Spring being a tough act to follow, God created JUNE READING
7 years ago
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- 7 years ago
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Idyll #330 Bone dry and tough as nails!
Comments (101)We have a very pretty screen door on the front of the house. It has the old-fashioned method of closure, just a little spring loaded doohicky. You just push the door, no knob to turn. Rex mastered it in no time flat. I retired to the security of the bedroom about 8-8:30 last night, helpmeet was watching the Kevin Spacey labor of love, "Beyond the Sea" (it's great) and dozing off on the couch. Evidently, the huge one decided to let himself out (helpmeet having forgotten to close the big door to prevent "AbsentWithOutLeash" activity). He was awakened by frenzied barking and several high-pitched, anguished animal cries. He flew down the stair and called Rex, who returned immediately and obviously stricken. At that point I vaulted out of bed, rolling the sleeping cat (Vera) uncermoniously onto the floor. I raced down the stairs in my night attire, underpants (not lime green ones). I have little fear the imagination of the crew will cue up a nice visual of the dash down the stairs... . The helpmeet was examining Rex, fearfully looking for quills and oblivious to the slowly permeating smell of something akin to burnt rubber... . Yup; SKUNKED. First time in my life I've ever had a pet skunked! Still clad only in underpants, I ordered the boy and his dog OUTDOORS and raced back up the stairs to Google "cleaning a skunked dog". I retireved the dog shampoo, rubber gloves, towels and presented them to the helpmeet. I stumbled to the spigot and hooked the watering wand to the hose and dragged that to the stricken cur (securely tied to the contractor's trailer...) and bolted back upstairs to put on a tee shirt and locate the remaining amount of "Skunk Kleen". And we washed the dog. The helpmeet then located Mr. Skunkie, by the side of the road. To quell the rising smell he decided to put him a plastic bag and bury him in the morning... but Mr. Skunkie was still alive. We decided to call the cops and ask what to do with a wounded skunk in the road... cop arrived, rolled down the window and helpmeet said, "so this is the glamorous side of policework, huh?". The officer cracked up and they went to the site of Mr. Skunkie... no skunkie, but a pool of blood. No blood trail, and a careful search of the area revealed nothing. So we have no idea where he is now, or whether or not he's died somewhere nearby. We do not know if he'd been hit by a car and Rex "discovered him" and was then sprayed or if he was contentedly scrounging around the gaHden and Rex discovered him, attacked him, and then was sprayed. What I do know is that my home still smells of skunk, the dog is going to receive a repeat of the neutralizer, and he is going to smell unpleasant for some time to come. I hate dogs. Eden, beautiful room! Denise... have you seen "Little Miss Sunshine"? LOL, I'll never look at another VW bus the same way again....See MoreSo tired of perennials acting like annuals!!!
Comments (27)Hello cargobean, Looks like you have gotten a lot of responses. It must be that this is a topic that struck a chord for many people. Probably because we have all lost plants at one time or another. I have lost a lot of plants for one reason or another over the years. Just two years ago I lost the new Echinacea Harvest Moon, which I can't attribute it to any reason in my garden, but have heard too many reports about problems with the new echinaceas to blame it on anything else. Sounds like you have already arrived at some conclusions about what you want to do next. Already planning a compost bin, already trying to choose no fuss plants....going to try the evergreen boughs. I hope you will forgive me if I embroider the edges of what has already been said, if not for your sake, for the sake of others looking for similar information. On the subject of fertilizer... I use fertilizer in my containers only. I try to improve my soil instead. I was fortunate to learn gardening from someone who had already had enough experience and knowledge about growing plants that he had already worked out for himself to grow organically and to 'feed the soil' not the plants. I seem to remember his family had already been doing that before him too. He also had a masters in Physics. He had a great garden, so I just followed his lead. Since then everything I have read, or experienced has only validated that. The subject of Soil/Compost is not the most exciting topic and I have a tendency to gravitate to the Perennial and Shrub forums etc., but I do spend time over on the Soil forum too. A lot of very knowledgeable people over there at times. Like you, I also take the approach of using plants that can fend for themselves for the most part. It depends on how much I like a plant, how much trouble I will go to for it. For instance, I love delphiniums and they are not usually considered the easiest, 'fend for themselves' plant. You have to stake them for starters, which I try to limit. But if I can get them to grow well, everyone here really enjoys them, so that is the one plant I have chosen to make an exception to my usual approach. :-) I haven't fertilized those either though and they performed well last year. Keeping my fingers crossed for this year. I just wanted to say again, if it hasn't been clear from all the responses. Over the years, I have heard more reports of gaura not surviving the winter than it making it. I have the impression that it is notorious for not coming back in my neck of the woods. The Northeast is well known for having a clay soil on the acidic side for the most part. I did a google search of just your Petite Pink Gaura, as you asked if it could be mislabeled. Most references give it a zone 5 hardiness, but I did find two references that refer to it as a zone 6 hardy perennial. One of them being White Flower Farm. So, it would seem that not everyone is in agreement that it is zone 6. Here are the links... http://www.gardencrossings.com/index.cfm/fuseaction/plants.plantDetail/plant_id/1110/index.htm http://www.whiteflowerfarm.com/29475-product.html Since the last time I posted, I was looking for some information on a variety of Shasta that I have and I did run across an article reporting that they too do not like the moisture over the winter. Where I have mine planted, is a mounded bed that slopes slightly, so the drainage may be ok there for them. You asked how you tell if something has made it. I have never put much store on scraping the stems to see if they are green. I only depend on new growth. I wait it out to see if there is new growth. How long do I wait? Well, that really depends. Lots of times it won't bother me to wait until mid to late June. If it is in a prominent place and I am afraid I am not going to get something else in that position to bloom in time to enjoy it, I might not wait that long and replace it. Of course, if the plant is really important to you, that changes things. You could always dig it out and pot it up and watch it longer if there is some doubt about whether it might come back and then plant the open space in the bed without waiting. Plants have surprised me so many times, after I was sure that they were dead, that I really like to give them a chance if I really like them and don't want to replace them. You mention that you want to fix what you might be doing wrong. Really it is not about doing what is wrong so much as that with gardening there seems to be always something more to learn...lol. I am still learning after 25 years of gardening. I discovered winter sowing on the Winter Sowing forum on GW just three years ago, after someone on another forum highly recommended it to me. Wow, that was an exciting learning experience! I had so much fun and I just wished I had known about it sooner. If you have a lot of reliable plants like those you listed but still find you want to try new plants every year, winter sowing is the way to go. It is not only fun, it is really easy, very inexpensive and you end up with a ton of plants every year. Best way to try new things without it costing you a bundle. PLus a lot of annuals can be done this way and save you even more money. I found that when I did this, it really doesn't bother me to lose something as much because I have so much and I can replace things so easily. I am not able to do as much as I like, but if you don't have any obstacles in the way of spending the time/energy doing it, then you would probably get even more out of it than I have. Hope you are enjoying this beautiful spring weather and that some of your plants surprise you with some new growth. :-) pm2...See MoreCan shade act as winter chill for Gallicas etc?
Comments (23)This is an extremely interesting discussion, which I came upon after reading California Melissa's comments about Hybrid Perpetuals in a thread I started and got started thinking about this topic. I want to add my comments about Mediterranean climate as I know it. Our garden is in the northern foothills of the Apennines in northern Italy. Our climate is probably pretty typical of that of a good deal of the country, a little warmer and dryer than in the Po Plain below us, chillier than on the coast. We grow temperate climate fruits, bulbs, and roses without difficulty; but Italian cypresses and pines, for example, thrive here, and olives do well in warmer areas once established. The Mediterranean climate as I know it, without achieving what most Americans would consider serious cold, offers chill hours in abundance. Most years in January and February we have week after week of temperatures in the thirties and low forties, with cold periods in the upper twenties. There have been warm winters in the twelve years I've lived in Italy, when it was possibly to go out in the garden and work comfortably for most of the winter, but I've never known the tulips to fail to bloom, or the plums, pears, and cherries to flower and fruit. A fact I like to quote to U.S. friends is that we live just south of the 45th Parallel, about the same latitude as Bangor, Maine. Many Americans don't realize how far north Europe is, including much of Italy. The climate is different here. We have a hot dry summer, but we also have a long winter and a pronounced spring and autumn, and although temperatures rarely fall much below 20F, winter is plenty chilly, in part because the days are so short and it's humid a good deal of that time. I agree with comments in this thread that the flowering of the once-blooming roses of European probably depends on a complex group of factors, and varies from variety to variety. But I do want to explain what cold is where I live, in an Italian environment of a common type. Melissa...See Moreis marrying someone with a child too tough?
Comments (26)My take, 15 years ago. . . to the present. Some things have slightly changed for SMs, and some things have not, and some things have a long way to go. What is a potential SM supposed to look for nowadays? There really is no one set of answers. There are just too many extenuating factors to take into consideration, and still much of the advice out there for SMs is based on long-held presumptions and assumptions, and much of it is based on what largely non-SMs think should work vs. what actually may. Very few, even amongst professionals, take into consideration SM’s main role as dad’s wife or SO and instead seem to only want to focus on the “mom” part of SM. Because of this, for years and years SMs have been looked at almost solely as competitors to mom or competitors to SKs for dad’s attention, and SMs have traditionally been treated abrasively and judged harshly because of it. The reality is, most SMs just want to be dad’s wife or SO, and welcoming to the children. I’ve been a SM for over 15 years now, and I still can’t really help much with the “How do you make it work?,” question. What I can tell you is that as a SM, or even potential SM, you need to do what works for you, because there is so much bad or contradictory advise out there, it is unbelievable. What works in one step-situation might not work in another, because there may be a huge difference in the many factors that go into making a step-situation work. I often even refer to SP’ing as a crazy backwards world, because things that no woman or wife would be expected to take in a typical family situation, for some reason a SM is expected to take and with no questions asked. In the year 2018, everyone knows spouses and even SOs are to be seated together at events. This is just a given, isn’t it? Not with SMs, that’s for sure.! You can be married to your husband for years and years and it can still be a crap shoot whom someone will try to pair with your husband at a family event, no permission needed. You’ll both just attend an event, and, surprise!, everything will be arranged like your husband and his ex- are still a ‘joined at the hip twosome’ and you (SM) simply do not exist. This is just one example. Follow your instincts. If something doesn’t feel right, it probably isn’t. Look out for yourself. Most people will probably tell you something like, “Just be nice to the kids, and it will all work out,” or something similarly sappy. It sounds like common sense, and I would have thought the same before I became a SP, but that’s another thing. . . a lot of what sounds like common sense doesn’t work in step-world. There are studies that show that the nicer a SM is, the more the kids may start to despise her, because their loyalties are to mom, and they’ll just automatically look at SM as competition for mom. This is especially true if BM encourages them to think such, which certainly can occur. There is no way you can change anyone’s mind in this situation. You can’t control BM; nor should you be expected to. This is where you need a STRONG husband/ DH. He needs to put his foot down from day one that you are his SO and his children are to treat you as dad’s wife, and not as mom’s competition. Sounds simple enough, but so many divorced men with children fail on this one it is unbelievable. Too many of these men wind up treating their wife or SO like a child and their child more like a spouse. Even little things like letting his son or daughter sit in the front seat next to him ALL the time while you’re in the back, could send the message to the kids that they are dad’s significant other and not you. Children deserve to have all the love in the world, but they are not SOs and they are not wives. You combine a lot of these SM in the back type situations, along with guilty dad syndrome and BM’s PAS’ing, and next thing you know, you start to feel like the servant they are treating you as, and then when you go to one of your married friends to complain, she tells you that you need to understand more and give them space and not put your DH in the middle. In reality, not only are YOU the one being put in the middle, but you are also being put in the middle of someone else’s divorce/ fallout. There is no way you should be put in the middle of this and no way you can correct this. Only your DH can. Not trying to sound sour, but trying to get all to see that there is no way a SM should have to settle for being sloppy seconds just because her husband has children from a previous relationship. If as a SM, you feel like you are being the family servant or scapegoat or can never do anything right, or everyone is telling you you need to suck it up for the “family,” these are all signs that your DH is letting you take the fall, among other things. One might expect that of BM or even SKs, but very few women ever expect that once they get heavily involved with or marry, that their DH could so easily shrug his shoulders and let his wife or SO take the fall in reference to his family pretty much every time. In the end, the only advice I can really give any SM, is make sure you have a strong and true and tried DH before you ever marry him. You’ll need at least that. There is really no way to guarantee your success as a SM, as success largely depends on bio-mom and bio-dad, and less on SM or the SKs. And, remember: Manipulative, controlling BM and weak, enabling DH almost surely means Step Hell for life....See More- 7 years ago
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