I wouldn’t call it fear or phobia I just HATE going. I hate the scraping, drilling and having my mouth stretched open so long.

Some dentists offer a mild sedative to help.

If you know what's happening and why....would that help? Is it the fear of the unknown....what's coming next?

No one really enjoys the dentist. But think of it this way, if you don't endure regular checkups and cleanings, what they will need to do to you will be MUCH WORSE because you will develop conditions which need more attention!!! So "take your medicine" to ward off even less pleasant treatments. Also, make sure your dentist, hygienist understand any fears you have. If they do offer a sedative, you probably could not drive yourself, so that might be inconvenient.

Most dental encounters should be relatively tolerable, pain-wise. Or, even free of sensation if it's one for which an anesthetic is used.

There are times in life when one needs to just suck it up and endure what's necessary and regular dental cleanings are on that list. As socks says, it's to prevent greater problems and a small matter to deal with to ensure that. Everyone should see a dentist twice a year.

From the time I was a teenager, I greatly feared the dentist. I dreaded going, so would wait till I was in bad shape to go. Until I went to my current dentist about 15 or 20 yrs ago. I told him right away how afraid I was. He made me a firm commitment that he'd never hurt me. That if it started hurting, he's give me more novacaine (or whatever he was using, etc). I only had it start hurting about 3 times and he immediately took care of it. I've never missed a 6 month check up since except for when I was seriously ill and couldn't go.

Maybe if you talked about it, your mind would be eased. We can listen and offer sympathy, but your dental professionals would really be the people trust with your fears.

I used to suffer from a fear of dentists, terribly so. Not anymore, though! I confided my dental history to any new dentist and his or her staff and was always put at ease. No dentist wants you to be uncomfortable for any reason and will go out their way to make your experience as pleasant as possible.

I agree with communication. Dentists can walk you through what they are doing and why. It should never hurt beyond the tiny first needle prick.

There are numerous ways to numb the teeth if you need a procedure.

My phobia would be not getting dental care and having decayed teeth.

Also, bacteria from decayed teeth can cause cardiovascular problems.

I had terrible dental phobia from a childhood experience (dentist in a hurry and filled a tooth without novocaine). I also have a sensitivity to epinephrine, so every time I would have a shot my heart would race and I'd get a fight or flight reaction. So....after avoiding the dentist for too many years, I decided to try a woman dentist. Oh, my, what a difference for me! I think part of my phobia was a personal space thing with having a strange man in such close proximity.

Of course, not all women providers are a good fit, but if you haven't tried a woman, you might. I also have a much better experience in a small office; none of those big production line offices for me. I did eventually get over my phobia and now have no problems, had a male orthodontist and a male oral surgeon and loved both of them. My long time woman dentist has retired and a man bought her practice and I also have no problem with him examining me. I actually now have problems staying awake in the chair - I find it so comfy!

One other trick...if you have to have a shot, do NOT look! I have them shoot me with no epinephrine - it wears off faster, but I don't get the fast heartbeat that I used to.

I agree, Olychick. I had the epinephrine numbing agent and I thought I was dying. I had to sit up and breathe deeply for a few times. Now my chart says to use the other kind and no problems.

It's so important to go for checkups. I had a metal filling that my dentist said was cracked and should be replaced, and I didn't do it in a timely matter. It abscessed (on a Friday night of course), and it was one of the worst pains I've ever felt, even worse than my kidney stones. It was agony for days, and the root canal was such a relief, though it was time consuming and expensive. Now I stay on top of replacing fillings when the dentist recommends.

I was petrified of dentists when I was a teen so I was determined these boys would not feel this kind of fear. Tim 10yo had only had one cavity to date. A very tiny one in a baby tooth and the dentist recommended we do nothing as the tooth would be falling out in less than a year. I had a different opinion. I ask him to fill it anyway as this would show my than 7yo that there's nothing to fear. He was not scared up to this point but I figured a minor filling on a baby tooth would reaffirm that there's nothing to be scared of. The dentist understood and agreed. He explained everything to Tim first. Than he explained as he proceeded...Tim did fine. He left happy and to this day has no fear of the dentist. Neither does Chip who got to watch Tim get his filling. And guess what the molar the dentist said would fall out within a year when Tim was 7 still hasn't fallen out three years later.

I'm not afraid of the dentist because like others have stated, there should be NO pain when the dentist is working on you. My issue is that I tend to get a anxious if it is a long procedure. Listening to music was my savior the last couple times I've had to have root canals.

As a child I did. Our dentist was known locally as "The Butcher". Because of that experience, I'm religious about brushing twice a day and haven't had a cavity since I was a teenager. I didn't see a dentist for a few years when I moved to Oregon so I was afraid I'd have cavities but my hygienist said my home care was excellent. I wasn't even flossing because it's so tedious. Now I go for a cleaning twice a year and floss every night while watching TV. The worse part of my visit is the boredom of sitting in the chair for the cleaning. I did have crowns put on several teeth that had broken from old fillings but there wasn't any pain. Moral of the story is that if you take care of your teeth and have regular cleanings there's really nothing to fear.

My dentist has little tv screens as part of his chairs that have Netflix on them. I watched a movie last time I was in. It really helps to keep the time moving. I watched a really emotional movie and I was sitting there crying and we were discussing how good the movie was! haha.

I always say that if they could come up with noiseless drills and less intimidating-looking needles, a lot of fears would go away!

I hate going.

I close my eyes through the entire visit. I take a magazine with me from the waiting room, roll it up, and hold it with both hands during the entire visit.

this has gotten me through 22 crowns, a few root canals and regular cleanings.

I used to hate going to the dentist. Moved around a lot and always had to find a new dentist. One was a scam artist - he wanted to file all my teeth down because one on the side was chipped! I've also had dental surgery (scaling) twice. Had a very kind dentist, but he died. Now I see a woman, and I go every month for cleaning. She only charges $70, compared to over $100 at other dentists (we are in an expensive area). Getting a monthly cleaning may seem like overkill, but it gives me peace of mind that I won't be likely to have dental surgery again.

Until a year-and-a-half ago I was petrified of dentists I finally faced my fear, and got rid of the two teeth which were very bad. Since I and every member of my family has a predisposition to plaque buildup and all the associated things with that I go every three months. If I were you I would go as frequently as possible at first. After a while it's hard to hang on to the fear.

Besides I've heard fears lie. Also there is nothing to fear but fear itself. Mainly though I told everyone how fearful I was when I first got in to the dentist chair. They asked me frequently how I was doing and upped the pain meds on rough days. I have very few rough days these days. I quickly out lived that fear, hooray!

Next fear to conquer; talking to authority figures and talking on the phone. :-). Fear of success or fear of failure might be in there somewhere.:-) ;-)

If you brush and floss effectively, I think monthly cleanings are unnecessary.

$100 won't get your teeth cleaned in my area.

DF about 30-60 minutes prior to appointment (having someone else drive) takes: alprazolam (Xanax) 0.25 mg & naproxen (Aleve) 660 mg.

Talk with your doc or dentist.

Narcotics. It may still hurt a bit, but you won't care.

Aside from taking Xanax, which seems like a great idea, btw, you just have to focus on the goal and not the hurdle. You know that enduring the discomfort (and that is what it really is mostly these days,) is much better now than the discomfort later. If you wait you could have and emergency, which leads to real pain and whatever procedures you need may be much more involved and lengthy and expensive.

As for the discomfort, I understand completely. I don't like the sounds, the scraping, mouth wide open, the works. Plus, I know full well that anything wrong with my teeth is my own fault for failing to perform proper maintenance- so that makes the experience that much more cringe-worthy.

I don't floss, so I get my teeth cleaned quarterly. Works like a charm- unless I slack off and then ... yuk.

Rita, try the Reach (now Listerine) Access Flosser. Available from Amazon. It makes flossing very easy, your hand remains outside your mouth. It's like using a toothbrush but even easier. Quarterly cleanings are not a substitute for daily flossing.

Wow, that sounds pretty cool. The Access Flosser is in my basket. Thank you.

I see Walmart has it too, much cheaper price. Target too, ditto.

Note, one "head" lasts me for weeks, it's not necessary to change it until it breaks.

Thanks, Elmer. But I just went straight to Amazon (a bad habit, I know.)

I had mostly bad experiences with dentists as a child and teenager, and I'm still not wild about visiting the dentist. But dentistry has come a long way since then.

When my DD had to go for her first check up, I let the local dentist check my teeth first to demonstrate there's nothing to be afraid of. Of course, he found a cavity and suggested it should be filled on the spot. So I steeled myself to endure a filling while smiling so as not to put DD off.

As it turned out, my fears were unnecessary as this guy was really good and it didn't hurt at all. I still go to his practice even though he's moved 100km away and I'm seeing his partner now some 30 years later. I've recommended his practice to friends who are also happy with him. By contrast DH just goes to anyone and isn't happy with the service he gets.

I know someone who gets nitrous oxide (laughing gas) for every dental visit.

CindyMac, my mouth was very sensitive, so I used nitrous oxide when I would get my teeth cleaned also. I don't need it much now though.

Funny, on my dentists's card is the claim "We cater to cowards".

When I was a kid, I was terrified of the dentist. I'd start getting sick to my stomach a good 2 weeks before the appointment. I'd think about it constantly, agonize over having to go, and on the day of the appointment I'd actually start shaking. I did that until I was 18 years old. At that time, I was sitting in the waiting room, shaking like a leaf, when this thought entered my mind, "What exactly are you so scared of? Has the dentist ever hurt you?" The answer was no, and I stopped shaking right then and there. I realized that my fear was worse than anything that happened when I was at the dentist.

I'm sure I'm in the minority, but between the ages of 18 through 44, I absolutely LOVED going to the dentist. Dr. Green was the sweetest, gentlest man and when my kids came along, they saw Dr. Green as well. Some people like others playing with their hair; I enjoyed having my teeth cleaned. Not just the way they felt afterward, but the actual process. He took several weeks off each summer to go to Mexico and do free dental work. What changed? Dr. Green retired. I'm sure the young man who bought the practice was a fine dentist, but he didn't instil confidence in me and when he moved to another town, I found someone closer. I still enjoy the results of dentistry, but no longer enjoy the process. My new dentist is amazed that some of Dr. Green's 40 year-old fillings are still doing their job.

I enjoy my home care process, I can't imagine anyone thinking it tedious. I floss religiously every night before brushing and sometimes after a meal if I feel something snagged.

My biannual cleaning is a non-event.

DH had a couple of patients he would prescribe ONE Valium or xanax for before an appointment, but they were able to get past their phobias after a few visits. He retired from his practice here after 35 years last month and the group that bought his practice had a celebration of his legacy event for him. I was amazed at the patients that showed up and the stories they told of him going above and beyond. Lots of tears of sadness for losing him, but many best wishes for this next stage. Also some very touching notes have been received. I am a proud wife seeing how much his patients thought of him.

No phobia, in fact I usually like getting my teeth cleaned. Tomorrow have a temporary crown to do, not looking forward to that. I remember them having to make a mold of my mouth before and using those dental rubber dental dams or whatever they're called when they're grinding your tooth down to nothing. Yuck.

When a dentist is good there is a lot of love from his patients. My grandfather's funeral was standing room only. I was shocked. He had stopped practicing almost ten years before he died.

Not sure if I would call it a phobia, but I am anxious. About making the appointment, waiting for the appointment (some dentists around here have a more than three month waiting list), and being there. Logically, I know I shouldn't be this way, but I just am. Last time I went, I randomly burst into tears. I was so humiliated by this as it wasn't an emotional response. Ugh. My case is extreme, I will admit.

How do I handle it? I don't. Xanax has the same effect as a Tic-Tac on me. I do my deep breathing and try to focus on other things. I've noticed that not all dentists will give you nitrous for a cleaning and I've had varying degrees of success with even that (sometimes it works like a charm, sometimes not).

I do suggest you find a dentist you "click" with, and that's a personality rather than reputation thing...and sadly you will only know this after the appointment :( However, you can ask questions before you go, such as do they offer nitrous for cleaning? Do they do fillings at the same time or do you have to go back? Do they swab with a numbing agent or do they just dive in with the needle? Is it okay to bring your headphones and music?

Make sure you tell the front desk to please note on your information that you're anxious. Also tell the assistant...she'll tell the dentist for you. If you opt for the nitrous, be aware that it may affect you too much to drive (it does me, so I have someone drop me off and pick me up) or be prepared to sit in the parking lot until your head clears.

Good luck. I know we can both do this.

ETA: It does help if you can get someone (obviously who knows you well enough to know what's going on in your life) to make the appointment for you. It helps ME to be told that I have an appointment on such and such a day, I don't know why and I don't question it.

HTH

I pull up my Big Girl panties and just do it.

I love the undivided attention of a woman to whom I'm not married. Cutting my hair or cleaning my teeth doesn't matter, the pain is worth it.

Joseph, you poor thing, lol.

I'm a gagger and have a tough time with the dentist. My hygienist is wonderful and very patient with my need to rinse and spit very often. I looked high and low for a dentist who still had a spit sink and was most relieved to find one. The dentist himself is rather clueless about my problem but tolerates my rinsing and spitting. For me, having Novocain is helpful as I can't usually feel what's going on in my mouth. :) Those who have no problem going to the dentist do not understand how very difficult it can be for some of us.

There are dentists who specialize in (or advertise) dentistry for patients with high anxiety. Have you looked for them? Also, check Yelp and read the reviews. I strongly believe in being open with all concerned about dental fears!

sjerin, for many people with large tongues or large soft palates, the gag sensation can be triggered by having the head back too far. That's the case for me. My dentist knows that my head has to be higher (the seat back more upright and less horizontal) than for other patients and when that's done, there's no problem. Try it next time.

Elmer J Fudd (formerly S Whiplash)

"If you brush and floss effectively, I think monthly cleanings are unnecessary.

$100 won't get your teeth cleaned in my area."

Elmer, you are great at making assumptions. I have mild cerebral palsy, so flossing is difficult. I do it twice a day. I also had braces as a teen, so I have spaces between my teeth. Not everyone walks in your shoes!

Take a look at the Access Flosser, it's an ideal tool to make flossing quick and easy. I think ESPECIALLY so for anyone with a hand strength, dexterity or mobility limitation.

Sorry Sherwood, but I did find it ironic that you would speak of one dentist as a scam artist (deservedly so, I'm sure) but then mention another who goes along with monthly cleanings. If this is by your suggestion and not the dentist's, I'd think the dentist would speak up about it.

Like Olychick I also have a sensitivity to the epinephrine in the anesthetic. I finally found a dentist who listened to me and used a local without the epinephrine. He also uses Nitrous for those who want it. It helps lot. I'm now relaxed while having dental work and don't dread the dentist any longer.

I had a bad experience with a sadistic dentist as a child. No doubt his methods would get him arrested in current times. For example, he comes at you with a drill without telling you what he is doing., You scream, he puts his hand over your mouth and nose and tells you if you want to breathe you will do as he tells you and shut up. As you suffocate you nod in agreement. You are 10 years old.

So although my dentist is a great guy and I see him 2x a year I still dread going. I get nervous for a full month before the appointment.

s

Blue, how horrible. I am so sorry you had to endure that kind of torment. I cannot imagine what you went through.

I had a horrible experience with a dentist when I was 17, which left me with a life time of dread. I am over it now because I have implants and the dentist who did them is incredibly kind, patient, and gentle. I still have to have them cleaned. I use a water pik and electric toothbrush daily, so the cleaning is very much a non event.

@ kathsgrdn, there is technology to get a crown in a single visit, no temporary needed, CEREC.

Dentists in my area have used Cerec CAD/CAM and computerized milling for ceramic products for decades, I believe since the 1990s.

My dentist uses it too. It's great.