Absentee father now wants help
My father left us for another woman when I was 12. He rarely bothered with us after that, even though he lived 5 miles from us. His reason for not having time for us was that he had a "new little family" He has done some very cruel and hurtful things to my mother and us, his children from his first marriage. Fast forward 40 yrs later, his 2nd wife left him for another man, and his "new little family" doesn't bother with him unless it's to ask for money. Now he is elderly, and needs elder care, so all of a sudden he's decided we, his daughters from his first marriage, should be the ones to provide it. He has been falling a lot, and ended up needing to stay in a rehab facility. Now his insurance has run out, they won't pay for any more time there, but he is not ready to go home, he still cannot walk or dress himself. They recommend he stay a few more weeks to continue the physical therapy, but he will have to self pay. He has the funds to do that, but doesn't want to, he feels we should pay for it so that he doesn't have to use his own funds. He has been telling them he has no assets (not true) and they suggest he apply for medicaid. He asked me to fill out the application, but Dad wants me to lie on it and claim he has no money. I refused to do it, that is a crime and I will not take part in it. Nor will I pay for him when he has the funds to pay himself. Now he is insisting he will go home against medical advice and feels that my sister and I should be his full time caregivers. I don't feel an obligation to do that, he has no interest in me at all in many years and only now, that he needs help he turns to me. My obligation is to see that he is in a safe and comfortable living situation, but that is all. I feel sorry for him, but feel that he has the funds to pay for help, so that is what he needs to do. Of course he is very angry with us now, calling us "ungrateful daughters" No mention of asking his daughters from his 2nd marriage for help, they treat him the way he treated us and he knows they would never provide it.