Moonie, I am appalled as well. Don't be mad at yourself, sometimes when we see something awful, words escape us for awhile because we are upset.

But bringing the experience here was a good choice, because next time you, and we, may both be more likely to respond loudly at such behavior.

Lucille is right. Sometimes I think we are so shocked, we can't immediately react as we should. I too am glad you told us about it, moonie, because it might remind all of us to speak up when we see people behaving badly against others.

Any chance the store owner knows the man? It very well could be that the man in the wheel chair needs to be reminded to quiet down at times. We often had to hush my father (Alzheimer's patient) during outings. At times other people who knew him and his condition also did.

I was thinking along those lines too Maddie.

It's possible this guy is known by the owner and is a regular visitor to the store. Or maybe not. What bothered you most, were his words less than fully polite and respectful or would you have preferred he said or did nothing at all?

There are times, not infrequently, that I'll encounter kids who are not being supervised or not adequately so and being much too rowdy or loud for where they are. Whether in a library, running around in a store, or other non-playground place, I've been known to put a finger to my lips to politely suggest they settle down a bit. In any of these situations, I'd love for whomever they're with to approach me and say something.

The do him no service by expecting people to deal with a problem that we have no way of knowing exists.

Exactly.

I've had experiences with both types of scenarios mentioned here. The first is similar to the shushed old man and to this day I wish I'd made a stand but I was also so shocked that I didn't move fast enough. I was in a pharmacy where the front cashier was right next to the exit door. The old man ahead of me was very slow and unsteady on his feet and was still slowly trying to make it to the door by the time I had made my purchase. All of a sudden an entire family rushed past him, the old man nearly fell down as they all pushed him aside trying to beat him out the door. I was so appalled I didn't have the sense to do or say anything, since it did happen so fast.

But I've also witnessed disabled people really acting selfishly especially when they are riding those carts in the grocery store. They will suddenly back up without looking, they will park the cart in the middle of the aisle while looking for something and not move an inch when someone is trying to get by. And when there are aisles that are crowded with shoppers and carts they will glare and even verbally chastise others that they are in the way. I have sympathy for the disabled but the fact that they are disabled doesn't give them the right to behave like a royal despot.

There was once where I took up for this poor mother trying to pack all her little kids and groceries into the car as quickly as she could and the parking space next to her was for disabled. The man who wanted that space started yelling at her to hurry up and close her doors. She was in the middle of trying to buckle one of the kids in and he kept blowing the horn and yelling at her. I went up to his window and said "man, can't you give her a break, she's going as fast as she can with all those kids" - he then started yelling back at me and said "someone needs to give me a break, I'm disabled". I told him he needed to cool his jets and called him a name I won't repeat. The woman thanked me for taking up on her side.

Moonie, next time something like this happens, you will remember this incident and perhaps step in.

However, unlike the store owner scenario, I wouldn't confront strangers. As noted, people nowadays can be crazy.

I am wondering if a better approach would be to say something kind to the person being confronted or disrespected. To the older man who was being pushed aside, "Boy, that family was certainly in a sweat to out of here!" You certainly couldn't run after the family, and anyway, that could be five against one.

For the man in the wheelchair, if he was obviously with someone, I would approach them and say, "Looks like your friend is having a hard day today." (This is if the wheelchair man seemed incoherent.

My idea is to throw kindness out there, rather than add fuel to the fire and be confrontational.

ETA: Lucille, you could not have said things better. I worked with the disabled population for years. Some severely disabled. I have alway said that "the disabled should be treated just like everyone else, not better!"

The disabled driver was already given special accommodations by having a handicapped spot, along with those lines, he can wait as anyone else would, for access.

I've been subjected to the bathroom scenario also. I was undertaking evacuation just as the shouting began. Assembled onlookers were appalled that I didn't fly out of the stall soiling myself and the floor as soon as the duffer - who was eating at the restaurant despite having just had hernia surgery - wanted to take my place.

***If you've just had an operation that may cause urgency, maybe stay home for awhile***.

I pretended I hadn't heard anything, washed my hands and left.

The other farts couldn't believe it. I must have been some kind of sociopath, right? Lots of looks and additional commentary after I appeared.

They had acted like of a troupe of excited chimpanzees.

Wouldn't surprise me if the store manager was trying to protect the store from the man in the wheelchair. The atmosphere, tone and image of the corporate franchise being at all times more important than the comfort and well being of an individual patron.

Embothrium for some reason I don't understand your post.Its either my mind today or one of those you know the story but I don't so hard to follow lol

Just not enough of the story to decide if the store owner was right or wrong so I have to give the benefit of the doubt to the store owner. He can't allow people to be disturbing or driving away other customers. Sounds to me like the odds are in favor of them being acquaintances. Hey, maybe it's even his/her father!

There's not really more to the story except the wheel chair man wasn't that loud and the store owner isn't the friendliest person. No, it wasn't his father... his father, the founder of the business, died some years ago. I was just expressing disappointment in intolerance.

the store owner isn't the friendliest person

There it is. Probably bought the franchise because he saw it as a cash cow and isn't particularly well oriented to dealing with the public. Whatever the one is in this instance there is always a back story that comes with everyone we all encounter behind a counter - and it very often isn't because they love working with the public and have been trained how to do so effectively.

Just not enough of the story to decide if the store owner was right or wrong so I have to give the benefit of the doubt to the store owner.

The original point was that the OP saw this take place, and wishes she had said something. Sometimes when we see something awful, words escape us for awhile because we are upset.

Had she said something, the situation may have been clarified for her.

I think that is one sees something that appears to be abusive, it may be helpful to get clarification.

When I was a school nurse, sometimes I saw suspicious injuries or sometimes the students would tell me of abuse. I would follow up and then contact the appropriate authorities when needed. The follow up and clarification sometimes, would make all the difference.