Oh how I hope this works out.

This is a simple one, IMHO. Kody's in love with your girl. He respects her to the point that he walked away so he could sow his oats. He found what he was looking for and found that sex without love means nothing. Again, IMHO. So, he's back where his heart wants to be. You and Aimee need to understand that he's hoping she's ready.

Rita...you and me both. Lol...they are just perfect for each other and Kody knows her and understands.

I need more information please.

Does Amiee plan on going to college? Getting a job? What are "her" goals for her future life?

Hm. He sowed his wild oats and is ready to come back? If he respected her, he would've stayed and observed her wishes. She shouldn't be there for him just because she has no other options currently (if I remember correctly). She's worth more than someone who knows how to serve his own needs over hers. But it's just one opinion. These two lovelies made it work for them until it was time. It can be done.

Clearwaters...I just told Amiee a bit ago we need to have **the talk** she said mom you did that when you told me humans mate like cats. Hahaha....

Amiee will see a Gyno educated somewhat with her condition. There must be a way to prevent pregnacy. She won't survive past a few months of being pregnant and she can't take any hormones to prevent pregnancy as she's too high risk for clots....did I mention shes a bleeder...but still she has to have an adult life so a tubal may be the only option.

Like Nicole, I need more info. How are they "perfect" for each other? From your description he sounds like a caregiver. What does Amiee contribute to the relationship?

ETA I was typing as you posted. "but still she has to have an adult life so a tubal may be the only option." That is very personal, not to mention you are putting the cart before the horse!

She doesn't have to have an adult life now, when she chooses to have sex is her decision. As I recall, she said no because she wasn't ready, and maybe she still is not.

I think her emotional readiness should take center stage. Even if he loves her, or especially if he loves her, it may be that sex may be something for the future, when she feels she is ready. It may not be something that needs to be 'solved' now even though you are such a good mother to her Mamapinky..

I agree that her privacy and feelings about sex should be respected.

I am having this thought, that we are cutting Kody a lot of slack because of Amiee's health situation, her lack of friends, and how sweet and attentive Kody is/was/has been given her situation. But she is not a charity case, she is going to have a full life and everything that she can do, she will do, right?

So, they are young, and young people need to learn lessons about expectations, goals, self-worth, etc. Because their relationship has been romantic, I think of it like any other young romantic relationship. If they are not exclusively seeing each other, then he should either treat her like a friend, or treat her like a girlfriend. But why should he have both? He has another girlfriend, he can buy HER gifts, I guess, (why should any young person pay the phone bill for another young person--they need to stand on their own); he needs to see that Amiee has a life without his romantic interest, and she needs to march down her own path and explore other options (school, career, romance). And she needs to see her own value, that he is NOT the only man in the world who can love and understand and have romance with her. And as a strong young woman, she should not be accepting significant gifts like a cell phone plan. That's what I would tell my own daughter.

One more thing, I hope it's not annoying to mention a book, but anyone who has read Nick Vujicic's book "Life Without Limbs" knows and understands that miracles are possible, they exist, and no one should sell themselves short based on their health situation or physical limitations. If you don't want to read the book, simply google his name, and look at the images. Mr. Vujicic has a FULL and happy, successful life. He is a miracle! Never give up, my friends.

Well Irma, I am pretty sure Aimee is not a good sky diving partner and she would be absolutely no fun climbing Half Dome. Perfect bodies are not needed to make perfect partners.

What I can imagine Aimee sharing is her life. I don't know about others, but my life is about the people I live with first and foremost. I am a lawyer and my husband is an engineer. I don't understand much about the technical side of my husband's work, but I am always there for him to discuss his ideas (if he can make me understand a concept, he can make a door understand it.) Then I am all about my children and their lives. I don't know how to do half the things they do- play the violin, fence, row, play D&D, yet I am there, cheering them on and encouraging them to do better, while wiping away tears when they fail. See, so far my limitations have not entered the equation. The abilities I have, like playing tennis, the piano and practicing law, decorating a house, doing ballet, all give me insights into the things I cannot do, like be an engineer, row a skull or swing sword like objects around.

I don't think I need to be able to do the same things my family members do in order to add to their lives.

And my goodness does Aimee have a list of things she can do that most people cannot- Aimee can persevere and thrive in the face of enormous adversity. She can share her love with others despite of her difficulties- she does not shrink away and lick her wounds- she reaches outward. Would that we all were more like Aimee.

While I am a JD/MBA, who has held some very senior positions, my life is about my family. My husband is the CEO of his fairly large company and guess what- his life is about his family too- and he would be the first person to say it.

What does anybody do for anyone else? He helps care for some of her physical needs- she helps care for some of his emotional and intellectual ones.

Rita, with all due respect, I did not ask about your relationship. You can't possibly know about someone's private life.

First of all Amiee knows I have discussed this here, I spoke to her prior to starting this post..who knows maybe she will chime in, but she's not very active in the laundry forum. Her name is Baby Pinky.

As for Amiees future... She's applied to a few online schools to start the ball rolling in fashion design which is a passion of hers. She won't have any financial difficulties after her 25'th birthday, ( Kody knows nothing of this) but her mind, and her spirit needs to be kept busy. She's also been offered a job at a pediatric vascular anomalies clinic as a sort of spokesperson..someone who's been there and understand type of job. Vascular anomalies are the leading birth defect in the US...kids need to see others going thru similar situations, they need to know life goes on and there is hope for them to have a productive future. Amiee will take this job once the clinic is ready to place her in this new position.

I realize I have spoke of Amiees condition a number of times at the KT, but its not a driving force in our household. We don't sit back and think Amiee can't do this or cant do that, and we don't often even talk about her condition other than dealing with what pops up..and we never act as if since Amiee has this condition and the prognosis is grim....well we just don't think about that..Amiees here, and that's that. She does what she can often pushing herself to do more, I don't stop her, I don't say but Amiee you will suffer later..I just smile and tell her thanks for the help, whether it was pulling weeds in the flower beds or cleaning her bath...I will be there later with her pain meds, polka dots drawn on my face with eyeliner and eyeshadow and clothspins in my hair doing a silly dance giving her something to focus on outside of her pain...and I never say..you shouldn't have...

What can she offer in a relationship with Kody or anyone else...herself..just herself. She's smart, she graduated high school at 17 with honors, this was a tremendous feat. She did it because nothing was in her way, oh there were road blocks for sure, she chose to take a detour rather than give up.

She knows how to listen and actually hear what ppeople say and she knows when to be silent and when to speak.

Amiee isn't affraid to hug, and kiss those she loves and say I love you, surprising how ma ny people don't do this.

As far as Kody being her caregiver...he wasn't, but obviously he cared enough about her to stand by her side when things were rough.

The gifts and phone...I didn't need to encourage Amiee to put a stop to it..she tried many a time..Kody chose to continue even though Amiee told him many times to stop. I personally returned the phone to Kody months ago..he wasn't home which I expected he'd be at work. The phone was returned to Amiee USPS 4 days later.

Why are these two perfect for each other....because for 6 years they laughed together and they cried together...and Kody wore clothspins in his hair many a time.....

But when its all said we don't know yet if this visit Sunday is any more than just a friendly visit..time will tell.

Irma....Rita and I have talked thru messager on Houzz, but still it surprises me to see how on the mark Rita is. Thank You Rita

Mama, I am so very touched by your kind words. I am praying for the best result for Aimee and Kody.

Please realize? I gave my answer from the eyes of an aunt who loves her niece DEARLY. All of them, and the nephews, but this niece has cerebral palsy. Clearwaters' answer on sowing his oats, really bothered me. If that's what he did do, and it was a one time slip up that's one thing. If indeed Aimee is his match, he needs to learn how to take it all. The whole ball of wax. I may have sounded harsh, but my niece has taught me, it's better to do without than to settle for a user. She's suffered a user. She found her backbone. Made me proud! I'm sure Aimee will know what to do and she's got you. So no worries. Just wanted to clarify my stance. Hope it helps!

It does sound like a case of him wanting to see if there's anything better out there, and deciding there wasn't. Whether that is a dealbreaker or not is up to Aimee.

Does Kody know that Aimee is unable to have children? I assume so, and that he doesn't want any either. I only bring that up because that's a huge consideration with a relationship that might be heading towards marriage, and I've seen that tear apart more than a few relationships.

Rob, please..no problem you

did not offend me.

Yes Kody is well aware that Amiee can't have kids..biological kids...but no one needs to remain childless unless they choose to. Theres so many children that need adoptive parents.

A JFYI none of you have offended me. Your responses have been inquisitive and helpful Thank You.

Yes, adoption is always a choice but a lot of people only want biological children. It's good to know he's aware and on the same page.

Interesting. My two DD's are 27 and 29. Both say they are not interested in children. Although youngest talks about adoption saying there are so many children out there that need a home.

I have spoken to others and this is not uncommon for the millennials.

Lovely thought about adoption -- so many kids, not just babies, need loving supportive homes.

I don't have any advice, just am trying to remember something that helped me a while back. When facing a situation with uncertain outcome, and you want it to go one way, but it might not go that way ... instead of hoping/praying for success instead of failure, hope/pray for success if it's meant to succeed and failure if it's meant to fail. I'm sure where ever I heard/read that, it was put more gracefully. Regardless, acknowledging that what I hoped for, might not happen, and I'd survive and get through it, helped me.

Wishing them well, and confidence that they will be fine, whatever form their future relationship takes.

Hard to understand being a young man from a woman's point of view. Hopefully they are happy together. Aimee sounds like she is a strong person and knows what will be good for her.