I don't think it is your job to shore up her boutique. Even a bevy of friends most likely could not generate enough sales to save her. I might avoid the topic and if I couldn't I would make my replies rather vanilla.

I would start the conversation asking if she's interested in some honest advice. If she is, bring up the fact that you found the same jewelry for half off at another store. If she's selling the same sort of stuff other local retailers are selling, she's not likely to succeed as she won't be able to price it as low. If she wants to keep her prices high, she needs to sell things that are not available anywhere else. Maybe she can form some relationships with local artists who make jewelry. She needs to get creative.

She should also think about some other services offered. Not everyone will automatically buy the cheapest thing. Some people will prioritize really good service and more of a personal shopper relationship. As a small business, she can do that.

I love Chi's advice. My take on this is more cynical. If your friend wanted to know the truth, she could have easily ascertained it herself. Don't buy anything you don't want to buy- it's not going to save her anyway- and stay mum about her business plan. People lash out at those who tell them truths they don't want to hear.

I don't think her prices are high just to be high, but more like, at the prices she buys, she needs to charge what she's charging to stay in the black. I don't know all her sources but mostly she goes to Dallas market.

Really? Jewelry artists? There are soooo many of those, the only people that are making money are the jewelry supply stores, ha.

when you preface a statement with "do you really want the know the truth" It implies 1) it's gonna be bad and 2) one won't naturally tell the truth unless specifically asked. I shy away from that preface, ha.

protect your pocketbook! no amount of spending on your part is going to save her business. if she asks your opinion/point of view and is ready for the truth,, than give it to her.

owing is business is very hard work and not everyone is cut out for it.

just read your last post: at least when u preface a statement with "do you really... at the very least it prepares them for bad news. better than just blurting it out. if she is really your friend, then she should respect you for telling her the truth.

i always say "if u don't want to hear the truth (my view) then don't ask for opinion/advice.

Since I am say what I mean, and mean what I say kind of person, I would let her know, that I just can't afford her prices.

Moni

Maybe it depends where you live but I live near an artsy community and the local artists make incredible jewelry. I'm not suggesting she partner with people who buy beads at Michaels and call themselves a jewelry maker.

I mean, you don't have to exactly phrase it like that but if you're going to offer advice, it's best to know if the recipient is open to it, especially since it's a sensitive matter. You know your friend better than any of us. I don't know how helpful it would be to just say her prices are too high. And buying a random item or two to feel less guilty won't really help either in the long term. It's just a choice between trying to help and letting her figure it out the hard way.

I think the answer to your question depends entirely on how strong your friendship is and how well you know what her reactions are apt to be.

If y'all are the proverbial "BFFs", and you know, beyond a doubt, that she values your opinions, then yes, by all means bring the subject up in a diplomatic way. If your friendship is more a casual relationship, don't say anything unless she asks for your opinion.

Rusty

I wouldn't buy just to try and help her because that's not going to make or break her business. If you don't want anything that she has to sell, don't just buy it. It's a nice gesture to buy from a friend's shop but it sounds like you have already done that with the jewelry and kind of got burned on it.

If you decide to provide any feedback, yo may want to use the Socratic method and ask illuminating questions. Who do you see as your competitors? What do you think your value is? How much do you think people have to spend on this category? Why do you think someone would buy from you instead of from XYZ? How do you compete with online retailers? (BTW, the answer to the last question could provide the key to a turnaround. In my town one of the local independent booksellers(Kepler's- much has been written about them in the national media if you care to look into the story more) struggled mightily and had to be bailed out by the community. The bookstore turned itself into an amazing place filled with lectures and events, thus differentiating itself sufficiently from Amazon. Brick and mortar stores have to give people a reason beyond buying to come into the store.)

Any "bad" news like this, is just stating the obvious and she'll be closing in another 6 months anyway....don't say anything. You can voice your concerns here....to get it off your chest. :0) Feel better?

I once shopped @ an over priced dive shop. Got cool stuff...but she closed and moved anyway....to be with her boy friend in another state. Friends come and go.

Then there's a running shoe store. I paid the going rate for a pair of running shoes, not over priced at all, then found them online for 80% off. I didn't go back and they're still there. Let someone else support them, I say. And...no, I don't know the owners. :0) There is a difference.

There's a tiny boutique store in my little town. It does poorly and the only reason its still open is the store owner owns the building. Problem is this lady sells mostly things she buys from other stores. For instance TJ Maxx sells many imported bar bath soaps, all beautifully wrapped, perfect for a boutique store, except TJ Maxx sells them at 2.99 to 4.99 a bar and this lady sells them for 9.99to 15.99 a bar. Its not just the soap its also her costume jewelery, scarves, purses, ect. She buys off clearance racks andthan sky rockets the prices.

This being a small country town the nearest decent shop is 30 minutes away. I would personally be happy not to have to drive into a larger town when I need a bar of Scottish Milk Soap or a bag of Vaska Lavender laundry detergent if the prices wernt marked up so ridiculously high. I'd pay 5 $ for my bar of Scottish soap instead of 3 in order not to have to travel but not 10$.

I have always dreamed of owning a small boutique. LOL

Should you tell the truth? I think everyone should always tell the truth. That doesn't mean you need to answer a question that hasn't been asked or provide unsolicited advice. If asked, you should answer truthfully and politely.

Those who like to pound the drum for "avoid big box stores or chains, support your local businesses" often haven't stopped to fully understand that "local" retailers usually have much higher prices than can be easily found elsewhere. I would feel no personal obligation to help bail out a friend from a poor financial/business decision.

I agree with Rita for limited exceptions where the greater community good is served, like bookstores. But if I'm buying a lot of books, or a new one with a premium price, I'll look online and often wind up at Amazon.

In these cases, my first priority is to support "ME"!

Well, unless she lives in denial, she knows why her shop is failing.

Plus...she didn't ask you for advice, anyway.

She may resent you for offering unsolicited advice. She may also resent you (when she goes under) for not "supporting" her by buying....

Tough spot for you to be in :(

Who knows why her shop is failing, and having friends come in and buy one item isn't going to keep her shop in business in the long run.

Her shop could be failing because of high prices, poor marketing, advertising in the wrong places, poor location, no parking, no complementary nearby stores, poor staffing, poor relationships with suppliers. Stay out of it.

I think you can be supportive without opening your wallet. Conversations about how retail is struggling, you admire her tenacity and spunk to give it a go, finding a niche, etc. Empathize about how difficult it can be to make a go of it these days.

I know some boutiques in my area have events, like "Girls' Night Out" where they all participate and serve refreshments, wine, chocolate and maps to all the other shops participating. Maybe the idea about quality artisan jewelry with open houses and the artist's appearing at the store. Or people who make a specialty clothing item in the area - scarves, purses? Think about other art, too, hanging it in her store and open houses for the artists. People love to look at and shop for art; might expand her customer base. Serve wine and hors d' oeuvres. Maybe a gourmet chocolatier could host a tasting, or??

Lingerie trunk shows, special fittings, etc - bras especially as they can be hard to buy online and good quality is a seller. Hosting nights for men to shop for Christmas and Valentine's Day can bring new people in. She may appreciate some advice about ways to market her store.

I've read that you need to be able to carry yourself for two years before starting a small business. How much longer could her friends 'carry' this gal?

Most people have no interest in hearing the truth about anything - their business, their marriage (if a partner is cheating), their children. She hasn't asked for your advice and I would avoid offering it. You also do not need to shore up her business. You need say nothing - just don't buy. If she directly asks you to buy, explain that you have more jewelry than you can possibly wear and can't help her.

Undercapitalized small businesses are doomed to failure.

LOL Anglo, I was going to draw the marriage cheating parallel- it is exactly the same- people know what is going on- they just don't want to admit it- and believe me they will shoot the messenger on sight.

I don't think I've ever encountered a small business person (not just retail, service providers too) whose business acumen and practices were anywhere near where they should be, for what they were trying to do. Not ever. I've run into some very sorry situations. Not even those who are "successful" (able to produce a comfortable income) seem to have a good grasp of basic things known and practiced at larger and well run organizations.

Those of you who say "she knows why her business is failing" may be simplifying the perspective. Yeah, someone can know that receipts don't exceed expenses by enough without any clue as to why that would be. And don't think that's so easy to know either, many small business people have appalling cash and bookkeeping practices and don't have basic accounting information that would give a clear message when they're on a quick downward slide.

Bossy, I would not buy something just to buy it. I also don't like the idea that your friend is carrying things that are common in a discount store and expect you to pay twice as much.

If she sold unique items, then you can't really compare them and so maybe the price is justified.

Many have dreams of opening up their own stores without the know how to make it work.

Yes, there are many ways to get creative. But, your friend is not asking that.

I would ignore her hints, but act supportive.

She should have never opened a shop, but I understand why she did it. First, she's an attractive woman that can wear a $2 top and look stunning. Secondly, she is creative and with a unique sense of personal style. And that's the thing. She thought she could translate her flare into a biz, w/o knowing about merchandising, inventory control, Yada yada and now she's struggling big time. Not unlike those situations where people LOVE to cook and think that's enough to open a restaurant.

She will fall on her a@@ and recover, I know that much about her. But I feel genuinely bad b/c I saw the writing on the wall from the get go and she didn't. It is a very fine line as to where and how you support a friend vs. being a Debbie Downer.

@oklaMoni. I can afford her prices but do I have to when I can find a cheaper alternative? She knows how much I spend on plants, for ex. So I could not say "I can't afford it" with a straight face. So, overpay once, ok. Twice, nice of me. But how many more times? Multiply that by the number of friends to support and my wallet would resent me. Where does one draw the line?

You need to sit down and tell the truth to your friend, if you don't how can you remain friends if you can't be honest. She also should not take advantage of a friendship, that is not what friends are for. Much to be considered in this relationship.

Some businesses are hobbies- and some hobbies are expensive.

I wouldn't tell her anything at this point. Just shop elsewhere without mentioning it. If she should ask you though for example..why didn't you buy that scarf at my shop than tell the truth, you found it at a much better price somewhere else than change the subject.

I've been put on the spot by friends, neighbors, family members, and co-workers' wives over the years. People wanting me to buy Avon, Tupperware, host parties for kitchen gadgets, cheap home decor, jewelry....you name it. Nope, I'm not doing it.

I have a very good friend who ran a successful catering business that she gave up to have her family. Once the boys were older, we all strongly encouraged her to get into it again but she opened a small, quaint, waterfront restaurant where she served desserts and only desserts. This in a small coastal city with a big tourist crowd who wanted seafood fresh off the boats! Eeek!

We, her loyal and loving friends, gained a few pounds in support but we knew that it was doomed. She followed her passion instead her great business sense. She refers to that time as her 'temporary insanity', lol.

Be a Shark.

I'm out!

In Dallas, hard to beat Sam Moon trading for costume jewelry.

How much is her friendship worth to you? How close of friend is she? If I can buy a scarf at TJMaxx for $20, or my friends boutique for $40, once a month, I'll spend the extra $20 to support the friend. Then probably instead of going out for drinks & dinner, will do lunch at Panera instead.

Yes, her business will probably fail, but she will remember your support.

Everyone is different but to me, there's no reason to have to pay for friendship nor tolerate being used by someone who imposes financially on her "friends" in that way.

I would buy a small piece of jewelry in support.

Years ago in April in Michigan, my 6-year-old niece who lived with us asked if she could go swimming in the lake in the back yard. Since mom was at school and I was in charge I said "Sure honey."

I'll never forget that green polka dot two-piece running down the lawn to the beach and into the water. "Eeekk! It's too cold, Uncle Joe!" Who knew?

Of course I could have told her and she may or may not have believed me, but why not let the lake speak for itself? Same thing here. Stand on the lawn and smile and let the marketplace tell her what she needs to hear.

Too many people shop online and have the world market a click away. You have to be really unique and competitive to survive in the retail world. You have to know your market too.

I have had an Etsy shop for quite a few years. It took a year to fine tune it and learn my customer base.

Bossy, unless your friend asks your advice, I wouldn't offer it. It might be a touchy subject and she take offense at what she considers criticism.

Thanks Micheletx and everybody else's for the great insights.

A friend took me along shopping for her store. We stopped at a wholesale warehouse to buy items I saw her competitor selling for 50 dollars. She was going to ask 30. The items cost her 12. I looked online at home and found the exact same product for between 16 and 25. Now they are very cute but everyone can get out their phone and see that they could get these for 16 with free shipping.

Maybe your friend with 'flair' could transition to being a Personal Shopper. She could earn a commission helping other women dress well. No rent. No inventory.

no, her flair doesn't nevessarily work with others, at least not with me. She told me she bought a few items with me in mind. I tried them on and they were pure hideousness. The good outcome is that it got me off hook for a while about buying clothes, I can get by w/earrings and such.

i think I like the idea that someone posted about saying how hard it is for small biz owner to compete with WM, TJMaxx, etc.

this is a little off topic but I remember a friend (not BFF) started her own plant nursery. Her pricing was high, she thought she could run a biz just 'cause she liked plants, same story. I would stop by and get a few 4-6" plants, as support gesture. Others did the same. In less than a year she had to close the biz. she had a closing sale and all of us "friends" showed up for the bargains. I always wondered if she saw us as sharks circling the remains.