What smart boys you have! You've done a good job teaching them the value of working hard and getting good grades! I loved summer vacation with my kids.

I'm proud of their high grades too, and their wonderful plans for summer. I hope y'all have a lot of fun!

Congratulations on your boys! Sounds like they have good plans for summer!

Thank you!! Its going to be a busy summer for sure, but more relaxed busy if that makes sense. Tim ask if he can volunteer at the local laundramat. .omg..I had to literally stop myself from cracking up..a few months ago a local community agency started a program at the laundramat in town, low income people can take their laundry there on Sunday afternoons to wash and dry at no cost, detergent is provided also. The folks bringing in their laundry must arrive at 1 pm for a short instruction on laundering...I am the instructor..LOL. Tim is often there reading or drawing, but has decided to either be my right hand or steal my job, haha. Of course I told him I'd love his help, but he is never ever to touch anyone's laundry, he understands about body fluids ect on laundry from strangers and knows this is why I wear gloves while helping....

The more I think about it the busier I may be this summer.

Elizabeth, I have always loved my kids home in the summer also. My son Michael never wanted to budge and do anything..these boys are always getting involved..I like it that they don't spend all their time behind a video game. I ask Tims friend today what he's going to be doing all summer....play video games he said...his mom is a math teacher. Lol

Last day of school here too. It was bittersweet. My oldest is now officially a senior. Senior pictures for the yearbook are next week. yikes! He really only has June off. He's volunteering with some other kids to visit nursing homes during that time.

My youngest goes to band camp next week and then hopes to get some volunteer hours in for honor society. She needs to put her request in so she can get it approved.

The middle child wants a job. He may have waited too late especially since he isn't 16 yet. We will see.

Oh mamapinky, I'm tired already thinking about my GK's and they don't even live with me. They have another week. But early release all this week. 4 kids, 3 different schools for me to pick up.

How nice to see you your boys following in your example of service. Wishing you and your family a summer filled with joy and wonder.

mamapinky - My son played the baritone starting in grade 4 as well. He loved it. When he moved to high school in grade 8 he switched to the tuba which he loved even more. He liked being the "engine" of the band.

Retired educator! No regrets! Was time.

Our last day was last Friday, a noon release. My oldest will be starting 5th grade at a new school in the fall where she will be exposed to band, choir and theater on a rotation schedule but they don't get to pick one fine arts subject until 6th grade I believe.

My kids have always been straight A honor roll students in elementary but I didn't realize until this year how much harder the content and/or grading policies are. In kinder and first grade, most students seem to be on the A or A-B honor roll. In second and third grade it seems to be about half.

My oldest just finished fourth grade and I didn't know until the end of year awards assembly that she was one of only 7 kids who made it on the A honor roll. Out of 70.

She is such a trooper and so very smart, I guess I feel bad because what she is doing IS really hard and most people can't do it. But she comes home with another A like she always has and I'm like, "it's Tuesday, want some tacos?"

Please tell me I'm not the only parent who struggles with wanting to praise and "coddle" and simply expecting their best effort and therefore not giving any extra praise when their "best effort" happens to be among the exceptional.

Maybe just say something like "your hard work paid off as usual!". It's recognizing the effort without over-praising.

I teach young kids and I have to be careful not to praise them too much.

I think there is a difference between the concept of 'everybody gets a ribbon' and giving genuine praise for honest work and effort.

Ahhh....Memory Lane! Summer was always fun.

We kept the kids busy with camp, swimming lessons, sometimes summer school, vacation trips, the beach. Seems like each summer had an unintentional theme -- One year we got the swingset in the backyard, another they were old enough to ride their bikes to the baseball card shop every day. The school year was intense, especially with extra-curricular activities added in, and I welcomed lots of free time for my kid in the summer.

Lucille, it depends. It's certainly good to give praise for hard work. However I have seen what happens when children are praised for everything they do. Depends on the child but some will learn that they get the same response for a high effort work as lower effort work and will lose that self-motivation to do their best.

I had a kindergartener who was so used to being showered in praise for every little thing she did at home that she would have complete meltdowns at school if the teacher would give minor corrections instead of praising her work. It was really sad to see such a young child's self-esteem be so tied up in adult praise.

It's difficult. Every day I have beaming 3 year olds run up to show me their pictures and every instinct I have wants to say "wow! It's beautiful, great job!" But they are smart and they will realize that a carefully colored drawing gets the same response as a few scribbles and they will start expecting praise for less and less. But I also don't want to turn them away so I will say, "thank you for showing me! Would you like to tell me about your picture?" That gives them the attention that they want without the over-praising. I try to anyway, I definitely slip up with those sweet faces looking at me. :)

Everyone wants to be recognized so praise is good. But I believe it should be given out with awareness of true hard work and not for every thing a child does with some effort. And never say things like "oh you are so smart" because, like Rita said, children can start to believe that their natural intelligence is enough to get them through, and will grow frustrated when it's not. Recognizing hard work emphasizes that it is effort that matters and will help the kids develop self-motivation, self-discipline and resourcefulness, and these kids will be less likely to give up when facing challenges.

Chi, did you read my post, I led off by implying just what you said when talking about ribbons for everyone.

GENIUNE praise is important, and children thirst for it. It actually takes some skill, as a performance by one child might be an amazing first for him or her, but expected of most.

Yes, I read your post Lucille. I took it to mean that any honest work and effort should be praised, and that's what I was responding to. I absolutely agree that praise is very important for the right circumstances.

Chi, once again I have to say I love reading your posts! I worked with younger children when I was in my 20's and though it was hard work, I sure did enjoy it. Yeah, those faces....

Congratulations to all whose kids have finished school for the year. Now comes the hard work for the moms and dads. :) While I loved not having a school schedule during the summers, 2 of my 3 loved nothing more than reading for hours on end while the third loved to watch tv. I had a hard time motivating them during the summer but they did learn to deal with boredom, which I think is important. I had a few things scheduled, but not a lot.

Rita -- I enjoyed the Dweck presentation about "not yet" and "yet" as superior ways to keep kids motivated to pursue knowledge. But I *loved* Gopnik's talk about how babies and very young children are constantly testing how *everything* in the world works. (Some of which I think must lead to the 'lack of experience' assumptions that we call "magical thinking".)

Mama, I apologize for the thread highjack. I promise this will be the last OT post.

Chisue, The Scientist in the Crib by Gopnik was the first parenting book I bought back in '99/'00. I love all of Gopnik's work. Her assumptions of children's innate capacities and drive make her my favorite parenting/education author.

Here is a video that focuses exclusively on Dweck's mindset work https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=aPNeu07I52w. This video is not as engaging as the TED one, but it's probably more useful.

PS Allison Gopnik is Adam Gopnik's sister. That whole family is ridiculously accomplished.

Rita, its fine, please continue on. I'm enjoying reading.

Rita -- I've just shown my DH the portion of Gopnik's talk featuring the four-year-old's experiment with the light cubes. Thanks for answering our question, wondering how she's related to Adam Gopnik!

Straying further OT... our DS struggled to move beyond the 'gathering information' stage to gain the adult 'focus' stage. He is still (age 46) constantly distracted by too much input when he moves from one activity to another. Because he never 'acted out', and because it was only beginning to be understood when he was a child, he never had help with is today called ADD.

The human brain has fascinated me from the time I did a book report on the topic in sixth grade.

chi -- I'm so happy for you, being able to help precious little people every day. I'm not *envious*, though, being much too old not to be exhausted by the work.