Joining a rose society... Tell me the positives and negatives

6 years ago

I really just want to have a bunch of you over, drink wine and champagne, talk about roses, and a bunch of other stuff that has nothing at all to do with roses, but makes us laugh.

Around here that’s usually called “book club.” But I don’t want to join a “book club.”

I have been a member of a bunch of other organizations that have parliamentary procedures and while they were wonderful, I honestly don’t have time for duties and responsibilities right now.

Can I join a rose society without having duties and responsibilities?

Is it fun, or kind of blah?

I have been considering the Mt. Diablo Rose Society for a while because they have a relationship with my favorite nursery.

Let me know your thoughts and experiences. Thank you!

Featured Answer

Moses, Pittsburgh, W. PA., zone 5/6, USA

6 years ago

last modified: 6 years ago

Cori Ann,

My personal experience with the local chapter of the ARS I was a member of for a number of years a while back, was mostly negative.

It was primarily a show club, with spiteful, ultra competitive exhibitors who had to get a queen at every show or there was 'h-ll,' to pay. If you did not exhibit, which I did not, not having even the slightest interest in doing so, I was not really accepted, just tolerated.

The clique mentality was in full force, and the clique did not accept the "wrong type," into their fold. I was the wrong type. I was an unacceptable outsider from day one. Truthfully, there was nothing endearing, educational, or redeeming there to sustain my involvement.

Although there were a very few lovely, kind members, they were far outnumbered by an abundance of affluent rose snob members who looked down their noses at me. This made me very uncomfortable, enough so, to eventually cause me to discontinue my membership, after reaching my limit of endurance.

I am certain that when I discontinued my membership, and stopped attending meetings, I was not missed. Neither did I miss them.

Cori Ann, I have no pleasant memories of my tenure in my local chapter of the ARS, period!

Moses

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Comments (38)

nanadollZ7 SWIdaho
6 years ago
I can't help you, Cori Ann, but I'll be interested in the answers you get. I like your idea of wine and rose talk--maybe some will bring a bouquet to admire. Just fun. I love to read, but I wouldn't want to join a book club, either. I remember those groups with the responsibilities. Looong meetings with old and new business. Money making projects. Noooo. Diane
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oldrosarian
6 years ago
The sad reality is that rose clubs are dying, even in England. Going to a meeting and having interesting discussions with people who are also interested in roses is the upside. The downside is that it depends who is the president, pleading for volunteers all the time and making people feel quality if they didn't offer on a project to make money for the club, the list goes on. Except for the evenings that they had a really interesting speaker, instead of Mrs. Frisbie ,( who had to bring her loud, runny nose kids, )showing you how to make weird flower arrangements, it gets to be boring. With rose speakers, there seems to be a local type that is always out of date and sitting for an hour listening to Mr. J Neuton Numskull really puts you off going again. I was a vice president for 10 years and I still am not mentally normal.
Cori Ann - H0uzz violated my privacy thanked oldrosarian
diane_nj 6b/7a
6 years ago
last modified: 6 years ago
Wow. I've been a member of the Jersey Shore Rose Society for 23 years, including serving as president. You don't have to be on the board or an officer, and it is nice if you help out at events, but it isn't required. Sadly, our society's membership has steeply declined. We do have a few members who come to every meeting, and we work to educate on all phases of rose growing. We hold a Q&A session before the general meeting to answer any questions. We also have many discussions on growing without synthetic chemicals. We also work closely with the other area societies to share information. Yes, we have an annual show, but we don't focus on exhibiting.

Contact the Mt. Diablo Rose Society and ask if you can attend a meeting before joining. I have met many great people and have had wonderful experiences.
Cori Ann - H0uzz violated my privacy thanked diane_nj 6b/7a
Cori Ann - H0uzz violated my privacy
Original Author
6 years ago
last modified: 6 years ago
Hmmm. This is what I was afraid of. I really just want to have some fun with like minded people. That’s all.

I have no interest in exhibiting roses, but I’m going to their rose show on Saturday to see how I like the vibe of the people there.

Some of the presenters at meetings this past year seemed interesting. They seem to get quality presenters. http://www.mtdiablorosesociety.org/programs.html

That being said, the program for the next year isn’t out yet.

I wish some of the local members were active rose forum gardenweb members here, so I could get a feel for the group dynamic. Some social clubs around here can be very stepford wifey, where I just don’t fit in (very happily). I guess I will see what happens on Saturday!
Cori Ann - H0uzz violated my privacy
Original Author
6 years ago
Thanks for balancing out the conversation Diane. Good idea. I will definitely ask after meeting a few members this Saturday if I can attend a trial meeting. :-)
berrypiez6b
6 years ago
Cori Ann, could you start your own get together with the garden knowledge you have to share ? I would sure come if I was in your area. Then you could have all the elements of a fun inspiring time without the monotony. I gave two tea parties last year, really fun and am on something else now. The death of our beloved dog last week has forced me to look at my life and think of some new way to devote some of my time. If only our Forum gang lived closer what a society that would be to end all.
Cori Ann - H0uzz violated my privacy thanked berrypiez6b
Cori Ann - H0uzz violated my privacy
Original Author
6 years ago
Ha! I don’t have enough garden knowledge to start a group, but sure, I could host get togethers. I have no idea where to round up like minded people though, nor do I want that responsibility. I guess if the Mt Diablo Rose Society doesn’t work out I could talk to local nurseries to see what other ideas they have.
Zack Lau Z6 Connecticut
6 years ago
As I see it, if nobody has time to contribute or take responsibility for running a rose club, it won't be a rose club for long. Obviously, people do have to take time off. It just wasn't practical for me to contribute when I was juggling a full time job and taking care of my wife with end stage ALS. An easy way to contribute is to give away good roses that people new to the hobby can grow. I have some Earth Song and Rhode Island Reds that should be big enough to give away next Spring.

We just had Mark Windham, an RRV expert, give a talk on this dreaded disease and provide a hands on demonstration of identifying those tiny mites.
Cori Ann - H0uzz violated my privacy thanked Zack Lau Z6 Connecticut
Cori Ann - H0uzz violated my privacy
Original Author
6 years ago
Thanks Zack. I’m so sorry to hear about your wife.

As a member, not someone who runs it... is there still a big time/responsibility commitment?

I’m really looking for more of a kind of social get together with like minded people it seems... not an actual parliamentary procedural club.
zack_lau z6 CT ARS Consulting Rosarian
6 years ago
At our club, we have volunteers that help out with refreshments and name badges. Name badges are provided at the beginning and they are collected at the end, so people don't forget to bring them. They also identify the CRs, who are typically more knowledgeable in answering questions.
Ken Wilkinson
6 years ago
I've been a member of rose societies in FL and now N.E. GA since 1988. Some were great, others ????. It mostly depends on the people that are part of the society. You are always going to have those "I'm better then you" people involved in everything. No matter where you go. The good part for me has always been finding people that want to improve on what they do and are willing to share it with everyone. They don't treat you like your stupid because you bought a rose because of a pretty picture. EVERYBODY does that. Share experiences and laugh at something that we did. My biggest thing now is find someone fairly new, learn what they want from their garden and help as much as I possibly can. When you have a happy gardener, you have a member for life. That's my take on it after all these years.
Cori Ann - H0uzz violated my privacy thanked Ken Wilkinson
Kristine LeGault 8a pnw
6 years ago
I agree with Ken, each different group will be different depending on its members. The group I was in wad pretty welcoming. Their focus was always on showing the roses but, there were some great knowledable speakers. One of the members had 1800 roses and he was so kind to a Newby like me.

So go to a meeting snd check it out. You would add so much and bring a new energy to the group.
Cori Ann - H0uzz violated my privacy thanked Kristine LeGault 8a pnw
Lilyfinch z9a Murrieta Ca
6 years ago
Cori Ann , there is a website called " meetup " and when you sign up, can choose from a ton of different groups already made in your area . I recently discovered it and joined a local sahm group as well as the Nashville garden club. People host open gardens when they want to or share photos or info. Also I know the Nashville rose society allows free visits to the meetings , so I'm hopeful yours does too. Membship here is only $25 a year and they have rose sales and garden supply / vendor sales so I do think it's worth it ! Good luck !
Cori Ann - H0uzz violated my privacy thanked Lilyfinch z9a Murrieta Ca
Lisa Adams
6 years ago
It sounds like so much fun in theory, but I’m with most of the others. I’d like just a casual get together without all the politics and such. Too bad we are all so far apart. I just want our group to get together and talk Roses! Lisa
Cori Ann - H0uzz violated my privacy thanked Lisa Adams
Ann9BNCalif
6 years ago
Hi Cori - I joined the Northbay Rose Society last year, so I've only got one year of experience to share. My impression of our group and others around the Bay Area is that the members are much older than you; I'm in my early 60s and many of the members are about my age or older, so that would be something to consider.

There is an emphasis on exhibiting which I'm not crazy about, but I had fun doing it early this year when I won the Best Novice prize and I'll likely do it again just as a learning challenge.

In terms of learning new things, some of the speakers have been great, others so-so. I believe you can get more information from this forum than from the society.

My rose society lets people come to a few meetings to see if they are interested before joining so I would contact the Mt. D group to see if you can do that. They would be very lucky to have you join but I'm not sure how much you'd get out of it.

I'm enjoying the people in my group, more than the rose info. I'm doing some care giving, and will likely need to care for my 90 year old mom soon, so going to the meetings is something I look forward to.

Ann
Cori Ann - H0uzz violated my privacy thanked Ann9BNCalif
summersrhythm_z6a
6 years ago
I am a member of a local rose club, I don't have time for rose shows, always forget about the monthly meeting, only go to the annual picnic. I have the most roses in our club though. Lol
Cori Ann - H0uzz violated my privacy thanked summersrhythm_z6a
Cori Ann - H0uzz violated my privacy
Original Author
6 years ago
If I join I have a feeling that is the kind of member I will be. ;-) An abesentee member until the fun stuff.

I would offer to host the picnic though.

It’s only $20 a year so maybe worth it just to check out? I will see after I meet a few members on Saturday at their annual rose show. I would like at least one other member to be from my generation too... good point Ann.

This past year some of their speakers included Burling Leong, Stephen Scanniello, Greg Lowery and Darrell Schramm. I think I would have enjoyed those.

They have Judy Eitzen speaking next, who I have heard before at the Sacramento Cemetary rose garden. I also bought one of her cute rose gardening aprons.

Great points made by all. I wonder why the members aren’t on here. They’re missing out!

I will keep you all updated on how it goes!
nanadollZ7 SWIdaho
6 years ago
I wonder why more ARS members aren't on the forum, too, Cori Ann. Maybe it's just too unstructured for some--lots of agreeing and disagreeing opinions, all kinds of climate zones, income brackets, ages, and my goodness, there are wonderful people here from Australia! We get the ultimate in varied input, and I love it. But...no face to face experience with our fellow forum members. Is that a negative or a positive? Diane
Cori Ann - H0uzz violated my privacy thanked nanadollZ7 SWIdaho
bossyvossy
6 years ago
I belonged to a couple. What posters have said here is quite accurate, meaning your expectations will be deflated by reality of club behavior. It seems many members want to relive High School antics and behave accordingly. But HST, I developed 1-2 friendships from the clubs that are absolutely precious to me, to this day. So, participation was worth it. Attending a couple of meetings will help you assess whether they meet or not your social needs.
Cori Ann - H0uzz violated my privacy thanked bossyvossy
Cori Ann - H0uzz violated my privacy
Original Author
6 years ago
last modified: 6 years ago
Well Diane... It’s a positive when I’m in my scrub clothes and don’t feel like being seen but still want some social interaction. It’s a negative when I want someone to drink wine with in the garden or to split shipping costs of mail order roses. ;-)
Lisa Adams
6 years ago
last modified: 6 years ago
I totally agree, Cori Ann. No dressing up and looking presentable. Also I get to pick and choose what parts of my garden to show here. I can take some pretty nice pictures, and fool everyone into thinking I have a lovely garden, if I don’t show EVERYTHING:) Lisa
Cori Ann - H0uzz violated my privacy thanked Lisa Adams
Ann9BNCalif
6 years ago
I've noticed that while my rose society has a Facebook page, no one posts their rose photos, or any communication other than what will be presented at the next meeting.

It might be a generational reason that older people don't take as much advantage of social media to learn about their hobbies and connect with others who are involved in the same activity. This might be why more ARS folks aren't on this forum too. ARS has a Facebook page but I'm not sure it gets a lot of activity.

Ann
Cori Ann - H0uzz violated my privacy thanked Ann9BNCalif
barbarag_happy
6 years ago
I got a lot of attention at first when I started attending meetings, but after I regretfully told one person after another that I don't grow any exhibition roses (in fact no HT's or floribundas at all back then) there were no more friendly greetings.

I actually started feeling kind of apologetic. One member wrote a newsletter column about growing roses organically; I would like to have met her but never did.

When the preliminary schedule for the show came out, I went thru it looking for classes I could enter. It's the club's choice what to include and they had no classes for OGR's or shrubs. So there I was with 70 plus varieties of roses and nothing to cut.

I volunteer in two public gardens and have gotten some gardening buddies but none as into roses as I am. However they help me feed and dead-head so of course I love them!
Cori Ann - H0uzz violated my privacy thanked barbarag_happy
hoovb zone 9 sunset 23
6 years ago
Every club has a different dynamic, and it is best to find one that makes you happy. Usually guests are welcome for a couple of meetings, so you can get the vibe of the group.

Don't overlook non-rose clubs. A garden club might be focused on a plant group that you don't particularly care for, but with great people to hang out with and discuss plants with, it can be fun anyway. Gardeners are usually the nicest people.

I'm really interested in and grow many succulent plants, but the local c&s club is notorious for being clique-y so I'm investigating others--the local California Native Plant society and local California Master Gardeners are supposed to be really good. Every group usually has rose growers because roses are so, you know, loveable. Keep looking until you find a group right for you.

Even a casual network of friends can be a club. I met some great gardening friends via blogging and reading other people's blogs. I don't Facebook but am advised there are a lot of Facebook plant-interest groups now and you can find local people that way.
Cori Ann - H0uzz violated my privacy thanked hoovb zone 9 sunset 23
Embothrium
6 years ago
last modified: 6 years ago
Maybe you should just get to know more people in the neighborhood and hang out with them, instead of trying to find an organized existing group that fits what you want to do.
Cori Ann - H0uzz violated my privacy thanked Embothrium
Cori Ann - H0uzz violated my privacy
Original Author
6 years ago
All fantastic ideas. Thank you all for your invaluable feedback.

Embothrium unfortunately I already know all of the people that do their own gardening in my neighborhood (very few of us here)... while I adore most of my neighbors, I’m looking for people with just a bit higher knowledge, interest and passion for gardening. People who might want to go with me to gardening events so I am not always dragging my poor husband who tries his best to be interested in gardening themed events (but they must be people who also have a sense of humor and are genuinely weirdly fascinating... otherwise they will probably find me annoying).

I will keep my mind open to other gardening groups too. Great ideas Hoovb!
Embothrium
6 years ago
last modified: 6 years ago
Any already extant club will have things going on that you will have to adapt to if you want to participate. Including a need to sustain itself. Otherwise two common elements I have observed over the years are a tendency for a few that are willing to commit to it to get stuck with getting things done, while the majority seem to be primarily looking to be entertained. Also these days, for whatever particular reasons hobbyist plant groups drying up as older members disappear seems to be common. Even though there is supposed to be a cadre of young people coming along who are nuts about plants*. (Although I suspect this focus may be primarily on types like food plants).

*There was an older set who gardened, followed by a middle generation that isn't interested and then a much younger group that is returning to it. So basically anyone who isn't ancient or a kid may find the number of like-minded people to be somewhat limited. This is so consistent at this time that a landscape architect and a landscape contractor I know both report that almost nobody they work for wants anything to do with garden plant selection and maintenance.
boncrow66
6 years ago
Cori-ann you seem like an outgoing and approachable person so I bet if you attend a few meetings you may end up meeting a few people who are like you and would love to get together maybe once a month to drink some wine and talk roses without having to be in a "meeting" setting. And if you don't meet anyone that's up to that then at least you know and you haven't really lost anything. If I didn't live in Texas I would gladly sit in your beautiful garden and talk roses with you while enjoying some wine.
Cori Ann - H0uzz violated my privacy thanked boncrow66
stillanntn6b
6 years ago
Another approach would be through your library. Ask if you could bring roses to show and invite the library to show off their plant books. Advertise it two to three weeks in advance and see if anyone shows up for a late afternoon show and share.

One problem is time, which day, what time, traffic stand stills, and (in my part of the country) competition with Church, with high school sports, with availability of a venue.
nanadollZ7 SWIdaho
6 years ago
Well, now I know why I'm interested in growing roses---I'm ancient! So nice to have that splained to me. Diane
SoFL Rose z10
6 years ago
I recently joined a rose society and although I've only been to a few events and meetings, I've enjoyed it. However the society i joined is an hours drive away. Kublakahn (another garden web member) have been talking about starting a new society nearer to us. (We live near each other).

I think the biggest problem with many of these societies is that they are old fashioned and resistant to change. Few if any have little to no younger members and so they don't cater to modern interests.

The good thing about the GPB rose society is that they don't focus on rose shows, this is because there are none in south Florida. This opens things up a bit for other activities which can be fun.

I plan on making a more modern rose club and hope to bring in a younger generation of rose lovers. I'm not sure if it will work out, but I think it's worth a try.

And yes, I do plan on serving wine :) If not at the meetings at the events :)
diane_nj 6b/7a
6 years ago
We have a table at the NJ Flower and Garden Show every February. What we're told by people who do stop by (and we get quite a few) is that younger people "get their info from the internet and don't need a meeting or a club", and people with school-age children don't have the time to attend meetings. Our newer members have children that are teenaged or older, and in many cases, they are retired.
titian1 10b Sydney
6 years ago
Cori Ann, if I lived nearby, you'd have trouble swatting me away.

I joined a rose society here. I'd hoped to feel encouraged, but found it rather the opposite. But it's worth a try. I'm looking forward to hearing how you got on.
Cori Ann - H0uzz violated my privacy
Original Author
6 years ago
Soooo.... Met a few members and the current president at their annual rose show today. They were very welcoming and encouraging, not cliquey at all. They were very happy about the idea of getting together for wine/garden impromptu/social talks outside of meetings. They invited me to the next few meetings without me even having to ask and were excited about me bringing in a few rare roses as a game to see if they could guess what they were. Very cute. No one from my generation so far, but I’m hoping for maybe one or two at the meeting. I will be going this Wednesday to check it out further.

Rose show pics...

Eugène de Beauharnais...

Prospero...

Lyda, Munstead Wood (I wish it would stay that color in my yard) and a bunch of others...

Purple Tiger, Gemini, Marilyn Monroe and a bunch of others... (and my hubbby chatting up one of the members in the background)

Blush Noisette (why don’t I have this?)

I found a garden club locally too that I might try.... great idea HoovB. They make trips to Filoli, iris farms, geranium farms and a bunch of other places I would like to go, so that may be a good group for me!

Thank you so much for your ideas and feedback everyone. I value your opinions so very much.
Vaporvac Z6-OhioRiverValley
6 years ago
That's so great. It looks like at least some of them grow a variety of roses including OGRs so that's a good sign! I'm not that old, but I once found a profile for me that said I was 72! I guess I have "old" interests! Isn't that silly? Gardening does take time, but my mom found it raising kids and doing everything else she did. I think things go in cycles. food crops are popular, and maybe that will bring an interest in other plants. An interest in medicinal/beauty/dyes brought me into plants so it's not always a direct route.

I used to be the youngest in the Wildflower Society, but now there are quite a few students from the University that have joined.
Cori Ann - H0uzz violated my privacy thanked Vaporvac Z6-OhioRiverValley
sharon2079
6 years ago
I joined a rose society in order to learn more about roses and how to grow them. I find it extremely helpful to know what others are growing in their gardens in close to mine.... and I have also learned that differently places have micro climates that cab also affect my roses. The society that I belong to brings in guest speakers and demonstrators to make the meetings fun. We had a hands on meetings to learn how to make flower arrangements, and another where we did a rose cutting hands on demonstration to make our own cuttings. We have a Holiday potluck dinner, and we have played rose bingo. We have had a garden tour, too. I think our society is very great and tries to do what the members wants to do. If someone comes up with a great idea, the first question is "Do you want to be a chairman for the idea".... but if you don't that is fine too. The organization wants people to be involved, but at a level that you are comfortable with.
jim1961 / Central Pennsylvania / Zone 6
6 years ago
Thats great Cori Ann! :-)