12 Years Ago Today

6 years ago

Twelve years ago today, our family celebrated our daughter's wedding in southern California overlooking the Pacific. Our newlyweds met in San Francisco within weeks of his arrival from his home in Louisiana with a newly minted MBA from the University of Chicago and a job in finance. She had graduated from SLO and had been working in San Francisco for a couple of years. Her friend invited her to a fellow alum's birthday party where they met. At first they were pals. She even fixed him up with some of her friends. But within weeks, their friendship developed a spark that grew into a strong relationship and a marriage two or three years later. They have two sweet young boys and now live in suburbs midway between Dallas and Ft Worth.

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sheilajoyce_gw
Original Author

6 years ago

Yes, Socks. We still are not happy about the separation, of course. We were spoiled when they lived in Los Angeles, 75 minutes away and close to her uncle and brother. Nowadays, she visits 4 times a year, and we take the boys at Spring Break so that they can tour Napa wineries with his parents for his birthday celebration annually. We call and email a lot. We are happier having them visit us (than us flying to Dallas) and so have not been to Texas with Grandpa offering plane tickets for visits here whenever they can come. Here, they can get around to see friends and ex classmates, and she always has one of the cars at her disposal too. So it works, but not as well as when they were in LA. However, they are happier there than living in crowded, expensive big Los Angeles with a job he loves, so we are happy for them. Having moved all over the country ourselves, we know we can't expect our kids to stay close. They love the quieter suburb with a nicer home, job, schools, and neighborhood. It is hard to leave family and friends, but they are getting to know great folks there too. He graduated from TCU and has a few college couple friends in the area, and she is getting active as a parent volunteer at their schools and meeting other moms. They left really wonderful friends in San Francisco and then Los Angeles, but luckily they are making friends there too.

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Comments (14)

donna_loomis
6 years ago
Happy Anniversary to your daughter and son-in-law!
hounds_x_two
6 years ago
Lovely story! Cheers for all!
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God bless you. You've suffered losses these recent past years and yet you're still standing. What an amazing strong person you are. Please forgive this lengthy tale, but to me this gives hope that our loved ones are always around though we can't see them. My 29 yr old brother was killed in 1977 and it's hard to believe so much time has passed since his death. I believe in signs,and I know you do, too. So let me share this with you. I always wondered what he would have looked like as he got older and I almost got to see first hand. I was at a social function with about 100 other people and found myself in conversation with an attractive gentleman that I imagined would be how my brother would look at this age had he lived. As we spoke we found we had so many things in common...previous pet's names, childhood experiences, similar likes and dislikes. He asked if I had any relatives in PA (we're from FL) and if I possibly had been adopted as a child because I looked like so many of his cousins. In fact, I looked as if I could be a part of his family. I don't have family there and I wasn't adopted. I then admitted that I imagined my deceased brother would look like him if he had lived. We went on talking and found we had many more common experiences than we originally found out about. Then as a joke we asked each other for our birthdates to see if that was a commona factor as well. I gave my birthdate first and he said his was different. Then, he told me his birth date and I was stunned! I burst into tears and he couldn't understand why. Turns out his date of birth and year were my brother's birthdate. What are the odds of that happening? I feel this was a way for my brother to let me know he was okay. I feel I was blessed to have spent an enjoyable evening with my brother that night and it gave me a sense of peace. And by the way, this man wasn't on the guest list. He was visiting a friend and just tagged along for the evening. I hope each one of you who has experienced the loss of a loved one will receive a sign that all is well. And after all these years I confess I still cry.
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socks
6 years ago
Sheila, didn't you post some time ago when they moved to Dallas/Ft. Worth? You were feeling a bit sad as I recall (or maybe I'm confusing you with someone else). If I'm correct, how's it going? Have you been to visit them, kept in touch with facetime, phone calls, etc.?
Elmer J Fudd
6 years ago
last modified: 6 years ago
I don't know what the right word is (it isn't Yuppies anymore) but SF has become an ever stronger magnet for 20-30-somethings over the last twenty years. It always was that to some extent but much more so now. Many Silicon Valley tech companies have done a reverse migration northward to establish very significant office and employment presences in the city. From that soup of young, well-educated, and well-paid people, many matches and life partners result.

A happy story for them and your family, sheilajoyce
socks
6 years ago
We have recently had a similar experience, Sheila, and I thought of you and wondered how it was going. It's so important that they are happy, kids are in good schools, house is good, etc. We would never want our kids to stay put just for us, would we? It's wonderful we have such good ways to stay in touch now. (Unlike when I was 20 and left the country for 2 years; my mother and I just wrote letters during those years.) Maybe when the kids are older, they could come spend some time with you.
carol_in_california
6 years ago
Did she go to Cal Poly?

SLO County is a great place to live.
sheilajoyce_gw
Original Author
6 years ago
Yes, Socks, I often think of the early decades of our country when young people headed off to make their way in the world. Family may have been left behind on the east coast or even in Europe, and mail was infrequent and unreliable if the sojourner was able to write or inclined to do so. No corner post office, no stamp to lick and slap on it before dropping the letter in the slot. No air mail or delivery within the week. I count myself lucky that there are so many ways to stay in touch. Elder son just returned from a very belated two week honeymoon in France, and we heard from them via emails while they were driving around to see lavender fields. (These days I worry when they are abroad, so it was nice to hear that all was well--though very hot even with so called air conditioned B&Bs.)

How far has your child moved from home? It is all a matter of attitude; you can make yourself miserable if you want to, but why would anyone want to do that? We were impressed with the positive attitude of our grandsons with this move. They were happy and excited about the whole experience, even going to a new school where they knew no one. DD and DSIL are great parents.
sheilajoyce_gw
Original Author
6 years ago
Yes, Carol. She fell in love with the campus when she and her best friend visited the friend's brother as he was starting there as an upper classman. He had rented a house with friends, and the girls visited him before the other guys arrived the summer before their senior year. He toured them around and was so excited about finally attending SLO that she caught the enthusiasm. She came home really wanting SLO, and started there a year later. She had a good time and an excellent education there as a business finance major.
glenda_al
6 years ago
Happy for them
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Anglophilia
6 years ago
Congratulations on their 12th! My DD and her husband had their 20th this past Feb - can't believe it has been that long, but then their First Born is 17 and a HS senior! Has all gone by WAY too fast. I'm very lucky that they live 2 miles from me, but I rarely see DD as she works so hard and travels so much. Used to see the boys all the time but not as much anymore - too busy with a million things.

DS lives in CT with his two children so don't see them very often. He's divorced so time with them is very limited and travel from there to here, very costly. Breaks my heart but it is what it is...
Chi
6 years ago
I was at the University of Chicago around the same time he was! I believe we also were married in a similar location. Pretty neat! Happy anniversary to them!
socks
6 years ago
Sheila, East Coast. We're in CA. Thank you for your thoughtful, wise replies. I am ok, put my "child's" happiness above all of course. We talk on the phone, text, send photos nearly every day, share family news.
katlan
6 years ago
Happy Anniversary to them. Many more happy, healthy years.

12 Years Ago Today

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