OT Why do people get frustrated when others doubt their roses?

6 years ago

I feel like I'm wasting my time on social media such as facebook and messageboards it really stuff up my mental well being. I made a comment asking if the picture that this person posted is really Felicite Parmentier and had two people snapped at me. It has nothing to do with "hey I'm smarter than you".. but more to be sure that we are actually growing the correct rose to prevent the lost identity of roses. I also had another person who snapped at me and called me "unless you are a David Austin expert, I will say my rose is Tea Clipper" when the rose she posted does not look like a Tea Clipper! So tell me, why do most people lost their cool when others tell you that you might have the wrong rose?

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Comments (5)

ingrid_vc so. CA zone 9
6 years ago
I've never had this happen to me, but if it did I would be too busy verifying my information, because I'd want to be sure that I was correct in my identification. Perhaps some people feel it's a blow to their ego to be questioned because they consider themselves experts. One of my passions is acquiring antique Chinese porcelain, and it took me a good while to be fairly certainly that I hadn't bought a fake, never mind what dynasty it was from, eating humble pie all the way. Some of the people I interacted with were renowned experts in their field, and I wasn't about to question their knowledge. To react negatively in the way that you describe tells me that this person is more concerned about looking like an "expert" rather than definitely nailing down the correct name. The real expert won't let his personal feelings interfere with his quest of finding out the truth. That's really the only thing that should matter, but I suppose it's easy to get carried away when you're already invested in a rose being a certain one. It's a human failing, and most of us have probably fallen prey to it at one time or another. I'd rather not admit it, but I have, more than once.
mcnastarana
6 years ago
A while back, in the 90s, one of the wholesale growers was selling 'Jacques Cartier' and calling it 'Konigen von Danemark'. A few people in the rose society bought it, as did I, and there was no telling them that KvD does not repeat. (sigh) Such is life. They still got a beautiful rose and simply did not care about correct IDs.
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MiGreenThumb (Z5b S.Michigan/Sunset 41) Elevation: 1091 feet
6 years ago
Reminds me of a recent experience in which a woman that a friend of mine knows told me a ridiculous and fantastical tale about how bees had "cross pollinated my yellow rose and it hermaphrodited (sic) into a climbing red one".

Needless to say, my friendly explanation of grafting/budding and how Doctor Huey takes over fell upon ignorant and refusing ears with a very rude response. I told her I was sorry but she needed to take on some reading materials for she did not understand the basic science and biology. For myself, my blood felt quite hot at that point, especially with that story ridiculous enough to spawn a religion of its own.

Unfortunately, FACTS and REALITY matter not to some.

I consider accuracy to be of utmost importance, and teamwork can help figure out the answer!

Steven
Melissa Northern Italy zone 8
6 years ago
People on the forum are good, I think: I've now and then raised a question here as to the identity of a posted rose and never gotten a sharp answer, though I was braced for the possibility of one. This calmness is a tribute to how seriously we take our roses and gardening, as well as the high level of civility of this forum. I think Ingrid has the psychology of defensiveness correct.
jerijen
6 years ago
The thing is, I've learned over 30+ years that a rose I grow, and know pretty well, can look shockingly different in different conditions.

I also know how common it is to receive mis-named roses.

So, if I am ASKED, I provide info on what something looks like where I am. But, WOWIE . . . things can be SO different. No one should be upset.

OT Why do people get frustrated when others doubt their roses?

Comments (5)

ingrid_vc so. CA zone 9

mcnastarana

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