With any family dinner, holidays or not, we always have some hors d'oeuvres available at the before dinner "cocktail hour". 'Snacks' would be too strong a word and imply more of a meal than they are but that's just the way we were all raised. You never served any kind of liquor or even cold soft drinks without 'blotting paper' as my mom called them :- ) Doesn't have to be anything fancy.....some roasted almonds, a couple of different cheeses and some crackers, crudities or even just chips. But just as we always gather an hour or two ahead of the meal for a glass of wine or a mixed drink and to socialize while we dash in and out of the kitchen with last minute fixings, there are always some light nibbles to offset extreme hunger pangs and to "blot up" the liquor :-))

We do not serve alcohol at any of our meals and not always soft drinks. Sometimes it is just water, New Year's Eve probably punch and water. It usually is up to whomever hosts it to provide the drinks. We do not even serve coffee.

Sue

When I hosted Thanksgiving dinners, I always made a relish tray with pimento stuffed large green olives, sweet gherkins, carrots, celery, pickled egg halves and tiny pickled beets. That's what we would nibble on while getting the finishing touches done for dinner.

We always have appetizers to serve as a light meal around noon,and the main meal around 4 or 5. The goal is really to keep the kiddos in the family from whining that they're hungry,and the parents from making them wait for the big meal. This year,I am making our family chip dip,some olive bread,devilled eggs,and a fruit platter and cheese tray. Served in the dining room to keep everyone out of my way while i get the main meal ready.(It won't work,they love annoy me) The big meal is serves buffet style and the leftover appetizers are included. I find that even though we do the traditional meal,in reality, our family prefers finger foods, dips, things to graze on as opposed to an actual meal. That's what we used to do for Christmas eve and new years eve before everyone scattered around the country. It's still my favorite way to eat. But on Thanksgiving we are determined to be traditional,yet find a way to sneak in some snacking.

Just a difference in customs :-) No evening meal is complete in our family without wine and there are always pre-meal liquid refreshments - soft drinks for the kids and (usually) alcohol for the adults. And when you serve something to drink, you also serve something small to munch on as well. That is just the way our family - and most of our circle of friends - entertains.

Our guests arrive 3 hours or so before dinner so, yes, we serve appetizers with their drinks. Nothing heavy. Nibbles. And coffee with liqueurs with dessert. Heathens.

We have not been together with our full families for over ten yrs. WashState, Oregon, Idaho, soCal, New Orleans, Sc, Del, Miami, and we are in NYC.

Getting together is rare and when we do it is not just before dinner is served....it is a 3-5 day event. Some fly in the night before, some the morning of. Even with friends like this year, one couple will be staying overnight and another we have not seen for near a year will come early, before noon, so we can spend some time catching up.

We quit serving hors d'ouvres many years ago. I fix a huge sit down formal dinner, and the kids were ruining their appetites. So I fix a brunch of quiche and fruit We have cheese, fruit and crackers for early afternoon snacks to take the place of lunch. Then the holiday meal is served at 6:30pm with champagne prior to the meal and wine with the meal. DH regularly complains that I have fixed too much food at that.

I am always a bit nonplussed at people who walk in the door and sit down to a meal....no time to socialize and catch up. Remember one time being invited to my husband's aunt's for dinner, easily an hour away over unfamiliar teretory before the days of GPS. We didn't get lost in spite of the rural roads....and as we were arriving, she was carrying the hot dishes to the table!!!
I always tell people to arrive at least an hour before dinner is planned....a cocktail or two a bit of cheese, some conversation....that's what makes a family gathering.
And yes, I always have some nibbles....cheese and crackers, crudites, a few shrimp, nuts and of course snack mix.
A holiday meal is more than what you consume around the table. I think that's why so many cooks are resentful, saying I spend days cooking and they slam it down in 15 minutes. I think a "gathering" is important and then the meal....and then maybe it's time for football!

On Thanksgiving, our family always has a gathering time during which guacamole, crudités, chips, salsa and some kind of dip for potato chips are set out in the living room, and half a dozen (pieces of) hot hors d'oeuvre are set out on a hot tray--more wander in from the kitchen to restock at odd intervals. It's not enough to spoil anyone's dinner, but we eat at 4:00 p.m., so it's enough to tide people over if they haven't had anything but a petit dejéuner.

I love a petit déjeuner!

I grew up with families that couldn't all arrive at the same time, so meal times were hours later than expected as a rule :(

We kids were all starving by the time we could finally eat...I wish my parents and grandparents would have served snacks...or actually eat at meal times, versus wait for laggard relatives. Please note, I have little sympathy for those habitually late.

My daughter is bringing an appetizers and I am fixing a cheese tray.

"Blotting paper" - I love this term! This is exactly what I do as well. We like to have our main meal around 1 pm and I never eat breakfast that day, so by 11 am I am starting to get hungry! We serve mimosas or other cocktails as soon as guests arrive, usually an hour before the main meal, so I make a couple of small nibbles to go with them. This year I'm doing olive cheddar puffs, spiced pecans and bacon popcorn.

I never do a heavy appetizer spread, but one year I had a surprise guest who insisted upon bringing appetizers and brought a TON of really heavy, filling items. They were all delicious, but people filled up on them and had no room for the meal thereafter.

Since we've been going to DS's house and they have early dinner, not so much. Even when we were hosting not a lot. But Christmas is another story. All day grazing with lots of appetizers, but not a sit-down meal. I make a ham and we smoke turkey breasts and then lots of appetizers.

All of our children but one live about ten minutes away from us. The other about 25 minutes or so. We talk on the phone, a lot during the week so there is not a lot to discuss. I also see two of my daughters several times a week. We all pitch in with the food so we women are busy setting up things and the men if they can, help carry the food in the house. After dishes and things are cleared away, we usually go home. I am almost 83 and I am ready to go home by then. :)

Sue

I don't host Thanksgiving but I totally agree that pre-dinner bites are always in order at a festive meal. I just had a couple of friends over for dinner last weekend and I served a cocktail (cosmos) and sliced cheese in the living room before we sat down to dinner, about 45 minutes after they arrived.

For TG, we always go to my sister's house. We arrive at about 10 am for a nice relaxing few hours of wine, chatter, football (with the sound off) and games. Dinner isn't until about 2 pm so yeah, some nice light munchies are served and appreciated. Usually cheese slices, crackers, and the like.

I agree with those who say that sitting down to the meal the minute you (or your guests if you are hosting) arrive is not ideal. I like a bit of socializing before the meal as it fosters a friendly, relaxed atmosphere as opposed to a rushed feeling of "let's hurry up and eat and get this over with!"

" I like a bit of socializing before the meal as it fosters a friendly, relaxed atmosphere as opposed to a rushed feeling of "let's hurry up and eat and get this over with!""

Exactly!! And not just for holidays. All family gathering type meals and even those when entertaining guests should be more than just about eating :-)) They should be social, festive occasions. I see and speak with my extended family often as well but when we gather together for a meal, it is just as much about conversation and camaraderie as it is about cooking and eating.