I also have a cheating wife and I went through all the above. I would not give advice to anyone, but, I can share what I have found. The actual hurt diminishes in time. It doesn't completely go away. I made the mistake to immediately forgive my wife out of love, and according to her friend she took it as "I didn't love her enough to be mad at her". Your going to hear a lot of bull about it being half your fault. Unless you are a real bad guy, the problem is in her head. After time you will resent her. Not resent her for cheating, but actually resent having to "help her through her problems". If you don't have kids, dump her now! Life is too short to waste it on her. If you have kids, then do the counseling thing. Where am I after 4 years? I am tired of hearing about her being lonely. Her life is no different than mine, and I don't get that option. I am tired of compensating for what going on in-between her ears. I am not her mother or babysitter. When we have sex, in my head I still see her giving head to her first boyfriend, bouncing up and down on her second boyfriends lap, oral sex on her girlfriend, and going down on the last guy (friends boyfriend) for 3 hours because he had whiskey dick. Yes I made the mistake of asking for details. I used to love sex, now she repulses me. She is in a depression now and lives in bed when not working. I now have to live in a pig sty. Her nick name from her girl friends is "Fat, Drunk, Slut!" "Her" friends feel sorry for me. I am trying to figure out a way to leave her without effecting our kids. If I find the right woman, I'm outta here! F... Her!

Of course I don't mind, LOL. It was fun to see the quilt again. I said up-thread that the individual squares to make the nine-patch were 5.5", which made the block 15" finished if left as a nine-patch. Sliced and diced you lose a half inch in both directions, so the finished block is 14.5". This quilt was 20 blocks (4 x 5) with 5" borders. Overall size was 68 x 82.5". But you could start out with any size block for the nine-patch, and adjust it for your needs.

It was chocolate with homemade (not by me of course) vanilla frosting with exactly 12 chocolate sprinkles. Then I had the strawberry one as well buy failed to count the sprinkles as I felt too stressed at the time. I had two because the first one did not do the trick. PO1 I have no desire to add to my stressful life by contacting my dad's other children. We were not raised together. Maybe it isn't their fault but their biological mother locked me and my brother in a closet for days during our visits to my dad's. I was 8 the last time I let her close and lock the door on me. So no thanks. I have no need for reuniting and reliving the horror I sustained while my dad was married to their mother. I'm sure she abused them as well but they did move away with her and have continued to stay in the same area as her so I bet there is some loyalty to her, she is their mother. I know where they are. My sister keeps in touch with them. My sister and I are so different. She is best friends to this day with a girl who stole her bike, pushed her in the street and beat her face in. That girl would be no where near my face after that attack but my sister is forgiving. The same reason she tolerates my dad's inability to commit to being her father for longer than a week after 40 yrs. What surprises me is that she was 13 when he left and so she was very effected by it but she just has this need to know all of her blood biological relatives. The same way that she is attached to antiques and old pictures. I honestly don't care for the junk. I have no attachment to blood ties - maybe because I am 100% effected by being raised and loved by people who are not blood related to me. I have an entire family of non blood related people through my stepdad. My sister is not close to them because she was older but I was still in diapers. I don't feel the need to go off and find all of my dad's offspring. I'm sure there are more out there. He is good at reproducing. I just feel no attachment to them. Maybe I am weird but I just feel nothing. One half brother is dying. He has aids. He doesn't take care of himself. He prostetutes.. Why would I want to even say I'm related to someone that is possibly spreading a disease because he is ignorant and angry? I have NO desire. I dont care to know the other one either. The one time I did talk to him, he told me he remembered that I stole his toys. I was 5! He was still holding it against me. I had to steal something otherwise I was locked in a closet or not fed. I needed something to draw attention to myself! I have overcome that abuse. It never really defined me. I never really had issues. I was a great kid. So was my brother. My brother went on to serve our country freely and proudly for the last 17 years. So proud of him! We both overcame it and although I know it wasn't their fault what happened, I just don't want to bring that back in to my life. As far as my dad, I just don't know what I want right now. I considered writing him a letter and just calling it the end. No more contact. Move on. But the other part of me is scared I'll need his kidney one day. Actually that was a joke. I think putting it in writing makes it final. I don't want to hurt my dad. I don't want my words to burn into his eyeballs but I'm certain I just don't want a relationship with him. I just don't know if I want or need to tell him. I have nothing to get off my chest. I have told him all of the things I am sharing with you all, already. He knows it all and all he can do is say I'm sorry, again. I don't want him to say I am sorry. I know he is. I just have no interest. Do you think I'll change my mind as I get older? Not sure. JMT for the record, I agree with you 100%. I already said that and I don't think you need my approval but I completely get what you are saying. A bio parent that gives their child up for adoption is no more a deadbeat than a man who gave up his rights for the same reasons. Just because you both didn't give your child up doesn't change the circumstances. Maybe it would be different to PO1 if you BOTH gave the child up for adoption. Then you are selfless and did what was best for the child. For some reason we as a society say that because MOM kept the baby then dad should have to keep the baby too. But you have opened my eyes to that just isn't how it is nor should it be. I would probably have been so much better off had my dad just walked away and never looked back. Instead he wanted to drag us around to each girlfriend/new wife he had where I sustained abuse and guess what... Dad wasn't home anyway. He was always at work.

Bless their hearts!!!!! There should be more people in the world like them!! DB & DSIL have a little boy living with them right now. He is about 19 months old. Long and sad story, but I give them credit for taking him (he's a relatives child) She is DH's age. (56) I am not sure I'd have the energy to do it. I don't know the legalities of their story, eventually the mother will have a chance to get the little boy back. I know there will be some hearts broken in the end (theirs & the little guy) if/when he leaves.But they have done the right thing for the child.