So will you and your sister 'co-parent' the kids? What a huge adjustment for both of you and your respective spouses!

So you have had custody of them so far but they are going to be under your sisters care in Orlando?

What a stressful situation for all of you to be involved in and with 2 Innocents in the middle, that's rough.

I hope you all navigate these tough times together.

The children are so lucky to have you and your sister involved. I do understand the DH's point of view.

I hope you find a solution that will work all around.

I don't recall seeing anything, but I'm guessing you must have taken in a very young set of siblings? That's amazing, but I know it must be super tough. I don't think I could do it - good luck!

But what will happen to them if you don't take them? They've been through so much.

"But what will happen to them if you don't take them? They've been through so much."

I'm sorry - to me that just sounds like you're trying to guilt-trip OP into taking the children. For a variety of reasons, it may not be feasible!

I hope I never find myself in the situation of having to raise someone else's kids. I've DONE my time as a parent and am thoroughly enjoying my empty nest. I don't want to have to go through the horrid teenage years again, and I enjoy my freedom.

Jewels, first let me say I worked for Childrens services in the past.. I've mentioned this before.

Have you notified the courts or Childrens services about the children losing both parents. The children have been living with you so you have maintained physical custody on your own, but legal custody is a different matter. Legally you can not obtain medical services or enroll the children in school without a court ordered custody order. You also can not remove them from their home state without custody. I strongly encourage you to contact your local Childrens services they can help you to obtain a court ordered custody order without it costing you for legal paperwork. They can also help you obtain cash assistance to help with the support..what about medical coverage? Do they have it and whose name is it in? Remember someone must have court ordered custody of children not living with their parents either a family member or the state. I'm not telling you this to upset you but rather to help. Its wonderful that you've been caring for the children, I would not want to see problems come your way....maybe you already went thru the courts for custody???

I agree with Oly, raising small children should be a mutual decision. It takes so much sacrifice and work and children feel when they are resented, even when the person who feels that way tries to hide it.

This is a terribly difficult situation for everyone involved and I truly hope you and your sister are able to find a solution that works for all of you. The children deserve and need a loving, stable home but I also understand what an upheaval this must be for the adults as well. Best of luck to you and your family.

Jewels, as you may know I'm raising my 2 grands....not a easy job at my age...you need to really dig deep into yourself before making the HUGE commitment of raising these children and your hubs has to be in agreement. I don't know your age, but this is a tremendous job that will effect you, your hubs, and the children for many years possiably for the rest of all your lives...if you are able to raise and love the children wonderful..if your not able to commit to raising them even though you love them...that's OK...it truely is ok. Theres no reason you should ever feel guilt if you are unable to raise these children. Think about this Jewels. You've gone above and beyond, you don't have to anything more than making sure the kids are in a safe loving home with both parties fully having open arms either with you, another family or adoptive parents. My best to you dear and the children.

The laws in every state are different, you should check out what applies for these kids where you and they are. Even keeping them in your home may require court action if no guardianship paperwork was done by parents in advance. How about the kid's mother?

This is a no win situation. I loved almost all the experiences of my child rearing years with my kids (and the teenage years were the best of all) but done is done. I wouldn't have ever wanted to start over again with others. Some do, it's a personal choice. Luckily I didn't have to face the situation you're in, I'm sorry you have to deal with it. Best wishes.

I never wanted to start over again either, but my bond with the babies prevented me from making any choice other than the one I made. It can be hard, sacrifices are great, but I don't regret my decision. If I could go back knowing all I know now, I'd still take my boys.

Elmer, the mother of the children is also deceased. She passed away about a month before the death of the father.

Elmer, Jewels niece and nephew have lost both parents, neither are living.

Note: Jewel's niece and nephew (her brother's children) have recently lost both parents to drug overdoses.

If only the blood relations here (the aunts) are willing to accept raising these children, perhaps an agency can arrange an open adoption that would place the two kids in the same family with visitation rights for their aunts.

A tough decision for sure. I am like Elmer. I had no trouble with my daughter's teenage years...but being a parent takes a full time commitment. My husband lost his parents at a very young age. I think it has affected his whole life, because he was also shuffled around. It definitely had bearing on how he turned out. Not all bad, he is a good person, but his personal relationships. I will just say it....it damages a person. If there is anything that children need, it is stability and consistency.

How very very sad and tragic. It doesn't change anything but what sadness and irreparable damage their irresponsible conduct caused for themselves and two unprotected little kids.

I don't remember hearing cause of death for Jewel's sister in law, no longer married to her brother. She did share she lost her brother and his SO to drugs.

I know a woman who is in a similar situation. Her daughter was murdered by her estranged husband who then committed suicide. The children were in the house at the time and were about ages 8 and 12. They have a grandmother who is probably in her late 70's and an aunt who is single, by choice, and who has no desire to rear children. They have hired a nanny, are sending them to summer camp, and will send them to boarding school when old enough to go. Frankly, I think it would have been better if they had been put up for adoption as they have to know they are not wanted. They've really had quite enough trauma in their young lives.

What a heart breaking situation. You and your family are in my thoughts and prayers as you all find ways of coping with what has happened.

Just to clear up things. The kid's mom passed away on December 31 from a disease she had called Ehlers-Danlos Syndrome. My brother's girlfriend died of an overdose in the middle of April and my brother died of an overdose on May 3rd.

God Bless you Jewels. This is a tough situation all around. Bless you for stepping up.

I'm so sorry for all the heartache these tragedies have brought and will keep you all in my prayers.

Oh my, Jewels, you certainly have your hands full....bless you for taking these children. You will be in my thoughts and prayers. Keep us posted.