything out for any of them.

Just my opinion but I think the genious who decided that carriers like UPS and Fed EX should partner up with the USPS really didn’t think that one through. It’s bogged down the USPS and service is no where near what it used to be (and it wasn’t great back then!)

Never for a mail carrier. They're very well paid for what they do. Neighbors? I've occasionally given consumables, a plate of cookies/bars/bread or a beverage I know they enjoy.

Feeling compelled to give gifts to the mail carrier, garbage collector and the like make me feel like you're ignoring the retail merchants who help you, the City/County/State/Federal staff who do their job (or not) and the myriad of others. Cut it back. Time to tame the greed IMO.

Hubby and I delivered the weekly flyer bundles for a couple of years until last year, when his bone cancer surfaced. Lugging the very heavy bundles up 3 flights of stairs, sorting into bundles and back down to the car is what did us in. The actual walking and delivering we loved. We got to know neighbours and dogs.

We had little gifts of money in the mailboxes, a Tim's card, box of chocolates. It was so very much appreciated.

What they appreciated is that we walked up each driveway and put the flyers in their mailbox or on their front porch. Previously they were tossed out at the end of each driveway. And we got them out early. Now that we're not doing it anymore, we might get them Thursday or even Friday, even though they're at the delivery-person's house Tues and Wed for delivery on Wed or Thursday at the latest. We had them at everyone's house 10-10:30 Wed. a.m.

It's nice to hear from somebody on the other side. There is a lot of growing going on in our area, maybe the postal service still has to figure out how to change the routes or something. Once I get a regular mail carrier that takes care with my stuff, I am happily going to start giving presents again. I am just glad you all helped me make up my mind for this year.

We do lots of baking and give an assortment of goodies to various people. It seems to be appreciated and it is something we enjoy.

Our mail ladies have definitely gone above and beyond in many occasions. I used to leave baked goodies for the previous carrier, but he had a heart attack several years before he retired so I thought better of leaving that sort of temptation for him in case he was on a restricted diet.

I can definitely understand you reducing the scope of your gift to your neighbor.

A tin of homemade cookies mean more to me than you might believe. Anything homemade is a real treasure to me.

I do not eat any homemade treats that were not made in my kitchen and we do not gift any.

As for service workers, we discontinued gifting them. Our gifting goes to grandchildren and their mom and dad; my son and his wife.

I give coffee cards to casual aquaintances I wish to acknowledge because I appreciate them. They aren't expensive or very personal, but it's my way of saying thanks.

My mail carrier is almost the last full time postal employee in our rather large city. She will retire before too long. She is the dying breed of carriers who knows the people on her route personally and takes care of them. I always get her a little gift, usually chocolate, at Christmas. There is info on the postal website about what is acceptable, last time I checked it was gifts up to $10. Once she is retired and we are with the ever changing part timers, I will not do it anymore. I consider her someone I know personally and she looks out for a lot of people in our neighborhood.

For the neighbors, I would scale back and buy a bottle of wine (if you think they drink alcohol), or some other nominal food gift. This year for people I wasn't sure about, I picked up inexpensive bottles of Champagne and sparkling wine, each less than $10.