Just raise the price and if you R better than her last cleaning person she will pay the rate increase. Most of the people for which we clean have jobs where their medical insurance is taken care of and all of their taxes are taken out from their pay check. If 1 is self-employed, we pay our own and pay higher % in taxes as the IRS thinks that we R not paying what we should. I never take cash, only a check. I don't want any problems with the IRS. The thing is that I do give a full report to the Gov. and declare everything. I also use all of my deductions. I don't know where U live or what U charge but I just raised all by $50 to $75 and there was not a problem. The cheapest condo is $200 and the most $$$ house is $400. They had not problem. I have been with them 4 years and they did not even care. I have been with some of these people for 17 years or more and they really don't care. For what I do the will not be able to find any one as good. They even fly me to open their houses so they don't have to deal with a servcie. If U R good at what U do just raise them! Why would U have to defend yourself?!!! Steve

Look back on your own childhood and how you were parented. Is there a good example there? I was blessed with good parents who taught me about parenting by example. They made me feel valued and accepted for myself. Some people think they need to mold their children, make them into "something better." They mean well, bless their hearts. But you have to let children be themselves, learn about who they are, and figure out how to be their best selves. It doesn't mean you don't expect good things from them. It's a shift in thinking to "I know these kids do good things, and are capable of even more, and I'm watching for that" instead of watching for the mistakes to criticize. I have spent time with many other mothers. Some of whom I admire very much b/c of how they relate to their kids. I learn from them and try to model what they do when I notice something I really like. I remember noticing one mother whose kids were great little people, not just well-behaved, but really happy, well-adjusted kids. The thing that stood out to me was the mutual respect. She talked to her kids the way she wanted them to speak to her and to others. Of course she corrected them, but she corrected them the way an adult would *want* to be corrected by, say, an employer. With respect and a goal in mind. Once when I was preggo with #1 I observed a mother in a store, total stranger, whose kids impressed me the same way. I complimented her and asked her for insight, telling her that what she had accomplished was my goal. Every time I ask a parent I admire, it always comes down to respect. Just because they are children does not give adults the right to belittle them, rudely criticize them, embarass them, and generally disrespect them. That's hurtful, and hurt kids cannot be their best selves. It's a good idea to find a moms' group to join. That saved me when my kids were young. The exchange of ideas and comraderie of knowing you're not alone is invaluable. You'll meet parents you like, and some you don't. But you can learn from all of them. If you see your husband's anger as part of the problem you really have to find a way to address that. You still have a long road ahead, so find a way to have these conversations. Does he think he's right in what he does? Or do you think he's also confused and without ideas? I know I don't always do the right thing with my kids (ages 7, 10, 13 and 16). I try, but I have bad days. So does my DH. If I don't like the way he handles something, I tell him later, when things are calm. It has taken practice to get to the point where we know which of us handles certain situations better and we let that one handle it. I'm better at handling school stuff. When our 16 y/o gets a low grade, I remind DH to look at the big picture before he acts rash. Is this one low grade among 10 good ones, or is there a pattern? DH is better at handling DS's social life issues, he knows how a guy thinks and is better at getting to the truth with DS. Parenting takes practice, it really does. The fact that you are thinking, questioning and trying to make adjustments is a good thing; it doesn't mean you're failing. When your kids are babies and toddlers and you are physically exhausted, not sleeping, can't close your eyes or take a shower- people tell you "It gets easier." They are just trying to make you feel better for the moment. It does NOT get easier. The issues of that age pass, but it just gets hard in new ways. Emotionally exhausting ways instead of physically. ;o) Not to scare you, just acknowledging the truth of it. If you were expecting this to come easier, but it's not, it is not a comment on YOU, but rather on the challenge of parenting.

I lived in my former house for 15 years and put my heart and soul into making it exactly what I wanted. I said many, many times that I would have to be carried out and would never, ever be able to leave it. I knew I would be absolutely heartbroken to have to walk away from 15 years of plants that I nurtured and fussed over. Then we decided to move, for several reasons. Let me tell you- the stress of prepping that home for sale, de-personalizing everything we had designed for our own specific uses, and trying to sell it in a dead market just about did me in. I was ecstatic to walk away and never once looked back, nor did I shed even the first tear. I felt as if I had escaped to be honest. Emotionally divorcing happened during the decluttering, POD loading, and staging with neutral objects. Most of the things I loved were in storage and my attachment to the gardens just sort of ... waned... in the face of all else I was having to deal with. Once you make the decision to sell move forward and don't look back. It can be a huge and daunting task and you need all your focus just to get through it. Future projects are always more interesting than former projects anyway, and a new house is the most interesting project of all. I will always love that garden and I have tons of photos and memories to reflect on when I feel the need. I know it is not being looked after properly (no one else could ever do it as well as me!) but I got good money out of the sale and it has enabled me to move on to the next phase of my life, so in that respect served me very well. Life is a journey, not a destination, and to have new things you must give up the old. It's the circle of life.... and I'm rambling terribly. You'll do fine when it comes to leaving for the last time. The excitement over the new house over rules all else.

There are actually different kinds of carpenters. Rough in carpenters frame buildings, install sheathing and so on. Finish carpenters install moldings, build stairs, decks, doors, and windows. Cabinet makers make/install all kinds of cabinets. A job in the finish carpentry area should be a bit easier to find, since rough in crews often move to find work. The trade school is a good idea. As is asking a contractor for a job. There is another way, although it takes longer. If there is an active Habitat for Humanity chapter in his area, he should be able to volunteer and get a bit of knowledge and experience helping build their houses. There are other groups that do similar building as well. Another option is to try to get a job with a remodeling company