Could we please see pics?

your kitchen is not rustic, and your living is not modern..they're both of the same aesthetics-fairly tradintional/transitional spaces. The only thing that is so different between them-is color..and I believe if you decide to paint your kitchen's walls your living room wall color it will work really well too..as long as you change your mats and tablecloth. Will work beautifully with your browns.

Or you can try and make living warmer(so the space will read more cohesive) with bringing a bit more golds, greens..they'll work with your blue-grays, and you don't need more than accents..a pillow, a throw, a vase, a plant..

There's no tremendous big fight between the rooms..they're of same sensibility..I think even grays and yellows on the walls kinda work too (depending on a shade, yellows and grays can work quite well together)

You just need to borrow a bit from one and take into the other. So they correlate better.

Now, while you were reading this, you probably felt which color you want to disperse around more so to say, and which-you're ready to see less.

Whichever you feel you want more right now-that's a clue that you should use when planning your dining room.

How do you want to remodel it? Paint? Furnishings? lights? rug?

personally I believe if you change nothing but take there living room wall color-it will work there, and really well too.

I wouldn't just pick a third wall color without deciding on what's my direction first.

"Cool" doesn't equal "modern" and "Warm" doesn't equal "rustic". And most woods work equally well with both cool and warm colors.

You did a good job in your living actually, balancing cooler tones with just a bit of warmer ones, and it works very well. Make the kitchen and the living a tad more cohesive, and you'll see what colors your dining wants to be.

I agree that you have a dilemma. Although both rooms are beautiful, the colors in the kitchen and living room are complete opposites. This is a problem when we decorate one room at a time (which is what most of us do until someone tells us about whole home decorating).
I don't know what the rest of your home looks like, but for these three rooms I would use the walls to create a cohesive color palette. The Grays are too blue to work with the kitchen and the golds and tans are too yellow to work with the blues, but a gray green would work with both the furnishings in the living room and the counters in the kitchen.
The steps in creating a whole home color palett are simple. Gather all of the colors that have to stay (Floors, counters, furniture anything that you don't anticipate going away for a long time). Lay a large white sheet on your dining room table and place the colors as they appear when you walk from one end of your house to the other so that the colors you see when you walk out of the bedroom are the ones next to the colors in the bedroom.
Then gather the colors that you love. Look in your closet, at your jewelry, at the things you have in your home (art, sculptures, vases, pillows). See where these colors work with the colors that have to stay. (The point here is that your home should reflect your preferences, not what someone else is telling you that you should like).
Next step is to pick your neutral. What works with the colors that are on your sheet?
Most homes should have 5 - 7 paint colors. 60% neutral, 30% color, 10% brighter/ deeper accent color. Your 60/30 should be incorporated into the paint colors.

I love the tools that available from Devine Color Paint. They have discovery cards that have half dollar sized dollops of color with a window in the middle of the sheet. The right colors just seem to pop out at you.
The other tool they have are color sheets - 8/12 x 11 swatches of their colors. Big enough that you can set them around your home and live with the colors for a few days before making a decision and actually get a feel for how the color will work..

My suggestions for Devine Colors would be glass, moss, date, muse.

april...seems right. Since you just redid the living room, maybe that is your current taste in colors. What colors are in the dining room rug and do you prefer to keep it? Would painting the dining room walls in a shade of grayish blue work? Add some blue items in your china cabinet/credenza? Recover the chair cushions in a pattern that incorporates blues/golds/deep red? A colorful piece of art on the wall that includes those colors. Blue items added to your kitchen would work. It could be an item or two in primary colors: blue, deep reds, golden tones. Change the rug, tablecloth, etc. The kitchen looks neutral. Very pretty too!! Then adding those same colors in a couple accessories in the living room might coordinate all 3 rooms.